There are a lot of single women looking

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am (47) recently divorced and finally checked out the apps for the first time. I am interested in women 37 and older. I was very surprised by the huge number of single women in this age bracket. Of course, it doesn't mean I am who they are looking for and it's probably more likely than I am not. But I went through a lot of well put together profiles and I am just surprised all these women are single. Yes there are probably more women than men in this age group, but it's as if all of them are single.

If I were to lower my age range to 30, it's probably going to be a similar story. But 10 years age gap is the most I'll go for as I am looking beyond just hooking up.

So guys out there who are single and looking, you have choices.

Speaking as a fellow divorced guy, you're missing the reason why these women are single: Higher standards. Women don't see being single the way they did back when you were last on the market.

20 years ago, a woman single in her 30s and 40s would settle for some guy she wasn't particularly attracted to and knew she was going to end up divorcing. The goal was just to get a marriage under the belt because "divorced" at 40 was better than never married at 40.

Nowadays, women are happy to stay single the rest of their lives rather than settle. This is triply true for women who are divorced. A lot of them hated being married and living with a man, and need a really, really, really good offer to consider going back to it.

So, while there are a lot of single women on the market, your chances are probably worse nowadays than they were 20 years ago. The lady who is going to want to get serious and actually stay with you isn't going to be as hot, smart, or emotionally stable as the one who would've wanted you 20 years ago. The woman you think is ideal will break up with you after three to six months today, if she even shows up to date #2.

I'm not going to give my take on whether women's standards today make sense or if the problem is men or whatever. Just laying out the scene.

OP here. Thanks for making excellent points. In fact I am talking to a woman who is 41 and I picked up many of the points that you made. At first I thought it's because I have been out of the market for 22 years, but then I realized the expectations are just not the same anymore. I don't have an opinion whether it's good or bad, but I am finding the journey interesting. This woman I'm taking to she is gorgeous. She has never been married, she has no kids, she owns her house and has a great career. I think she is talking to me just out of interest because she told me straight out that she wants to experience what my first wife experienced (all the milestones etc) and she rightfully said she won't be able to experience that with a divorced man.

Yep, that's what I'm talking about. 20 years ago, she'd have taken a twice divorced dad of 10 kids just to get married ASAP and she'dve stuck with him. Now? If she ever decides to get hitched, big IF there, then she'll pop out a kid in a hurry. After that, she'll start giving the guy a side eye. Countdown to the divorce. A couple of years tops. What she really wanted was the experience and the kid, and then back to her freedom. Seen it over and over. Not saying it's good or bad. Just saying times have changed.

Freedoms from what?

Freedom to do what?

My response:

Freed from : 24/7 labor at work AND home that takes my time away from things and people that truly interest me. Freedom from my exH old and idiotic friends, his rude behavior, constant control, need to praise him, need to open legs every night every when I don't want to and tired because there is "spousal duty".

Freedom to: focus on people and things that matter to me, and on my own well being.

Freedom from your poor choices and freedom from the responsibility to engage daily in a close interpersonal relationship which requires understanding, maturity, and sacrifice.

It takes a lot to make a relationship work beyond the early honeymoon stage. Some folks respond with growth and others cannot handle the maturation factors needed to make a long-term relationship survive. To do so requires understanding, respect for both your partner and for yourself, and sacrifice.

Some folks just choose to stop growing. And that's okay so long as dependent children are not involved.

Most men reject all of what you write and it shows.
They don’t work on marital relationships or children relationships nor “choose to grow” as an adult with adult responsibilities.

Oh, men shouldn't have to do such things. Every man is entitled to a woman, you see, and we have a "responsibility" to stay with them because that's just one of the laws of biology or physics or something anyway. Any woman who abandons her "responsibility" to stay in a relationship with a man is lacking "maturation factors" and choosing to stop growing!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:For years, I have been called "selfish" on DCUM for being a single mom by choice. Maybe the pendulum is swinging? When I first became a single mom by choice some 15 years ago, it was a bit of a stigma. Now I know tons of fellow DC single moms by choice.

Yes, I'm effectively a parent to 2 lovely small children and 1 utterly lousy teenager I never asked for. I wish I had had the courage to say screw the stigma and be a single mom by choice.

PP here -- I was one of those who thought being a single mom by choice was selfish...until I realized too late through painful experience that most married moms are single moms by force.

How many men actually play a consistent and equal role in the socioemotional lives and moral shaping of their children, much less participate in each of the decisions and responsibilities necessary to raise their child?

They approach parenting as if they're a posh patron at a restaurant who should be handed a menu by a waitress a.k.a. their wife, and asked to select which task suits them at any given time, with selecting nothing at all being a viable option according to their whim. It's disgusting laziness and arrogance.

In the process, they end up being worse than no father at all because their presence corrodes the household. They corrupt the sons in the household into growing up into lazy, arrogant little tools like their fathers who expect to be applauded for rolling over. They send the indelible message to the daughters that men are a special class above women no matter what society claims. They run their wives emotionally and physically into the ground. And then they wait their applause for gaining to continue living in the household and not abandoning the family. An utter clown show.

The amount of cope among moms is epic. So many women who would consider their husbands the most worthless person they know if he were a woman will say stupid things like, "Oh, he's definitely hands on. He helps do laundry and takes the kids out." Implicit in that is a recognition that doing nothing at all is always an option for men, so when he does something, he's a rockstar. That's freaking ridiculous.

I will always regret that I was not a single mom by choice. I thought long and hard about it, but I didn't want my children and I to deal with the stigma. Now, I look over at this tiresome man living in the same house as me and I wish I could just wave a magic wand and make him disappear most days. At least then I wouldn't have to wrangle stupid issues like yes, you should empty the lint from the dryer and yes, if you have to leave chores to go handle a work assignment, then you have to return to the chores and finish them because you don't have a freaking slave here. Mind you, every mom I know would tell you that I have it good because their husbands are even more stupid.

I love your writing style (and the content), never use ChatGPT or AI.

PP here. It's a compliment to me and a reflection on your intelligence that you think my post was written by ChatGPT. Thanks for chiming in.

I’m a writer and I like your writing. I can tell it is not ChatGPT and I hope you never resort to it. The word needs better diction, style, genres, and sarcasm!! And truth!

- woman, going to work now to fire a 46 yo man who doesn’t do his job.

PP here. Thank you both for the compliments and for helping to make the world a better place by holding a mediocre man accountable. Enjoy the firing and please don't be nice about it.

[Anonymous]

As a woman in that demographic the men I met were divorced with no intention of ever settling down again, and were broke and butter from their divorce. None of that is appealing.

[Anonymous]

Women should marry women to have a raise a family. Can you imagine? Two actual functional adults participating in their kids lives and executing all household duties evenly while excelling in their careers? The sex would be great too because, finally, someone who understands a woman’s body. Total utopia, right?

Unfortunately, when women marry women what follows is an extremely high divorce rate - much higher than a hetero marriage or a male/male gay marriage (which is actually the lowest).

This is likely because women actually experience what its like to be married to a woman.

Women can be hyper-critical - the 95% of things that you do right don’t matter. Only the 5% of things that you do wrong matter and they will build up a toxic level of resentment over those things. Try to fix that other 5% and they will be hypercritical over how you’re fixing it and hate the patheticness of your character who cowtowed. They’ll gaslight you about what a bad person you are (read the posts in this thread above for examples). Then, all of a sudden, they shut off all intimacy and sex (google lesbian bed death) and it makes their skin crawl to even consider sleeping with you leaving you feeling disgusting, not good enough and rejected. After that, its on with the subtle mind games where they try to make sure that everything you find enjoyment in is minimized because there’s nothing they hate more than that stupid smile on your face. Because, she’s a great multi-tasker, she also creates friction in your family on a rotating basis. Your dad, your mom, your ahole brother and snob sister. The only reprieve you get is when her hate is zero’d in on her work nemesis. And she manages to do all of this while her friends feed her self-righteousness while really only hoping to sabotage her life because its too perfect.

Being married to this is not easy for anyone but women should try it first before marrying men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a woman in that demographic the men I met were divorced with no intention of ever settling down again, and were broke and butter from their divorce. None of that is appealing.

And you sound like the pick of the litter...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women should marry women to have a raise a family. Can you imagine? Two actual functional adults participating in their kids lives and executing all household duties evenly while excelling in their careers? The sex would be great too because, finally, someone who understands a woman’s body. Total utopia, right?

Unfortunately, when women marry women what follows is an extremely high divorce rate - much higher than a hetero marriage or a male/male gay marriage (which is actually the lowest).

This is likely because women actually experience what its like to be married to a woman.

Women can be hyper-critical - the 95% of things that you do right don’t matter. Only the 5% of things that you do wrong matter and they will build up a toxic level of resentment over those things. Try to fix that other 5% and they will be hypercritical over how you’re fixing it and hate the patheticness of your character who cowtowed. They’ll gaslight you about what a bad person you are (read the posts in this thread above for examples). Then, all of a sudden, they shut off all intimacy and sex (google lesbian bed death) and it makes their skin crawl to even consider sleeping with you leaving you feeling disgusting, not good enough and rejected. After that, its on with the subtle mind games where they try to make sure that everything you find enjoyment in is minimized because there’s nothing they hate more than that stupid smile on your face. Because, she’s a great multi-tasker, she also creates friction in your family on a rotating basis. Your dad, your mom, your ahole brother and snob sister. The only reprieve you get is when her hate is zero’d in on her work nemesis. And she manages to do all of this while her friends feed her self-righteousness while really only hoping to sabotage her life because its too perfect.

Being married to this is not easy for anyone but women should try it first before marrying men.

Someone needs a Xanax stat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The slang term "hoeflation" is a blend of the words "hoe" (a derogatory term for a promiscuous person, usually a woman) and "inflation". It is primarily used in online communities and dating forums by men.
The term is used to describe the perceived increase in effort, money, or self-improvement a man must invest to meet the "inflated" standards or expectations of modern women, particularly those considered to be superficial.
The concept essentially suggests that:
Women have an exaggerated sense of their own attractiveness and value in the dating market.
Average men are "left in the dust" because these women only pursue men perceived as high-value (e.g., very attractive or wealthy), who may be "out of their league".
The overall "cost" (both financial and in terms of effort) for an average man to find a partner has therefore increased significantly.

If you're going to import economics into dating, then you should start with the basics.

For instance, there is no such thing as intrinsic value in economics. The value of an item is simply what buyers are willing to pay to acquire it. Sellers who would be successful must price their wares accordingly.

If your target buyers (the women you consider your equals) don't consider you worth acquiring, then you are a lower value item than you would like to think. The simplest answer is to target buyers at a lower end of the market (the women you erroneously think are beneath you). If you insist on targeting high-end buyers, then you must do market research to figure out what other items valuable to these buyers you can include along with yourself in the hopes that the overall package might be of sufficient value for those buyers. Some items of extra value on the dating market include being extremely courteous, being very attentive to her preferences and needs, being very pleasant company, learning the housekeeping and household running skills that everyone can pick up on but men refuse to etc. This approach, however, requires you to first accept that you're actually not good enough as you are, instead of resenting the higher end buyers that don't want you.

You could also wait and hope for a market disruption that will force higher-end buyers to accept lower value goods. For instance, laws that made women property and stole the value of their labor from them for centuries disrupted the open dating market in favor of men. I don't think those laws are coming back, but I guess you can hope.

Very much enjoyed reading this.

[Anonymous]

It’s called: Go ugly early.

It’s been paying off for decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should marry women to have a raise a family. Can you imagine? Two actual functional adults participating in their kids lives and executing all household duties evenly while excelling in their careers? The sex would be great too because, finally, someone who understands a woman’s body. Total utopia, right?

Unfortunately, when women marry women what follows is an extremely high divorce rate - much higher than a hetero marriage or a male/male gay marriage (which is actually the lowest).

This is likely because women actually experience what its like to be married to a woman.

Women can be hyper-critical - the 95% of things that you do right don’t matter. Only the 5% of things that you do wrong matter and they will build up a toxic level of resentment over those things. Try to fix that other 5% and they will be hypercritical over how you’re fixing it and hate the patheticness of your character who cowtowed. They’ll gaslight you about what a bad person you are (read the posts in this thread above for examples). Then, all of a sudden, they shut off all intimacy and sex (google lesbian bed death) and it makes their skin crawl to even consider sleeping with you leaving you feeling disgusting, not good enough and rejected. After that, its on with the subtle mind games where they try to make sure that everything you find enjoyment in is minimized because there’s nothing they hate more than that stupid smile on your face. Because, she’s a great multi-tasker, she also creates friction in your family on a rotating basis. Your dad, your mom, your ahole brother and snob sister. The only reprieve you get is when her hate is zero’d in on her work nemesis. And she manages to do all of this while her friends feed her self-righteousness while really only hoping to sabotage her life because its too perfect.

Being married to this is not easy for anyone but women should try it first before marrying men.

Someone needs a Xanax stat

Anyone married to a DCUM woman probably does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Tons a single Jewish women in their 30s and 40s

I’m not into them but that’s the majority of my matches on hinge

How do you know that they are single? I’m not Jewish but I’m a married (semi-separated) woman in my 40s on Hinge 😀
I’ve met several men in their 30s and 40s through Hinge who look good and have decent jobs but haven’t dated for a year or more. They say that there is a shortage of women who want to date - many of them ignore their invitations to meet even once.

Late 40s woman. I dated 4 so-called "high quality" men in spring-summer simultaneously. Every single of them had all formal attributes of high value: I would classify them 6-7-7-6. All of them were within 5-10 years of my age, in either direction. Two of them complained they were unable to find a woman who would commit. Anyone they were interested in wouldn't commit to date exclusively

I'm 5'7; 20 BMI ; 48 yo; high NW divorced F.

Did you end up with any of them or what happened?

Also, what's 6776?

6 pack, 7 P, 7 figures income, 6 height. They wanted a GF/cook for them, participate in social calendar, maintain joint household plan retirements together. Exclusive means each wanted me only to date them. Yes, I left all 4 as I didn't fall into any of them seriously. It's very easy for me to date whoever I want and meet men of similar parameters

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is the classic hypergamy. Women do not care about men’s struggles. They wait at the finish line and pick the winner.

If you're a decent looking guy, make a lot of money, be kind to others, and have interesting hobbies such as car racing, play guitar, pickleball etc... you will have endless options with online dating. Congratulation, you are in the top 5%. It is like 95% of women chasing the top 5% men.

Wait, all I have to do to score the babes is be a decent-looking, kind, rich pickleball player?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tons a single Jewish women in their 30s and 40s

I’m not into them but that’s the majority of my matches on hinge

How do you know that they are single? I’m not Jewish but I’m a married (semi-separated) woman in my 40s on Hinge 😀
I’ve met several men in their 30s and 40s through Hinge who look good and have decent jobs but haven’t dated for a year or more. They say that there is a shortage of women who want to date - many of them ignore their invitations to meet even once.

Late 40s woman. I dated 4 so-called "high quality" men in spring-summer simultaneously. Every single of them had all formal attributes of high value: I would classify them 6-7-7-6. All of them were within 5-10 years of my age, in either direction. Two of them complained they were unable to find a woman who would commit. Anyone they were interested in wouldn't commit to date exclusively

I'm 5'7; 20 BMI ; 48 yo; high NW divorced F.

Did you end up with any of them or what happened?

Also, what's 6776?

6 pack, 7 P, 7 figures income, 6 height. They wanted a GF/cook for them, participate in social calendar, maintain joint household plan retirements together. Exclusive means each wanted me only to date them. Yes, I left all 4 as I didn't fall into any of them seriously. It's very easy for me to date whoever I want and meet men of similar parameters

So you didn't fall for any of them seriously, but know they all have a 7 P?

Overall, lets look at the numbers:

1-2% of men have a six pack (and this include younger men not in the age demo you're describing)
5% or fewer men have a 7 P
less than 1% of men earn 7 figures
14% of men 6 foot or taller

And you found all of these in 4 men? And very easily?

Yes, we believe you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should marry women to have a raise a family. Can you imagine? Two actual functional adults participating in their kids lives and executing all household duties evenly while excelling in their careers? The sex would be great too because, finally, someone who understands a woman’s body. Total utopia, right?

Unfortunately, when women marry women what follows is an extremely high divorce rate - much higher than a hetero marriage or a male/male gay marriage (which is actually the lowest).

This is likely because women actually experience what its like to be married to a woman.

Women can be hyper-critical - the 95% of things that you do right don’t matter. Only the 5% of things that you do wrong matter and they will build up a toxic level of resentment over those things. Try to fix that other 5% and they will be hypercritical over how you’re fixing it and hate the patheticness of your character who cowtowed. They’ll gaslight you about what a bad person you are (read the posts in this thread above for examples). Then, all of a sudden, they shut off all intimacy and sex (google lesbian bed death) and it makes their skin crawl to even consider sleeping with you leaving you feeling disgusting, not good enough and rejected. After that, its on with the subtle mind games where they try to make sure that everything you find enjoyment in is minimized because there’s nothing they hate more than that stupid smile on your face. Because, she’s a great multi-tasker, she also creates friction in your family on a rotating basis. Your dad, your mom, your ahole brother and snob sister. The only reprieve you get is when her hate is zero’d in on her work nemesis. And she manages to do all of this while her friends feed her self-righteousness while really only hoping to sabotage her life because its too perfect.

Being married to this is not easy for anyone but women should try it first before marrying men.

Someone needs a Xanax stat

Anyone married to a DCUM woman probably does.

No one held a knife to your throat to date or marry anybody, dude. If you’re a bad partner and unhappy that’s on you and you’re the one dealing with the consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should marry women to have a raise a family. Can you imagine? Two actual functional adults participating in their kids lives and executing all household duties evenly while excelling in their careers? The sex would be great too because, finally, someone who understands a woman’s body. Total utopia, right?

Unfortunately, when women marry women what follows is an extremely high divorce rate - much higher than a hetero marriage or a male/male gay marriage (which is actually the lowest).

This is likely because women actually experience what its like to be married to a woman.

Women can be hyper-critical - the 95% of things that you do right don’t matter. Only the 5% of things that you do wrong matter and they will build up a toxic level of resentment over those things. Try to fix that other 5% and they will be hypercritical over how you’re fixing it and hate the patheticness of your character who cowtowed. They’ll gaslight you about what a bad person you are (read the posts in this thread above for examples). Then, all of a sudden, they shut off all intimacy and sex (google lesbian bed death) and it makes their skin crawl to even consider sleeping with you leaving you feeling disgusting, not good enough and rejected. After that, its on with the subtle mind games where they try to make sure that everything you find enjoyment in is minimized because there’s nothing they hate more than that stupid smile on your face. Because, she’s a great multi-tasker, she also creates friction in your family on a rotating basis. Your dad, your mom, your ahole brother and snob sister. The only reprieve you get is when her hate is zero’d in on her work nemesis. And she manages to do all of this while her friends feed her self-righteousness while really only hoping to sabotage her life because its too perfect.

Being married to this is not easy for anyone but women should try it first before marrying men.

Someone needs a Xanax stat

Anyone married to a DCUM woman probably does.

No one held a knife to your throat to date or marry anybody, dude. If you’re a bad partner and unhappy that’s on you and you’re the one dealing with the consequences.

And the same answer goes for the ladies out here complaining. Its on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women should marry women to have a raise a family. Can you imagine? Two actual functional adults participating in their kids lives and executing all household duties evenly while excelling in their careers? The sex would be great too because, finally, someone who understands a woman’s body. Total utopia, right?

Unfortunately, when women marry women what follows is an extremely high divorce rate - much higher than a hetero marriage or a male/male gay marriage (which is actually the lowest).

This is likely because women actually experience what its like to be married to a woman.

Women can be hyper-critical - the 95% of things that you do right don’t matter. Only the 5% of things that you do wrong matter and they will build up a toxic level of resentment over those things. Try to fix that other 5% and they will be hypercritical over how you’re fixing it and hate the patheticness of your character who cowtowed. They’ll gaslight you about what a bad person you are (read the posts in this thread above for examples). Then, all of a sudden, they shut off all intimacy and sex (google lesbian bed death) and it makes their skin crawl to even consider sleeping with you leaving you feeling disgusting, not good enough and rejected. After that, its on with the subtle mind games where they try to make sure that everything you find enjoyment in is minimized because there’s nothing they hate more than that stupid smile on your face. Because, she’s a great multi-tasker, she also creates friction in your family on a rotating basis. Your dad, your mom, your ahole brother and snob sister. The only reprieve you get is when her hate is zero’d in on her work nemesis. And she manages to do all of this while her friends feed her self-righteousness while really only hoping to sabotage her life because its too perfect.

Being married to this is not easy for anyone but women should try it first before marrying men.

Someone needs a Xanax stat

Anyone married to a DCUM woman probably does.

No one held a knife to your throat to date or marry anybody, dude. If you’re a bad partner and unhappy that’s on you and you’re the one dealing with the consequences.

*This* post in *this* thread is 🤌