Is it weird for a married man to chat up women and pet their dog?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was recently traveling without my dogs, and by day three, I was stopping random people walking their dogs, asking if I could pet them and say hello. Not flirting. It's just nice to pet a dog sometimes, especially if/when you're away from your own. They've got good energy, and it's calming, as is a pleasant, brief exchange with a friendly human. Don't read too much into it, OP.

More gaslighting

You have an agenda, PP. Sorry you got cheated on, but not everyone who says hello to a stranger is flirting or looking to cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was recently traveling without my dogs, and by day three, I was stopping random people walking their dogs, asking if I could pet them and say hello. Not flirting. It's just nice to pet a dog sometimes, especially if/when you're away from your own. They've got good energy, and it's calming, as is a pleasant, brief exchange with a friendly human. Don't read too much into it, OP.

More gaslighting

I'm assuming you don't know what gaslighting means. You have accused a few people of it on this thread...and you have been incorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was recently traveling without my dogs, and by day three, I was stopping random people walking their dogs, asking if I could pet them and say hello. Not flirting. It's just nice to pet a dog sometimes, especially if/when you're away from your own. They've got good energy, and it's calming, as is a pleasant, brief exchange with a friendly human. Don't read too much into it, OP.

More gaslighting

I'm assuming you don't know what gaslighting means. You have accused a few people of it on this thread...and you have been incorrect.

+1 that pp needs to learn about "projecting" and stop assuming everyone's spouse is like their spouse (who likely cheated on them, hence their refusal to see this dynamic any other way, and need to call anyone who can a gaslighter)

[Anonymous]

Guys like this who save all their sparkle and charm for attractive women are noxious and fake. Just as it’s a truism that you can judge someone’s character by how they treat those serving them. I hate being around my BIL because of how much his energy shifts when he’s chatting up someone he finds sexy vs. everybody else.

[Anonymous]

You are crazy. My husband and I both do this. The best time was when I saw a black lab (we have labs) and was petting it and didn't even look up. I asked the name and the owner told me. I said oh my co-worker has a dog with that name and then I looked up. It was my co-worker holding the leash. I say that to show that I have zero interest in the person with the dog, same with my husband. I doubt he'd do something that would make a woman uncomfortable, and we always ask before petting a dog, but there is no flirting going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, it's fine. The posters who think anyone nice is flirting with them are delusional. That is a very common problem on DCUM. There are so many threads about what constitutes flirting, and some of the responses are... insanely optimistic? Arrogant? Self-serving? I don't quite know how to phrase it.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's flirting and using the dog as an excuse.

+1. Flirting with other women is very disrespectful to your spouse. DH does this sometimes and I just walk away. He’ll ask where I went, and I say I didn’t want to interrupt your conversation with the woman you were speaking with. I’ve left the table at a restaurant and got in my car to drive away. Then he gets it.

What he doesn’t understand is that these women generally don’t want to talk to him. But he can’t see it. Men are so stupid sometimes.

Nowhere did OP say that all the women her husband talks to are attractive... She said he beelines towards ANY woman with a dog. Our neighborhood has an average of 1.6 dogs per household (I made that up but you get it). The vast majority of the women walking those dogs are older or not attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it so bad to flirt? I like mild flirting, but have never cheated on my husband, and would never do so. It's just making some fun conversation with an attractive person and moving on.

This! Flirting is fun. Some of you people sound so rigid I wonder how you enjoy life. And no, I would never cheat on my husband and he knows that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it's fine. The posters who think anyone nice is flirting with them are delusional. That is a very common problem on DCUM. There are so many threads about what constitutes flirting, and some of the responses are... insanely optimistic? Arrogant? Self-serving? I don't quite know how to phrase it.

Any interaction between human beings is problematic one way or another for some DCUM posters.

Ha, nailed it. If OP had said her husband chats up men with dogs people would be telling her he was gay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband absolutely loves all dogs. He is also super outgoing and objectively handsome. With or without me, he will beeline towards any woman with a dog to chat them up and meet their dog. If he stays outside of a shop for ten minutes I'll come out and he'll be making some random gal laugh while petting some corgi or spaniel. Same goes for running errands, jogging, when walking our dog, or at a beach.

Am I crazy for wanting my husband to stop doing this? I'm not insecure, I just think it might be perceived to kind of weird and pushy, and also, were I a single woman I'd assume a random attractive man trying to chat me up is flirting and hitting on me, right?

That is weird for sure. In my 30 years of happy marriage, my husband has never chatted up a woman and "petted her dog". However it helps that I am extremely attractive, fit and slim for my age and have a fun personality.

I'm also extremely attractive, fit, and slim for my age (although I'm quite sure I'm younger than you having only been married for 15 years) and that's exactly why it wouldn't bother me in the least bit if my husband chatted up a woman with a dog...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would he chat up a man if the man had a cute dog? If the answer is yes, then it's not weird. If the answer is no, I'd point that out to him.

+1 this is my reaction. If he likes socializing and loves meeting dogs, great! If it's just women, it's off

[Anonymous]

There are aggressive women, both single and married, who won't hesitate to capitalize and try to make a move on an attractive and successful married man. It only takes your husband sharing a couple of very minor details about himself for them to go down a rabbit hole of cyber-stalking and try to connect with him later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was recently traveling without my dogs, and by day three, I was stopping random people walking their dogs, asking if I could pet them and say hello. Not flirting. It's just nice to pet a dog sometimes, especially if/when you're away from your own. They've got good energy, and it's calming, as is a pleasant, brief exchange with a friendly human. Don't read too much into it, OP.

More gaslighting

I'm assuming you don't know what gaslighting means. You have accused a few people of it on this thread...and you have been incorrect.

+1 that pp needs to learn about "projecting" and stop assuming everyone's spouse is like their spouse (who likely cheated on them, hence their refusal to see this dynamic any other way, and need to call anyone who can a gaslighter)

I know exactly what gaslighting is and it's exactly what you and pp are doing to op. Not everyone cheats but it's a hole behavior to act like ops being ridiculous.
And you liking dogs and petting them is not what op described her husband doing.
Enough of your garbage!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's flirting and using the dog as an excuse.

+1. Flirting with other women is very disrespectful to your spouse. DH does this sometimes and I just walk away. He’ll ask where I went, and I say I didn’t want to interrupt your conversation with the woman you were speaking with. I’ve left the table at a restaurant and got in my car to drive away. Then he gets it.

What he doesn’t understand is that these women generally don’t want to talk to him. But he can’t see it. Men are so stupid sometimes.

Nowhere did OP say that all the women her husband talks to are attractive... She said he beelines towards ANY woman with a dog. Our neighborhood has an average of 1.6 dogs per household (I made that up but you get it). The vast majority of the women walking those dogs are older or not attractive.

Sure, but if it’s really all about the dog, why doesn’t he also approach men with dogs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband absolutely loves all dogs. He is also super outgoing and objectively handsome. With or without me, he will beeline towards any woman with a dog to chat them up and meet their dog. If he stays outside of a shop for ten minutes I'll come out and he'll be making some random gal laugh while petting some corgi or spaniel. Same goes for running errands, jogging, when walking our dog, or at a beach.

Am I crazy for wanting my husband to stop doing this? I'm not insecure, I just think it might be perceived to kind of weird and pushy, and also, were I a single woman I'd assume a random attractive man trying to chat me up is flirting and hitting on me, right?

That is weird for sure. In my 30 years of happy marriage, my husband has never chatted up a woman and "petted her dog". However it helps that I am extremely attractive, fit and slim for my age and have a fun personality.

I'm also extremely attractive, fit, and slim for my age (although I'm quite sure I'm younger than you having only been married for 15 years) and that's exactly why it wouldn't bother me in the least bit if my husband chatted up a woman with a dog...

This isn’t a flex. You might die before you reach 30 years of marriage.