DD not excited about any of her options

[Anonymous]

Maybe have your daughter look at the Instagram pages for students who have already committed to each school. My daughter did that and was immediately turned off (for better or worse) by the students who were commited to one school rather than to another. She ended up choosing the lower ranked school but just clicked more with the posts of kids attending it. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I feel like the college app process is sort of like planning a wedding. You spend so much time effort on it that you get really caught up on thinking the process is what’s important. For weddings, it’s the years that come after that are most important. For colleges, the truth is that the similarities between schools greatly outweigh the differences. They mostly all offer similar classes. You can find a nice group of people at any of them. And, at the end of the day, it’s just 4 hears of your life. College isn’t really defining for most people. And you really can bloom where you’re planted at any of these schools. Your attitude towards it has much, much, much more effect on your experience than does the differences between schools.

[Anonymous]

IU admissions staff spends their free time pumping up IU on here apparently.

[Anonymous]

If she wants to go into general business/ marketing, just go to the least expensive school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like the college app process is sort of like planning a wedding. You spend so much time effort on it that you get really caught up on thinking the process is what’s important. For weddings, it’s the years that come after that are most important. For colleges, the truth is that the similarities between schools greatly outweigh the differences. They mostly all offer similar classes. You can find a nice group of people at any of them. And, at the end of the day, it’s just 4 hears of your life. College isn’t really defining for most people. And you really can bloom where you’re planted at any of these schools. Your attitude towards it has much, much, much more effect on your experience than does the differences between schools.

Amen to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congrats to your DD on some great options.

My DS is similar. He only had a 3.0 when applying. He did submit his SAT score since it was good considering his GPA (1380). He’s at a competitive NJ public (there are several Ivy acceptances and 6 kids to NYU so far this year). But also—plenty of kids going to less selective schools. Including 2 girls choosing JMU OOS for what it’s worth.

He is waiting on a couple things still but has some great options and has shown no excitement at all about any of them. Accepted to U Denver last week. Accepted to UConn last night (a school he visited already and loved the campus). Accepted Miami of OH. Just kind of shrugged at the news.

I think a couple of things are going on that may also be true for your DD. One is just general anxiety about leaving home (he was not opposed to applying far away, but commented how “far” U Denver is once he was accepted). Another is maybe lack of enthusiasm about continuing his education in general, when parts of high school were difficult. Concern about fitting in. And then similar to your DD, no real “dream school”. Although unlike your DD, he’s not paying attention to other kids’ acceptances (and his friends are not the Ivy+ crowd).

I disagree with others encouraging application last minute to some rolling admission schools. Those schools aren’t better than your DD’s current options, and I don’t see why she’d be more excited about Temple, for example, than the schools you mentioned (I’ve visited Temple).

Sounds like you are planning to visit all her choices, which is great. She may click with one. She may not. If she’s still unsure, have her make a pros/cons list for the top couple of options. See if the guidance counselor can set up a call with a HS alumnus who is a current student at these universities, or a friend’s kid if you know one, to talk to her (my older DS did this and it helped him decide between 2 schools). Once she’s made her decision, buy her some swag so she can start to get excited.

I’ve definitely known of kids attending their “dream school” and having tough first semesters/years (sometimes transferring). Lower expectations are not always a bad thing, she may be pleasantly surprised.

I'm not the OP, but my kids graduated from one of the high schools she says hers went to. Your comment is a good example of why sometimes it's so annoying to have posters weigh in from outside the DMV. You just don't get the dynamics at play here. OP's kid attends a "UVA or bust" school. Your kid doesn't attend a "Rutgers or bust" school. Your kids routinely go out of state and JMU is a popular option. Where OP's kid goes to high school, JMU to many still stands for "Just Missed UVA."

Or maybe it is a healthier perspective than kids at DCUM schools should consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's lucky she got into so many good schools. Beggars can't be choosers. If she wanted better she should have worked harder. Every one of them would be fine -- and fun.

Go f yourself.

Take your meds.

Chill man. I think you forgot your meds. This is a forum and everyone has a right to their opinions.

I agree. Mid grades. Test optional. You get what you get and don’t be upset.

Indiana is overrated. Most kids I know who got in are mid students. These are not the 4.0 with 1500 SAT kids.

Indiana is UNDERRATED.

High acceptance school with a few top ranked programs (business, music, journalism, Hamilton Lugar school).

Gorgeous campus that is prettier than any I have seen. Lovely quintessential college town. Steps from campus. Music humming out of bars, beautiful trees and pathways, friendly vibes, noise spilling out…there is something very special about IU.

+1

DP. That’s pretty typical for a many of the Big10 schools. One major drawback to Indiana is that it’s surrounded by corn fields and rural towns. Indy is about an hour away but that’s not really an exciting city either (though much better than it used to be, I’ll admit). Do Indiana students still party in the corn fields? That was definitely a thing.

That hasn’t been a thing in the 21st century.

And it was Indiana State.

It did happen at Indiana. Had many friends who went there.

Not in the 21st century it didn’t, as I said. My sister and I were both there in the early 00s. It wasn’t a thing. It was also around this time that the school got ranked one year as the top party school in the country, and it wasn’t because they were out in corn fields.

Back in the 80s though? Yeah, maybe. But that’s not relevant anymore.

So because you and your sister didn’t do it or know people who did,it never happened? My friends who were also there in the early 00s say differently. Sounds like you had different experiences…which makes sense given how large the school is.

And that’s really the larger point for OP: large schools provide a variety of opportunities for all types of students. Her DD will have plenty of choices at IU, or MSU or wherever, about how to spend her time regardless of whatever happened in the early 00s. However, if the surrounding area outside of the college town is an important consideration, it’s worth noting how rural Indiana as a state really is.

[Anonymous]

Op,

Where did you and your husband go to school and what are your careers?

Is your kid suddenly waking up and realizing there is a big chance they are going to be downwardly mobile compared to you and won’t be able to have the same life of living in McLean/langley/yorktown as you gave her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congrats to your DD on some great options.

My DS is similar. He only had a 3.0 when applying. He did submit his SAT score since it was good considering his GPA (1380). He’s at a competitive NJ public (there are several Ivy acceptances and 6 kids to NYU so far this year). But also—plenty of kids going to less selective schools. Including 2 girls choosing JMU OOS for what it’s worth.

He is waiting on a couple things still but has some great options and has shown no excitement at all about any of them. Accepted to U Denver last week. Accepted to UConn last night (a school he visited already and loved the campus). Accepted Miami of OH. Just kind of shrugged at the news.

I think a couple of things are going on that may also be true for your DD. One is just general anxiety about leaving home (he was not opposed to applying far away, but commented how “far” U Denver is once he was accepted). Another is maybe lack of enthusiasm about continuing his education in general, when parts of high school were difficult. Concern about fitting in. And then similar to your DD, no real “dream school”. Although unlike your DD, he’s not paying attention to other kids’ acceptances (and his friends are not the Ivy+ crowd).

I disagree with others encouraging application last minute to some rolling admission schools. Those schools aren’t better than your DD’s current options, and I don’t see why she’d be more excited about Temple, for example, than the schools you mentioned (I’ve visited Temple).

Sounds like you are planning to visit all her choices, which is great. She may click with one. She may not. If she’s still unsure, have her make a pros/cons list for the top couple of options. See if the guidance counselor can set up a call with a HS alumnus who is a current student at these universities, or a friend’s kid if you know one, to talk to her (my older DS did this and it helped him decide between 2 schools). Once she’s made her decision, buy her some swag so she can start to get excited.

I’ve definitely known of kids attending their “dream school” and having tough first semesters/years (sometimes transferring). Lower expectations are not always a bad thing, she may be pleasantly surprised.

I'm not the OP, but my kids graduated from one of the high schools she says hers went to. Your comment is a good example of why sometimes it's so annoying to have posters weigh in from outside the DMV. You just don't get the dynamics at play here. OP's kid attends a "UVA or bust" school. Your kid doesn't attend a "Rutgers or bust" school. Your kids routinely go out of state and JMU is a popular option. Where OP's kid goes to high school, JMU to many still stands for "Just Missed UVA."

Or maybe it is a healthier perspective than kids at DCUM schools should consider.

DP. Agree with this. People in the DMV are pretty entitled and snobby, and after living here for 20 years, I still can’t figure out why. Instead of working to change the dynamics and foster a healthier way of thinking, parents play into it and so do their kids.

To be fair, the “x school or bust” concept exists elsewhere but not to the same degree it does here. No wonder kids are having so many metal health challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congrats to your DD on some great options.

My DS is similar. He only had a 3.0 when applying. He did submit his SAT score since it was good considering his GPA (1380). He’s at a competitive NJ public (there are several Ivy acceptances and 6 kids to NYU so far this year). But also—plenty of kids going to less selective schools. Including 2 girls choosing JMU OOS for what it’s worth.

He is waiting on a couple things still but has some great options and has shown no excitement at all about any of them. Accepted to U Denver last week. Accepted to UConn last night (a school he visited already and loved the campus). Accepted Miami of OH. Just kind of shrugged at the news.

I think a couple of things are going on that may also be true for your DD. One is just general anxiety about leaving home (he was not opposed to applying far away, but commented how “far” U Denver is once he was accepted). Another is maybe lack of enthusiasm about continuing his education in general, when parts of high school were difficult. Concern about fitting in. And then similar to your DD, no real “dream school”. Although unlike your DD, he’s not paying attention to other kids’ acceptances (and his friends are not the Ivy+ crowd).

I disagree with others encouraging application last minute to some rolling admission schools. Those schools aren’t better than your DD’s current options, and I don’t see why she’d be more excited about Temple, for example, than the schools you mentioned (I’ve visited Temple).

Sounds like you are planning to visit all her choices, which is great. She may click with one. She may not. If she’s still unsure, have her make a pros/cons list for the top couple of options. See if the guidance counselor can set up a call with a HS alumnus who is a current student at these universities, or a friend’s kid if you know one, to talk to her (my older DS did this and it helped him decide between 2 schools). Once she’s made her decision, buy her some swag so she can start to get excited.

I’ve definitely known of kids attending their “dream school” and having tough first semesters/years (sometimes transferring). Lower expectations are not always a bad thing, she may be pleasantly surprised.

I'm not the OP, but my kids graduated from one of the high schools she says hers went to. Your comment is a good example of why sometimes it's so annoying to have posters weigh in from outside the DMV. You just don't get the dynamics at play here. OP's kid attends a "UVA or bust" school. Your kid doesn't attend a "Rutgers or bust" school. Your kids routinely go out of state and JMU is a popular option. Where OP's kid goes to high school, JMU to many still stands for "Just Missed UVA."

Or maybe it is a healthier perspective than kids at DCUM schools should consider.

DP. Agree with this. People in the DMV are pretty entitled and snobby, and after living here for 20 years, I still can’t figure out why. Instead of working to change the dynamics and foster a healthier way of thinking, parents play into it and so do their kids.

To be fair, the “x school or bust” concept exists elsewhere but not to the same degree it does here. No wonder kids are having so many metal health challenges.

It’s because people in dmv are successful but it’s not like “car dealer success” where you can just give your business to your kid

Lots of umc people here have great jobs but not enough money to give away generational wealth to the next gen nor jobs those kids can inherit.

So dc parents are rightfully worried about their kids being downwardly mobile

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congrats to your DD on some great options.

My DS is similar. He only had a 3.0 when applying. He did submit his SAT score since it was good considering his GPA (1380). He’s at a competitive NJ public (there are several Ivy acceptances and 6 kids to NYU so far this year). But also—plenty of kids going to less selective schools. Including 2 girls choosing JMU OOS for what it’s worth.

He is waiting on a couple things still but has some great options and has shown no excitement at all about any of them. Accepted to U Denver last week. Accepted to UConn last night (a school he visited already and loved the campus). Accepted Miami of OH. Just kind of shrugged at the news.

I think a couple of things are going on that may also be true for your DD. One is just general anxiety about leaving home (he was not opposed to applying far away, but commented how “far” U Denver is once he was accepted). Another is maybe lack of enthusiasm about continuing his education in general, when parts of high school were difficult. Concern about fitting in. And then similar to your DD, no real “dream school”. Although unlike your DD, he’s not paying attention to other kids’ acceptances (and his friends are not the Ivy+ crowd).

I disagree with others encouraging application last minute to some rolling admission schools. Those schools aren’t better than your DD’s current options, and I don’t see why she’d be more excited about Temple, for example, than the schools you mentioned (I’ve visited Temple).

Sounds like you are planning to visit all her choices, which is great. She may click with one. She may not. If she’s still unsure, have her make a pros/cons list for the top couple of options. See if the guidance counselor can set up a call with a HS alumnus who is a current student at these universities, or a friend’s kid if you know one, to talk to her (my older DS did this and it helped him decide between 2 schools). Once she’s made her decision, buy her some swag so she can start to get excited.

I’ve definitely known of kids attending their “dream school” and having tough first semesters/years (sometimes transferring). Lower expectations are not always a bad thing, she may be pleasantly surprised.

I'm not the OP, but my kids graduated from one of the high schools she says hers went to. Your comment is a good example of why sometimes it's so annoying to have posters weigh in from outside the DMV. You just don't get the dynamics at play here. OP's kid attends a "UVA or bust" school. Your kid doesn't attend a "Rutgers or bust" school. Your kids routinely go out of state and JMU is a popular option. Where OP's kid goes to high school, JMU to many still stands for "Just Missed UVA."

Or maybe it is a healthier perspective than kids at DCUM schools should consider.

Maybe. But that’s entirely beside the point. You can’t tell OP’s kid how she’s supposed to think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's lucky she got into so many good schools. Beggars can't be choosers. If she wanted better she should have worked harder. Every one of them would be fine -- and fun.

Go f yourself.

Take your meds.

Chill man. I think you forgot your meds. This is a forum and everyone has a right to their opinions.

I agree. Mid grades. Test optional. You get what you get and don’t be upset.

Indiana is overrated. Most kids I know who got in are mid students. These are not the 4.0 with 1500 SAT kids.

Indiana is UNDERRATED.

High acceptance school with a few top ranked programs (business, music, journalism, Hamilton Lugar school).

Gorgeous campus that is prettier than any I have seen. Lovely quintessential college town. Steps from campus. Music humming out of bars, beautiful trees and pathways, friendly vibes, noise spilling out…there is something very special about IU.

+1

DP. That’s pretty typical for a many of the Big10 schools. One major drawback to Indiana is that it’s surrounded by corn fields and rural towns. Indy is about an hour away but that’s not really an exciting city either (though much better than it used to be, I’ll admit). Do Indiana students still party in the corn fields? That was definitely a thing.

That hasn’t been a thing in the 21st century.

And it was Indiana State.

It did happen at Indiana. Had many friends who went there.

Not in the 21st century it didn’t, as I said. My sister and I were both there in the early 00s. It wasn’t a thing. It was also around this time that the school got ranked one year as the top party school in the country, and it wasn’t because they were out in corn fields.

Back in the 80s though? Yeah, maybe. But that’s not relevant anymore.

So because you and your sister didn’t do it or know people who did,it never happened? My friends who were also there in the early 00s say differently. Sounds like you had different experiences…which makes sense given how large the school is.

And that’s really the larger point for OP: large schools provide a variety of opportunities for all types of students. Her DD will have plenty of choices at IU, or MSU or wherever, about how to spend her time regardless of whatever happened in the early 00s. However, if the surrounding area outside of the college town is an important consideration, it’s worth noting how rural Indiana as a state really is.

Your friends weren’t there in the 00s. :lol: How convenient for your argument to make up they were there at the exact same time.

It’s not just that the two of us were there. We had tons of friends there, both people we met and people from our high school since we grew up in Indiana. People in classes across a range of departments and schools. Study abroad programs, etc. It just wasn’t a thing. It doesn’t even make sense - the Greek scene is huge, the bar scene is huge, house parties are everywhere, and farms are well out of the way. You could spend four years there and never see a farm except for coming into and going out of Bloomington going to and returning from breaks. It just isn’t relevant for a prospective student.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you revisit schools, make sure you (discreetly) include for the first couple visits, any that you consider best matches. Enthusiasm may wane. Of course if she has enthusiasm to see a particular one first, that might be significant. DD had several admittances to colleges without seeing them first. When she kept insisting she was "too busy" to visit once admitted, we had our answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are visiting the schools. We are on a visit to one of these schools now and this is when she finally confessed how she feels, in tears.

For those who are telling us she should have worked harder, thanks for that unhelpful advice. She had a rough freshman year grades-wise and it’s been hard to recover. She knows it too.

My DS is in the same position, and people act like it's catching. Your DD has some good choices (as does my DS). While I think my DS could have worked harder in HS, I also think that he doesn't want to be in that rat race, and the schools that he got into are better choices for him[b] than higher ranked schools.

It's hard for our kids to leave home. Just keep encouraging your DD. Good luck to you both!

This is an important perspective. My kid was also burnt out from the pressure and rat race tract is high school around here. She choose her lowest ranked school (out if 7 acceptances, all with merit aid). It turned out very well for her to be a big fish in a small pond. Professors really noticed her. She got prestigious internships/awards. I don’t think that would have happened if she had been surrounded by status-conscious strivers.

She knew what she needed. 👏🏼

Have faith.

[Anonymous]

Those are solid schools - and Indiana is going to be a lot more applications now with the football title. Don't do the 2+2 for PSU, but if they offer starting in the summer at UP, then that is a great option.