A Jew named Mary?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, she'll forever have an icebreaker when meeting new people.

+1. Yeah, that’s just weird.

+10 Agree

[Anonymous]

I'm jewish, I knew girls named Mari/mar/Miri etc growing up but no Mary's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has to be a troll. You want to have a Malkah, Tovah and a Mary?

In case you are not joking, just pick another M name - Mira, Maya, Miri, Merrill, Mayra, Matea.

All great suggestions. I add: Mara

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a Jew with a very non-Jewish name - don’t do it. My whole life, everyone has assumed I’m not Jewish or a convert. Which isn’t the end of the world but it gets tedious. When I got married the rabbi grilled me about whether I was sure I wasn’t a convert, because of my name.

If you must call her Mary, then name her Miriam and use Mary as a nickname.

Also your other kids have very religious sounding Jewish names and if you add Mary, people will think she’s adopted and not converted. With Miriam, even nicknamed Mary, they won’t think that.

THIS. I've had to jump through hoops to prove that I'm Jewish because of my non-Jewish name (especially when getting married). I swear they practically did a full-blown background check on me. They wanted the names of my parents, my grandparents, etc. They wanted to know which cemeteries my older ancestors are buried in. They wanted to know where my family emigrated from. Thankfully, my parents were able to give me their ketubah that I was able to eventually provide as proof to easily put the doubt to rest.

If your daughter is even slightly interested in her Jewish identity and wants to be actively involved in her Jewish community, being named Mary will be a nightmare for her logistically speaking.

Why does anyone even choose to be part of a community that is so exclusive and unwelcoming? That is a choice.

This proves to me that humans are still very tribalistic.

So we should give up our community because it has some rules that some see as outdated? Judaism is a religion of rules.

Do you renounce your citizenship when your government does something you disagree with?

No, I didn’t mean that Jewish people should give up Judaism as a whole. The previous poster said that, because she has a non-Jewish name, she was basically put through an extensive background check to prove that she’s Jewish in order to be able to participate in her own community. I was asking why not join more mainstream Jewish communities that are more inclusive and welcoming. I know that they exist.

What about the second part?

I meant that, when presented with the option, most humans will choose opportunities for exclusion rather than inclusion. We’re still tribalistic in that way. We want what feels exclusive and special (even if it’s to our own detriment) rather than what feels inclusive and ordinary.

The previous poster “jumped through hoops” (in her own words) to join a Jewish community that is unwelcoming rather than a Jewish community that is welcoming. She chose to pursue acceptance from that group even when they were being exclusionary toward her and skeptical of her due to her name. There is something to be said about the psychology behind that.

Well, obviously. Why do you think it’s so easy for cults/extremist/supremacist/hate groups to recruit members? Why do you think everyone is so loyal to their political party? Why do you think grown men lose their minds over a certain sports team losing? People love that sh*t. Everyone wants to feel like they belong to something that sets them apart from the rest of society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, she'll forever have an icebreaker when meeting new people.

It would be nice to have an icebreaker though! I wish I had one. 😅

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've always liked the name Mary, but we're very much a Jewish family. It's not a common name among (even secular) Jews for an obvious reason. I guess I'm just wondering how odd it would be. Our last name is identifiably Jewish, so that is my main concern. I just don't want her full name to sound like a bad stand-up comedy joke to others. I know that Miriam is an option, but I don't like it as much. We already have daughters named Naomi, Malkah, and Tovah. We considered Mary for each of our other daughters but ended up not going with it every time.

You have daughters named Malkah and Tovah and you’re considering Mary? This has to be a goof. Those aren’t just Jewish names, those are really, really, Jewish names.

[Anonymous]

The most famous Mary in history was Jewish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a Jew with a very non-Jewish name - don’t do it. My whole life, everyone has assumed I’m not Jewish or a convert. Which isn’t the end of the world but it gets tedious. When I got married the rabbi grilled me about whether I was sure I wasn’t a convert, because of my name.

If you must call her Mary, then name her Miriam and use Mary as a nickname.

Also your other kids have very religious sounding Jewish names and if you add Mary, people will think she’s adopted and not converted. With Miriam, even nicknamed Mary, they won’t think that.

THIS. I've had to jump through hoops to prove that I'm Jewish because of my non-Jewish name (especially when getting married). I swear they practically did a full-blown background check on me. They wanted the names of my parents, my grandparents, etc. They wanted to know which cemeteries my older ancestors are buried in. They wanted to know where my family emigrated from. Thankfully, my parents were able to give me their ketubah that I was able to eventually provide as proof to easily put the doubt to rest.

If your daughter is even slightly interested in her Jewish identity and wants to be actively involved in her Jewish community, being named Mary will be a nightmare for her logistically speaking.

Why does anyone even choose to be part of a community that is so exclusive and unwelcoming? That is a choice.

This proves to me that humans are still very tribalistic.

So we should give up our community because it has some rules that some see as outdated? Judaism is a religion of rules.

Do you renounce your citizenship when your government does something you disagree with?

No, I didn’t mean that Jewish people should give up Judaism as a whole. The previous poster said that, because she has a non-Jewish name, she was basically put through an extensive background check to prove that she’s Jewish in order to be able to participate in her own community. I was asking why not join more mainstream Jewish communities that are more inclusive and welcoming. I know that they exist.

What about the second part?

I meant that, when presented with the option, most humans will choose opportunities for exclusion rather than inclusion. We’re still tribalistic in that way. We want what feels exclusive and special (even if it’s to our own detriment) rather than what feels inclusive and ordinary.

The previous poster “jumped through hoops” (in her own words) to join a Jewish community that is unwelcoming rather than a Jewish community that is welcoming. She chose to pursue acceptance from that group even when they were being exclusionary toward her and skeptical of her due to her name. There is something to be said about the psychology behind that.

Love how every thread on Judaism devolves into this antisemitic cr*p.

Because you need it explained to you - just because they wanted to verify her genealogy (in a matrilineal religion) prior to a marriage doesn’t mean that she felt unwelcome. If you think this is unwelcome wait until you find out about how you have to prove you are Catholic to get married in a Catholic Church!

I do think it must be made clear for anyone that may read this thread that there are branches that are more open and lenient. Some will accept those with patrilineal descent and have an easier (less intensive) conversion process for potential converts. We’re not all the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've always liked the name Mary, but we're very much a Jewish family. It's not a common name among (even secular) Jews for an obvious reason. I guess I'm just wondering how odd it would be. Our last name is identifiably Jewish, so that is my main concern. I just don't want her full name to sound like a bad stand-up comedy joke to others. I know that Miriam is an option, but I don't like it as much. We already have daughters named Naomi, Malkah, and Tovah. We considered Mary for each of our other daughters but ended up not going with it every time.

You have daughters named Malkah and Tovah and you’re considering Mary? This has to be a goof. Those aren’t just Jewish names, those are really, really, Jewish names.

The OP said in a previous comment that Malkah and Tovah are names of family members that have passed away with hs added onto the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a Jew with a very non-Jewish name - don’t do it. My whole life, everyone has assumed I’m not Jewish or a convert. Which isn’t the end of the world but it gets tedious. When I got married the rabbi grilled me about whether I was sure I wasn’t a convert, because of my name.

If you must call her Mary, then name her Miriam and use Mary as a nickname.

Also your other kids have very religious sounding Jewish names and if you add Mary, people will think she’s adopted and not converted. With Miriam, even nicknamed Mary, they won’t think that.

THIS. I've had to jump through hoops to prove that I'm Jewish because of my non-Jewish name (especially when getting married). I swear they practically did a full-blown background check on me. They wanted the names of my parents, my grandparents, etc. They wanted to know which cemeteries my older ancestors are buried in. They wanted to know where my family emigrated from. Thankfully, my parents were able to give me their ketubah that I was able to eventually provide as proof to easily put the doubt to rest.

If your daughter is even slightly interested in her Jewish identity and wants to be actively involved in her Jewish community, being named Mary will be a nightmare for her logistically speaking.

Why does anyone even choose to be part of a community that is so exclusive and unwelcoming? That is a choice.

This proves to me that humans are still very tribalistic.

Well yes, and this will probably never change as humans are, to a significant extent, "wired" to be tribal due to evolutionary and neurological factors. This instinct stems from a time when living in small, cooperative groups was essential for survival.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-reboot/202307/the-neuroscience-of-tribalism

[Anonymous]

What about the Hebrew name Meri

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a Jew with a very non-Jewish name - don’t do it. My whole life, everyone has assumed I’m not Jewish or a convert. Which isn’t the end of the world but it gets tedious. When I got married the rabbi grilled me about whether I was sure I wasn’t a convert, because of my name.

If you must call her Mary, then name her Miriam and use Mary as a nickname.

Also your other kids have very religious sounding Jewish names and if you add Mary, people will think she’s adopted and not converted. With Miriam, even nicknamed Mary, they won’t think that.

THIS. I've had to jump through hoops to prove that I'm Jewish because of my non-Jewish name (especially when getting married). I swear they practically did a full-blown background check on me. They wanted the names of my parents, my grandparents, etc. They wanted to know which cemeteries my older ancestors are buried in. They wanted to know where my family emigrated from. Thankfully, my parents were able to give me their ketubah that I was able to eventually provide as proof to easily put the doubt to rest.

If your daughter is even slightly interested in her Jewish identity and wants to be actively involved in her Jewish community, being named Mary will be a nightmare for her logistically speaking.

Why does anyone even choose to be part of a community that is so exclusive and unwelcoming? That is a choice.

This proves to me that humans are still very tribalistic.

So we should give up our community because it has some rules that some see as outdated? Judaism is a religion of rules.

Do you renounce your citizenship when your government does something you disagree with?

No, I didn’t mean that Jewish people should give up Judaism as a whole. The previous poster said that, because she has a non-Jewish name, she was basically put through an extensive background check to prove that she’s Jewish in order to be able to participate in her own community. I was asking why not join more mainstream Jewish communities that are more inclusive and welcoming. I know that they exist.

What about the second part?

I meant that, when presented with the option, most humans will choose opportunities for exclusion rather than inclusion. We’re still tribalistic in that way. We want what feels exclusive and special (even if it’s to our own detriment) rather than what feels inclusive and ordinary.

The previous poster “jumped through hoops” (in her own words) to join a Jewish community that is unwelcoming rather than a Jewish community that is welcoming. She chose to pursue acceptance from that group even when they were being exclusionary toward her and skeptical of her due to her name. There is something to be said about the psychology behind that.

Love how every thread on Judaism devolves into this antisemitic cr*p.

Because you need it explained to you - just because they wanted to verify her genealogy (in a matrilineal religion) prior to a marriage doesn’t mean that she felt unwelcome. If you think this is unwelcome wait until you find out about how you have to prove you are Catholic to get married in a Catholic Church!

Apparently you didn't read what previous posters have stated. As far as I'm aware, the Catholic Church does not doubt that someone is Catholic on the basis of their name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kristen and Christopher are very poor examples these names were universally popular for a certain generation and despite the meaning were not associated with a particular religion.

Similar for your Aunt Mary and Teresa born in 1950 .

And those who converted later on life.

It's an odd choice given your other children's names.

But ultimately you can name your kid whatever you want.

Kristen and Christopher, while very popular, are certainly associated with a particular religion...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a Jew with a very non-Jewish name - don’t do it. My whole life, everyone has assumed I’m not Jewish or a convert. Which isn’t the end of the world but it gets tedious. When I got married the rabbi grilled me about whether I was sure I wasn’t a convert, because of my name.

If you must call her Mary, then name her Miriam and use Mary as a nickname.

Also your other kids have very religious sounding Jewish names and if you add Mary, people will think she’s adopted and not converted. With Miriam, even nicknamed Mary, they won’t think that.

THIS. I've had to jump through hoops to prove that I'm Jewish because of my non-Jewish name (especially when getting married). I swear they practically did a full-blown background check on me. They wanted the names of my parents, my grandparents, etc. They wanted to know which cemeteries my older ancestors are buried in. They wanted to know where my family emigrated from. Thankfully, my parents were able to give me their ketubah that I was able to eventually provide as proof to easily put the doubt to rest.

If your daughter is even slightly interested in her Jewish identity and wants to be actively involved in her Jewish community, being named Mary will be a nightmare for her logistically speaking.

Why does anyone even choose to be part of a community that is so exclusive and unwelcoming? That is a choice.

This proves to me that humans are still very tribalistic.

So we should give up our community because it has some rules that some see as outdated? Judaism is a religion of rules.

Do you renounce your citizenship when your government does something you disagree with?

No, I didn’t mean that Jewish people should give up Judaism as a whole. The previous poster said that, because she has a non-Jewish name, she was basically put through an extensive background check to prove that she’s Jewish in order to be able to participate in her own community. I was asking why not join more mainstream Jewish communities that are more inclusive and welcoming. I know that they exist.

What about the second part?

I meant that, when presented with the option, most humans will choose opportunities for exclusion rather than inclusion. We’re still tribalistic in that way. We want what feels exclusive and special (even if it’s to our own detriment) rather than what feels inclusive and ordinary.

The previous poster “jumped through hoops” (in her own words) to join a Jewish community that is unwelcoming rather than a Jewish community that is welcoming. She chose to pursue acceptance from that group even when they were being exclusionary toward her and skeptical of her due to her name. There is something to be said about the psychology behind that.

Love how every thread on Judaism devolves into this antisemitic cr*p.

Because you need it explained to you - just because they wanted to verify her genealogy (in a matrilineal religion) prior to a marriage doesn’t mean that she felt unwelcome. If you think this is unwelcome wait until you find out about how you have to prove you are Catholic to get married in a Catholic Church!

Apparently you didn't read what previous posters have stated. As far as I'm aware, the Catholic Church does not doubt that someone is Catholic on the basis of their name.

Booyah, you proved Jews suck! Good on ya.

[Anonymous]

I know 2 Jewish “Marys” but they are Meri’s short for Meredith

Funny, though, I’m also a Jewish “Kristin” but my parents spelled my name Cairistin