DD not excited about any of her options

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:None of the OOS are appealing enough to pay double. JMU is a great option. I agree it's anxiety more than anything. I especially hear many girls go through this spring before college.

https://www.sarahkipnestherapy.com/blog/is-your-teen-anxious-about-college


You don’t know anything about their finances or whether their student got a merit scholarship.


She's not getting merit with a 3.5 weighted and no test scores. And OP said nothing about merit.
Anonymous
I know many smart and interesting people who have graduated from IU! She should go there!
Anonymous
My oldest was not excited about any options either, and even turned down some really great schools and seemed to choose randomly. In the end, he loved his college experience, made great friends and is happy with his career.

Your daughter has many good choices, and she will come around too because wherever she decides to go she will be with new friends who also chose that school, and her esteem for them will make her realize that she is in a good place.
Anonymous
Congrats to your DD on some great options.

My DS is similar. He only had a 3.0 when applying. He did submit his SAT score since it was good considering his GPA (1380). He’s at a competitive NJ public (there are several Ivy acceptances and 6 kids to NYU so far this year). But also—plenty of kids going to less selective schools. Including 2 girls choosing JMU OOS for what it’s worth.

He is waiting on a couple things still but has some great options and has shown no excitement at all about any of them. Accepted to U Denver last week. Accepted to UConn last night (a school he visited already and loved the campus). Accepted Miami of OH. Just kind of shrugged at the news.

I think a couple of things are going on that may also be true for your DD. One is just general anxiety about leaving home (he was not opposed to applying far away, but commented how “far” U Denver is once he was accepted). Another is maybe lack of enthusiasm about continuing his education in general, when parts of high school were difficult. Concern about fitting in. And then similar to your DD, no real “dream school”. Although unlike your DD, he’s not paying attention to other kids’ acceptances (and his friends are not the Ivy+ crowd).

I disagree with others encouraging application last minute to some rolling admission schools. Those schools aren’t better than your DD’s current options, and I don’t see why she’d be more excited about Temple, for example, than the schools you mentioned (I’ve visited Temple).

Sounds like you are planning to visit all her choices, which is great. She may click with one. She may not. If she’s still unsure, have her make a pros/cons list for the top couple of options. See if the guidance counselor can set up a call with a HS alumnus who is a current student at these universities, or a friend’s kid if you know one, to talk to her (my older DS did this and it helped him decide between 2 schools). Once she’s made her decision, buy her some swag so she can start to get excited.

I’ve definitely known of kids attending their “dream school” and having tough first semesters/years (sometimes transferring). Lower expectations are not always a bad thing, she may be pleasantly surprised.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just here to say: ignore the jerks here. Your daughter earned a 3.5 in a competitive school district. She got in to a ton of great schools. She has a great future ahead of her, as she has already learned how to persevere after a rough start and keep striving for improvement. Wishing her every happiness and continued success in college. (And I agree with the counselor who recommended JMU.)


agree. I am surprised (or maybe shouldn't be?) by rude comments on this thread


+1

Absolutely ignore the jerks - a 3.5 is a B+ student! Congrats to your daughter on her amazing acceptances and for turning things around after a rough freshman year! I agree with all the positive comments here...and I think after she vists and learns more about each school a good fit will become more apparent! Congratulations! Onward and upward!!!
Anonymous
Just be there for her and let her make her decision.

Part of it might be she's nervous about leaving home and worried about college in general.

Not everyone has a dream school. Unfortunately there is a lot of pressure to have that magic feeling the second you set foot on campus. Plenty of students never get it, but still pick a school, go and have a fine time, graduate and live a full life as adults.

It's just college.
Anonymous
What are some of the smaller schools? I wouldn’t write those off. They may be more supportive and she’d be a bigger fish in a smaller pond and make better connections with professors and peers. She should visit some.
Anonymous
Well I am excited for your DD.

She should go to IU. Coming off their amazing football season, one Saturday in Bloomington next fall will confirm for her that she is lucky to spend 4 years in an amazing place. She does not have to be in Kelley to have a great experience.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:What will she major in if not business?

How much of a homebody/mommy's girl/daddy's girl is she?

MSU is local to me. It can be hard to transfer into the business school. I've known kids that left MSU because they couldn't make the transfer. Indiana is probably stricter.


This was my post and I'm still interested in the answers. IU and MSU are good schools that offer solid academic programs and an enjoyable social experience. My kid applied to both and was accepted to both. However, we live in the Midwest.

I do feel that it's problematic that OP's kid will likely not be able to pursue the major OP thinks they would like most at MSU and IU.

I also, in parent times, at Penn State freshman year, had a DMV roommate who wished her parents had let her go to JMU.

The reason I asked if OP's kid was a homebody is because if the kid doesn't perk up and enjoy freshman year, things will be more easily fixed if she can go home for a few more weekends or parents can drive down for a cheer-up session. I myself transferred from Penn State after freshman year. My roommate who had wanted to go to JMU returned to Penn State.

IU and MSU are fine choices but I lean towards JMU for this kid based on what seems to be greater possibility of accessing the desired major, proximity to home, and likely lower cost.
Anonymous
Has she visited IU? Have heard nothing but good things.

Fwiw DC got into his first choice ED and has not acted interested or excited about it. He's a little burned out and seems to think it's just another box to check and a bridge to cross once he gets there. To agree with some other PPs, this also is a kid who does not like change and is not eager to leave home. We're hoping he'll feel at least a little more enthusiastic after admitted students day.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She's lucky she got into so many good schools. Beggars can't be choosers. If she wanted better she should have worked harder. Every one of them would be fine -- and fun.


Go f yourself.

Take your meds.


Chill man. I think you forgot your meds. This is a forum and everyone has a right to their opinions.

I agree. Mid grades. Test optional. You get what you get and don’t be upset.

Indiana is overrated. Most kids I know who got in are mid students. These are not the 4.0 with 1500 SAT kids.


Indiana is UNDERRATED.

High acceptance school with a few top ranked programs (business, music, journalism, Hamilton Lugar school).

Gorgeous campus that is prettier than any I have seen. Lovely quintessential college town. Steps from campus. Music humming out of bars, beautiful trees and pathways, friendly vibes, noise spilling out…there is something very special about IU.


+1


DP. That’s pretty typical for a many of the Big10 schools. One major drawback to Indiana is that it’s surrounded by corn fields and rural towns. Indy is about an hour away but that’s not really an exciting city either (though much better than it used to be, I’ll admit). Do Indiana students still party in the corn fields? That was definitely a thing.

That hasn’t been a thing in the 21st century.
And it was Indiana State.


It did happen at Indiana. Had many friends who went there.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She's lucky she got into so many good schools. Beggars can't be choosers. If she wanted better she should have worked harder. Every one of them would be fine -- and fun.


Go f yourself.

Take your meds.


Chill man. I think you forgot your meds. This is a forum and everyone has a right to their opinions.

I agree. Mid grades. Test optional. You get what you get and don’t be upset.

Indiana is overrated. Most kids I know who got in are mid students. These are not the 4.0 with 1500 SAT kids.


Indiana is UNDERRATED.

High acceptance school with a few top ranked programs (business, music, journalism, Hamilton Lugar school).

Gorgeous campus that is prettier than any I have seen. Lovely quintessential college town. Steps from campus. Music humming out of bars, beautiful trees and pathways, friendly vibes, noise spilling out…there is something very special about IU.


+1


DP. That’s pretty typical for a many of the Big10 schools. One major drawback to Indiana is that it’s surrounded by corn fields and rural towns. Indy is about an hour away but that’s not really an exciting city either (though much better than it used to be, I’ll admit). Do Indiana students still party in the corn fields? That was definitely a thing.

That hasn’t been a thing in the 21st century.
And it was Indiana State.


It did happen at Indiana. Had many friends who went there.


If you want to make cornfield jokes, my kids are still joking about the on-campus "nation's first experimental cornfield" at Illinois Champaign-Urbana. I took my kids there to see the school. My great-grandfather was a professor there. And my grandma and grandpa got degrees there.

It seemed like a lot of other Midwest flagships but that one small patch set my kids off. It's about 5 minutes walk past the main historical quad area.
Anonymous
Having had two kids go through the college applications process I will share that most kids go through a "grass is always greener" phase with acceptances, even those who got into their ED or "first choice". Once they start hearing about who got in where, many start wishing they got in somewhere different.

Use the admitted students days to pump up your child and get them excited about the good things about the school. And honestly, a bunch of my kid's friends transferred between freshman and sophomore year in college so it is an option if your student is truly miserable.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I don't think anybody is being a jerk. No one is putting the schools down. We're saying, in fact, she's lucky to have gotten into most of them. And yea, they might not but "dream" schools, but "dream" schools aren't available to 3.5s who apply test optional.


You know, I was with you until your last sentence. One of those schools (JMU) was, in fact, my DC’s dream school and they were thrilled to have gotten in.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She's lucky she got into so many good schools. Beggars can't be choosers. If she wanted better she should have worked harder. Every one of them would be fine -- and fun.


Go f yourself.

Take your meds.


Chill man. I think you forgot your meds. This is a forum and everyone has a right to their opinions.

I agree. Mid grades. Test optional. You get what you get and don’t be upset.

Indiana is overrated. Most kids I know who got in are mid students. These are not the 4.0 with 1500 SAT kids.


Indiana is UNDERRATED.

High acceptance school with a few top ranked programs (business, music, journalism, Hamilton Lugar school).

Gorgeous campus that is prettier than any I have seen. Lovely quintessential college town. Steps from campus. Music humming out of bars, beautiful trees and pathways, friendly vibes, noise spilling out…there is something very special about IU.


+1


DP. That’s pretty typical for a many of the Big10 schools. One major drawback to Indiana is that it’s surrounded by corn fields and rural towns. Indy is about an hour away but that’s not really an exciting city either (though much better than it used to be, I’ll admit). Do Indiana students still party in the corn fields? That was definitely a thing.

That hasn’t been a thing in the 21st century.
And it was Indiana State.


It did happen at Indiana. Had many friends who went there.


Not in the 21st century it didn’t, as I said. My sister and I were both there in the early 00s. It wasn’t a thing. It was also around this time that the school got ranked one year as the top party school in the country, and it wasn’t because they were out in corn fields.

Back in the 80s though? Yeah, maybe. But that’s not relevant anymore.
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