DD not excited about any of her options

[Anonymous]

Your daughter got into great colleges.

She’s not looking at her college list in a healthy way. You need to look into that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter got into great colleges.

She’s not looking at her college list in a healthy way. You need to look into that.

+1
She actually sounds pretty spoiled. Those are all great schools to choose from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter got into great colleges.

She’s not looking at her college list in a healthy way. You need to look into that.

+1
She actually sounds pretty spoiled. Those are all great schools to choose from.

I am not going to read any of the comments. I'll just look at the list of schools she got in. I see. I see. Yep. She's spoiled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of the OOS are appealing enough to pay double. JMU is a great option. I agree it's anxiety more than anything. I especially hear many girls go through this spring before college.

https://www.sarahkipnestherapy.com/blog/is-your-teen-anxious-about-college

No, it isn't anxiety. She went to Yorktown/McLean/Langley. She's embarrassed by her choices. That's what's driving this. And she will get over it.

That’s bull. More kids in that area are going to colleges just like the ones she’s looking at. There aren’t even any top rated private schools or feeder schools.

No public school sends the majority of students to Ivy League or even top ten.

You're not from the DMV and you don't understand the mindset at those three schools. It's very obvious.

DP - I am from the DMV. Not everyone has that mindset.
Lots of Yorktown students go to JMU. And Indiana is growing in popularity.

God you people are obtuse.

You're not from Yorktown/McLean/Langley

Yes, lot of Yorktown students go to JMU. That doesn't mean they want to. It's a pressure cooker kind of school. A UVA or bust school. There's a lot of disappointment and feeling like a failure if you're not UVA, W&M, or a top private. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying it's what it is.

I KNOW that that is what is eating at OP's kid. There's nothing wrong with any of the schools the kid got into other than the fact that, where she is about to graduate from, they're not schools that anybody brags about. She's embarrassed. Rightly or wrongly, she is. But she'll get over it.

OMG. Talk about obtuse! You are totally making up an attitude that does.not.exist. The kids who go to JMU LOVE it - no one is embarrassed. Get over yourself. You seem to be a problematic person, making up these narratives that simply don't exist.
DP

Why are you being so defensive? I never said that kids who go to JMU don't love it. In fact, I know they do. I know a million kids who went to JMU and have no regrets. It's a great school.

What I said is that, for many kids who attend Yorktown/McLean/Langley, having their college acceptances top out at JMU is a disappointment AT THE TIME. We are talking about competitive high schools with pushy parents and high achieving kids, with many gunning for highly ranked colleges. Yes, in the end they will all discover that it doesn't really matter and that a few years down the road nobody will care where you went to college. But that's not what many kids and parents are thinking AT THE TIME.

I remain convinced that that is the primary driver behind OP's daughter not being "excited" about her college options. They're not instagram worthy. But, again, she'll get over it.

USNWR ranking started this mess. Parents become obsessed with it and then it trickles down to the kids. The best thing the OP should do is reassure their kid that she is loved and that they believe in her. The rankings are bullshXX!

UVA has always been the Holy Grail in NOVA high schools. Even before the rankings.

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Bless your heart. No it hasn’t.

Can we stop with the misogynistic put downs? Thanks.

What? "Bless your heart" is an equal-opportunity put down. It has nothing to do with women. :roll:

NP. It's a stupid expression and I only hear this on DCUM. Did your grandma use to say it all the time?

[Anonymous]

There's another thread called "dilemma" that posters from outside the DMV might want to take a look at. It confirms everything I've said on this thread about OP's daughter's thinking not being uncommon around here.

[Anonymous]

OK, I haven't read all the comments, either. I wonder if she would benefit from talking to someone who is somewhat removed from the situation -- not a parent, not her guidance counselor, DEFINITELY not her friends. Maybe a friend of mom of dad's who she likes? She needs a hype person. Those are great schools and it seems like she's just a bit deflated from hearing where other people got in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD has applied broadly to 10+ schools and is more of an average student (3.5w in NoVa, test optional), and has gotten some great acceptances (in my book) but is not really in love with any of them.

She would ideally be a business or marketing major but did not apply to the business school at most college because it was more competitive.

Her current choices are: JMU, Michigan state, Indiana, college of Charleston, and is requesting review to main campus at Penn state. (Accepted to 2+2).

She is not really interested in some of the smaller schools we looked at.

How can I help her come to terms with the fact that there may be no “dream” school for her? Also she does not want to take a gap year or go to NOVA and then transfer.

I mean...those are good options for her. My daughter has a 4.6 weighted GPA at MCPS and is going to Indiana at the business school there in the fall. It's her #1 school. I think your kid needs perspective and get out of her bubble a little bit. Where did your daughter want to go?

[Anonymous]

We have two boys. Both of them weren't super excited about the whole process. Had to beg boy 1 to make a decision. He got into all of his schools. Ended up not picking his first choice. Worked out. Loves it. He apparently knew what he wanted. Boy two got into all but the school his older brother goes to. That wasn't his first choice initially, but it became his first choice after visiting his brother a few times. So, he is still dealing with the sting of rejection. He has two opposite but amazing choices. One is an awesome SLAC and the other is our flagship. But still can't commit. I think it is because so many of his friends haven't decided yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are visiting the schools. We are on a visit to one of these schools now and this is when she finally confessed how she feels, in tears.

For those who are telling us she should have worked harder, thanks for that unhelpful advice. She had a rough freshman year grades-wise and it’s been hard to recover. She knows it too.

My DS is in the same position, and people act like it's catching. Your DD has some good choices (as does my DS). While I think my DS could have worked harder in HS, I also think that he doesn't want to be in that rat race, and the schools that he got into are better choices for him[b] than higher ranked schools.

It's hard for our kids to leave home. Just keep encouraging your DD. Good luck to you both!

Colleges aren't going to hold a "rough freshman year grades-wise" against any student who bounces back.

Yeah, not true.

My kid's rough year was sophomore year. He was dealing with depression and completely fell apart academically. He definitely paid the price in terms of GPA and got rejected from some large schools that probably don't look too far beyond GPA. But, he's doing well mentally, and we are grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are visiting the schools. We are on a visit to one of these schools now and this is when she finally confessed how she feels, in tears.

For those who are telling us she should have worked harder, thanks for that unhelpful advice. She had a rough freshman year grades-wise and it’s been hard to recover. She knows it too.

My DS is in the same position, and people act like it's catching. Your DD has some good choices (as does my DS). While I think my DS could have worked harder in HS, I also think that he doesn't want to be in that rat race, and the schools that he got into are better choices for him[b] than higher ranked schools.

It's hard for our kids to leave home. Just keep encouraging your DD. Good luck to you both!

Colleges aren't going to hold a "rough freshman year grades-wise" against any student who bounces back.

Yeah, not true.

My kid's rough year was sophomore year. He was dealing with depression and completely fell apart academically. He definitely paid the price in terms of GPA and got rejected from some large schools that probably don't look too far beyond GPA. But, he's doing well mentally, and we are grateful.

Learn to read.

I said "freshman." I didn't say "sophomore." And yes, there's a difference.

[Anonymous]

OP - Try Clemson.

She will get in - even if the deadline has passed.

Its a great school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - Try Clemson.

She will get in - even if the deadline has passed.

Its a great school.

No way is this happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD has applied broadly to 10+ schools and is more of an average student (3.5w in NoVa, test optional), and has gotten some great acceptances (in my book) but is not really in love with any of them.

She would ideally be a business or marketing major but did not apply to the business school at most college because it was more competitive.

Her current choices are: JMU, Michigan state, Indiana, college of Charleston, and is requesting review to main campus at Penn state. (Accepted to 2+2).

She is not really interested in some of the smaller schools we looked at.

How can I help her come to terms with the fact that there may be no “dream” school for her? Also she does not want to take a gap year or go to NOVA and then transfer.

Son went there. He picked it during admitted student's visit. Loved his time there. Graduated from the business school, now works at a FAANG. All of these threads talking about kids struggling to get jobs after college--didn't seem to have that problem. He's making six figures two years out.

I do think MSU gets a weird amount of hate here, but it is DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are visiting the schools. We are on a visit to one of these schools now and this is when she finally confessed how she feels, in tears.

For those who are telling us she should have worked harder, thanks for that unhelpful advice. She had a rough freshman year grades-wise and it’s been hard to recover. She knows it too.

My DS is in the same position, and people act like it's catching. Your DD has some good choices (as does my DS). While I think my DS could have worked harder in HS, I also think that he doesn't want to be in that rat race, and the schools that he got into are better choices for him[b] than higher ranked schools.

It's hard for our kids to leave home. Just keep encouraging your DD. Good luck to you both!

Colleges aren't going to hold a "rough freshman year grades-wise" against any student who bounces back.

Yeah, not true.

My kid's rough year was sophomore year. He was dealing with depression and completely fell apart academically. He definitely paid the price in terms of GPA and got rejected from some large schools that probably don't look too far beyond GPA. But, he's doing well mentally, and we are grateful.

Learn to read.

I said "freshman." I didn't say "sophomore." And yes, there's a difference.

You seem nice.

[Anonymous]

I think these are great choices. I hope she comes around. I am sure this is a stressful time for these kids. My son is a freshman. He grades are awful. I don't think he can understand the consequences just now, but hopefully it turns into a life lesson. I'd be thrilled with that list!

Good Luck.