There are a lot of single women looking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also it’s reckless and irresponsible to have children with a man whom you’ve settled for as a parent.

Children need fully capable parents. Not “he’s the least worst. And I can’t be lonely”

You're trying to bring the marriage rate down to 0%! Where do you see these fully capable male parents? The standards are as low as can be and they still won't meet them.

I’m advocating for children with co-equal capable committed parents.

Where did I say anything about seeing capable parents of any kind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes there are because while a man who is say 35 can have up to 3 quality women to choose from, the same cannot be said for women. And I say this as guy who recently got married. I am 38 and I have more friends that are single than married. For most of them their current girlfriends or the ones they have dated in the past have or have had better career than them.

Men drop out of the dating market if they are not happy in their career. Unfortunately we see a very disturbing trend among men between 30 and 45. They are chronically underemployed, have substance abuse issues, and in poor physical and mental shape
And they have significantly less friends than men their peers in the past. Career satisfaction is really important for a man's ego. If he feels that he has been a failure career wise, he is very unlikely to enter the dating market. So women are waiting for men that don't exist today and that will probably not exist tomorrow either.

I think a lot of women will sadly end up single forever. Not because they are picky or not trying hard enough, but because there are simply not enough qiality men to choose from.

Now I am sure you have taken stats 101, so.if you are the exception I am not talking about you. You are an outlier.

It's funny that as I'm reading this, I'm wishing I was one of those ladies who never got married. Marriage sucks badly for women. Like really badly. I was so much better off emotionally, financially, in every way before I let DH put a ring on it and suck the joy from me. The marriage rate is going to get a lot lower because there's just very little in it for a woman who has her shit together.

+1. Marriage was the biggest mistake of my life. There was a lot of pressure to marry. It was not beneficial in any way. I would have been much better off never marrying (married reluctantly at 32, divorced at 42 and now 48). I occassionally date. When I do, it is early 30s men. I am not interested in any kind of serious relationship or marriage ever again. Not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Might be true for some women, but not as widespread as you assert.

Np

Staying single rather than settle - especially if children are a consideration - needs to be widespread.

Apparently you do not know many folks age 50 and above who are single. They complain of loneliness. Better to have a companion than to suffer through a lonely life.

You know what is the worst thing in old age? Being coupled with someone you can't stand. That is much lonlier than being single. Just ask my parents. It sucks. That is truly the worst thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes there are because while a man who is say 35 can have up to 3 quality women to choose from, the same cannot be said for women. And I say this as guy who recently got married. I am 38 and I have more friends that are single than married. For most of them their current girlfriends or the ones they have dated in the past have or have had better career than them.

Men drop out of the dating market if they are not happy in their career. Unfortunately we see a very disturbing trend among men between 30 and 45. They are chronically underemployed, have substance abuse issues, and in poor physical and mental shape
And they have significantly less friends than men their peers in the past. Career satisfaction is really important for a man's ego. If he feels that he has been a failure career wise, he is very unlikely to enter the dating market. So women are waiting for men that don't exist today and that will probably not exist tomorrow either.

I think a lot of women will sadly end up single forever. Not because they are picky or not trying hard enough, but because there are simply not enough qiality men to choose from.

Now I am sure you have taken stats 101, so.if you are the exception I am not talking about you. You are an outlier.

It's funny that as I'm reading this, I'm wishing I was one of those ladies who never got married. Marriage sucks badly for women. Like really badly. I was so much better off emotionally, financially, in every way before I let DH put a ring on it and suck the joy from me. The marriage rate is going to get a lot lower because there's just very little in it for a woman who has her shit together.

If you don't want kids, this is likely true. But if you do want kids and manage to find a guy who will be an involved father (they're out there) then there's something to be said for marriage.

"Involved father." I mean look how low the bar is. I have kids and DH isn't anywhere near the parent I am, even though he does more than most men. I guess you'd consider him "involved." The problem is that I didn't want "better than the average idiot" and that's not what DH promised. He doesn't have an "involved mother" in me. He has the typical Mom making it all happen because he does juuuust as much as he decides to. I want what he has. He's never going to meet that standard because he doesn't want to.

Don't waste my time with tips about how to get a grown man to stop being so selfish. Take a moment and actually think. No one has to write books on how to get moms to show up and care about every facet of the household. No one has to get a PhD in psychology to get moms not to freeload. Having a whole half of the equation be so entitled and stupid makes marriage a waste of time. People thinking it's women's job to properly incentivize men to get off their asses and serve the family they benefit from is part of the problem.

I wish I never got married and I'm open about that with my girlfriends and mentees. Men are such a drain.

Hugs, PP. I’m sure you did the best you could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also it’s reckless and irresponsible to have children with a man whom you’ve settled for as a parent.

Children need fully capable parents. Not “he’s the least worst. And I can’t be lonely”

You're trying to bring the marriage rate down to 0%! Where do you see these fully capable male parents? The standards are as low as can be and they still won't meet them.

High value men and women will never have problem finding quality partners. Assortive mating.

[Anonymous]

I wish I never got married and I'm open about that with my girlfriends and mentees.

+1

Women wanting a child should be considering this as a single mom, or not at all.

With a man in all likelihood, you’ll be the sole parent and caregiver anyway, the difference is with a man you be raising an extra child you never asked for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also it’s reckless and irresponsible to have children with a man whom you’ve settled for as a parent.

Children need fully capable parents. Not “he’s the least worst. And I can’t be lonely”

You're trying to bring the marriage rate down to 0%! Where do you see these fully capable male parents? The standards are as low as can be and they still won't meet them.

High value men and women will never have problem finding quality partners. Assortive mating.

Assortative*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also it’s reckless and irresponsible to have children with a man whom you’ve settled for as a parent.

Children need fully capable parents. Not “he’s the least worst. And I can’t be lonely”

You're trying to bring the marriage rate down to 0%! Where do you see these fully capable male parents? The standards are as low as can be and they still won't meet them.

High value men and women will never have problem finding quality partners. Assortive mating.

What makes a man "high value"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I wish I never got married and I'm open about that with my girlfriends and mentees.

+1

Women wanting a child should be considering this as a single mom, or not at all.

With a man in all likelihood, you’ll be the sole parent and caregiver anyway, the difference is with a man you be raising an extra child you never asked for.

Yes, I'm effectively a parent to 2 lovely small children and 1 utterly lousy teenager I never asked for. I wish I had had the courage to say screw the stigma and be a single mom by choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also it’s reckless and irresponsible to have children with a man whom you’ve settled for as a parent.

Children need fully capable parents. Not “he’s the least worst. And I can’t be lonely”

You're trying to bring the marriage rate down to 0%! Where do you see these fully capable male parents? The standards are as low as can be and they still won't meet them.

High value men and women will never have problem finding quality partners. Assortive mating.

What makes a man "high value"?

You don't have the same question for a woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also it’s reckless and irresponsible to have children with a man whom you’ve settled for as a parent.

Children need fully capable parents. Not “he’s the least worst. And I can’t be lonely”

You're trying to bring the marriage rate down to 0%! Where do you see these fully capable male parents? The standards are as low as can be and they still won't meet them.

High value men and women will never have problem finding quality partners. Assortive mating.

What makes a man "high value"?

You don't have the same question for a woman?

Did I ask about women? Now, explain what you mean by "high value men" or kick rocks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes there are because while a man who is say 35 can have up to 3 quality women to choose from, the same cannot be said for women. And I say this as guy who recently got married. I am 38 and I have more friends that are single than married. For most of them their current girlfriends or the ones they have dated in the past have or have had better career than them.

Men drop out of the dating market if they are not happy in their career. Unfortunately we see a very disturbing trend among men between 30 and 45. They are chronically underemployed, have substance abuse issues, and in poor physical and mental shape
And they have significantly less friends than men their peers in the past. Career satisfaction is really important for a man's ego. If he feels that he has been a failure career wise, he is very unlikely to enter the dating market. So women are waiting for men that don't exist today and that will probably not exist tomorrow either.

I think a lot of women will sadly end up single forever. Not because they are picky or not trying hard enough, but because there are simply not enough qiality men to choose from.

Now I am sure you have taken stats 101, so.if you are the exception I am not talking about you. You are an outlier.

Agree.

Be happy with your friends, hobbies, family, career and if a rare man with his act together comes along, super bonus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also it’s reckless and irresponsible to have children with a man whom you’ve settled for as a parent.

Children need fully capable parents. Not “he’s the least worst. And I can’t be lonely”

You're trying to bring the marriage rate down to 0%! Where do you see these fully capable male parents? The standards are as low as can be and they still won't meet them.

High value men and women will never have problem finding quality partners. Assortive mating.

What makes a man "high value"?

You don't have the same question for a woman?

Did I ask about women? Now, explain what you mean by "high value men" or kick rocks.

Bruh…that’s literally what I just asked. You’re so angry lol. Clearly a high value woman….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is the classic hypergamy. Women do not care about men’s struggles. They wait at the finish line and pick the winner.

If you're a decent looking guy, make a lot of money, be kind to others, and have interesting hobbies such as car racing, play guitar, pickleball etc... you will have endless options with online dating. Congratulation, you are in the top 5%. It is like 95% of women chasing the top 5% men.

Men don’t care about themselves or their or anyone’s struggles. Is that hypergamy too?

What happened to personal responsibility? Or is everything mom or the girlfriends fault?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes there are because while a man who is say 35 can have up to 3 quality women to choose from, the same cannot be said for women. And I say this as guy who recently got married. I am 38 and I have more friends that are single than married. For most of them their current girlfriends or the ones they have dated in the past have or have had better career than them.

Men drop out of the dating market if they are not happy in their career. Unfortunately we see a very disturbing trend among men between 30 and 45. They are chronically underemployed, have substance abuse issues, and in poor physical and mental shape
And they have significantly less friends than men their peers in the past. Career satisfaction is really important for a man's ego. If he feels that he has been a failure career wise, he is very unlikely to enter the dating market. So women are waiting for men that don't exist today and that will probably not exist tomorrow either.

I think a lot of women will sadly end up single forever. Not because they are picky or not trying hard enough, but because there are simply not enough qiality men to choose from.

Now I am sure you have taken stats 101, so.if you are the exception I am not talking about you. You are an outlier.

It's funny that as I'm reading this, I'm wishing I was one of those ladies who never got married. Marriage sucks badly for women. Like really badly. I was so much better off emotionally, financially, in every way before I let DH put a ring on it and suck the joy from me. The marriage rate is going to get a lot lower because there's just very little in it for a woman who has her shit together.

Ill probably surprised some of you with my comments but you are right. We have a daughter who is in college. While I think myself as a great husband, I am aware of my shortcomings. And if my daughter's choice is to marry a man like me she is better of staying single. I say this because after many years I now realize how much DW has been the one keeping the marriage alive. There are fantastic husbands our there who put in equal efforts, but I don't know if they are the majority though.

So, you're aware that you're a shitty husband dragging down the team, but you have no intention of doing anything beyond continuing as you have. How do men like you feel no shame? It's a serious question because my ex was a shamelessly selfish idiot too and I always thought to myself that if I were him, my conscience wouldn't let me be such a user. But he felt perfectly good about himself.

They block it out. It’s an immature defense mechanism and maladaptive cope. Basically everything is someone else’s fault and only they believe their own lies.