What happened to young men?

[Anonymous]

I have a 17 yo ds who is very shy with girls and tends to hang with his circle of guys but he does socialize quite a bit. I’m grateful he has an older sister who gets him talking and more interactive. I hope his comfort increases because he has access to a girl in his family he’s comfortable with. Dd is the same though, doesn’t give a fig about guys really and is 19. They’ll figure it out I’m sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was at a mixed ages party with a lot of young adults but the guys weren’t going to the women and mingling with them.
Is the culture changed so much young guys are afraid of talking to young women in real life.
I am asking as a middle aged guy.

They have no social skills, don’t know to properly approach a lady, or ask them out on a date. Don’t know how to communicate or have a woman. Too much social media, screen time, p0rn. Don’t understand how to woo a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at a mixed ages party with a lot of young adults but the guys weren’t going to the women and mingling with them.
Is the culture changed so much young guys are afraid of talking to young women in real life.
I am asking as a middle aged guy.

They have no social skills, don’t know to properly approach a lady, or ask them out on a date. Don’t know how to communicate or have a woman. Too much social media, screen time, p0rn. Don’t understand how to woo a woman.

Agree no also notice they don’t even know common courtesy, not just dating stuff. They don’t open doors for anyone, don’t offer seats, don’t say please or thank you, don’t walk in a courteous way with a date (her speed, curbside, etc), don’t offer things like water or whatever when at home, generally are just milquetoast losers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at a mixed ages party with a lot of young adults but the guys weren’t going to the women and mingling with them.
Is the culture changed so much young guys are afraid of talking to young women in real life.
I am asking as a middle aged guy.

They have no social skills, don’t know to properly approach a lady, or ask them out on a date. Don’t know how to communicate or have a woman. Too much social media, screen time, p0rn. Don’t understand how to woo a woman.

Why should women be woo'd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at a mixed ages party with a lot of young adults but the guys weren’t going to the women and mingling with them.
Is the culture changed so much young guys are afraid of talking to young women in real life.
I am asking as a middle aged guy.

They have no social skills, don’t know to properly approach a lady, or ask them out on a date. Don’t know how to communicate or have a woman. Too much social media, screen time, p0rn. Don’t understand how to woo a woman.

Agree no also notice they don’t even know common courtesy, not just dating stuff. They don’t open doors for anyone, don’t offer seats, don’t say please or thank you, don’t walk in a courteous way with a date (her speed, curbside, etc), don’t offer things like water or whatever when at home, generally are just milquetoast losers.

My daughter can open her own doors and isn’t so fragile that she needs to sit, so the death of those misogynistic habits won’t be mourned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at a mixed ages party with a lot of young adults but the guys weren’t going to the women and mingling with them.
Is the culture changed so much young guys are afraid of talking to young women in real life.
I am asking as a middle aged guy.

They have no social skills, don’t know to properly approach a lady, or ask them out on a date. Don’t know how to communicate or have a woman. Too much social media, screen time, p0rn. Don’t understand how to woo a woman.

Agree no also notice they don’t even know common courtesy, not just dating stuff. They don’t open doors for anyone, don’t offer seats, don’t say please or thank you, don’t walk in a courteous way with a date (her speed, curbside, etc), don’t offer things like water or whatever when at home, generally are just milquetoast losers.

My daughter can open her own doors and isn’t so fragile that she needs to sit, so the death of those misogynistic habits won’t be mourned.

right none of that matters if good looking or deep pocket which is 5/10% of men so rest need not bother - so is this thread

[Anonymous]

So, basically, groups of young people were content talking with friends and OP and other middle age dudes were leering at the younger women wondering why the guys weren't hitting on them. Gross. Young people aren't the problem in this scenario.

I just went to a high school "reunion" event with college age DS and got a chance to catch up with all his high school friends' parents. Out of 10 guys, like 8 or 9 have girlfriends. Even my autistic 17 y/o went on his first date recently. I joined a speed puzzling club thinking it would be all middle aged women like me and it's mostly younger women having fun with friends. I love that young people place a high priority on friendship, and I don't see it affecting their ability to date and find a partner *if they want to*.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 17 yo ds who is very shy with girls and tends to hang with his circle of guys but he does socialize quite a bit. I’m grateful he has an older sister who gets him talking and more interactive. I hope his comfort increases because he has access to a girl in his family he’s comfortable with. Dd is the same though, doesn’t give a fig about guys really and is 19. They’ll figure it out I’m sure.

What the actual F? Why do you make it sound so predatory?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was at a mixed ages party with a lot of young adults but the guys weren’t going to the women and mingling with them.
Is the culture changed so much young guys are afraid of talking to young women in real life.
I am asking as a middle aged guy.

They aren't gay or they'll be very comfortable befriending women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at a mixed ages party with a lot of young adults but the guys weren’t going to the women and mingling with them.
Is the culture changed so much young guys are afraid of talking to young women in real life.
I am asking as a middle aged guy.

They have no social skills, don’t know to properly approach a lady, or ask them out on a date. Don’t know how to communicate or have a woman. Too much social media, screen time, p0rn. Don’t understand how to woo a woman.

Agree no also notice they don’t even know common courtesy, not just dating stuff. They don’t open doors for anyone, don’t offer seats, don’t say please or thank you, don’t walk in a courteous way with a date (her speed, curbside, etc), don’t offer things like water or whatever when at home, generally are just milquetoast losers.

My daughter can open her own doors and isn’t so fragile that she needs to sit, so the death of those misogynistic habits won’t be mourned.

Well good for her… 👏

[Anonymous]

I go out to bars frequented by 20-somethings and there is some truth to this. I've literally seen people ignoring the other people in the bar and swiping through Tinder. It's odd to me. And there are a lot of women in some of my FB groups that only date online and don't meet guys in person despite being at a prime age for meeting guys in public spaces.

[Anonymous]

95% of young men are losers. They are invisible to women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean the young women weren't harassed like when you were young?

The horror! They can actually attend parties, eat, drink and chat like actual human beings, without being followed, surrounded, or need to watch their drink the entire time.

Instead, if they're interested in a young man their age, they can go up to him and start a conversation, peer-to-peer.

How sad for them, OP.

But the issue is they don't go up to guys. And guys don't go up to them out of fear, ever though woman naturally expect them the male to approach.

We can worry about that later. For now, less harassment is a win.

Sure. But absolutely no young man is going to know whether their approach to a young woman is going to be deemed flirting or harassment. And social media makes the consequences of misjudging and a shoot down enormous. These boys grew up while men like Al Franken were absolutely destroyed for... No one knows why Al Franken was destroyed. But it had to do with a mild joke relating to a woman. He got wrecked for it. A smart guy, a US Senator, trying to do the right thing, and he got destroyed for a very mid and harmless joke from a long time ago.

So these boys grew up with that and MeToo. And they learned that talking to women is incredibly dangerous. You can destroy your entire life with a bad joke or a woman rejecting him and posting on social media about it. Off the top of my head, I'm thinking about an awkward date Aziz Ansari had. That date posted all about it online and it nearly destroyed this man's career.

The lesson these young men have learned is that flirting is dangerous business today. Combine that with the covid isolation, which definitely affected social skills, and the damn phones, and it's not a great time for a young man to take a risk and talk to a woman today.

It's sad and pathetic. But the lameness of young men today is not entirely irrational. And they have their porn. So a lot of them are checked out and don't even try.

Could we stop with the tired trope that modern life makes it dangerous for men to speak to women? Me too was not about men talking to women, it was about men touching women without consent and using their positions of employment to socially coerce women into unwanted sexual relationships.

And Al Franken wasn’t “destroyed for a very a mild and harmless joke from a long time ago”, he had 6+ accusations of groping against him, including one picture that became publicly circulated in which he was either pretending or actually touching a sleeping female colleague. He publicly acknowledged she had not consented to the touching or photo and said,” I am ashamed of that photo," Franken told Minnesota Public Radio. "She didn’t have any ability to consent. She had every right to feel violated by that photo. I have apologized to her. I was very grateful that she accepted my apology. That is all I can say. My intent doesn’t matter. What matters is that she felt the way she felt from this photo and for that I am ashamed.”

https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/sen-franken-embarassed-groping-claims-rebuild-trust/story?id=51394106
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/07/us/politics/al-franken-senate-sexual-harassment.html

Frankenstein chose to resign from his position in order to avoid a Senate Ethics Investigation, not because he was forced to resign.

It really doesn’t help today’s male youth to minimize the ways in which men have freely violated women for centuries. It’s not actually that hard not to touch a woman without her permission, and not to treat her cruelly or unequally. It’s just that men don’t want to give up these privileges.

It’s not helpful to re-write and minimize the past.

You mean allegations like this: " 'We posed for the shot. He immediately put his hand on my waist, grabbing a handful of flesh. I froze. Then he squeezed. At least twice,' Dupuy wrote."

If that can get a man canceled, many young men may choose to avoid the risk. The line is too fuzzy and no one ever believes the man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean the young women weren't harassed like when you were young?

The horror! They can actually attend parties, eat, drink and chat like actual human beings, without being followed, surrounded, or need to watch their drink the entire time.

Instead, if they're interested in a young man their age, they can go up to him and start a conversation, peer-to-peer.

How sad for them, OP.

Exhibit A of an effed up parent

What else did you expect we respond to such a provocative thread? You wanted to start a fight, there you go.

It's stupid of you to try to generalize from one party you attended, I hope you realize this.

I have college-aged kids and believe me, they're socializing.

But I respond in kind to your type of moronic thread.

the OP was dumb, but you came off a LOT worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:95% of young men are losers. They are invisible to women.

WTH, awful attitude, no hope for ya!