How many SAHPs do you know in the DMV?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s with the sahp hate? I know a lot. All college educated, many with masters.

Full pay or subsidized tuition?

😬

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a ton of us in North Arlington. Those I know have degrees, many of us with advanced degrees, but took a break when we got burnt out and never went back.

This is me. As long as one parent makes enough to support the family, what's the issue?

[Anonymous]

I’m actually surprised so many are saying they know so few. I work and live in same area and there are quite a few. I never thought much about it though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in Arlington with kids in elementary, and I only know a handful of SAHPs. What’s far more common is when one parent (usually the mom) works part time. I know a bunch of those.

I live in Arlington and have kids in private school. I’m a SAHM and have tons of friends who are. We have a pretty great community, tbh. Some have gone back so it’s not as big as the kindergarten years but my kids are in high school and there are still plenty of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM in Bethesda. There are many stay at home mothers where I live.

When my kids were little, about a third of the mothers at my kids' preschool stayed home. My friend group started out with mothers who had quit their jobs to look after their children. Most of us have advanced degrees. Gradually, most returned to part-time or full time employment. I'm the last one of my group to stay home, and now that my firstborn with special needs has clawed his way into a decent college (woohoo!), I'm currently pivoting to return to the workforce.

Since staying home depends on the household income (earned by the other spouse or inherited or otherwise acquired), you will meet more of them in wealthy neighborhoods.

This, so many moms with BAs and advanced degrees taking time off to be SAHMs but many return to PT jobs at least by the time their kids are in HS or older for fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in Arlington with kids in elementary, and I only know a handful of SAHPs. What’s far more common is when one parent (usually the mom) works part time. I know a bunch of those.

I live in Arlington and have kids in private school. I’m a SAHM and have tons of friends who are. We have a pretty great community, tbh. Some have gone back so it’s not as big as the kindergarten years but my kids are in high school and there are still plenty of us.

We are probably friends

[Anonymous]

It’s the people who run the PTA, booster clubs and charity gala/auctions. Mom‘s working 40 to 60 hours a week Don’t have time to do all that!

[Anonymous]

Are you sure the women were never sahm?

In the 25 years since my oldest was born I have worked a very intense job well over 40 hrs per week, a regular full time job, stayed at home for 5 years worked half time twice. People I met during any of the times other than the 5 years staying at home (which was in the middle) wouldn’t necessarily know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in DC proper and I don't know a single one.

We are in upper NW and know tons, 5 on my block alone. All have advance ddegrees and professions prior to have kids in their 30s, and all still do varous types of work activiities though witout pay or very low pay (writers, artists, philathropy, Board work, long term non-profit volunteer work).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I became a SAHM at 40 with 2 kids. I would say in terms of annual HHI we are at top 5% for DMV. Kids are done with college, married/engaged,

I am an immigrant so I was not judged for being a SAHM. Besides, most people from my country of origin knew our academic and career credentials, our family background etc - so, being a SAHM was clearly my own choice.

Also - I did not become a SAHM because a lack of education, socialization, culture etc. My kids were top performers in school/college etc and generally have done well in their life - so it was also not due to a SN situation etc. IRL, I was not considered to be a doormat or a gravy train rider because I was home.

Now DCUM is another matter.

I'm curious what this means.

Even in cultures where SAH is very common in heritage country the subpopulation who emigrates is different.

In USA, I associate SAH with highly religious families, especially ones with many kids.

In my immigrant circle everyone from my country of origin understood the value of our academic credentials and the prestige of the universities DH and I graduated from. Also, both of us came from well known, privileged and influential families back home. I did not have to work for financial reasons. I did not have to scrimp on anything if I was staying at home.

[Anonymous]

I was a SAHP for five years and then went back to work full-time remote with flexible hours. For years, many people at school thought I was still a SAHP. I still run into people who ask if I ever went back to work or what am I doing with my time.

You never know.

[Anonymous]

I work, but know many.

Well over half of my neighborhood is SAHM. I’m in an exurb with $1-2M homes.

[Anonymous]

Same in my moco suburb. About half of the neighborhood has a SAHP. Mostly moms, but a few dads.

[Anonymous]

There are many in my neighborhood but we are in a less expensive part of NOVA with a lot of military folks. They comprise most of the SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

Back when my kids were small I knew a ton, but most of them went back to work during ES or MS. Now that my kids are in HS I know very few. DH’s income has gotten so high that I can do what I want. I choose to work very PT.