How many SAHPs do you know in the DMV?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm OP. The responses here seem to highlight the fact that there is no shared definition of SAHP among DCUM.

When I read the big fights between SAHMs and the working moms here, especially when it comes to what happens when the couple divorces, it's always about the woman having stopped earning income and not having her own retirement plan that is built over 30+ years of consistent income. So, I don't consider someone who goes back to work, full time or part time, within 3-4 years to be a SAHM. To me, a SAHM is someone like my own mother who never earned income from the time she had her first child till she was in her 80s. She is entirely dependent on my dad's income and the saving/pension/Social Security credits building he did during his working years for her survival. By that definition, it seems that very few people on DCUM, even those in the wealthiest areas, know many SAHMs. The rich parents with real family money (those who don't have to work for a living) are an entirely different story.

And many people living and working in the DMV are in career tracks that don't allow one to leave for a few years and then just pop back in. None of the military people can do this, and you can't do that as a Fed. You also can't do this in IT or Intel/security because the fields move so fast and you're skills/knowledge becomes obsolete very quickly.

Well, in my opinion, that’s a really dumb definition. I was in the workforce for 14 years and have some 401(k) but since I stopped working at 35 and I’m now pushing 50 how am I supposed to get hired if I need to get some kind of job if I get a divorce?

[Anonymous]

"Well, in my opinion, that’s a really dumb definition. I was in the workforce for 14 years and have some 401(k) but since I stopped working at 35 and I’m now pushing 50 how am I supposed to get hired if I need to get some kind of job if I get a divorce?"

Since you didn't go back to work after your children started school, you'd be a SAHM by this definition.

The challenges of being a SAHM (a parent who chose to be out of the workforce during the core working years) are beyond the scope of this thread, IMHO. I hope that people don't take this opportunity to share their thoughts on the wisdom of your choice because that is tired topic.

[Anonymous]

I’m a sahm in McLean. I have many SAHM friends. We all have husbands with very demanding careers.

[Anonymous]

Half the women in Vienna are SAHPs or work very part time. Cheap old housing stock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of them - NW DC

Same. Arlington

[Anonymous]

With marriages so fragile, its a big risk. I was a SAHP myself but wouldn't recommend it to my DD as times have changed. Not only that but women can no more gain social expectance from other women without some sort of job title.

[Anonymous]

*acceptance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With marriages so fragile, its a big risk. I was a SAHP myself but wouldn't recommend it to my DD as times have changed. Not only that but women can no more gain social expectance from other women without some sort of job title.

Are they? Divorce rate is not as much as it was and over 500k in income is 25% or less. Much less further up the income scale where SAHP reside.

[Anonymous]

The problem is that families used to be able to live a decent lifestyle on one income with a stay-at-home parent - usually Mom. Jobs were long-term, came with healthcare, and people could retire with a pension. Those days are gone with the wind.

I’m a SAHM, but I feel like the last of a dying breed. I worry that my kids won’t be able to do the same for their families. I worked before starting a family, but DH and I both wanted me at home because we didn’t have any local family to help and one of our kids had SNs.

[Anonymous]

In my Chevy Chase neighborhood, of the women with kids under 18, I would guess maybe 15% are SAHMs, another 25% work PT, and 60% work FT based on anecdotal interactions.

Those who are PT are teachers, interior designers, tutors, and writers mostly.

[Anonymous]

Tons in McLean. I work and have only one friend who works. Every other woman is a SAHM. Kids are all in elementary or older.

[Anonymous]

At our Bethesda preschool, maybe 15% of the moms are SAHMs, another 25%-ish are part time, and the remainder work.

One of my kids’ teachers told us that when her kids attended the same preschool 15 years ago, most of the mothers were SAHMs. Now, she has observed that most work FT.

I suspect it has everything to do with cost of living increases as Bethesda has become trendier, with more retail and more expensive homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With marriages so fragile, its a big risk. I was a SAHP myself but wouldn't recommend it to my DD as times have changed. Not only that but women can no more gain social expectance from other women without some sort of job title.

My mother was a SAHP .. Still is. Absolutely didn't want that for myself.
I tried ... was not for me. To each their own. Do what works best for you and your family.