What am I doing wrong? How is everyone juggling multiple sports for multiple kids at multiple locations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re not being a family. That’s what they’re doing.

This. They don’t know how to (or just don’t want to) just hand out at home and be together.

Cue all the people saying that have plenty of time for activities 7 days a week and still plenty of family time, on top of school/jobs. The math doesn’t work.

How cute that you think having two parents who get home by 5 every night in order to have a sit down dinner with their 2.4 kids is the only way to be a family or spend family time.

If you are split up driving kids to things then you are parenting but you aren’t being a family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re not being a family. That’s what they’re doing.

This. They don’t know how to (or just don’t want to) just hand out at home and be together.

Cue all the people saying that have plenty of time for activities 7 days a week and still plenty of family time, on top of school/jobs. The math doesn’t work.

How cute that you think having two parents who get home by 5 every night in order to have a sit down dinner with their 2.4 kids is the only way to be a family or spend family time.

If you are split up driving kids to things then you are parenting but you aren’t being a family.

Of course you are being a family. A family doesn't have to do everything together and its a good time for 1-1 time with your kids. You sound like you are using that as an excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re not being a family. That’s what they’re doing.

This. They don’t know how to (or just don’t want to) just hand out at home and be together.

Cue all the people saying that have plenty of time for activities 7 days a week and still plenty of family time, on top of school/jobs. The math doesn’t work.

How cute that you think having two parents who get home by 5 every night in order to have a sit down dinner with their 2.4 kids is the only way to be a family or spend family time.

You can spend 20 minutes eating dinner and ignoring each other for the of the night. That's what my family did. We each went and stayed in our rooms all night. Dad got the family room, and we couldn't use it when he was there or we'd have to watch his boring stuff. Even when home there was little family time.

I spend hours in the car with my kids. We talk, we sometimes stop to eat, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re not being a family. That’s what they’re doing.

This. They don’t know how to (or just don’t want to) just hand out at home and be together.

Cue all the people saying that have plenty of time for activities 7 days a week and still plenty of family time, on top of school/jobs. The math doesn’t work.

How cute that you think having two parents who get home by 5 every night in order to have a sit down dinner with their 2.4 kids is the only way to be a family or spend family time.

That 0.4 kid probably needs a lot of extra attention

I was a pretty unscheduled kid and my family had dinner together most nights. But the truth is my mom was lazy and wanted to smoke cigarettes, drink beer with the neighbors, watch tv and do anything but drive us to activities. So great! But she did get dinner on the table by the time my dad came home. Real quality family time!

A willingness to schlep your kid to endless activities so you can surf your phone or do work while they are there is not the flex you think it is. It’s embarrassing how many of my students get to upper elementary school having no clue how to play basic board games or cards during indoor recess.

My kids know how, they just have no interest. Dad loves board games. We have a huge closet full. I'm not forcing my kids to do something they aren't interested in. Why are board games better than sports or an instrument?

[Anonymous]

Carpool. Uber teen. Hours and hours maintaining a calendar and transportation game plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re not being a family. That’s what they’re doing.

This. They don’t know how to (or just don’t want to) just hand out at home and be together.

Cue all the people saying that have plenty of time for activities 7 days a week and still plenty of family time, on top of school/jobs. The math doesn’t work.

How cute that you think having two parents who get home by 5 every night in order to have a sit down dinner with their 2.4 kids is the only way to be a family or spend family time.

You can spend 20 minutes eating dinner and ignoring each other for the of the night. That's what my family did. We each went and stayed in our rooms all night. Dad got the family room, and we couldn't use it when he was there or we'd have to watch his boring stuff. Even when home there was little family time.

I spend hours in the car with my kids. We talk, we sometimes stop to eat, etc.

My car conversations are some of the best i have with my kids. I’m get more one on one time. At dinner there is much more competition for attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re not being a family. That’s what they’re doing.

This. They don’t know how to (or just don’t want to) just hand out at home and be together.

Cue all the people saying that have plenty of time for activities 7 days a week and still plenty of family time, on top of school/jobs. The math doesn’t work.

How cute that you think having two parents who get home by 5 every night in order to have a sit down dinner with their 2.4 kids is the only way to be a family or spend family time.

You can spend 20 minutes eating dinner and ignoring each other for the of the night. That's what my family did. We each went and stayed in our rooms all night. Dad got the family room, and we couldn't use it when he was there or we'd have to watch his boring stuff. Even when home there was little family time.

I spend hours in the car with my kids. We talk, we sometimes stop to eat, etc.

The fact that you all think being a family means eating together tells me that you have no clue. The fact is that when you spend the bulk of your free time in separate places you are not being a family. You’re only a unit when you sleep. You have great talks in the car because that’s the only time you’re with your kids.

[Anonymous]

We just have two, but it can still be tough. Some things that have worked:
-carpooling
-older kid waits after practice or gets there early
-not signing them up for an activity if I can’t reliably get them there/pick them up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re not being a family. That’s what they’re doing.

This. They don’t know how to (or just don’t want to) just hand out at home and be together.

Cue all the people saying that have plenty of time for activities 7 days a week and still plenty of family time, on top of school/jobs. The math doesn’t work.

How cute that you think having two parents who get home by 5 every night in order to have a sit down dinner with their 2.4 kids is the only way to be a family or spend family time.

That 0.4 kid probably needs a lot of extra attention

I was a pretty unscheduled kid and my family had dinner together most nights. But the truth is my mom was lazy and wanted to smoke cigarettes, drink beer with the neighbors, watch tv and do anything but drive us to activities. So great! But she did get dinner on the table by the time my dad came home. Real quality family time!

A willingness to schlep your kid to endless activities so you can surf your phone or do work while they are there is not the flex you think it is. It’s embarrassing how many of my students get to upper elementary school having no clue how to play basic board games or cards during indoor recess.

My kids know how, they just have no interest. Dad loves board games. We have a huge closet full. I'm not forcing my kids to do something they aren't interested in. Why are board games better than sports or an instrument?

DP, but you are choosing to miss the point (and I say that as someone who was working from a parking lot during a kid’s practice last night).

Much defensiveness surfacing in this thread….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re not being a family. That’s what they’re doing.

This. They don’t know how to (or just don’t want to) just hand out at home and be together.

Cue all the people saying that have plenty of time for activities 7 days a week and still plenty of family time, on top of school/jobs. The math doesn’t work.

How cute that you think having two parents who get home by 5 every night in order to have a sit down dinner with their 2.4 kids is the only way to be a family or spend family time.

You can spend 20 minutes eating dinner and ignoring each other for the of the night. That's what my family did. We each went and stayed in our rooms all night. Dad got the family room, and we couldn't use it when he was there or we'd have to watch his boring stuff. Even when home there was little family time.

I spend hours in the car with my kids. We talk, we sometimes stop to eat, etc.

The fact that you all think being a family means eating together tells me that you have no clue. The fact is that when you spend the bulk of your free time in separate places you are not being a family. You’re only a unit when you sleep. You have great talks in the car because that’s the only time you’re with your kids.

What a bizarre take. Do you cease to be a family when your kids are in school for the day? Does your cubemate become your family when you share office space? Your family is always your family, near or far, whether you’re in the same room or not at all times.

[Anonymous]

We have two kids and last year, our older one (DD1) played two sports and the younger one (DD2) did one. Two of their three practices a week overlapped and usually their games overlapped on weekends. When DD1's different sports had overlapping games, we would go to the first half of one and then book it over to the second half of the other (changing uniforms in the car). If they were at the same time, she just had to pick one.

There were a couple of practices where either I or my husband were solo parenting that night, but we were able to arrange a carpool for DD1 to get to and from practice while one of us took DD2 to her practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re not being a family. That’s what they’re doing.

This. They don’t know how to (or just don’t want to) just hand out at home and be together.

Cue all the people saying that have plenty of time for activities 7 days a week and still plenty of family time, on top of school/jobs. The math doesn’t work.

How cute that you think having two parents who get home by 5 every night in order to have a sit down dinner with their 2.4 kids is the only way to be a family or spend family time.

That 0.4 kid probably needs a lot of extra attention

I was a pretty unscheduled kid and my family had dinner together most nights. But the truth is my mom was lazy and wanted to smoke cigarettes, drink beer with the neighbors, watch tv and do anything but drive us to activities. So great! But she did get dinner on the table by the time my dad came home. Real quality family time!

A willingness to schlep your kid to endless activities so you can surf your phone or do work while they are there is not the flex you think it is. It’s embarrassing how many of my students get to upper elementary school having no clue how to play basic board games or cards during indoor recess.

My kids know how, they just have no interest. Dad loves board games. We have a huge closet full. I'm not forcing my kids to do something they aren't interested in. Why are board games better than sports or an instrument?

The fact that you can’t think of anything to do as a family other than board games is the problem. There is reading together, walks/bike rides together, visiting a local playground, having a catch in the backyard, making a craft, playing pretend with their toys, cooking together, etc.

But it’s telling that you think dropping your kid off at soccer or piano is the same level of family time/bonding as these.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids in travel sports and dh is gone during the week. Here is what has saved my sanity:
-don't guilt yourself for not watching practices or games. Its ridiculous that now some parents sit there and watch every practice. As my kids have gotten older, I see that these are the parents that drive coaches insane, too. This doesn't benefit anyone. Try to even it out between kids for what games you go to
-regularly use uber teen once they're 13. Or find a local car service/regular driver you're comfortable with. Split it w/ a neighbor/teammate if you don't want your kid on their own with a driver
-drop off the older ones early/pickup late as needed. Mine bring their homework and can generally knock out a subject while waiting
-vet your carpools carefully. Some are more of a pain than they're worth - if you're driving 20 mins each direction out of your way, better to have your kid wait after practice/games. Also make sure there is not a mooch family who will constantly get out of their turn. I have found carpooling w/ just one other family is a lot easier than these mega carpools I see where you end up having to leave 45 mins early to make all the stops, you waste time organizing, etc
-Make an easy dinner before everyone starts going in different directions. This can be as simple as setting out a rotisserie chicken and some warmed up pre-made sides. It's just easier when it's there and the kids can grab as they come and go
-don't guilt yourself b/c you're not having homemade dinners or family dinner time. This phase of everyone going in different directions is short-lived. You're oldest will be driving herself in no time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids in travel sports and dh is gone during the week. Here is what has saved my sanity:
-don't guilt yourself for not watching practices or games. Its ridiculous that now some parents sit there and watch every practice. As my kids have gotten older, I see that these are the parents that drive coaches insane, too. This doesn't benefit anyone. Try to even it out between kids for what games you go to
-regularly use uber teen once they're 13. Or find a local car service/regular driver you're comfortable with. Split it w/ a neighbor/teammate if you don't want your kid on their own with a driver
-drop off the older ones early/pickup late as needed. Mine bring their homework and can generally knock out a subject while waiting
-vet your carpools carefully. Some are more of a pain than they're worth - if you're driving 20 mins each direction out of your way, better to have your kid wait after practice/games. Also make sure there is not a mooch family who will constantly get out of their turn. I have found carpooling w/ just one other family is a lot easier than these mega carpools I see where you end up having to leave 45 mins early to make all the stops, you waste time organizing, etc
-Make an easy dinner before everyone starts going in different directions. This can be as simple as setting out a rotisserie chicken and some warmed up pre-made sides. It's just easier when it's there and the kids can grab as they come and go
-don't guilt yourself b/c you're not having homemade dinners or family dinner time. This phase of everyone going in different directions is short-lived. You're oldest will be driving herself in no time!

It’s not really short lived. Many families live like this all of middle school and high school which is the majority of what your child will remember from childhood.

[Anonymous]

We've used Uber Teen (for ages 13-17) where they can get a ride, charged to your account, and you get real time updates on their ride (and it can be voice recorded). The first few trips are free if under $20 as a promotion. Seems safe enough, and you can monitor their drive.