Not inviting kids.
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Anonymous
This is such BS. Plenty of people have kid and baby free weddings. I am sick of people acting like their kids are entitled to go to other people's weddings. People hire babysitters and put their kids in day cares etc for all sorts of things! But for some reason, they can't leave them alone for a few hours to go to a wedding? It's ridiculous. Get over yourself, OP. This day isn't about you and your babies who are way too young to remember this wedding. You sound self centered, which is why your brother doesn't like you. |
Anonymous
| Looks like you get to skip the wedding! Enjoy! |
Anonymous
+100 |
Anonymous
| My brother and parents did this too. The wedding was his second and it was a 10 hour flight. I didn’t go. Heard that my mom lied to someone and said it was too expensive for us, but the truth was my kids were not invited. |
Anonymous
+1 I wouldn’t have wanted infants at our immediate family dinner prior to the wedding. Even if they’re nieces and nephews, they’re infants and not suitable for a dinner like that. The kids will see your family again soon enough - they can skip out on one meal. |
Anonymous
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1) It's not about you, get that chip off your shoulder.
2) Don't go to Europe. Duh. 3) For my sibling, with a local, small wedding, even with a 3 month old, I'd really try to make that work, and least for a couple hours. Options include - pumping for one bottle, timing feeds around the ceremony (can you feed baby, go to the ceremony, go back to feed baby, go to the restaurant for a bit?), having the baby at a nearby location with a sitter or your husband so its easier for you to pop over, just going for a short while. Honestly, I have three kids, two of the three were nursing, and by 3 months, I was ready for a (local, low key) night out all three times, and I think that's fairly typical. |
Anonymous
Do you even care that your brother is getting married? Do you always take things this personally? |
Anonymous
| Would you really want to bring your newborn into a public place (restaurant )? Lots of weddings do not include children. Not sure of your courthouse timing, but with regular weddings, you don't see dinner until 8 PM. Your toddler would be a mess. |
Anonymous
| It does seem very targeted. You said he doesn't like you. Just don't gom |
Anonymous
| This happened to me with my siblings (both got married within a year of each other while I had very young kids). The difference was they expected me and my husband to be in the bridal party and just assumed we would get childcare for the weekend (the weddings were 5-6 hours away). No one even tried to help me or even acknowledge how much harder it was for me to attend their weddings. They just demanded we leave our kids, attend and take care of all their bridal party things for three days each. Meanwhile I got married near the house they were both still living in with my parents and childfree. A few years later my sister actually complained to me when her friend expected her to attend a wedding when my sister had a toddler! She couldn’t believe someone asked her to leave her child. I still resent my siblings and parents for this. I would just skip the destination wedding; they probably won’t care or appreciate if you go out of your way to attend. |
Anonymous
| This is not targeted at you. They're having a small private wedding party. I'd go to local and make arrangements with infant (have DH stay behind) and do bottle/pump/go and feed when necessary. You can just stay for an hour. Then obviously skip the European trip. |
Anonymous
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Don't take this personally, don't convince yourself that wedding plans were made deliberately to spite/exclude your, and definitely don't implicate your parents in your brother's / his fiancé's decisions.
Go if you want to, don't go if you don't. Creating drama within your family will not benefit your/your children's lives. Lashing out just to make a point to your brother/parents would really be cutting off your nose to spite your face. |
Anonymous
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I would attend the local dinner happily and graciously without complaint, leaving the kids with a sitter or home with DH if not comfortable leaving baby with a sitter. If you need to pop home to nurse the baby (or have the baby brought to you to nurse in a separate room or even in the car, I would). Mine took bottles by 3 months but I understand not all will. Either way, I’d be gracious and participate in the day as much as reasonably possible. I do feel it is reasonable to leave a 3 month old for a few hours and don’t think it is a big ask. TBTH.
I personally would not leave my infant to attend a destination wedding- no matter whose wedding it is. So- I’d just decline. If the children were older, I’d leave them home with DH and attend alone. But a small infant? Not for me. No point in complaining or putting your parents in the middle of all of this. |
Anonymous
| The entitlement of parents of small kids and infants is staggering. |
Anonymous
| At 3 months, I was still exclusively nursing, so baby went where I went. If baby wasn’t welcome, I didn’t go. I wasn’t going to introduce a bottle for someone else’s convenience. |