No one is RSVP-ing for my party

[Anonymous]

I am a huge fan of snail mail and I used to mail invites for my own holiday party, and I finally gave it up and went digital a few years ago. People don't check their mail, it gets opened and put down and lost forever, people forget the RSVP due date or the date of the party itself, etc. I'm all about the automatic reminders and the ability to communicate with people about party logistics that the digital platforms allow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I get that you might think this isn’t a good day for a party - fine, but in that case, why not just RSVP no? I’m not concerned about whether people are attending or not - rather, that they are not indicating which it will be.

Communication, people. This is my qualm.

It took me years to get that "didn't RSVP" meant "No, I'm not coming." Get, not accept.

Except in one case. One person RSVP'd YES on the eve of the party and then showed up. Luckily, a different rude person changed RSVP from YES to NO the morning of the party, so it worked out seamlessly.

If being +1 or -1 person for your party is going to cause such a crisis, that does not sound like a fun party vibe.

[Anonymous]

OP I'm usually very sympathetic as I'm a planner and hate when people don't reply and are hard to plan with or don't commit. But a lot of things here as PPs are saying:

- real paper mail is adding a lot of steps for people. I just sent out evites for my kid bday and people were replying within minutes. They see it on their phone and can immediately take action. The paper invite sits on my table and gets lost in the shuffle.

- if you include a date, you can't expect people to reply earlier. Probably some people know they are a No if they are out of town but a lot of ambiguous plans in that period - family coming to visit or local travel that isn't solidified.

- that date is just tough. I had a party that week once but I reached out to a couple ppl first to see if they were around/free so I knew we had a core group before making it a bigger thing. We do this for a lot of long weekends like summer bbqs etc too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I get that you might think this isn’t a good day for a party - fine, but in that case, why not just RSVP no? I’m not concerned about whether people are attending or not - rather, that they are not indicating which it will be.

Communication, people. This is my qualm.

Have you chatted with people since you sent them out, and they haven't brought it up in conversation? or you havent?

I throw plenty of parties and usually end up seeing these people and informally inviting them or just mentioning it in conversation within a few days.

Who are you inviting? How well do you know them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not a great night to have a party, honestly. Everyone will be holiday-ed out or still entertaining family or traveling. People are probably not planning on coming but haven't RSVPed No yet. I find people are quick to RSVP Yes and hold off on saying No, if they do at all.

This. Tough date to host a friends party. If a typical wash out rate is 30%, I’d estimate 50% at best and lots of last minute changes (attending and not attending).

[Anonymous]

NP here.

I entertain often. I usually call my guests beforehand to let them know that they are being invited and that I will be sending them the evite. Then I immediately send the evite. My close friends know to respond immediately. Of course, I also send it around a month or 5 weeks before the event itself - which is common in our circle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's a tough day to commit to.

This is why no one is RSVP’ing. Glass half full: they want to come but can’t commit. So they leave it open ended.

[Anonymous]

OP, If I was your friend, I would love to come to your party, but as of today, my extended family is still settling on a date to get together. If forced, it’s a no.

P.S. I am white so you can stop with your racist judgment. I read your previous post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m having a holiday party Saturday, the 27th. I sent out thirty invitations last Monday, and asked invitees to RSVP via text by the 13th. So far I have received three responses. Is this normal?

This is terrible and I’m so sorry op! People can be so mean.

BTW, are you BIPOC? Are the people who are not RSVP-ing white by chance?

Thank you! Yes I am and yes they are - how did you know? Haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's a tough day to commit to.

This is why no one is RSVP’ing. Glass half full: they want to come but can’t commit. So they leave it open ended.

That would be me exactly. We always have something on that date, a family thing from DH's side but I never know when until closer, maybe the 20th. If I was up to the RSVP deadline though, I would RSVP no. I also believe in my circle, if people don't RSVP, they aren't coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry to say that the days/nights right before and after Christmas and after Hanukkah are going to be busy for people. But I hope you get more RSVPs! And unfortunately people are taking longer to RSVP/forgetting altogether more than usual, I've noticed.

+1 Depends on your social circle, but a lot of people will be travelling or have family plans on December 27.

[Anonymous]

Why would you pick Christmas weekend for a party? How inconsiderate. That's why no one is coming. Everyone will be with their family or on the road traveling.

[Anonymous]

If you sent out snail mail invites last week, at least 50% of your non-respondees haven't even noticed the invite yet. I leave my mail in my mailbox for weeks at a time. I usually receive one important piece of mail per year. Maybe two.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Is this people with children, or older people? People with children are all going to be out of town by then.

People just get on here and say whatever, I swear

Do you really know multiple families who will just be home without plans over winter vacation?

Uh, yeah, it's end-of-year close for a lot of people

Most people I know work at offices that close that last week.

The finance team is probably working!

Finance and accounting ALWAYS have to work yet their work is not valued.

Our accounting firm closes that week. It’s a medium sized regional firm.

[Anonymous]

Sorry this happened. That’s not a good feeling. I think it’s a combo of
1) tough time- between Christmas and new years people are either traveling or burned out
2) maybe sending out too early. More than 3 weeks feels far away so I may not rsvp immediately because plans aren’t set
3) I think rsvp by 12/13 is also early.