Told we are waitlisted for our top choice school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For OP - it seems kind of weird and unprofessional that your PSD would tell people that they recommended a specific child over yours.

Our PSD didn’t as that, I found out from someone else. But also not great to hear that.

I doubt this happened in the way you’re worried it did. These schools don’t operate on slots per preschool, just on overall slots.

You should keep your preschool director on your team and see if there’s a way to get into your second choice while pushing for a waitlist spot at the first choice without blowing up anyone’s relationships.

OP here:

I do not plan on blowing up any relationship or kicking my PSD off "my team." Not even in the slightest. I have talked to two sources about the situation we are in and it truly is the PSD and the admissions director in the other end. It all checks out. BUT myself and my husband made it very clear we plan on staying on the waitlist and we expect that our PSD will push to get our child a space at our favored school.

There are definitely many scenario that can happen. We do not even know for sure that our second choice is going to offer our child a spot, or do we know if our third choice will. We may have all waitlists.

We were just told from the beginning that our PSD was pushing for our child for this school and that our child was the number one choice up until yesterday, so we are trying to match up what happened with the sudden change.

There are so many explanations for how a child could go from having strong positive feedback and being the “top choice” by a school to the waitlist pool. If the other child at your preschool is demographically or temperamentally different from yours, it could be that they fill a hole in the class that needs filling. It’s so common that bright smart lovely kids with kind, involved, wonderful parents don’t get into their first choice school for a bunch of reasons that are not any sort of ding on the child, their parents, or the preschool director. It often comes down to what holes they need to fill as they round out a class. But if you really love the school, it’s great to reply to your waitlist offer by re-iterating it’s your first choice and you will definitely accept a spot of one becomes available. Schools love families that love them.

My bet is that it is related to the child's parents.

Can you give a concrete example? I don’t see how this is mainly about parents, since they’re not the ones who need to thrive at school.

All of the OP's posts in this thread.

I can actually understand where the OP is coming from. I’m curious which feeder school is being discussed here.

I did see a lot of applicant kids with uniforms at the girls school events. Which preschool wears a uniform?

I’m not sure what you mean

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For OP - it seems kind of weird and unprofessional that your PSD would tell people that they recommended a specific child over yours.

Our PSD didn’t as that, I found out from someone else. But also not great to hear that.

I doubt this happened in the way you’re worried it did. These schools don’t operate on slots per preschool, just on overall slots.

You should keep your preschool director on your team and see if there’s a way to get into your second choice while pushing for a waitlist spot at the first choice without blowing up anyone’s relationships.

OP here:

I do not plan on blowing up any relationship or kicking my PSD off "my team." Not even in the slightest. I have talked to two sources about the situation we are in and it truly is the PSD and the admissions director in the other end. It all checks out. BUT myself and my husband made it very clear we plan on staying on the waitlist and we expect that our PSD will push to get our child a space at our favored school.

There are definitely many scenario that can happen. We do not even know for sure that our second choice is going to offer our child a spot, or do we know if our third choice will. We may have all waitlists.

We were just told from the beginning that our PSD was pushing for our child for this school and that our child was the number one choice up until yesterday, so we are trying to match up what happened with the sudden change.

There are so many explanations for how a child could go from having strong positive feedback and being the “top choice” by a school to the waitlist pool. If the other child at your preschool is demographically or temperamentally different from yours, it could be that they fill a hole in the class that needs filling. It’s so common that bright smart lovely kids with kind, involved, wonderful parents don’t get into their first choice school for a bunch of reasons that are not any sort of ding on the child, their parents, or the preschool director. It often comes down to what holes they need to fill as they round out a class. But if you really love the school, it’s great to reply to your waitlist offer by re-iterating it’s your first choice and you will definitely accept a spot of one becomes available. Schools love families that love them.

My bet is that it is related to the child's parents.

Can you give a concrete example? I don’t see how this is mainly about parents, since they’re not the ones who need to thrive at school.

All of the OP's posts in this thread.

I can actually understand where the OP is coming from. I’m curious which feeder school is being discussed here.

People are jealous OP can afford these schools and will get into a TT, even if second choice. Almost no one who goes through this process is more even keel, they all stress.

It’s easier to sound even-keeled when you’re not the one going through it.

Yes. People criticizing OP are far removed from the process, never underwent it, and largely don't associate with people who do (otherwise they wouldn't snipe so forcefully). I don't get why they are posting here. If they had any sustained familiarity with the process, they wouldn't post like they do.

This. I've been through it four times, twice for K and twice for HS. I get that it's hard to see things for what they are when your DC is very young and you're in the middle of it . . . you want to believe that it's all about how smart and engaging your child is, but it's not.

The stakes seem so high, but the reality is that, especially for kindergarten, they aren't. This isn't where your child's future is decided. And even for those who do get in, fitting in is another story, and odds are really good that if you land at an ongoing school (TT and otherwise) it will not be your child's last school before college. Kids get counseled out, some families feel like they aren't supported, circumstances change, and buyer's remorse is pretty common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For OP - it seems kind of weird and unprofessional that your PSD would tell people that they recommended a specific child over yours.

Our PSD didn’t as that, I found out from someone else. But also not great to hear that.

I doubt this happened in the way you’re worried it did. These schools don’t operate on slots per preschool, just on overall slots.

You should keep your preschool director on your team and see if there’s a way to get into your second choice while pushing for a waitlist spot at the first choice without blowing up anyone’s relationships.

OP here:

I do not plan on blowing up any relationship or kicking my PSD off "my team." Not even in the slightest. I have talked to two sources about the situation we are in and it truly is the PSD and the admissions director in the other end. It all checks out. BUT myself and my husband made it very clear we plan on staying on the waitlist and we expect that our PSD will push to get our child a space at our favored school.

There are definitely many scenario that can happen. We do not even know for sure that our second choice is going to offer our child a spot, or do we know if our third choice will. We may have all waitlists.

We were just told from the beginning that our PSD was pushing for our child for this school and that our child was the number one choice up until yesterday, so we are trying to match up what happened with the sudden change.

There are so many explanations for how a child could go from having strong positive feedback and being the “top choice” by a school to the waitlist pool. If the other child at your preschool is demographically or temperamentally different from yours, it could be that they fill a hole in the class that needs filling. It’s so common that bright smart lovely kids with kind, involved, wonderful parents don’t get into their first choice school for a bunch of reasons that are not any sort of ding on the child, their parents, or the preschool director. It often comes down to what holes they need to fill as they round out a class. But if you really love the school, it’s great to reply to your waitlist offer by re-iterating it’s your first choice and you will definitely accept a spot of one becomes available. Schools love families that love them.

My bet is that it is related to the child's parents.

Can you give a concrete example? I don’t see how this is mainly about parents, since they’re not the ones who need to thrive at school.

All of the OP's posts in this thread.

I can actually understand where the OP is coming from. I’m curious which feeder school is being discussed here.

I did see a lot of applicant kids with uniforms at the girls school events. Which preschool wears a uniform?

Garden house school has uniforms, but it doesn't mean OP is from that school...

I don’t think the OP mentioned anything about uniforms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For OP - it seems kind of weird and unprofessional that your PSD would tell people that they recommended a specific child over yours.

Our PSD didn’t as that, I found out from someone else. But also not great to hear that.

I doubt this happened in the way you’re worried it did. These schools don’t operate on slots per preschool, just on overall slots.

You should keep your preschool director on your team and see if there’s a way to get into your second choice while pushing for a waitlist spot at the first choice without blowing up anyone’s relationships.

OP here:

I do not plan on blowing up any relationship or kicking my PSD off "my team." Not even in the slightest. I have talked to two sources about the situation we are in and it truly is the PSD and the admissions director in the other end. It all checks out. BUT myself and my husband made it very clear we plan on staying on the waitlist and we expect that our PSD will push to get our child a space at our favored school.

There are definitely many scenario that can happen. We do not even know for sure that our second choice is going to offer our child a spot, or do we know if our third choice will. We may have all waitlists.

We were just told from the beginning that our PSD was pushing for our child for this school and that our child was the number one choice up until yesterday, so we are trying to match up what happened with the sudden change.

There are so many explanations for how a child could go from having strong positive feedback and being the “top choice” by a school to the waitlist pool. If the other child at your preschool is demographically or temperamentally different from yours, it could be that they fill a hole in the class that needs filling. It’s so common that bright smart lovely kids with kind, involved, wonderful parents don’t get into their first choice school for a bunch of reasons that are not any sort of ding on the child, their parents, or the preschool director. It often comes down to what holes they need to fill as they round out a class. But if you really love the school, it’s great to reply to your waitlist offer by re-iterating it’s your first choice and you will definitely accept a spot of one becomes available. Schools love families that love them.

My bet is that it is related to the child's parents.

Can you give a concrete example? I don’t see how this is mainly about parents, since they’re not the ones who need to thrive at school.

All of the OP's posts in this thread.

I can actually understand where the OP is coming from. I’m curious which feeder school is being discussed here.

People are jealous OP can afford these schools and will get into a TT, even if second choice. Almost no one who goes through this process is more even keel, they all stress.

It’s easier to sound even-keeled when you’re not the one going through it.

Yes. People criticizing OP are far removed from the process, never underwent it, and largely don't associate with people who do (otherwise they wouldn't snipe so forcefully). I don't get why they are posting here. If they had any sustained familiarity with the process, they wouldn't post like they do.

This. I've been through it four times, twice for K and twice for HS. I get that it's hard to see things for what they are when your DC is very young and you're in the middle of it . . . you want to believe that it's all about how smart and engaging your child is, but it's not.

The stakes seem so high, but the reality is that, especially for kindergarten, they aren't. This isn't where your child's future is decided. And even for those who do get in, fitting in is another story, and odds are really good that if you land at an ongoing school (TT and otherwise) it will not be your child's last school before college. Kids get counseled out, some families feel like they aren't supported, circumstances change, and buyer's remorse is pretty common.

Agree with most of this, except the stakes can be very high if your goal is a very good HS. It is far more difficult to get in later on than in K. Paying the K-8 tuition is insurance. Think about how many K-8 alumni there are, out of towners, people switching schools (private and public). The odds of getting in at 9th grade are lower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly thought I had posted this myself. The same thing happened to us and we still don’t know why.

Are you getting the first choice or did someone bump your spot? Is this also for the girls schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For OP - it seems kind of weird and unprofessional that your PSD would tell people that they recommended a specific child over yours.

Our PSD didn’t as that, I found out from someone else. But also not great to hear that.

I doubt this happened in the way you’re worried it did. These schools don’t operate on slots per preschool, just on overall slots.

You should keep your preschool director on your team and see if there’s a way to get into your second choice while pushing for a waitlist spot at the first choice without blowing up anyone’s relationships.

OP here:

I do not plan on blowing up any relationship or kicking my PSD off "my team." Not even in the slightest. I have talked to two sources about the situation we are in and it truly is the PSD and the admissions director in the other end. It all checks out. BUT myself and my husband made it very clear we plan on staying on the waitlist and we expect that our PSD will push to get our child a space at our favored school.

There are definitely many scenario that can happen. We do not even know for sure that our second choice is going to offer our child a spot, or do we know if our third choice will. We may have all waitlists.

We were just told from the beginning that our PSD was pushing for our child for this school and that our child was the number one choice up until yesterday, so we are trying to match up what happened with the sudden change.

There are so many explanations for how a child could go from having strong positive feedback and being the “top choice” by a school to the waitlist pool. If the other child at your preschool is demographically or temperamentally different from yours, it could be that they fill a hole in the class that needs filling. It’s so common that bright smart lovely kids with kind, involved, wonderful parents don’t get into their first choice school for a bunch of reasons that are not any sort of ding on the child, their parents, or the preschool director. It often comes down to what holes they need to fill as they round out a class. But if you really love the school, it’s great to reply to your waitlist offer by re-iterating it’s your first choice and you will definitely accept a spot of one becomes available. Schools love families that love them.

My bet is that it is related to the child's parents.

Can you give a concrete example? I don’t see how this is mainly about parents, since they’re not the ones who need to thrive at school.

All of the OP's posts in this thread.

I can actually understand where the OP is coming from. I’m curious which feeder school is being discussed here.

People are jealous OP can afford these schools and will get into a TT, even if second choice. Almost no one who goes through this process is more even keel, they all stress.

It’s easier to sound even-keeled when you’re not the one going through it.

Yes. People criticizing OP are far removed from the process, never underwent it, and largely don't associate with people who do (otherwise they wouldn't snipe so forcefully). I don't get why they are posting here. If they had any sustained familiarity with the process, they wouldn't post like they do.

This. I've been through it four times, twice for K and twice for HS. I get that it's hard to see things for what they are when your DC is very young and you're in the middle of it . . . you want to believe that it's all about how smart and engaging your child is, but it's not.

The stakes seem so high, but the reality is that, especially for kindergarten, they aren't. This isn't where your child's future is decided. And even for those who do get in, fitting in is another story, and odds are really good that if you land at an ongoing school (TT and otherwise) it will not be your child's last school before college. Kids get counseled out, some families feel like they aren't supported, circumstances change, and buyer's remorse is pretty common.

Agree with most of this, except the stakes can be very high if your goal is a very good HS. It is far more difficult to get in later on than in K. Paying the K-8 tuition is insurance. Think about how many K-8 alumni there are, out of towners, people switching schools (private and public). The odds of getting in at 9th grade are lower.

My DCs went to a K-8, and we found the HS process to be much more straightforward. At that point in kids' lives they have test scores, grades, teacher recs, essays, and interviews. The admissions people are generally warm and understand that the process puts a lot of stress on the kids. Both of my kids had great choices in the end, with each ending up at their TT first choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly thought I had posted this myself. The same thing happened to us and we still don’t know why.

Are you getting the first choice or did someone bump your spot? Is this also for the girls schools

we were waitlisted for our first choice school, and we don’t know why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t trust or worry about the grapevine. Be productive and constructive!

Top 3 choice still sounds like a win! Dream bigger! Your child is 4/5 - you are trying to do the best you can right now, but also things can change if necessary in the future too! I agree with prior comments that some of these schools are more similar than different. They also can change over the next 10+ years, it’s a dream to lock in until graduation but not a given! See angry posts about schools in other threads

Talk to your PSD now!

Draft a plan for Thursday! Emails, any school connections- good luck!

Sorry, no. This child will end up behind the cash register at a Buc-ee's, clearly. Thoughts and prayers, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t trust or worry about the grapevine. Be productive and constructive!

Top 3 choice still sounds like a win! Dream bigger! Your child is 4/5 - you are trying to do the best you can right now, but also things can change if necessary in the future too! I agree with prior comments that some of these schools are more similar than different. They also can change over the next 10+ years, it’s a dream to lock in until graduation but not a given! See angry posts about schools in other threads

Talk to your PSD now!

Draft a plan for Thursday! Emails, any school connections- good luck!

Sorry, no. This child will end up behind the cash register at a Buc-ee's, clearly. Thoughts and prayers, OP.

That sounds more like a reflection of your own experiences than of this girl’s future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly thought I had posted this myself. The same thing happened to us and we still don’t know why.

Are you getting the first choice or did someone bump your spot? Is this also for the girls schools

we were waitlisted for our first choice school, and we don’t know why.

Had your preschool director expected you to get in? Did you send a first choice letter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For OP - it seems kind of weird and unprofessional that your PSD would tell people that they recommended a specific child over yours.

Our PSD didn’t as that, I found out from someone else. But also not great to hear that.

I doubt this happened in the way you’re worried it did. These schools don’t operate on slots per preschool, just on overall slots.

You should keep your preschool director on your team and see if there’s a way to get into your second choice while pushing for a waitlist spot at the first choice without blowing up anyone’s relationships.

OP here:

I do not plan on blowing up any relationship or kicking my PSD off "my team." Not even in the slightest. I have talked to two sources about the situation we are in and it truly is the PSD and the admissions director in the other end. It all checks out. BUT myself and my husband made it very clear we plan on staying on the waitlist and we expect that our PSD will push to get our child a space at our favored school.

There are definitely many scenario that can happen. We do not even know for sure that our second choice is going to offer our child a spot, or do we know if our third choice will. We may have all waitlists.

We were just told from the beginning that our PSD was pushing for our child for this school and that our child was the number one choice up until yesterday, so we are trying to match up what happened with the sudden change.

There are so many explanations for how a child could go from having strong positive feedback and being the “top choice” by a school to the waitlist pool. If the other child at your preschool is demographically or temperamentally different from yours, it could be that they fill a hole in the class that needs filling. It’s so common that bright smart lovely kids with kind, involved, wonderful parents don’t get into their first choice school for a bunch of reasons that are not any sort of ding on the child, their parents, or the preschool director. It often comes down to what holes they need to fill as they round out a class. But if you really love the school, it’s great to reply to your waitlist offer by re-iterating it’s your first choice and you will definitely accept a spot of one becomes available. Schools love families that love them.

My bet is that it is related to the child's parents.

Can you give a concrete example? I don’t see how this is mainly about parents, since they’re not the ones who need to thrive at school.

All of the OP's posts in this thread.

I can actually understand where the OP is coming from. I’m curious which feeder school is being discussed here.

People are jealous OP can afford these schools and will get into a TT, even if second choice. Almost no one who goes through this process is more even keel, they all stress.

It’s easier to sound even-keeled when you’re not the one going through it.

Yes. People criticizing OP are far removed from the process, never underwent it, and largely don't associate with people who do (otherwise they wouldn't snipe so forcefully). I don't get why they are posting here. If they had any sustained familiarity with the process, they wouldn't post like they do.

consultants’ role becomes easier when families are told to simply accept outcomes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly thought I had posted this myself. The same thing happened to us and we still don’t know why.

Are you getting the first choice or did someone bump your spot? Is this also for the girls schools

we were waitlisted for our first choice school, and we don’t know why.

is this based on what your PSD told you to expect or based on the actual school decision in which case I assume this was HM?

[Anonymous]

My eldest is in 1st grade at a TT. When we first ranked for our PSD it was our second choice. The first choice was interested in my child and then in Jan told PSD they would waitlist us due to tight spots. We accepted the spot at our “second choice” and withdrew from the waitlist at our “first choice.” We are SO HAPPY it worked out the way it did because we love the school we landed at and have learned more about our initial first choice that has caused us to think it wouldn’t have been as good of a fit for us. Some things work out for a reason, and in nyc there are many amazing schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My eldest is in 1st grade at a TT. When we first ranked for our PSD it was our second choice. The first choice was interested in my child and then in Jan told PSD they would waitlist us due to tight spots. We accepted the spot at our “second choice” and withdrew from the waitlist at our “first choice.” We are SO HAPPY it worked out the way it did because we love the school we landed at and have learned more about our initial first choice that has caused us to think it wouldn’t have been as good of a fit for us. Some things work out for a reason, and in nyc there are many amazing schools.

In the OP’s case, the uncertainty arrived very late in the process. Being waitlisted by a first choice just 2 days before results, followed by waitlists elsewhere, is hard to process, particularly from a feeder school. That’s why “it will work out” can feel dismissive in the moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For OP - it seems kind of weird and unprofessional that your PSD would tell people that they recommended a specific child over yours.

Our PSD didn’t as that, I found out from someone else. But also not great to hear that.

I doubt this happened in the way you’re worried it did. These schools don’t operate on slots per preschool, just on overall slots.

You should keep your preschool director on your team and see if there’s a way to get into your second choice while pushing for a waitlist spot at the first choice without blowing up anyone’s relationships.

OP here:

I do not plan on blowing up any relationship or kicking my PSD off "my team." Not even in the slightest. I have talked to two sources about the situation we are in and it truly is the PSD and the admissions director in the other end. It all checks out. BUT myself and my husband made it very clear we plan on staying on the waitlist and we expect that our PSD will push to get our child a space at our favored school.

There are definitely many scenario that can happen. We do not even know for sure that our second choice is going to offer our child a spot, or do we know if our third choice will. We may have all waitlists.

We were just told from the beginning that our PSD was pushing for our child for this school and that our child was the number one choice up until yesterday, so we are trying to match up what happened with the sudden change.

There are so many explanations for how a child could go from having strong positive feedback and being the “top choice” by a school to the waitlist pool. If the other child at your preschool is demographically or temperamentally different from yours, it could be that they fill a hole in the class that needs filling. It’s so common that bright smart lovely kids with kind, involved, wonderful parents don’t get into their first choice school for a bunch of reasons that are not any sort of ding on the child, their parents, or the preschool director. It often comes down to what holes they need to fill as they round out a class. But if you really love the school, it’s great to reply to your waitlist offer by re-iterating it’s your first choice and you will definitely accept a spot of one becomes available. Schools love families that love them.

My bet is that it is related to the child's parents.

Can you give a concrete example? I don’t see how this is mainly about parents, since they’re not the ones who need to thrive at school.

All of the OP's posts in this thread.

I can actually understand where the OP is coming from. I’m curious which feeder school is being discussed here.

I did see a lot of applicant kids with uniforms at the girls school events. Which preschool wears a uniform?

I think you’re talking about the kids from Saint Thomas More Play Group. The girls wear a navy blue pinny and a white collared under shirt?

If you look up the school website you will see the uniforms. They do wear their uniforms to all the playgroup we have seen them at. We saw many at the Spence playgroup.