Playdate phone basket

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never had a phone on a play date and managed to ask to borrow the home phone if I needed one just fine.

+1

What do you think kids did 15 years ago on play dates? They could only contact their parents using the house phone. You all are very naive about what your children do and access on the internet. Even if you say your perfect angel never looks up weird videos or sexual content online, their friends certainly might.

Now most houses don’t have a landline. No matter how much you want to convince yourself otherwise, it’s disturbing for an adult to confiscate a child’s only means of communicating with their parent. This is grooming behavior and it’s a red flag.

There's nothing wrong with asking the kids to leave their phones in a basket that they can go check anytime. This is no different than having to go into the kitchen to use a landline 20 years ago. You act like people are taking phones and locking them away. Nobody is doing that. Kids can use their phones anytime.

I assumed this was something at the door. Like taking shoes off. Nobody has confiscated the shoes and locked them up they are just by the door and you can get them if you want but you don't need them all over the house.

Yes - my kids have encountered this too, and it's the same thing. Shoes at the door, phones in the basket. Personally, I've never had to ask. I have a 12 year old and her friends leave their phones/bags on the table in our foyer by default.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be thrilled. I hope I can be that courageous when my kids get old enough.

Me too. Elementary and middle school kids do not need unsupervised and unrestricted internet used, especially when in groups.

+1

This is a much bigger concern than mommy needing an immediate answer to whether the kid wants pizza or sushi for dinner.

Agreed. Creepy perverts can hide behind being “good parents” “screen free” and removing all means of communication from kids. Grooming made easy.

People like you should just never allow your kids out of the house. You can never be too safe.

Please. My kids are allowed to bike for hours all over the neighborhood. They are allowed the type of freedom you fear.

The reason they are allowed to do this is because they have a watch and call for help in an emergency. I also talk to them about never ignoring the gut feeling that something is wrong. The discomfort you want OP’s child to ignore.

My kids know that any adult who wants to block them from calling a parent is not a safe person.

Yeah, everyone I know gave their kids more freedom, not less, once they had a watch or phone. Lots of potential issues with smart devices, but this is a positive side effect.

NP. How much of that is just age though? Of course a nine year old has more freedom than a seven year old, whether they have a device or not.

I don't know any kids in this age range with devices. They all have a lot of freedom, including my own. This feels like parents who can't embrace a healthy amount of freedom accommodating that anxiety, not something actually necessary.

Most of the 9-10 years old I know have a smart watch or at least watch that can call/message a parents and few set others. It allows parents to let their kids bike around the neighborhood for hours, go to different parks, a little shopping center area we have accessible by bike, pop into different friends' houses, etc. Plans can be fluid, evolve, etc. Kid can call/text after school -- hey, can I walk over to Larla's house. yeah, sure. text me when you get there, have fun. This is not a bad thing. In the 9-10 age range it leads to more freedom because it's still young and you do need an idea where they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be thrilled. I hope I can be that courageous when my kids get old enough.

Me too. Elementary and middle school kids do not need unsupervised and unrestricted internet used, especially when in groups.

+1

This is a much bigger concern than mommy needing an immediate answer to whether the kid wants pizza or sushi for dinner.

Agreed. Creepy perverts can hide behind being “good parents” “screen free” and removing all means of communication from kids. Grooming made easy.

People like you should just never allow your kids out of the house. You can never be too safe.

Please. My kids are allowed to bike for hours all over the neighborhood. They are allowed the type of freedom you fear.

The reason they are allowed to do this is because they have a watch and call for help in an emergency. I also talk to them about never ignoring the gut feeling that something is wrong. The discomfort you want OP’s child to ignore.

My kids know that any adult who wants to block them from calling a parent is not a safe person.

Yeah, everyone I know gave their kids more freedom, not less, once they had a watch or phone. Lots of potential issues with smart devices, but this is a positive side effect.

NP. How much of that is just age though? Of course a nine year old has more freedom than a seven year old, whether they have a device or not.

I don't know any kids in this age range with devices. They all have a lot of freedom, including my own. This feels like parents who can't embrace a healthy amount of freedom accommodating that anxiety, not something actually necessary.

Most of the 9-10 years old I know have a smart watch or at least watch that can call/message a parents and few set others. It allows parents to let their kids bike around the neighborhood for hours, go to different parks, a little shopping center area we have accessible by bike, pop into different friends' houses, etc. Plans can be fluid, evolve, etc. Kid can call/text after school -- hey, can I walk over to Larla's house. yeah, sure. text me when you get there, have fun. This is not a bad thing. In the 9-10 age range it leads to more freedom because it's still young and you do need an idea where they are.

I don't know any nine year olds with phones and they all have this freedom. You're just anxious and controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be thrilled. I hope I can be that courageous when my kids get old enough.

Me too. Elementary and middle school kids do not need unsupervised and unrestricted internet used, especially when in groups.

+1

This is a much bigger concern than mommy needing an immediate answer to whether the kid wants pizza or sushi for dinner.

Agreed. Creepy perverts can hide behind being “good parents” “screen free” and removing all means of communication from kids. Grooming made easy.

People like you should just never allow your kids out of the house. You can never be too safe.

Please. My kids are allowed to bike for hours all over the neighborhood. They are allowed the type of freedom you fear.

The reason they are allowed to do this is because they have a watch and call for help in an emergency. I also talk to them about never ignoring the gut feeling that something is wrong. The discomfort you want OP’s child to ignore.

My kids know that any adult who wants to block them from calling a parent is not a safe person.

Yeah, everyone I know gave their kids more freedom, not less, once they had a watch or phone. Lots of potential issues with smart devices, but this is a positive side effect.

NP. How much of that is just age though? Of course a nine year old has more freedom than a seven year old, whether they have a device or not.

I don't know any kids in this age range with devices. They all have a lot of freedom, including my own. This feels like parents who can't embrace a healthy amount of freedom accommodating that anxiety, not something actually necessary.

Most of the 9-10 years old I know have a smart watch or at least watch that can call/message a parents and few set others. It allows parents to let their kids bike around the neighborhood for hours, go to different parks, a little shopping center area we have accessible by bike, pop into different friends' houses, etc. Plans can be fluid, evolve, etc. Kid can call/text after school -- hey, can I walk over to Larla's house. yeah, sure. text me when you get there, have fun. This is not a bad thing. In the 9-10 age range it leads to more freedom because it's still young and you do need an idea where they are.

I don't know any nine year olds with phones and they all have this freedom. You're just anxious and controlling.

Truth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be thrilled. I hope I can be that courageous when my kids get old enough.

Me too. Elementary and middle school kids do not need unsupervised and unrestricted internet used, especially when in groups.

+1

This is a much bigger concern than mommy needing an immediate answer to whether the kid wants pizza or sushi for dinner.

Agreed. Creepy perverts can hide behind being “good parents” “screen free” and removing all means of communication from kids. Grooming made easy.

People like you should just never allow your kids out of the house. You can never be too safe.

Please. My kids are allowed to bike for hours all over the neighborhood. They are allowed the type of freedom you fear.

The reason they are allowed to do this is because they have a watch and call for help in an emergency. I also talk to them about never ignoring the gut feeling that something is wrong. The discomfort you want OP’s child to ignore.

My kids know that any adult who wants to block them from calling a parent is not a safe person.

Yeah, everyone I know gave their kids more freedom, not less, once they had a watch or phone. Lots of potential issues with smart devices, but this is a positive side effect.

NP. How much of that is just age though? Of course a nine year old has more freedom than a seven year old, whether they have a device or not.

I don't know any kids in this age range with devices. They all have a lot of freedom, including my own. This feels like parents who can't embrace a healthy amount of freedom accommodating that anxiety, not something actually necessary.

Most of the 9-10 years old I know have a smart watch or at least watch that can call/message a parents and few set others. It allows parents to let their kids bike around the neighborhood for hours, go to different parks, a little shopping center area we have accessible by bike, pop into different friends' houses, etc. Plans can be fluid, evolve, etc. Kid can call/text after school -- hey, can I walk over to Larla's house. yeah, sure. text me when you get there, have fun. This is not a bad thing. In the 9-10 age range it leads to more freedom because it's still young and you do need an idea where they are.

I don't know any nine year olds with phones and they all have this freedom. You're just anxious and controlling.

What we are talking about is a 10 year old who felt uncomfortable having her watch confiscated. Figure out why you get off on the control and flexing weird power over kids. Seek therapy.

[Anonymous]

My 10 year old does not have a phone. Nor do any of her close friends as far I as know.

[Anonymous]

I have no problem with a phone basket but leave the watch on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no problem with a phone basket but leave the watch on.

Well, in this case there were no phones. The 10 year old girl had a watch that was as confiscated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be thrilled. I hope I can be that courageous when my kids get old enough.

Me too. Elementary and middle school kids do not need unsupervised and unrestricted internet used, especially when in groups.

+1

This is a much bigger concern than mommy needing an immediate answer to whether the kid wants pizza or sushi for dinner.

Agreed. Creepy perverts can hide behind being “good parents” “screen free” and removing all means of communication from kids. Grooming made easy.

People like you should just never allow your kids out of the house. You can never be too safe.

Please. My kids are allowed to bike for hours all over the neighborhood. They are allowed the type of freedom you fear.

The reason they are allowed to do this is because they have a watch and call for help in an emergency. I also talk to them about never ignoring the gut feeling that something is wrong. The discomfort you want OP’s child to ignore.

My kids know that any adult who wants to block them from calling a parent is not a safe person.

Yeah, everyone I know gave their kids more freedom, not less, once they had a watch or phone. Lots of potential issues with smart devices, but this is a positive side effect.

NP. How much of that is just age though? Of course a nine year old has more freedom than a seven year old, whether they have a device or not.

I don't know any kids in this age range with devices. They all have a lot of freedom, including my own. This feels like parents who can't embrace a healthy amount of freedom accommodating that anxiety, not something actually necessary.

Most of the 9-10 years old I know have a smart watch or at least watch that can call/message a parents and few set others. It allows parents to let their kids bike around the neighborhood for hours, go to different parks, a little shopping center area we have accessible by bike, pop into different friends' houses, etc. Plans can be fluid, evolve, etc. Kid can call/text after school -- hey, can I walk over to Larla's house. yeah, sure. text me when you get there, have fun. This is not a bad thing. In the 9-10 age range it leads to more freedom because it's still young and you do need an idea where they are.

I don't know any nine year olds with phones and they all have this freedom. You're just anxious and controlling.

Well, ok - they don't have phones. But do they have watches on which they can call/text their parents and vice versa? I just plain don't believe you that "all" the nine year olds you know can go home with a friend instead of take the bus home as planned and not let their parents know first. Or be gone all afternoon and evening and go where ever they choose during that time without letting a parent know. Sorry, don't believe you. Where do you live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no problem with a phone basket but leave the watch on.

Well, in this case there were no phones. The 10 year old girl had a watch that was as confiscated.

This is sick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's weird, but mostly because none of my 10 year old son's friends bring devices to our house. A few that walk over have gizmo type watches. I have no reason to confiscate anything. It would just make me wonder what the mom thought would happen if she didnt.

My son has no devices so im just not able to picture this being a thing that needs action.

Yeah, I think it’s a red flag to confiscate a watch.

Any time an adult tells a child they can’t contact their parents, the adult is the problem. It’s creepy and inappropriate.

If the adult is creepy, why is your kid at their house?

Obviously because I didn’t know. My kid would not go back.

And like most creepy adults, they are great at masking in public and wait until they’re behind closed doors to show their true colors.

You realize that is true whether your kid has phone in hand or not?

[Anonymous]

I like it but would 100% mention this to the parents first because I could see people freaking out that you took away their child's connection to them (what if the parent texts?). You have to assume that since a parent sent the phone they WANT them to have the phone. If they know they can reach the kid through you or at a certain time, cool. But to take it without telling the parent seems out of bounds and puts the kid in an awkward position.

[Anonymous]

I would be comfortable with a rule saying "we keep phones on the kitchen counter so if you need to use it, it's here" and I would also remind them to check for messages from their parents or tell the parents that they'll only be checking periodically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's weird, but mostly because none of my 10 year old son's friends bring devices to our house. A few that walk over have gizmo type watches. I have no reason to confiscate anything. It would just make me wonder what the mom thought would happen if she didnt.

My son has no devices so im just not able to picture this being a thing that needs action.

Yeah, I think it’s a red flag to confiscate a watch.

Any time an adult tells a child they can’t contact their parents, the adult is the problem. It’s creepy and inappropriate.

If the adult is creepy, why is your kid at their house?

Obviously because I didn’t know. My kid would not go back.

And like most creepy adults, they are great at masking in public and wait until they’re behind closed doors to show their true colors.

You realize that is true whether your kid has phone in hand or not?

Yeah… But with a watch the kid can call for help.

How is this hard to understand?

Sure, the watch doesn’t solve every problem but it definitely provides a buffer of safety so kids can have more independence.

I don’t get the black and white thinking that unless the watch solves ALL safety concerns, then it’s worthless. It’s insane to argue for ZERO safety precautions because bad people are out there and you can’t stop them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's weird, but mostly because none of my 10 year old son's friends bring devices to our house. A few that walk over have gizmo type watches. I have no reason to confiscate anything. It would just make me wonder what the mom thought would happen if she didnt.

My son has no devices so im just not able to picture this being a thing that needs action.

Yeah, I think it’s a red flag to confiscate a watch.

Any time an adult tells a child they can’t contact their parents, the adult is the problem. It’s creepy and inappropriate.

If the adult is creepy, why is your kid at their house?

Obviously because I didn’t know. My kid would not go back.

And like most creepy adults, they are great at masking in public and wait until they’re behind closed doors to show their true colors.

You realize that is true whether your kid has phone in hand or not?

Yeah… But with a watch the kid can call for help.

How is this hard to understand?

Sure, the watch doesn’t solve every problem but it definitely provides a buffer of safety so kids can have more independence.

I don’t get the black and white thinking that unless the watch solves ALL safety concerns, then it’s worthless. It’s insane to argue for ZERO safety precautions because bad people are out there and you can’t stop them.

Do you think a predator adult is too stupid to realize what the watch is for? They aren’t going to let the kid make a call if they are really intent on harming them.