No one is RSVP-ing for my party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I'm usually very sympathetic as I'm a planner and hate when people don't reply and are hard to plan with or don't commit. But a lot of things here as PPs are saying:

- real paper mail is adding a lot of steps for people. I just sent out evites for my kid bday and people were replying within minutes. They see it on their phone and can immediately take action. The paper invite sits on my table and gets lost in the shuffle.

- if you include a date, you can't expect people to reply earlier. Probably some people know they are a No if they are out of town but a lot of ambiguous plans in that period - family coming to visit or local travel that isn't solidified.

- that date is just tough. I had a party that week once but I reached out to a couple ppl first to see if they were around/free so I knew we had a core group before making it a bigger thing. We do this for a lot of long weekends like summer bbqs etc too.

I do this all the time. So if I were mailing 30 invitations out, I would have already confirmed that my 8 favorite couples could come on that date.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Is this people with children, or older people? People with children are all going to be out of town by then.

People just get on here and say whatever, I swear

Do you really know multiple families who will just be home without plans over winter vacation?

Uh, yeah, it's end-of-year close for a lot of people

Most people I know work at offices that close that last week.

The finance team is probably working!

Finance and accounting ALWAYS have to work yet their work is not valued.

Our accounting firm closes that week. It’s a medium sized regional firm.

I work for a Big 4 and our firm is closed as well but I imagine PP meant the finance/accounting people who are in house.

[Anonymous]

Start with your closest friends and directly ask if they can make it

[Anonymous]

Send some invites to weaker acquaintances you might like to get to know better.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I appreciate the candid feedback. Most attendees are family/close friends who’ve indicated verbally they’ll be attending. I otherwise sent out the invite to a handful of local acquaintances in hopes they’ll attend.

I hear what everyone is saying on it being a “bad” date. Maybe so. My interpretation of the Christmas season is forgiveness, togetherness and cheer - I did not plan this party to punish people or add to their stress. It’s a party. I throw great parties. I know Covid has made people more comfortable in their digital cocoons than interacting IRL, but our primal selves long for connection. Stop scolding me on the gosh darn date.

What are you complaining about? sounds like they RSVPed yes.

+1. OP writes that “no one” RSVPed for her party and then adds later than close family/friends are attending.

Yes, but obviously all her close family are also BIPOC. It’s the white people who are failing to rsvp here.

Wow. Blaming white people haha.

- if the shoe fits

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m having a holiday party Saturday, the 27th. I sent out thirty invitations last Monday, and asked invitees to RSVP via text by the 13th. So far I have received three responses. Is this normal?

yes, it is normal--adults choose what events they want to go to and whether to respond to a request for attendance. No one is required to respond to every question asked of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m having a holiday party Saturday, the 27th. I sent out thirty invitations last Monday, and asked invitees to RSVP via text by the 13th. So far I have received three responses. Is this normal?

COME BACK OP

[Anonymous]

Did you go into evite settings & see who viewed it.

I think a lady on 27th is nice idea -the tie up to Christmas is so busy.

I would guess 1/3-1/2 attendance or maybe OP’s circle doesn’t celebrate Christmas & it won’t be an issue.

[Anonymous]

As others mentioned I used to set the date based on what worked for our closest friends. I did get sick of the lack of the RSVPs, the last-minute change of plans, the complaining that now they have to attend 2 parties, etc. It was a lot of work and over the years I stopped enjoying it and it wasn't special for our kids. So, I stopped. Now we just make plans with those we are closest to, and we go to a restaurant or event. No work, no major expense, and no big deal if they cancel, we'll still go. Interesting to note those who drove us nuts over the years with complaints about the date, last minute cancellation, not RSVPing, showing up and being rude or whatever-THOSE are the people who pester us each year to have an annual party again and they say they miss it?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As others mentioned I used to set the date based on what worked for our closest friends. I did get sick of the lack of the RSVPs, the last-minute change of plans, the complaining that now they have to attend 2 parties, etc. It was a lot of work and over the years I stopped enjoying it and it wasn't special for our kids. So, I stopped. Now we just make plans with those we are closest to, and we go to a restaurant or event. No work, no major expense, and no big deal if they cancel, we'll still go. Interesting to note those who drove us nuts over the years with complaints about the date, last minute cancellation, not RSVPing, showing up and being rude or whatever-THOSE are the people who pester us each year to have an annual party again and they say they miss it?!

+1 that those are also the people who complain no one throws parties.

I am also shocked by how many people fail to RSVP but show up anyway. I went to a party last weekend and checked the RSVPs to see who was going. A number of my friends had not RSVP’ed but showed up anyway. I made a comment that I didn’t realize they were going to make it and they responded “oh, [hostess] knew we would attend; we come every year!” Really?

OP, I am curious to hear how many RSVP’ed.

[Anonymous]

[youtube]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m having a holiday party Saturday, the 27th. I sent out thirty invitations last Monday, and asked invitees to RSVP via text by the 13th. So far I have received three responses. Is this normal?

COME BACK OP

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m having a holiday party Saturday, the 27th. I sent out thirty invitations last Monday, and asked invitees to RSVP via text by the 13th. So far I have received three responses. Is this normal?

yes, it is normal--adults choose what events they want to go to and whether to respond to a request for attendance. No one is required to respond to every question asked of them.

Well if you’d like to be invited the next time you should respond one way or the other. It’s probably okay to ignore a party invite but please rsvp to weddings.

[Anonymous]

12/27 is admittedly a bad time to have a party but throwing parties in this area is so annoying I stopped doing it. People all think they’re the most important person ever. They RSVP and don’t show. They don’t RSVPs. They RSVP no and make sure to tell you it’s because they’re just sooooo busy. They RSVP and show up 2 hours late. Every party became a hassle so I just started organizing small things with individual families who were fun and reliable. I’m not surprised at all op is having so much trouble getting responses.

[Anonymous]

Maybe that's a bad date? I just attended a party yesterday that had been rescheduled from originally the 21st because too many people were going to be out of town on the original date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe that's a bad date? I just attended a party yesterday that had been rescheduled from originally the 21st because too many people were going to be out of town on the original date.

That has nothing to do with RSVP-ing to an event. If you can’t attend, RSVP no.