RED FLAGS of CHILD PREDATORS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My simple philosophy was that I just did not trust other adults with my kids.

My kids knew not to go to a teachers room on their own. They had to take another classmate with them. Protected my kid and protected the teacher from false allegations.

They knew not to change in the open locker area for gym in school or swimming pool. I always gave them a men's XXL t-shirt and they put it on their head and changed clothes underneath it, making the t-shirt their own privacy tent. When they shower in a stall in the family changing rooms, I stood guard outside. Why? Because grown ass women with gray pubic hair and stretched out boobs would be walking around naked. Similarly, the clothes were changed in a changing booth with a lockable door.

We became the house which hosted people. I made it attractive for both parents and children. I would rather that I was used as a free and trusted babysitter - rather than send my kids to other people's home. And if that meant that I was feeding someone's kids 2 meals a day, and helping them do their homework, I was ok with it.

We made sure that my kid was not excluded from any social activity, and the best way to ensure that was to host all these events in our house and invite and include everyone. I did not care if people did not reciprocate. Did it cost me money, time, resources, energy etc- yes, it did.

In HS, the last thing we wanted was that our kids get into bad company, toxic relationships and bad peer pressure. So, we made sure that they were busy in their EC activities and studies. And for that we made sure that they did these activities with their friends. We made opportunities for all the kids in our circle. We made sure that all the school events were attended by them and we hosted every kid who wanted to attend. We roaped in the parents to carpool for these events and we provided the party. No bf-gf issues. No promprosal drama. No staying over in a hotel for after party nonsense. We also made sure that my kids knew about the perils of social media and they kept their digital footprints clean.

Everyone knew that my kids were under our supervision and they never got into a bad situation. I drove them to school, I was available to pick them up from their school, their EC, their tournament etc. There are many parents who were like us and we made sure that we were working the logistics together.

When my kids went to college and had talks with their dormmates, they were shocked to hear how many of them talked about poor relationship with their parents, abuse, neglect etc. It was eye-opening for them.

Finally, please be open with your kids. Explain the world to them, teach them about predators, teach them about how they can be safe, ask them their opinion.

That is a bizarre example. What makes that scary?

Because it was really happening. No modesty and shocking for my young kids. Some women are stark naked in the locker ( and usually it was old ones), casually walking around, talking to each other, being in the open. Maybe they wanted to drive away moms with kids from the pool. They succeeded. But, for me, they were just perverted predators and exibitionists. Who behaves like this? The same behavior from men would have not been accepted.

Exactly.

I’m going to start reporting them at the pool.

“Sir, there are women walking around NAKED! With their pubes on display and everything!”

“Oh my goodness, where!?”

“In the LOCKER ROOM!”

“….(silence)….(more silence)….Uhhhh…”

Yeah, you should definitely go for it. You won’t look unhinged at all. Not at all.

Our pool now has rules against excessive nudity. There is zero reason for anyone to linger buck naked in the locker room. Dry off and get dressed like a normal person.

It’s not a playground for your fetishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My simple philosophy was that I just did not trust other adults with my kids.

My kids knew not to go to a teachers room on their own. They had to take another classmate with them. Protected my kid and protected the teacher from false allegations.

They knew not to change in the open locker area for gym in school or swimming pool. I always gave them a men's XXL t-shirt and they put it on their head and changed clothes underneath it, making the t-shirt their own privacy tent. When they shower in a stall in the family changing rooms, I stood guard outside. Why? Because grown ass women with gray pubic hair and stretched out boobs would be walking around naked. Similarly, the clothes were changed in a changing booth with a lockable door.

We became the house which hosted people. I made it attractive for both parents and children. I would rather that I was used as a free and trusted babysitter - rather than send my kids to other people's home. And if that meant that I was feeding someone's kids 2 meals a day, and helping them do their homework, I was ok with it.

We made sure that my kid was not excluded from any social activity, and the best way to ensure that was to host all these events in our house and invite and include everyone. I did not care if people did not reciprocate. Did it cost me money, time, resources, energy etc- yes, it did.

In HS, the last thing we wanted was that our kids get into bad company, toxic relationships and bad peer pressure. So, we made sure that they were busy in their EC activities and studies. And for that we made sure that they did these activities with their friends. We made opportunities for all the kids in our circle. We made sure that all the school events were attended by them and we hosted every kid who wanted to attend. We roaped in the parents to carpool for these events and we provided the party. No bf-gf issues. No promprosal drama. No staying over in a hotel for after party nonsense. We also made sure that my kids knew about the perils of social media and they kept their digital footprints clean.

Everyone knew that my kids were under our supervision and they never got into a bad situation. I drove them to school, I was available to pick them up from their school, their EC, their tournament etc. There are many parents who were like us and we made sure that we were working the logistics together.

When my kids went to college and had talks with their dormmates, they were shocked to hear how many of them talked about poor relationship with their parents, abuse, neglect etc. It was eye-opening for them.

Finally, please be open with your kids. Explain the world to them, teach them about predators, teach them about how they can be safe, ask them their opinion.

That is a bizarre example. What makes that scary?

Because it was really happening. No modesty and shocking for my young kids. Some women are stark naked in the locker ( and usually it was old ones), casually walking around, talking to each other, being in the open. Maybe they wanted to drive away moms with kids from the pool. They succeeded. But, for me, they were just perverted predators and exibitionists. Who behaves like this? The same behavior from men would have not been accepted.

Exactly.

I’m going to start reporting them at the pool.

“Sir, there are women walking around NAKED! With their pubes on display and everything!”

“Oh my goodness, where!?”

“In the LOCKER ROOM!”

“….(silence)….(more silence)….Uhhhh…”

Yeah, you should definitely go for it. You won’t look unhinged at all. Not at all.

Our pool now has rules against excessive nudity. There is zero reason for anyone to linger buck naked in the locker room. Dry off and get dressed like a normal person.

It’s not a playground for your fetishes.

Like i say, go for it. Report the scary ladies in the locker room.

But I'm speaking to you as someone whose child spent way too much time in the company of a man who is now in prison for raping a child. There are actual predators out there. They're real, and they're monstrous, and the ladies in the locker room are reeeeally not likely to be among them. And the more you focus on those middle-aged ladies, the less you're helping your child hone instincts for the monsters.

Best of luck to you and your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My simple philosophy was that I just did not trust other adults with my kids.

My kids knew not to go to a teachers room on their own. They had to take another classmate with them. Protected my kid and protected the teacher from false allegations.

They knew not to change in the open locker area for gym in school or swimming pool. I always gave them a men's XXL t-shirt and they put it on their head and changed clothes underneath it, making the t-shirt their own privacy tent. When they shower in a stall in the family changing rooms, I stood guard outside. Why? Because grown ass women with gray pubic hair and stretched out boobs would be walking around naked. Similarly, the clothes were changed in a changing booth with a lockable door.

We became the house which hosted people. I made it attractive for both parents and children. I would rather that I was used as a free and trusted babysitter - rather than send my kids to other people's home. And if that meant that I was feeding someone's kids 2 meals a day, and helping them do their homework, I was ok with it.

We made sure that my kid was not excluded from any social activity, and the best way to ensure that was to host all these events in our house and invite and include everyone. I did not care if people did not reciprocate. Did it cost me money, time, resources, energy etc- yes, it did.

In HS, the last thing we wanted was that our kids get into bad company, toxic relationships and bad peer pressure. So, we made sure that they were busy in their EC activities and studies. And for that we made sure that they did these activities with their friends. We made opportunities for all the kids in our circle. We made sure that all the school events were attended by them and we hosted every kid who wanted to attend. We roaped in the parents to carpool for these events and we provided the party. No bf-gf issues. No promprosal drama. No staying over in a hotel for after party nonsense. We also made sure that my kids knew about the perils of social media and they kept their digital footprints clean.

Everyone knew that my kids were under our supervision and they never got into a bad situation. I drove them to school, I was available to pick them up from their school, their EC, their tournament etc. There are many parents who were like us and we made sure that we were working the logistics together.

When my kids went to college and had talks with their dormmates, they were shocked to hear how many of them talked about poor relationship with their parents, abuse, neglect etc. It was eye-opening for them.

Finally, please be open with your kids. Explain the world to them, teach them about predators, teach them about how they can be safe, ask them their opinion.

That is a bizarre example. What makes that scary?

Because it was really happening. No modesty and shocking for my young kids. Some women are stark naked in the locker ( and usually it was old ones), casually walking around, talking to each other, being in the open. Maybe they wanted to drive away moms with kids from the pool. They succeeded. But, for me, they were just perverted predators and exibitionists. Who behaves like this? The same behavior from men would have not been accepted.

Exactly.

I’m going to start reporting them at the pool.

“Sir, there are women walking around NAKED! With their pubes on display and everything!”

“Oh my goodness, where!?”

“In the LOCKER ROOM!”

“….(silence)….(more silence)….Uhhhh…”

Yeah, you should definitely go for it. You won’t look unhinged at all. Not at all.

Our pool now has rules against excessive nudity. There is zero reason for anyone to linger buck naked in the locker room. Dry off and get dressed like a normal person.

It’s not a playground for your fetishes.

Like i say, go for it. Report the scary ladies in the locker room.

But I'm speaking to you as someone whose child spent way too much time in the company of a man who is now in prison for raping a child. There are actual predators out there. They're real, and they're monstrous, and the ladies in the locker room are reeeeally not likely to be among them. And the more you focus on those middle-aged ladies, the less you're helping your child hone instincts for the monsters.

Best of luck to you and your family.

Right. We better listen to the person with zero judgment who lets their kid hang out with a pedophile.

There is a spectrum of creeps and right there on it are people who enjoy being nude in front of others even when it makes them uncomfortable. They get some kind of sick pleasure out of it.

When they write about naked kids in their blog? Even more creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My simple philosophy was that I just did not trust other adults with my kids.

My kids knew not to go to a teachers room on their own. They had to take another classmate with them. Protected my kid and protected the teacher from false allegations.

They knew not to change in the open locker area for gym in school or swimming pool. I always gave them a men's XXL t-shirt and they put it on their head and changed clothes underneath it, making the t-shirt their own privacy tent. When they shower in a stall in the family changing rooms, I stood guard outside. Why? Because grown ass women with gray pubic hair and stretched out boobs would be walking around naked. Similarly, the clothes were changed in a changing booth with a lockable door.

We became the house which hosted people. I made it attractive for both parents and children. I would rather that I was used as a free and trusted babysitter - rather than send my kids to other people's home. And if that meant that I was feeding someone's kids 2 meals a day, and helping them do their homework, I was ok with it.

We made sure that my kid was not excluded from any social activity, and the best way to ensure that was to host all these events in our house and invite and include everyone. I did not care if people did not reciprocate. Did it cost me money, time, resources, energy etc- yes, it did.

In HS, the last thing we wanted was that our kids get into bad company, toxic relationships and bad peer pressure. So, we made sure that they were busy in their EC activities and studies. And for that we made sure that they did these activities with their friends. We made opportunities for all the kids in our circle. We made sure that all the school events were attended by them and we hosted every kid who wanted to attend. We roaped in the parents to carpool for these events and we provided the party. No bf-gf issues. No promprosal drama. No staying over in a hotel for after party nonsense. We also made sure that my kids knew about the perils of social media and they kept their digital footprints clean.

Everyone knew that my kids were under our supervision and they never got into a bad situation. I drove them to school, I was available to pick them up from their school, their EC, their tournament etc. There are many parents who were like us and we made sure that we were working the logistics together.

When my kids went to college and had talks with their dormmates, they were shocked to hear how many of them talked about poor relationship with their parents, abuse, neglect etc. It was eye-opening for them.

Finally, please be open with your kids. Explain the world to them, teach them about predators, teach them about how they can be safe, ask them their opinion.

That is a bizarre example. What makes that scary?

Because it was really happening. No modesty and shocking for my young kids. Some women are stark naked in the locker ( and usually it was old ones), casually walking around, talking to each other, being in the open. Maybe they wanted to drive away moms with kids from the pool. They succeeded. But, for me, they were just perverted predators and exibitionists. Who behaves like this? The same behavior from men would have not been accepted.

Exactly.

I’m going to start reporting them at the pool.

“Sir, there are women walking around NAKED! With their pubes on display and everything!”

“Oh my goodness, where!?”

“In the LOCKER ROOM!”

“….(silence)….(more silence)….Uhhhh…”

Yeah, you should definitely go for it. You won’t look unhinged at all. Not at all.

Our pool now has rules against excessive nudity. There is zero reason for anyone to linger buck naked in the locker room. Dry off and get dressed like a normal person.

It’s not a playground for your fetishes.

Like i say, go for it. Report the scary ladies in the locker room.

But I'm speaking to you as someone whose child spent way too much time in the company of a man who is now in prison for raping a child. There are actual predators out there. They're real, and they're monstrous, and the ladies in the locker room are reeeeally not likely to be among them. And the more you focus on those middle-aged ladies, the less you're helping your child hone instincts for the monsters.

Best of luck to you and your family.

Right. We better listen to the person with zero judgment who lets their kid hang out with a pedophile.

There is a spectrum of creeps and right there on it are people who enjoy being nude in front of others even when it makes them uncomfortable. They get some kind of sick pleasure out of it.

When they write about naked kids in their blog? Even more creepy.

My god, you are broken. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This article, about a writer and former teacher/groomer, very much matched the experience my kid had with a predator teacher -- biggest difference is the guy in this article apparently waited until the kids were the age of consent.

But the rest of it feels so familiar: the guy's vision of himself as the one who understood these kids and would change their lives. The way he behaved more like a friend than an authority figure, getting involved with kids' personal lives. Becoming emotional in front of them. All the little jokes and comments that were just over the line. The compliments about outfits. The different ways he found to get the kids to open up very personal details about their lives with him. Standing just a little too close. Getting mad at kids who didn't play his weird little games.

https://slate.com/culture/2021/04/blake-bailey-lusher-journals-teacher.html

The article so accurately illustrates how pedophiles operate with middle and HS
students. They often start with assignments or conversations that should be illegal. Any “concern” a teacher has about a troubled kid, must be referred out to a school counselor unless the parent gives explicit permission.

While my kids were at McLean High School, they got alarming questions pertaining to the private lives of us, the parents. My friends with kids at Langley said the same thing.

School staff initiating conversations with students about friendships or intimate relations is a huge red flag. Parents who find the time to stay engaged with their kids about daily happenings (inc. homework) have a better view of the red flags. Don’t let a “confidant” teacher replace you, the parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Red flags don’t mean someone is a predator it just means they are things to look out for and be aware of.

Person with a dog leash walking past a playground asks kids “ have you seen a brown dog run by?” This is not a flag and kids can answer the question.
If the person says “ can you help me look for my dog” now that’s a red flag. They should say no. If person doesnt leave the playground they should leave together and go home.

Red flags are called flags for a reason, have your guard up and pay attention.

Just let him know in no uncertain terms that you are THAT person who will put his ass in lockup if he touches any kid.

Pedophiles need to fear long term prison. DAs who put pedophiles right back on the street to hunt more children are just sheer evil. s p

[Anonymous]

At church, the father of a large family has given me the creeps since pretty much the first time I saw them. I tried to overlook it but thought it so awkward/uncomfortable to see him rubbing the lower back of his tween daughter. Actually, the first time I saw them, the wife wasn't there and I thought maybe this was his extremely young wife! It was just a little weird.

Today, her hand was IN HIS POCKET. While he's rubbing her back and PINCHING IT. What kind of weirdo father lets his tween daughter keep moving her hand around in his pocket? So weird.

They're a lovely large family in all other ways. But I will NEVER allow my children to be alone with him or anyone in his family.

[Anonymous]

If anyone feels like a creep, you obey your gut.

No second guessing yourself! You guide your children to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If anyone feels like a creep, you obey your gut.

No second guessing yourself! You guide your children to do the same.

So true! I'm the PP. Some rules my mom instilled in me, which I'm passing on to my kids:

- never meet with an adult with the door closed. I followed that rule even in graduate school; I think it came in most handy then, when I interacted with a (married) professor who ended up trying to seduce almost all other female students. Any time he'd invite me to the office I very conspicuously ensured the door was wide open and I remained sitting near it.
- if a grown up tells you a secret, "don't tell your parents," TELL YOUR PARENTS!! It is never appropriate for a grown up to want to keep secrets with a child.

[Anonymous]

I knew the predator in our life was a predator before I “knew” it. It was visceral - an instant ick the second I met him. But not everyone felt it. As I said upthread, way too many people liked him, and/or believed the story he told about himself — that he was one of the great and life-changing teachers. And when there were red flags (subtle line-crossing, a little at a time, never too much at once until finally it was criminal, and then it was too late), people explained it away.

Trust the ick. Know what you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be careful of adults who gravitate towards child centric groups or activities. Youth church groups have been a magnet for pedos in our experience. If your kids participate, volunteer at the group.

+1! And emphasis on any that come to your kids school, too. Some of these have 1x1 adult interaction built into the culture and camps that are designed to be emotionally manipulative too. I’m not a strict mom by any means but I’m shocked at how normalized the boundary crossing is and especially how many moms let their teen daughters hang out by themselves with adult women from these groups, especially because I know some adult women that volunteer in these groups that are extremely unstable people. We love our church but I plan to be really vigilant with this & my own kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Red flags don’t mean someone is a predator it just means they are things to look out for and be aware of.

Person with a dog leash walking past a playground asks kids “ have you seen a brown dog run by?” This is not a flag and kids can answer the question.
If the person says “ can you help me look for my dog” now that’s a red flag. They should say no. If person doesnt leave the playground they should leave together and go home.

Red flags are called flags for a reason, have your guard up and pay attention.

Just let him know in no uncertain terms that you are THAT person who will put his ass in lockup if he touches any kid.

Pedophiles need to fear long term prison. DAs who put pedophiles right back on the street to hunt more children are just sheer evil. s p

Part in bold describes most of the recent “prosecutors” in the DC area, such as Steve Descano in Fairfax county.

They refuse to put dangerous criminals in jail. These elected prosecutors are the problem.