Playdate phone basket

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be thrilled. I hope I can be that courageous when my kids get old enough.

Me too. Elementary and middle school kids do not need unsupervised and unrestricted internet used, especially when in groups.

+1

This is a much bigger concern than mommy needing an immediate answer to whether the kid wants pizza or sushi for dinner.

Agreed. Creepy perverts can hide behind being “good parents” “screen free” and removing all means of communication from kids. Grooming made easy.

People like you should just never allow your kids out of the house. You can never be too safe.

Please. My kids are allowed to bike for hours all over the neighborhood. They are allowed the type of freedom you fear.

The reason they are allowed to do this is because they have a watch and call for help in an emergency. I also talk to them about never ignoring the gut feeling that something is wrong. The discomfort you want OP’s child to ignore.

My kids know that any adult who wants to block them from calling a parent is not a safe person.

You are nutty. Your kid isn't safer because they carry a phone. Do you think your kid can overpower an adult who wants to harm them just because of a phone?

Got it. So you keep your kid locked in the house. They only get to have occasional play dates with creepy people where they feel uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never had a phone on a play date and managed to ask to borrow the home phone if I needed one just fine.

+1

What do you think kids did 15 years ago on play dates? They could only contact their parents using the house phone. You all are very naive about what your children do and access on the internet. Even if you say your perfect angel never looks up weird videos or sexual content online, their friends certainly might.

Now most houses don’t have a landline. No matter how much you want to convince yourself otherwise, it’s disturbing for an adult to confiscate a child’s only means of communicating with their parent. This is grooming behavior and it’s a red flag.

A lot of schools don't allow phones anymore either. What then?

Schools are full of other people, presumably at least one trusted adult. It’s a lot easier for a child to ask for help in a school.

A play date with one parent home?

Kid: “I think I want to go home.”
Parent: “Why?! You’re fiiiiine.”

Kid doesn’t really have an option.

I’m pretty anti-screen, but I can see how sending a kid with a watch makes sense.

Why do you assume the parent isn't the trusted adult? Maybe get to know people people before you drop your kid off at a complete stranger's house. Will solve a lot of your problems. Or just don't allow your kid at the home of a single parent if this is a huge fear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be thrilled. I hope I can be that courageous when my kids get old enough.

Me too. Elementary and middle school kids do not need unsupervised and unrestricted internet used, especially when in groups.

+1

This is a much bigger concern than mommy needing an immediate answer to whether the kid wants pizza or sushi for dinner.

Agreed. Creepy perverts can hide behind being “good parents” “screen free” and removing all means of communication from kids. Grooming made easy.

People like you should just never allow your kids out of the house. You can never be too safe.

Please. My kids are allowed to bike for hours all over the neighborhood. They are allowed the type of freedom you fear.

The reason they are allowed to do this is because they have a watch and call for help in an emergency. I also talk to them about never ignoring the gut feeling that something is wrong. The discomfort you want OP’s child to ignore.

My kids know that any adult who wants to block them from calling a parent is not a safe person.

You are nutty. Your kid isn't safer because they carry a phone. Do you think your kid can overpower an adult who wants to harm them just because of a phone?

Got it. So you keep your kid locked in the house. They only get to have occasional play dates with creepy people where they feel uncomfortable.

That would be you, dear. Are you finding play dates for your kids on Craigslist or something? Why do yo have so many creepy people in your neighborhood?

[Anonymous]

I'm hopeful for the next generation. Growing up with parents this anxious and controlling must be awful, but when you get away from that you see that it's crazy. I think they're going to raise their kids very differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never had a phone on a play date and managed to ask to borrow the home phone if I needed one just fine.

+1

What do you think kids did 15 years ago on play dates? They could only contact their parents using the house phone. You all are very naive about what your children do and access on the internet. Even if you say your perfect angel never looks up weird videos or sexual content online, their friends certainly might.

Now most houses don’t have a landline. No matter how much you want to convince yourself otherwise, it’s disturbing for an adult to confiscate a child’s only means of communicating with their parent. This is grooming behavior and it’s a red flag.

A lot of schools don't allow phones anymore either. What then?

Schools are full of other people, presumably at least one trusted adult. It’s a lot easier for a child to ask for help in a school.

A play date with one parent home?

Kid: “I think I want to go home.”
Parent: “Why?! You’re fiiiiine.”

Kid doesn’t really have an option.

I’m pretty anti-screen, but I can see how sending a kid with a watch makes sense.

Why do you assume the parent isn't the trusted adult? Maybe get to know people people before you drop your kid off at a complete stranger's house. Will solve a lot of your problems. Or just don't allow your kid at the home of a single parent if this is a huge fear.

The biggest problem with this scenario is that it teaches the child to ignore her own discomfort and feeling that something is wrong.

OP said the kid felt weird and uncomfortable with her watch being confiscated. Regardless of how I feel about another adult, I want to teach my children to trust themselves and I want them to know that I will help them leave these situations.

Teaching a child that they need to ignore their spidey sense is the most harmful part of this playdate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never had a phone on a play date and managed to ask to borrow the home phone if I needed one just fine.

+1

What do you think kids did 15 years ago on play dates? They could only contact their parents using the house phone. You all are very naive about what your children do and access on the internet. Even if you say your perfect angel never looks up weird videos or sexual content online, their friends certainly might.

Now most houses don’t have a landline. No matter how much you want to convince yourself otherwise, it’s disturbing for an adult to confiscate a child’s only means of communicating with their parent. This is grooming behavior and it’s a red flag.

A lot of schools don't allow phones anymore either. What then?

Schools are full of other people, presumably at least one trusted adult. It’s a lot easier for a child to ask for help in a school.

A play date with one parent home?

Kid: “I think I want to go home.”
Parent: “Why?! You’re fiiiiine.”

Kid doesn’t really have an option.

I’m pretty anti-screen, but I can see how sending a kid with a watch makes sense.

Why do you assume the parent isn't the trusted adult? Maybe get to know people people before you drop your kid off at a complete stranger's house. Will solve a lot of your problems. Or just don't allow your kid at the home of a single parent if this is a huge fear.

The biggest problem with this scenario is that it teaches the child to ignore her own discomfort and feeling that something is wrong.

OP said the kid felt weird and uncomfortable with her watch being confiscated. Regardless of how I feel about another adult, I want to teach my children to trust themselves and I want them to know that I will help them leave these situations.

Teaching a child that they need to ignore their spidey sense is the most harmful part of this playdate.

What age are you all giving your kids phones and watches? Most of the kids I know of the age we seem to be talking about don't even have them so this is all moot.

[Anonymous]

It's performative and OTT and could unnecessarily make some kids and parents uncomfortable (case-in-point: the DD's friend). I say unnecessarily because all you have to do is tell the kids that your house rules is that the playdate is screen-free and you will be checking in on them from time to time (which is appropriate at age 10 regardless of concerns about screen use). If they show that they can't follow the rule and you find them on devices, then at that point they can go into a basket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be thrilled. I hope I can be that courageous when my kids get old enough.

Me too. Elementary and middle school kids do not need unsupervised and unrestricted internet used, especially when in groups.

+1

This is a much bigger concern than mommy needing an immediate answer to whether the kid wants pizza or sushi for dinner.

Agreed. Creepy perverts can hide behind being “good parents” “screen free” and removing all means of communication from kids. Grooming made easy.

People like you should just never allow your kids out of the house. You can never be too safe.

Please. My kids are allowed to bike for hours all over the neighborhood. They are allowed the type of freedom you fear.

The reason they are allowed to do this is because they have a watch and call for help in an emergency. I also talk to them about never ignoring the gut feeling that something is wrong. The discomfort you want OP’s child to ignore.

My kids know that any adult who wants to block them from calling a parent is not a safe person.

You are nutty. Your kid isn't safer because they carry a phone. Do you think your kid can overpower an adult who wants to harm them just because of a phone?

Got it. So you keep your kid locked in the house. They only get to have occasional play dates with creepy people where they feel uncomfortable.

That would be you, dear. Are you finding play dates for your kids on Craigslist or something? Why do yo have so many creepy people in your neighborhood?

How do you know how people behave behind closed doors dear

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be thrilled. I hope I can be that courageous when my kids get old enough.

Me too. Elementary and middle school kids do not need unsupervised and unrestricted internet used, especially when in groups.

+1

This is a much bigger concern than mommy needing an immediate answer to whether the kid wants pizza or sushi for dinner.

Agreed. Creepy perverts can hide behind being “good parents” “screen free” and removing all means of communication from kids. Grooming made easy.

People like you should just never allow your kids out of the house. You can never be too safe.

Please. My kids are allowed to bike for hours all over the neighborhood. They are allowed the type of freedom you fear.

The reason they are allowed to do this is because they have a watch and call for help in an emergency. I also talk to them about never ignoring the gut feeling that something is wrong. The discomfort you want OP’s child to ignore.

My kids know that any adult who wants to block them from calling a parent is not a safe person.

You are nutty. Your kid isn't safer because they carry a phone. Do you think your kid can overpower an adult who wants to harm them just because of a phone?

Got it. So you keep your kid locked in the house. They only get to have occasional play dates with creepy people where they feel uncomfortable.

That would be you, dear. Are you finding play dates for your kids on Craigslist or something? Why do yo have so many creepy people in your neighborhood?

How do you know how people behave behind closed doors dear

Someone this irrationally paranoid would never allow a kid a at a playdate. If you think your kid's watch is the only thing standing in the way of abuse then you are flirting with disaster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be thrilled. I hope I can be that courageous when my kids get old enough.

Me too. Elementary and middle school kids do not need unsupervised and unrestricted internet used, especially when in groups.

+1

This is a much bigger concern than mommy needing an immediate answer to whether the kid wants pizza or sushi for dinner.

Agreed. Creepy perverts can hide behind being “good parents” “screen free” and removing all means of communication from kids. Grooming made easy.

People like you should just never allow your kids out of the house. You can never be too safe.

Please. My kids are allowed to bike for hours all over the neighborhood. They are allowed the type of freedom you fear.

The reason they are allowed to do this is because they have a watch and call for help in an emergency. I also talk to them about never ignoring the gut feeling that something is wrong. The discomfort you want OP’s child to ignore.

My kids know that any adult who wants to block them from calling a parent is not a safe person.

Yeah, everyone I know gave their kids more freedom, not less, once they had a watch or phone. Lots of potential issues with smart devices, but this is a positive side effect.

[Anonymous]

Sick this beeyatcg would take the watch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be thrilled. I hope I can be that courageous when my kids get old enough.

Me too. Elementary and middle school kids do not need unsupervised and unrestricted internet used, especially when in groups.

+1

This is a much bigger concern than mommy needing an immediate answer to whether the kid wants pizza or sushi for dinner.

Agreed. Creepy perverts can hide behind being “good parents” “screen free” and removing all means of communication from kids. Grooming made easy.

People like you should just never allow your kids out of the house. You can never be too safe.

Please. My kids are allowed to bike for hours all over the neighborhood. They are allowed the type of freedom you fear.

The reason they are allowed to do this is because they have a watch and call for help in an emergency. I also talk to them about never ignoring the gut feeling that something is wrong. The discomfort you want OP’s child to ignore.

My kids know that any adult who wants to block them from calling a parent is not a safe person.

Yeah, everyone I know gave their kids more freedom, not less, once they had a watch or phone. Lots of potential issues with smart devices, but this is a positive side effect.

NP. How much of that is just age though? Of course a nine year old has more freedom than a seven year old, whether they have a device or not.

I don't know any kids in this age range with devices. They all have a lot of freedom, including my own. This feels like parents who can't embrace a healthy amount of freedom accommodating that anxiety, not something actually necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never had a phone on a play date and managed to ask to borrow the home phone if I needed one just fine.

+1

What do you think kids did 15 years ago on play dates? They could only contact their parents using the house phone. You all are very naive about what your children do and access on the internet. Even if you say your perfect angel never looks up weird videos or sexual content online, their friends certainly might.

Now most houses don’t have a landline. No matter how much you want to convince yourself otherwise, it’s disturbing for an adult to confiscate a child’s only means of communicating with their parent. This is grooming behavior and it’s a red flag.

There's nothing wrong with asking the kids to leave their phones in a basket that they can go check anytime. This is no different than having to go into the kitchen to use a landline 20 years ago. You act like people are taking phones and locking them away. Nobody is doing that. Kids can use their phones anytime.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I do think it's weird that she would ask a child to remove their Apple Watch. You can't watch videos/look up dirty things on watches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never had a phone on a play date and managed to ask to borrow the home phone if I needed one just fine.

+1

What do you think kids did 15 years ago on play dates? They could only contact their parents using the house phone. You all are very naive about what your children do and access on the internet. Even if you say your perfect angel never looks up weird videos or sexual content online, their friends certainly might.

Now most houses don’t have a landline. No matter how much you want to convince yourself otherwise, it’s disturbing for an adult to confiscate a child’s only means of communicating with their parent. This is grooming behavior and it’s a red flag.

There's nothing wrong with asking the kids to leave their phones in a basket that they can go check anytime. This is no different than having to go into the kitchen to use a landline 20 years ago. You act like people are taking phones and locking them away. Nobody is doing that. Kids can use their phones anytime.

I assumed this was something at the door. Like taking shoes off. Nobody has confiscated the shoes and locked them up they are just by the door and you can get them if you want but you don't need them all over the house.