Why do women put men front and center?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious, OP, would it be fine with you if your daughter never married? I feel like that’s the natural endpoint of decentering men. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that, just wondering if people are mostly ok with the prospect of just remaining single.

This^. Pendulum is going towards another extreme.

[Anonymous]

For what it’s worth most of my friends from Princeton have succeeded tremendously in their careers and have married men who support them and appreciate their careers. It’s a win win financially these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious, OP, would it be fine with you if your daughter never married? I feel like that’s the natural endpoint of decentering men. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that, just wondering if people are mostly ok with the prospect of just remaining single.

OP here. I will absolutely be fine with that. One of the reason I asked this was because my niece chose not go to law school because her boyfriend threatened to break up with her if she moved across the country to attend law school. And he is not even a fiance crazy....Of course some will argue it's a "her" problem. But is it really a "her only" problem? In my opinion, of course I could be totally wrong, more women will, for example, opt to say with their bf over going to law school in that scenario. How many men do you think will make a similar sacrifice? Most men first instinct will be that another woman will be waiting for them when they are done.

She is an adult with autonomy. She can 100% choose the life she wants, the man she wants, the career she wants. She has priorities that are different from yours. She is a woman and women get to have their own priorities and choices and decisions. She is exercising her agency and making the choices SHE wants to make.

This^. She isn't your prized horse or someone's cow, as a human she can choose for herself.

[Anonymous]

Because of money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For what it’s worth most of my friends from Princeton have succeeded tremendously in their careers and have married men who support them and appreciate their careers. It’s a win win financially these days.

Its no more possible to survive on one income, unless you are wealthy or don't have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's more than just in literature or movies. From the time I was a teenager, relatives or even random friends of my parents were always asking if I had a boyfriend. By the time I was in law school it was whether I was dating someone I was going to marry. It's one million tiny little messages that say no matter how smart you are, no matter what you're actually interested in, no matter what your career, your community is judging you based on your mate.

Where are you from? I'm from a South Asian immigrant community and even for us, that's not the case any more. Women are required to have degrees, careers and income. If they don't for whatever reason, society looks down upon them. They don't have a choice, whether they want to or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone wants the career or the great job. Some just wnat to be a wife and a mom. They are just working the job until they get what they really want. They aren't giving up to center the man, they are giving it up because they never wanted a career and wanted their role in life to be wife and mom.

The women I know who thrive on being wife / mom also have traditional gender role views where they want a man who looks after them financially and who supports them in life and in being a wife / mom, and who protects them and is their rock.

That is the life they want. They are doing the role they want and have a man who is also in the role they want.

My adoptive mother always said she was not a feminist, she had her identity in being a wife and mom. The problem is, she is better at being a wife than a mom. Once her kids grew past young childhood, her skills and EQ were not much help to us. In adulthood, I am estranged from my family and my brother is an entitled codependent mess, though she denies this and inserts herself into his life (and his second wife’s). She has alienated a lot of people and even though she is very (some might say over-)involved in her church, it seems like it’s just because their numbers and dwindling and she is willing to do the work. I don’t think she is very much liked.

If you put your man front and center and he’s a jerk, it rubs off on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious, OP, would it be fine with you if your daughter never married? I feel like that’s the natural endpoint of decentering men. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that, just wondering if people are mostly ok with the prospect of just remaining single.

Why are your only two options

-Have men front and center in all aspects of womens lives
or
-Be single

?

Do you give men the same option?

Men are optional. Women don't need them anymore for anything. Want a family? Have your own baby. Want money have your own career. Men are outdated and unessesary.

Even if you prefer children to be fatherless, where would you get sperm donors?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's more than just in literature or movies. From the time I was a teenager, relatives or even random friends of my parents were always asking if I had a boyfriend. By the time I was in law school it was whether I was dating someone I was going to marry. It's one million tiny little messages that say no matter how smart you are, no matter what you're actually interested in, no matter what your career, your community is judging you based on your mate.

Where are you from? I'm from a South Asian immigrant community and even for us, that's not the case any more. Women are required to have degrees, careers and income. If they don't for whatever reason, society looks down upon them. They don't have a choice, whether they want to or not.

I am surprised by that too. I keep seeing that women say they grew up in environments where all the messages were that the only worth or value a woman has is as a wife and mother. I have no idea where they grew up as that is foreign to me! I grew up in a very conservative and Christian church and family and even there education and career was encouraged. Yes, people in that environment thought that marriage and family is important (for men and women) but the women were certainly not reduced to that as people.

Women outnumber men in post secondary education so that just doesn't fit with a societal view that women have been raised to be wives and mothers and nothing else.

[Anonymous]

Probably genetics would tweak animal eggs to be used and with robotic sex partners, uteruses and nannies, women would also become obsolete. Men can have their oen income, kids and helpers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone wants the career or the great job. Some just wnat to be a wife and a mom. They are just working the job until they get what they really want. They aren't giving up to center the man, they are giving it up because they never wanted a career and wanted their role in life to be wife and mom.

The women I know who thrive on being wife / mom also have traditional gender role views where they want a man who looks after them financially and who supports them in life and in being a wife / mom, and who protects them and is their rock.

That is the life they want. They are doing the role they want and have a man who is also in the role they want.

My adoptive mother always said she was not a feminist, she had her identity in being a wife and mom. The problem is, she is better at being a wife than a mom. Once her kids grew past young childhood, her skills and EQ were not much help to us. In adulthood, I am estranged from my family and my brother is an entitled codependent mess, though she denies this and inserts herself into his life (and his second wife’s). She has alienated a lot of people and even though she is very (some might say over-)involved in her church, it seems like it’s just because their numbers and dwindling and she is willing to do the work. I don’t think she is very much liked.

If you put your man front and center and he’s a jerk, it rubs off on you.

It sounds like your mother just isn't a very nice or likeable person and the outcome in terms of who she is and how she acts would probably be the same whether she worked or not. Men and women can be likeable or unlikeable people, can be good or bad mothers / fathers etc due to their personality, priorities, choices etc. I don't think your mother was a jerk because of centering a man, she was just a jerk herself as a person. With her personality, she probably would have been just as bad at a job and at getting along with people in the workplace as she was at being a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because of money

No. Most women can earn as much money if they are single but most women also want romance, social value of being desired, getting proposed, showing off their ring, planning a wedding, looking like a princess for a day, share honeymoon stories, kids and home etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious, OP, would it be fine with you if your daughter never married? I feel like that’s the natural endpoint of decentering men. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that, just wondering if people are mostly ok with the prospect of just remaining single.

Why are your only two options

-Have men front and center in all aspects of womens lives
or
-Be single

?

Do you give men the same option?

Men are optional. Women don't need them anymore for anything. Want a family? Have your own baby. Want money have your own career. Men are outdated and unessesary.

Even if you prefer children to be fatherless, where would you get sperm donors?

Are you stupid?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For what it’s worth most of my friends from Princeton have succeeded tremendously in their careers and have married men who support them and appreciate their careers. It’s a win win financially these days.

High value partners will not have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious, OP, would it be fine with you if your daughter never married? I feel like that’s the natural endpoint of decentering men. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that, just wondering if people are mostly ok with the prospect of just remaining single.

Why are your only two options

-Have men front and center in all aspects of womens lives
or
-Be single

?

Do you give men the same option?

Men are optional. Women don't need them anymore for anything. Want a family? Have your own baby. Want money have your own career. Men are outdated and unessesary.

Even if you prefer children to be fatherless, where would you get sperm donors?

Are you stupid?!

Evidently you are since you can't seem to answer where you get sperm from.