Not inviting kids.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so. Pump if you want. Sounds like you do t want to. It’s not reasonable to bring a 3 month old to a nice, small, private dinner.

If this 3 month old is 100% breastfed do you have ANY idea how uncomfortable this dinner will be for the Mom? Painful. I would go to the 15 person dinner and have my husband watch the baby in a very nearby hotel so that I could excuse myself to breastfeed as needed. Skip Europe.

What in the world? Breastfeeding moms can eat in a restaurant without the baby for a dinner. And a hotel? OP lives locally to this wedding.

Local doesn't mean next door necessarily.

Right- you need to consider the transit time, etc. I would expect a wedding celebration dinner like this to go at least 2-3 hrs, this isn't a run of the mill dinner. Those first couple months of nursing were tough for me on several levels and I definitely had a couple situations where I did a "drive by" without the baby because staying longer wasn't in the cards.

But I wouldn't expect a childless couple to know this and would just say you're a "maybe" for now and will assess closer to the date.

How many 15 person wedding celebration dinners have you been to?

I've been to a couple small weddings actually, can't remember how many people exactly but in the 15-25 guest count. Was there another question?

No, I just think you have an overactive imagination. Because clearly if a dinner is 2-3 hours long it's completely inappropriate for a newborn and toddler. Which you would know if you've been to such a dinner and are a real parent.

NP. Do you even remember having a 3 month old? I brought mine to a wedding actually. I nursed under a cover and then the baby slept in her stroller the entire night. In fact, dh and I used to go out to dinner nonstop at this stage because babies are so easy to travel with. 1 year olds are awful though.

What part of no kids do you not understand? Make other arrangements? That means no hidden babies under covers if that's what the hosts asked of you. This isn't that hard.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Skip all the events. Send a card and a $50 gift card to Amazon. Sign all 4 names on the card. Done.

Only if you’re a massive overgrown toddler like this person, OP.

Trying to understand how declining and sending a gift from the family is a overgrow toddler move.

Oh yes, because you really think “a $50 Amazon gift card” is an appropriate wedding gift for anyone, let alone a sibling, in 2026. Please, girl. You, and OP, are just pissy that her kids aren’t invited, thus your tacky comment. Don’t even try it.

I appreciate any gift and thank whoever gives it. In many cases, yes, a $50 gift card is an appropriate wedding gift. Instead of attacking people who have different financial resources or traditions than you why don't you spend some time reflecting on your anger.

Why would you say a $50 card and sign all 4 names? You’re trying to be petty. Just say “send a gift” why be specific unless you’re trying to make a point with that specific gift?

Whose names should she sign?

The adults. The people who can actually sign their own names.

I would also let my toddles scribble or draw a picture on cards.

And your infant is a baby Leonardo da Vinci I'm sure. Everyone isn't as impressed with your kids as you are.

Um the point is teach you kid about gift giving and manners.

Clearly your parents didn't bother to teach you any.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the kind of couple who isn’t going to write a thank you note. Just saying…

Definitely skip the destination wedding. Go to the other one with your baby. Get a sitter for the toddler.

Well, if OP is going to spitefully sign a baby's name to the gift who wasn't invited, it doesn't really matter. Plenty of snubbing to go around.

What is wrong with some of you? What kind of aggressive, spiteful families are you from?

Making a gift from a family even if that family includes babies who can't write or didn't attend the event is not snubbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Skip all the events. Send a card and a $50 gift card to Amazon. Sign all 4 names on the card. Done.

Only if you’re a massive overgrown toddler like this person, OP.

Trying to understand how declining and sending a gift from the family is a overgrow toddler move.

Oh yes, because you really think “a $50 Amazon gift card” is an appropriate wedding gift for anyone, let alone a sibling, in 2026. Please, girl. You, and OP, are just pissy that her kids aren’t invited, thus your tacky comment. Don’t even try it.

I appreciate any gift and thank whoever gives it. In many cases, yes, a $50 gift card is an appropriate wedding gift. Instead of attacking people who have different financial resources or traditions than you why don't you spend some time reflecting on your anger.

Why would you say a $50 card and sign all 4 names? You’re trying to be petty. Just say “send a gift” why be specific unless you’re trying to make a point with that specific gift?

Because giftcards are popular gifts and gives the couple flexibility. There really isn't a specific point beyond that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Skip all the events. Send a card and a $50 gift card to Amazon. Sign all 4 names on the card. Done.

Only if you’re a massive overgrown toddler like this person, OP.

Trying to understand how declining and sending a gift from the family is a overgrow toddler move.

Oh yes, because you really think “a $50 Amazon gift card” is an appropriate wedding gift for anyone, let alone a sibling, in 2026. Please, girl. You, and OP, are just pissy that her kids aren’t invited, thus your tacky comment. Don’t even try it.

I appreciate any gift and thank whoever gives it. In many cases, yes, a $50 gift card is an appropriate wedding gift. Instead of attacking people who have different financial resources or traditions than you why don't you spend some time reflecting on your anger.

Why would you say a $50 card and sign all 4 names? You’re trying to be petty. Just say “send a gift” why be specific unless you’re trying to make a point with that specific gift?

Whose names should she sign?

The adults. The people who can actually sign their own names.

I would also let my toddles scribble or draw a picture on cards.

And your infant is a baby Leonardo da Vinci I'm sure. Everyone isn't as impressed with your kids as you are.

Um the point is teach you kid about gift giving and manners.

Clearly your parents didn't bother to teach you any.

Says the person who can't abide by the host's rules and wants to crash a wedding. You know nothing about being a gracious guest or following etiquette.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Skip all the events. Send a card and a $50 gift card to Amazon. Sign all 4 names on the card. Done.

Only if you’re a massive overgrown toddler like this person, OP.

Trying to understand how declining and sending a gift from the family is a overgrow toddler move.

Oh yes, because you really think “a $50 Amazon gift card” is an appropriate wedding gift for anyone, let alone a sibling, in 2026. Please, girl. You, and OP, are just pissy that her kids aren’t invited, thus your tacky comment. Don’t even try it.

I appreciate any gift and thank whoever gives it. In many cases, yes, a $50 gift card is an appropriate wedding gift. Instead of attacking people who have different financial resources or traditions than you why don't you spend some time reflecting on your anger.

Why would you say a $50 card and sign all 4 names? You’re trying to be petty. Just say “send a gift” why be specific unless you’re trying to make a point with that specific gift?

Whose names should she sign?

The adults. The people who can actually sign their own names.

I would also let my toddles scribble or draw a picture on cards.

And your infant is a baby Leonardo da Vinci I'm sure. Everyone isn't as impressed with your kids as you are.

Um the point is teach you kid about gift giving and manners.

Clearly your parents didn't bother to teach you any.

Says the person who can't abide by the host's rules and wants to crash a wedding. You know nothing about being a gracious guest or following etiquette.

Lol, pretty sure the pp wasn't invited.

Touch grass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so. Pump if you want. Sounds like you do t want to. It’s not reasonable to bring a 3 month old to a nice, small, private dinner.

If this 3 month old is 100% breastfed do you have ANY idea how uncomfortable this dinner will be for the Mom? Painful. I would go to the 15 person dinner and have my husband watch the baby in a very nearby hotel so that I could excuse myself to breastfeed as needed. Skip Europe.

What in the world? Breastfeeding moms can eat in a restaurant without the baby for a dinner. And a hotel? OP lives locally to this wedding.

Local doesn't mean next door necessarily.

Right- you need to consider the transit time, etc. I would expect a wedding celebration dinner like this to go at least 2-3 hrs, this isn't a run of the mill dinner. Those first couple months of nursing were tough for me on several levels and I definitely had a couple situations where I did a "drive by" without the baby because staying longer wasn't in the cards.

But I wouldn't expect a childless couple to know this and would just say you're a "maybe" for now and will assess closer to the date.

How many 15 person wedding celebration dinners have you been to?

I've been to a couple small weddings actually, can't remember how many people exactly but in the 15-25 guest count. Was there another question?

No, I just think you have an overactive imagination. Because clearly if a dinner is 2-3 hours long it's completely inappropriate for a newborn and toddler. Which you would know if you've been to such a dinner and are a real parent.

NP. Do you even remember having a 3 month old? I brought mine to a wedding actually. I nursed under a cover and then the baby slept in her stroller the entire night. In fact, dh and I used to go out to dinner nonstop at this stage because babies are so easy to travel with. 1 year olds are awful though.

What part of no kids do you not understand? Make other arrangements? That means no hidden babies under covers if that's what the hosts asked of you. This isn't that hard.

I would 100% rather a new mom ask if she could bring the baby than not come at all. Maybe there is a specific reason that an immobile baby can't come, like a no breastfeeding rule at the restaurant or strict noise limits or something. But before I had kids myself, I really didn't think about or understand how feeding an infant even works. Brother could say yes or no, it isn't hard to provide a response and it also isn't hard to show a little compassion and understanding. Oh wait I guess for some people the latter is hard but for most normal people it isn't.

[Anonymous]

I don't care whose wedding is it. Not leaving my 3 month old to attend anyone's wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so. Pump if you want. Sounds like you do t want to. It’s not reasonable to bring a 3 month old to a nice, small, private dinner.

If this 3 month old is 100% breastfed do you have ANY idea how uncomfortable this dinner will be for the Mom? Painful. I would go to the 15 person dinner and have my husband watch the baby in a very nearby hotel so that I could excuse myself to breastfeed as needed. Skip Europe.

What in the world? Breastfeeding moms can eat in a restaurant without the baby for a dinner. And a hotel? OP lives locally to this wedding.

Local doesn't mean next door necessarily.

Right- you need to consider the transit time, etc. I would expect a wedding celebration dinner like this to go at least 2-3 hrs, this isn't a run of the mill dinner. Those first couple months of nursing were tough for me on several levels and I definitely had a couple situations where I did a "drive by" without the baby because staying longer wasn't in the cards.

But I wouldn't expect a childless couple to know this and would just say you're a "maybe" for now and will assess closer to the date.

How many 15 person wedding celebration dinners have you been to?

I've been to a couple small weddings actually, can't remember how many people exactly but in the 15-25 guest count. Was there another question?

No, I just think you have an overactive imagination. Because clearly if a dinner is 2-3 hours long it's completely inappropriate for a newborn and toddler. Which you would know if you've been to such a dinner and are a real parent.

NP. Do you even remember having a 3 month old? I brought mine to a wedding actually. I nursed under a cover and then the baby slept in her stroller the entire night. In fact, dh and I used to go out to dinner nonstop at this stage because babies are so easy to travel with. 1 year olds are awful though.

What part of no kids do you not understand? Make other arrangements? That means no hidden babies under covers if that's what the hosts asked of you. This isn't that hard.

I would 100% rather a new mom ask if she could bring the baby than not come at all. Maybe there is a specific reason that an immobile baby can't come, like a no breastfeeding rule at the restaurant or strict noise limits or something. But before I had kids myself, I really didn't think about or understand how feeding an infant even works. Brother could say yes or no, it isn't hard to provide a response and it also isn't hard to show a little compassion and understanding. Oh wait I guess for some people the latter is hard but for most normal people it isn't.

Nobody is normal here. But the brother doesn't like OP and the mother told her not to bring the baby. Whether or not OP likes that is irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:This is your daily reminder that while your kids may be the center of YOUR world, they are not in fact the center of THE world.

Also a good daily reminder to brides and grooms that they can invite who they want but they can't force people to attend.

And absolutely NO ONE said otherwise.

Go back and read all the posts paying special attention to the ones calling parents "co dependent" or mocking them as bestest firstest ever wanting a participation trophy.

People are absolutely trashing the op for considering her baby's needs over her brother's courthouse wedding.

She can consider her baby’s needs by simply replying no. But that’s not what happened here.

+1

It's always the parents making this a thing. They simply can't decline and leave it at that.

People are absolutely trashing the op for considering her baby's needs over her brother's courthouse wedding

Wrong. OP is being called out for this:

OP: "Obviously it's 100% your right to have a child-free wedding but it just seems very targeted at us"

It's targeted at OP if the invite read "OP's children are not invited". OP making this more than it is - simply a childfree wedding and dinner - is why OP is getting criticism.

Unless they specifically planned to have the wedding after OP had a baby - to intentionally exclude her - this "targeted" thinking is baseless, a manifestation of her frustration over a child free wedding.

Op is the only guest with kids so by your logic then yes, it is directed at her.

No, it's not targeted at her. The post you just read explained why:

"Unless they specifically planned to have the wedding after OP had a baby..."
"It's targeted at OP if the invite read 'OP's children are not invited'".

If a store has a sign that says "no women allowed" it's targeted to woman. It doesn't have to list every woman by name.

It’s a party. For all we know it’s at a brewery that doesn’t allow kids.

A brewery that doesn’t allow kids?! Point me to one because all of the ones here in Maryland allow kids, and they are frankly turning into unpleasant loud playgrounds with drunk parents who don’t watch their kids. /OT

G34.3 Brewing Company at 8532 terminal rd in lorton, Va is for 21 and older only. No kids! Smaller place but cool and decent beers! Parents should not have their kids in a brew pub.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care whose wedding is it. Not leaving my 3 month old to attend anyone's wedding.

Yes! A baby is the perfect get out of attending events excuse. Use it as much as you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care whose wedding is it. Not leaving my 3 month old to attend anyone's wedding.

Sure, and that's fine.

OP might want to give her brother a heads-up that their mom may be a little salty about it "But it's fine with me, really, and I hope you all have a great time. I expect Mom will get over her outrage by the time she's on the first course"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't care whose wedding is it. Not leaving my 3 month old to attend anyone's wedding.

Sure, and that's fine.

OP might want to give her brother a heads-up that their mom may be a little salty about it "But it's fine with me, really, and I hope you all have a great time. I expect Mom will get over her outrage by the time she's on the first course"

That might be something you joke about with a close sibling, but these siblings aren't close. Also it comes across as bitter. Be better than that.

[Anonymous]

This thread is like a 5/10. As we embark upon wedding season I hope we will have some more exciting and drama worthy discussions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is like a 5/10. As we embark upon wedding season I hope we will have some more exciting and drama worthy discussions.

Agreed. SO over the people who don't understand that no one wants kids at a wedding. Yes, even a small dinner to celebrate a courthouse wedding. I always want to know if the people who complain about this had kids at their own wedding.