Is 4 months too young to send baby to daycare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know any educational administrator who only makes $40,000. Are you a troll?

She probably works in the front office calling kids out of class to be picked up early and is just called an administrator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t send the baby at 4 months. If she must work, get a nanny. But she doesn’t have to work. The priority is all wrong here. Infants need a secure attachment with a constant warm caregiver. You can’t control the high staff turnover in daycare. Your baby will cry because that’s reality with 1 adult to several babies.

Look at the Quebec daycare study. Early start to care and long hours leads to behavioral and emotional issues.

Thanks I’ll look into this study. Also, see my previous post about her only working part time. Maybe a nanny would be a better solution. It might only be 15-20 hrs a week. I think in the end it might cost the same but the baby being at home could be better

OP, I hope you chose the nanny route as it is the best available option at your baby’s tender age for childcare.
Daycare is usually reserved for the parents who do not have the funds to afford a nanny. Having a nanny is the most expensive childcare option because it is the BEST option period.

Nope but I bet it makes you feel good about yourself to bash other families' choices.

[Anonymous]

My kids both went t 4 months. They are currently in top 20 colleges with no emotional problems.

Did I love sending them to daycare when they were infants? No. But it was the best available option. I felt ok about leaving them with people who knew a lot more about babies than I did. I also didn’t want to be a boss to someone.

Your kid will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know any educational administrator who only makes $40,000. Are you a troll?

She’s in a very entry level position

[Anonymous]

OP here I haven’t been monitoring this thread much but we found a few daycares that seemed nice. My wife is wanting to work because she needs a break from watching her. I’m at work all day and then come home and need to cook, clean, laundry, etc so the baby is still with her. I always offer to watch the baby to let her exercise and go out, have personal time as well but it’s still a lot of time she’s spending stuck watching the baby and breastfeeding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here I haven’t been monitoring this thread much but we found a few daycares that seemed nice. My wife is wanting to work because she needs a break from watching her. I’m at work all day and then come home and need to cook, clean, laundry, etc so the baby is still with her. I always offer to watch the baby to let her exercise and go out, have personal time as well but it’s still a lot of time she’s spending stuck watching the baby and breastfeeding.

Op, having a baby is a lot of work. It’s what you signed up for, even if you didn’t realize just how much work, and how very tiring it can be.

Your wife wanting time to be her own adult human being and work a job she enjoys is completely normal.

If you both work during the day, you both come home in the evening and figure out how to manage the household chores as well as enjoying time with the baby. I understand feeling “stuck washing bottles” or “stuck changing diapers,” because when you’re new parents trying to figure it all out and lacking sleep, it can be really hard. But if you both feel “Stuck watching the baby” on a regular basis, I wonder if there’s some depression or bigger issues at play that need to be addressed.

This transition in life can be a challenge. You’re responsible for a tiny human now, which is so different than just worrying about your job and how to spend free time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here I haven’t been monitoring this thread much but we found a few daycares that seemed nice. My wife is wanting to work because she needs a break from watching her. I’m at work all day and then come home and need to cook, clean, laundry, etc so the baby is still with her. I always offer to watch the baby to let her exercise and go out, have personal time as well but it’s still a lot of time she’s spending stuck watching the baby and breastfeeding.

Op, having a baby is a lot of work. It’s what you signed up for, even if you didn’t realize just how much work, and how very tiring it can be.

Your wife wanting time to be her own adult human being and work a job she enjoys is completely normal.

If you both work during the day, you both come home in the evening and figure out how to manage the household chores as well as enjoying time with the baby. I understand feeling “stuck washing bottles” or “stuck changing diapers,” because when you’re new parents trying to figure it all out and lacking sleep, it can be really hard. But if you both feel “Stuck watching the baby” on a regular basis, I wonder if there’s some depression or bigger issues at play that need to be addressed.

This transition in life can be a challenge. You’re responsible for a tiny human now, which is so different than just worrying about your job and how to spend free time.

OP's wife sounds completely normal. Tons of new parents feel relieved when they do back to work because babies are exhausting and often boringm Others don't and want to stay home. In an ideal world everyone has options that work for their family.

That being said if DH does think his wife is depressed, that is common too and he should help her get support in that case

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here I haven’t been monitoring this thread much but we found a few daycares that seemed nice. My wife is wanting to work because she needs a break from watching her. I’m at work all day and then come home and need to cook, clean, laundry, etc so the baby is still with her. I always offer to watch the baby to let her exercise and go out, have personal time as well but it’s still a lot of time she’s spending stuck watching the baby and breastfeeding.

The first bit can be incredibly hard, especially when nursing because you can't be away from the baby or a pump for more than a couple hours. And some babies really struggle with being put down in the early stages. It can be very isolating and exhausting. I used to joke that I felt like the milk machine during those days. It's mentally very draining.

Remember this time is temporary and things will get better. It sounds like she needs some help right now.

[Anonymous]

Definitely.

I would only send my 4MO baby to daycare if it was the only form of childcare that I could afford.
If you can afford a nanny then take full advantage of it!

Daycare is a good option if you want your child to have socialization - it’s not fair to leave a baby there.
One adult is usually responsible for more than one infant which would guarantee that your baby will not have his immediate needs attended to and at his tender age, ALL of his needs are pretty much immediate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t send the baby at 4 months. If she must work, get a nanny. But she doesn’t have to work. The priority is all wrong here. Infants need a secure attachment with a constant warm caregiver. You can’t control the high staff turnover in daycare. Your baby will cry because that’s reality with 1 adult to several babies.

Look at the Quebec daycare study. Early start to care and long hours leads to behavioral and emotional issues.

Thanks I’ll look into this study. Also, see my previous post about her only working part time. Maybe a nanny would be a better solution. It might only be 15-20 hrs a week. I think in the end it might cost the same but the baby being at home could be better

OP, I hope you chose the nanny route as it is the best available option at your baby’s tender age for childcare.
Daycare is usually reserved for the parents who do not have the funds to afford a nanny. Having a nanny is the most expensive childcare option because it is the BEST option period.

Nope but I bet it makes you feel good about yourself to bash other families' choices.

It IS the best childcare option….that is why it is also the most pricey one.

This is basically fact - not understanding how it is bashing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t send the baby at 4 months. If she must work, get a nanny. But she doesn’t have to work. The priority is all wrong here. Infants need a secure attachment with a constant warm caregiver. You can’t control the high staff turnover in daycare. Your baby will cry because that’s reality with 1 adult to several babies.

Look at the Quebec daycare study. Early start to care and long hours leads to behavioral and emotional issues.

Thanks I’ll look into this study. Also, see my previous post about her only working part time. Maybe a nanny would be a better solution. It might only be 15-20 hrs a week. I think in the end it might cost the same but the baby being at home could be better

OP, I hope you chose the nanny route as it is the best available option at your baby’s tender age for childcare.
Daycare is usually reserved for the parents who do not have the funds to afford a nanny. Having a nanny is the most expensive childcare option because it is the BEST option period.

Nope but I bet it makes you feel good about yourself to bash other families' choices.

It IS the best childcare option….that is why it is also the most pricey one.

This is basically fact - not understanding how it is bashing.

It's not a fact at all. It implies there is something inherently worse about daycare. A bad nanny can be terrible and definitely worse than a good daycare. The disconnect is you think daycare is always bad, and it's not. It's often the choice that works best for a family not just because of cost but for other reasons too. My toddler's speech exploded when she went back to daycare after a 5 month pandemic closure.

[Anonymous]

Yes, there is something inherently worse in daycare option for babies and that is just a plain fact. Toddler or over 2 can go to daycare and yes some advantages in that, but for babies there are none. We are not comparing day cares and "bad' nannies here, we are assuming a great nanny since there is not point in hiring a bad one lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, there is something inherently worse in daycare option for babies and that is just a plain fact. Toddler or over 2 can go to daycare and yes some advantages in that, but for babies there are none. We are not comparing day cares and "bad' nannies here, we are assuming a great nanny since there is not point in hiring a bad one lol

That is your opinion. It is not a fact.

[Anonymous]

4 months is great. Our twins started a little after 3 months. It’s been wonderful. They’re super socialized, don’t have stranger danger, ahead on their milestone, and genuinely light up at drop off and pick up because they love seeing their teachers at drop off and us at pick up. I’m convinced they’re learning so quickly because they’re mimicking the kids in their class who are a few months older. Also, not everyone enjoys being home with a kid all day, so it isn’t healthy for anyone if your kiddo is at home all day with someone who would rather be elsewhere.