Not inviting kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Talk to your brother. He's a typical clueless newlywed, doesn't know about the breastfeeding, and probably doesn't care. There are many like him!

Kids make weddings so joyful and spontaneous, and I wanted all my baby relatives at my wedding! But I grudgingly accept that others might not share this love of multi-generational gatherings. It's his call, in the end.

Ok. Thanks for acknowledging that crying babies in the wedding aren't universal signs of joy.

PP you replied to. I have never attended a wedding where a baby cried. And I have attended MANY weddings, ALL of which were kid-centric.

Blows your little mind, doesn't it?

Lucky you. Our wedding video is filled with my cousin’s crying baby because neither she or her DH woukd simply get up and take the baby out.

Parents these days, as you can tell in threads like these, do not care at all about others around them. They are so blindly focused on themselves and their kids that they give no thought to the fact that others may want to hear the sermon, vows, or ceremony. It's new age narcissistic parenting.

NP. “These days,” nothing. Come off it. This happened at my oldest cousin’s wedding in the early 1980s. Her sister/sister’s husband didn’t take out their rowdy toddler who *knocked over a floral display near the altar.* Just stop. Entitled, lazy parents have been around since the dawn of time, and always will be around. It’s not about age or generation, it’s about entitled, selfish people being a constant in humanity.

Nope. I see it constantly around me. Parents won't take their kids out when it's appropriate. Their guilt around not spending much time with their kids during the week is not the marrying couple's problem when now they want to get their quality time at someone else's black tie evening party.

Wow, at least they “feel guilt.” All the Boomer parents who sent their kids outside all day and literally had to have PSAs of celebrities chastising “It’s 10 p.m., do you know where your kids are” certainly felt no guilt. They were too busy drinking, smoking and beating kids with belts as “discipline” to ever feel something as inconvenient as guilt.

So the pendulum has swung too far the other direction? That's not an improvement.

Being too permissive is, indeed, an improvement over literal beatings and neglect. If you say otherwise, you’re a bag of dirt.

The mental health of kids these days begs to differ. The kids aren't ok.

No, honey, the kids are just finally allowed to have and express feelings without being beaten for it, and people are talking about being abused or harmed instead of suffering in shame, and we now have correct medical diagnoses instead of “that kid is weird.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to your brother. He's a typical clueless newlywed, doesn't know about the breastfeeding, and probably doesn't care. There are many like him!

Kids make weddings so joyful and spontaneous, and I wanted all my baby relatives at my wedding! But I grudgingly accept that others might not share this love of multi-generational gatherings. It's his call, in the end.

Ok. Thanks for acknowledging that crying babies in the wedding aren't universal signs of joy.

PP you replied to. I have never attended a wedding where a baby cried. And I have attended MANY weddings, ALL of which were kid-centric.

Blows your little mind, doesn't it?

Lucky you. Our wedding video is filled with my cousin’s crying baby because neither she or her DH woukd simply get up and take the baby out.

Parents these days, as you can tell in threads like these, do not care at all about others around them. They are so blindly focused on themselves and their kids that they give no thought to the fact that others may want to hear the sermon, vows, or ceremony. It's new age narcissistic parenting.

NP. “These days,” nothing. Come off it. This happened at my oldest cousin’s wedding in the early 1980s. Her sister/sister’s husband didn’t take out their rowdy toddler who *knocked over a floral display near the altar.* Just stop. Entitled, lazy parents have been around since the dawn of time, and always will be around. It’s not about age or generation, it’s about entitled, selfish people being a constant in humanity.

Nope. I see it constantly around me. Parents won't take their kids out when it's appropriate. Their guilt around not spending much time with their kids during the week is not the marrying couple's problem when now they want to get their quality time at someone else's black tie evening party.

Wow, at least they “feel guilt.” All the Boomer parents who sent their kids outside all day and literally had to have PSAs of celebrities chastising “It’s 10 p.m., do you know where your kids are” certainly felt no guilt. They were too busy drinking, smoking and beating kids with belts as “discipline” to ever feel something as inconvenient as guilt.

So the pendulum has swung too far the other direction? That's not an improvement.

Being too permissive is, indeed, an improvement over literal beatings and neglect. If you say otherwise, you’re a bag of dirt.

The mental health of kids these days begs to differ. The kids aren't ok.

No, honey, the kids are just finally allowed to have and express feelings without being beaten for it, and people are talking about being abused or harmed instead of suffering in shame, and we now have correct medical diagnoses instead of “that kid is weird.”

I'm glad you think kids killing themselves is just a form of expression. How quaint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Families in the 50s and 60s:
Brother Bob is getting married! We just got invited!

Oh great. I look forward to getting dressed up for once. Who will we get to sit for the kids?

Families now apparently:
Brother Bob is getting narried. We are invited but not the kids.

Those narcissistic #@#& are hating on us! Babies are part of the family and that's that. I am going to call and give him and his slutty self centered bride a piece of my mind! It's Huey or the highway.

In the 50s and 60s weddings were nothing like the narcissistic spectacles they are these days …

OP's brother is literally having a courthouse ceremony and a nice dinner at a restaurant. Fancy restaurant meals are not kid-friendly, but they are pretty far down on the "narcissistic spectacle" scale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t you attend a local dinner? I worked FT and pumped at the office.

Good for you. Others make different choices. She doesn’t have to pump.

It’s so weird that people think a not close sibling should dictate how parents care for their very young infant. If his sister’s presence was meaningful to him, the brother could have made different choices. He’s allowed to have the weddings he wants and she can say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t you attend a local dinner? I worked FT and pumped at the office.

Good for you. Others make different choices. She doesn’t have to pump.

It’s so weird that people think a not close sibling should dictate how parents care for their very young infant. If his sister’s presence was meaningful to him, the brother could have made different choices. He’s allowed to have the weddings he wants and she can say no.

But she didn't say no. She whined to mommy to make brother change his mind.

[Anonymous]

10:01, adding, OP can attend the local event and skip the destination reception. The first one is the actual wedding, anyway. If they want a party in Europe, great, but the actual wedding seems pretty chill.

[Anonymous]

I think you are going way too far by thinking this is directed at you in any way and seeing your parents as taking his side is crazy. A local event at a restaurant is really pretty manageable to navigate if you want to, so it’s not crazy foryour brother as a childless adult to think this is fine. You just don’t want to make it work because you don’t like him that much and don’t want to deal with it.

You don’t have to go to the destination wedding. That’s totally fine. If someone gives you a hard time about that then you can complain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you are going way too far by thinking this is directed at you in any way and seeing your parents as taking his side is crazy. A local event at a restaurant is really pretty manageable to navigate if you want to, so it’s not crazy foryour brother as a childless adult to think this is fine. You just don’t want to make it work because you don’t like him that much and don’t want to deal with it.

You don’t have to go to the destination wedding. That’s totally fine. If someone gives you a hard time about that then you can complain.

I'm not sure how this wedding could be easier for OP. A dinner locally? A short court house wedding? How much simpler could this all be? Infants don't need to be a part of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You contact your brother and talk it out. Don't put your parents on the spot.

NO! You don’t do this. This isn’t about you. It’s not targeted at you. Your brother has every right to not have babies at his wedding. I have kids and babies are annoying. They can cry at random times and many people don’t want them possibly fussing at random times. It’s your right to skip the wedding. My kids are teens now and I side with your brother. I didn’t want kids at my wedding and lost to my mother, who was paying and insisted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the local dinner, I would try to get a sitter for the kids if you have an established sitter or have your DH stay with the kids. Pump so the baby has a bottle if they need it.

I would skip the destination wedding.

I would do this but I would send DH for the gossip and stay home with my babies

[Anonymous]

I was pretty aware that my nephew was going through bottle refusal around 3 to 4 months and I'm wouldn't have thought to ask my brother to leave his kid home.

Look, I'm just saying siblings with good relationships would likely talk this out. I also really didn't want my sis in law to feel left out from a family event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to your brother. He's a typical clueless newlywed, doesn't know about the breastfeeding, and probably doesn't care. There are many like him!

Kids make weddings so joyful and spontaneous, and I wanted all my baby relatives at my wedding! But I grudgingly accept that others might not share this love of multi-generational gatherings. It's his call, in the end.

Ok. Thanks for acknowledging that crying babies in the wedding aren't universal signs of joy.

PP you replied to. I have never attended a wedding where a baby cried. And I have attended MANY weddings, ALL of which were kid-centric.

Blows your little mind, doesn't it?

Lucky you. Our wedding video is filled with my cousin’s crying baby because neither she or her DH woukd simply get up and take the baby out.

Parents these days, as you can tell in threads like these, do not care at all about others around them. They are so blindly focused on themselves and their kids that they give no thought to the fact that others may want to hear the sermon, vows, or ceremony. It's new age narcissistic parenting.

NP. “These days,” nothing. Come off it. This happened at my oldest cousin’s wedding in the early 1980s. Her sister/sister’s husband didn’t take out their rowdy toddler who *knocked over a floral display near the altar.* Just stop. Entitled, lazy parents have been around since the dawn of time, and always will be around. It’s not about age or generation, it’s about entitled, selfish people being a constant in humanity.

Nope. I see it constantly around me. Parents won't take their kids out when it's appropriate. Their guilt around not spending much time with their kids during the week is not the marrying couple's problem when now they want to get their quality time at someone else's black tie evening party.

Wow, at least they “feel guilt.” All the Boomer parents who sent their kids outside all day and literally had to have PSAs of celebrities chastising “It’s 10 p.m., do you know where your kids are” certainly felt no guilt. They were too busy drinking, smoking and beating kids with belts as “discipline” to ever feel something as inconvenient as guilt.

So the pendulum has swung too far the other direction? That's not an improvement.

Being too permissive is, indeed, an improvement over literal beatings and neglect. If you say otherwise, you’re a bag of dirt.

The mental health of kids these days begs to differ. The kids aren't ok.

No, honey, the kids are just finally allowed to have and express feelings without being beaten for it, and people are talking about being abused or harmed instead of suffering in shame, and we now have correct medical diagnoses instead of “that kid is weird.”

I'm glad you think kids killing themselves is just a form of expression. How quaint.

Suicides just used to be kept secret, idiot. Shame and repression and secrets. The truth is finally being told and sunlight is shining on difficult issues and abusive Boomers can’t handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are going way too far by thinking this is directed at you in any way and seeing your parents as taking his side is crazy. A local event at a restaurant is really pretty manageable to navigate if you want to, so it’s not crazy foryour brother as a childless adult to think this is fine. You just don’t want to make it work because you don’t like him that much and don’t want to deal with it.

You don’t have to go to the destination wedding. That’s totally fine. If someone gives you a hard time about that then you can complain.

I'm not sure how this wedding could be easier for OP. A dinner locally? A short court house wedding? How much simpler could this all be? Infants don't need to be a part of this.

Seriously, this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so. Pump if you want. Sounds like you do t want to. It’s not reasonable to bring a 3 month old to a nice, small, private dinner.

Pumping in the bathroom at a restaurant is gross.

Also since baby is 1mo they may not be on a bottle yet, maybe they will be by then but it seems ridiculous to exclude your sister from the wedding celebration over this. YMMV obviously.

Pump ahead an leave a bottle for the baby was the way I read the suggestion. OP could at least drop by the local dinner if she would like to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to your brother. He's a typical clueless newlywed, doesn't know about the breastfeeding, and probably doesn't care. There are many like him!

Kids make weddings so joyful and spontaneous, and I wanted all my baby relatives at my wedding! But I grudgingly accept that others might not share this love of multi-generational gatherings. It's his call, in the end.

Ok. Thanks for acknowledging that crying babies in the wedding aren't universal signs of joy.

PP you replied to. I have never attended a wedding where a baby cried. And I have attended MANY weddings, ALL of which were kid-centric.

Blows your little mind, doesn't it?

Lucky you. Our wedding video is filled with my cousin’s crying baby because neither she or her DH woukd simply get up and take the baby out.

Parents these days, as you can tell in threads like these, do not care at all about others around them. They are so blindly focused on themselves and their kids that they give no thought to the fact that others may want to hear the sermon, vows, or ceremony. It's new age narcissistic parenting.

NP. “These days,” nothing. Come off it. This happened at my oldest cousin’s wedding in the early 1980s. Her sister/sister’s husband didn’t take out their rowdy toddler who *knocked over a floral display near the altar.* Just stop. Entitled, lazy parents have been around since the dawn of time, and always will be around. It’s not about age or generation, it’s about entitled, selfish people being a constant in humanity.

Nope. I see it constantly around me. Parents won't take their kids out when it's appropriate. Their guilt around not spending much time with their kids during the week is not the marrying couple's problem when now they want to get their quality time at someone else's black tie evening party.

Wow, at least they “feel guilt.” All the Boomer parents who sent their kids outside all day and literally had to have PSAs of celebrities chastising “It’s 10 p.m., do you know where your kids are” certainly felt no guilt. They were too busy drinking, smoking and beating kids with belts as “discipline” to ever feel something as inconvenient as guilt.

So the pendulum has swung too far the other direction? That's not an improvement.

Being too permissive is, indeed, an improvement over literal beatings and neglect. If you say otherwise, you’re a bag of dirt.

The mental health of kids these days begs to differ. The kids aren't ok.

No, honey, the kids are just finally allowed to have and express feelings without being beaten for it, and people are talking about being abused or harmed instead of suffering in shame, and we now have correct medical diagnoses instead of “that kid is weird.”

I'm glad you think kids killing themselves is just a form of expression. How quaint.

Suicides just used to be kept secret, idiot. Shame and repression and secrets. The truth is finally being told and sunlight is shining on difficult issues and abusive Boomers can’t handle it.

Well this is embarrassing for you. https://medicine.yale.edu/news-article/youth-suicide-is-on-the-rise-yale-aims-to-save-lives/

This staggering statistic corresponds with a growing rate of youth suicide in the United States, which is one of the leading causes of death in adolescents and young adults. Suicide deaths among 10- to 24-year-olds increased by 62% from 2007 to 2021. Research released this summer found that suicide is rising dramatically in preteens as young as 8 years old as well, with an 8.2% annual increase from 2008 to 2022.