SIL not vaccinating baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not interested in your facts and won't believe them. An intervention won't help. Maybe try the angle of getting her screened for PPD? Perhaps her hormones and brain chemistry are out of whack and that medication will help?

This is so offensive. BIL is making this call too and you aren’t blaming his hormones.

What do you expect the BIL to do? Take the child to get vaccinated in secret? How does that play out? The SIL is singularly responsible because she’s the one preventing it from happening.

That's actually a good idea. I know a dad who did that and mom is none the wiser.

Vaccine record is very clearly displayed in your medical portal/visit summaries so most people would find out that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is not a Trump supporter, but she is a big RFK Jr. supporter, to the point that she told me she was happy Trump was elected because he appointed him as head of HHS. She’s been posting a lot of anti-vaccination stuff on Facebook, along with other bananas things like people having conversations with AI about how there’s land on Earth “beyond the ancestral ice wall” that humans don’t know about.

She and my BIL had their fourth baby a little less than three months ago. My husband and I just found out from my MIL that my SIL refused to give the baby her two-month vaccinations and says she won’t be giving her any vaccines at all in the future. The pediatrician, who treated my husband, his brother, and all the nieces and nephews, is livid and refuses to keep baby #4 as a patient anymore. I’m not sure what’s happening with the other three kids.

My BIL would have vaccinated the baby but basically does whatever SIL says and told us he doesn’t really care. MIL and FIL are worried about measles but otherwise seem like they’re not too concerned. I think she’s an idiot for many reasons, but I’ve always been cordial with her. My husband is furious. We just went through a measles scare at our daughter’s daycare, and it’s incredibly upsetting that she’s being so careless with her child’s health—and with the health of others.

We’re visiting for a family event in a few weeks, and I’m not sure what to do. My husband wants to have a family discussion about it, which is fine since it’s his family, but I worry she’s doing this for attention and a confrontation would just give her what she wants. She also tends to use the kids as bargaining chips, and I really want my daughter to have a relationship with her cousins, who are very sweet and smart.

I don’t think a direct confrontation will go well, but I also don’t want to just let it go. I’d like to give her facts and information, though I know she’d probably just say it’s all biased. I’m feeling really stuck. Has anyone dealt with something like this before? What helped?

The sad part is, she has a PhD and used to be a scientist before she left her job after having her third child.

So you don’t like your SIL much- or respect her- and never have (and that was before she had kid #4 and this particular issue arose).

Do you think she is unaware of this? Do you think her husband is unaware of this? I’m sure they assume your DH shares your views as well.

I can’t imagine what you think “confronting them” will achieve here….and given the above, it won’t be taken as “concern for their baby”. It is not likely to achieve the result you desire.

regardless of how anyone feels about anyone else and the history, what these people are doing is really terrible. it's putting people's lives at stake and is going counter to centuries of science. it's digusting, confront them.

the whole point of vaccination is that it isn't just YOUR kids who are helped.

And confronting them will accomplish what, exactly?

Preach!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is absolutely heartbreaking! That poor child! I hope nothing happens, but it’s extremely likely that innocent child will become seriously ill. My problem is, the child should not suffer because of a parent’s ignorance. This is simply unacceptable.
I’d distance myself from her, but need yourself available to the children in case they need help.
Where on earth did she get a phd because avoiding that univ like the plague

You need to learn how to interpret health data (and other types of statistics). It is not "extremely" or even "likely" that that baby will become seriously ill.

Get a grip...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this thread shows democrats in such a poor light. I am a democrat, family all vaccinated (we even get covid vaccinations!). But the misinformation and fearmongering here is out of control. People are heartbroken! The child will be seriously ill or die! The kid should get vaccinated, but he’s very likely to be fine. It’s a lot like seatbelts - you should wear one always but for the vast majority of trips, we’d be fine without it. When we make these wild claims and it doesn’t pan out, we look like liars and are less believable when it matters.

Comments show how selfish people have become in this country. Does no one understand the concept of herd immunity?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is not a Trump supporter, but she is a big RFK Jr. supporter, to the point that she told me she was happy Trump was elected because he appointed him as head of HHS. She’s been posting a lot of anti-vaccination stuff on Facebook, along with other bananas things like people having conversations with AI about how there’s land on Earth “beyond the ancestral ice wall” that humans don’t know about.

She and my BIL had their fourth baby a little less than three months ago. My husband and I just found out from my MIL that my SIL refused to give the baby her two-month vaccinations and says she won’t be giving her any vaccines at all in the future. The pediatrician, who treated my husband, his brother, and all the nieces and nephews, is livid and refuses to keep baby #4 as a patient anymore. I’m not sure what’s happening with the other three kids.

My BIL would have vaccinated the baby but basically does whatever SIL says and told us he doesn’t really care. MIL and FIL are worried about measles but otherwise seem like they’re not too concerned. I think she’s an idiot for many reasons, but I’ve always been cordial with her. My husband is furious. We just went through a measles scare at our daughter’s daycare, and it’s incredibly upsetting that she’s being so careless with her child’s health—and with the health of others.

We’re visiting for a family event in a few weeks, and I’m not sure what to do. My husband wants to have a family discussion about it, which is fine since it’s his family, but I worry she’s doing this for attention and a confrontation would just give her what she wants. She also tends to use the kids as bargaining chips, and I really want my daughter to have a relationship with her cousins, who are very sweet and smart.

I don’t think a direct confrontation will go well, but I also don’t want to just let it go. I’d like to give her facts and information, though I know she’d probably just say it’s all biased. I’m feeling really stuck. Has anyone dealt with something like this before? What helped?

The sad part is, she has a PhD and used to be a scientist before she left her job after having her third child.

So you don’t like your SIL much- or respect her- and never have (and that was before she had kid #4 and this particular issue arose).

Do you think she is unaware of this? Do you think her husband is unaware of this? I’m sure they assume your DH shares your views as well.

I can’t imagine what you think “confronting them” will achieve here….and given the above, it won’t be taken as “concern for their baby”. It is not likely to achieve the result you desire.

regardless of how anyone feels about anyone else and the history, what these people are doing is really terrible. it's putting people's lives at stake and is going counter to centuries of science. it's digusting, confront them.

the whole point of vaccination is that it isn't just YOUR kids who are helped.

And confronting them will accomplish what, exactly?

let them know they are disgusting people who have no place in society and that they are doing something seriously dangerous

Do you hear yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not interested in your facts and won't believe them. An intervention won't help. Maybe try the angle of getting her screened for PPD? Perhaps her hormones and brain chemistry are out of whack and that medication will help?

This is so offensive. BIL is making this call too and you aren’t blaming his hormones.

What do you expect the BIL to do? Take the child to get vaccinated in secret? How does that play out? The SIL is singularly responsible because she’s the one preventing it from happening.

That's actually a good idea. I know a dad who did that and mom is none the wiser.

Vaccine record is very clearly displayed in your medical portal/visit summaries so most people would find out that way.

+1

Of course the mother will find out. Good grief. And a broken or very contentious marriage will have more ill effects on the kid than delaying vaccines.

My guess (especially given the older kids are vaccinated) is the mom is trying to do some sort of method where vaccines are spaced out or delayed. I don’t agree with it, but I remember many of my otherwise “mainstream seeming” friends doing it. My kids are teens so it was awhile ago. I don’t think there are many “vaccines are all poison, and my baby is never getting ANY!!” types running around.

And again- I do not agree with it. Particularly given the only reason parents DO take such a risk is because of the great vaccine coverage from others vaccinating as recommended- which seems lost on them of course.

But it likely is not worth all of this fuss and family drama. Or tossing a marriage out the window. My goodness, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not interested in your facts and won't believe them. An intervention won't help. Maybe try the angle of getting her screened for PPD? Perhaps her hormones and brain chemistry are out of whack and that medication will help?

This is so offensive. BIL is making this call too and you aren’t blaming his hormones.

What do you expect the BIL to do? Take the child to get vaccinated in secret? How does that play out? The SIL is singularly responsible because she’s the one preventing it from happening.

NP not PP but I would hope that would happen, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have the exact same situation my DH’s sister. I try to do the “Let Them” thing but the damage done to our relationship because of how this diminished my opinion of her is irreparable.

I can be civil but that’s it.

Well that’s your loss, not hers.

Y’all do realize that there will be children in school with your kids who are not vaccinated, don’t you? Whatever will you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not interested in your facts and won't believe them. An intervention won't help. Maybe try the angle of getting her screened for PPD? Perhaps her hormones and brain chemistry are out of whack and that medication will help?

This is so offensive. BIL is making this call too and you aren’t blaming his hormones.

What do you expect the BIL to do? Take the child to get vaccinated in secret? How does that play out? The SIL is singularly responsible because she’s the one preventing it from happening.

That's actually a good idea. I know a dad who did that and mom is none the wiser.

Vaccine record is very clearly displayed in your medical portal/visit summaries so most people would find out that way.

+1

Of course the mother will find out. Good grief. And a broken or very contentious marriage will have more ill effects on the kid than delaying vaccines.

My guess (especially given the older kids are vaccinated) is the mom is trying to do some sort of method where vaccines are spaced out or delayed. I don’t agree with it, but I remember many of my otherwise “mainstream seeming” friends doing it. My kids are teens so it was awhile ago. I don’t think there are many “vaccines are all poison, and my baby is never getting ANY!!” types running around.

And again- I do not agree with it. Particularly given the only reason parents DO take such a risk is because of the great vaccine coverage from others vaccinating as recommended- which seems lost on them of course.

But it likely is not worth all of this fuss and family drama. Or tossing a marriage out the window. My goodness, people.

OP says that her SIL isn’t planning to get her baby vaccinated at all. There was no discussion of delaying or spacing them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not interested in your facts and won't believe them. An intervention won't help. Maybe try the angle of getting her screened for PPD? Perhaps her hormones and brain chemistry are out of whack and that medication will help?

This is so offensive. BIL is making this call too and you aren’t blaming his hormones.

What do you expect the BIL to do? Take the child to get vaccinated in secret? How does that play out? The SIL is singularly responsible because she’s the one preventing it from happening.

Take a strong stand?

Do you think a strong stand will change anything? These people are religious zealots, where their religion is being against “chemicals”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not interested in your facts and won't believe them. An intervention won't help. Maybe try the angle of getting her screened for PPD? Perhaps her hormones and brain chemistry are out of whack and that medication will help?

This is so offensive. BIL is making this call too and you aren’t blaming his hormones.

What do you expect the BIL to do? Take the child to get vaccinated in secret? How does that play out? The SIL is singularly responsible because she’s the one preventing it from happening.

NP not PP but I would hope that would happen, yes.

Based on the OP, the BIL doesn’t really care. He is not going to be running off to the ped office with the baby for secret vaccinations anytime soon LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this thread shows democrats in such a poor light. I am a democrat, family all vaccinated (we even get covid vaccinations!). But the misinformation and fearmongering here is out of control. People are heartbroken! The child will be seriously ill or die! The kid should get vaccinated, but he’s very likely to be fine. It’s a lot like seatbelts - you should wear one always but for the vast majority of trips, we’d be fine without it. When we make these wild claims and it doesn’t pan out, we look like liars and are less believable when it matters.

Comments show how selfish people have become in this country. Does no one understand the concept of herd immunity?!

Socialism!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is absolutely heartbreaking! That poor child! I hope nothing happens, but it’s extremely likely that innocent child will become seriously ill. My problem is, the child should not suffer because of a parent’s ignorance. This is simply unacceptable.
I’d distance myself from her, but need yourself available to the children in case they need help.
Where on earth did she get a phd because avoiding that univ like the plague

You need to learn how to interpret health data (and other types of statistics). It is not "extremely" or even "likely" that that baby will become seriously ill.

Get a grip...

Only because of 1. Luck, 2. Other people vaccinating.

[Anonymous]

Did your child die from SIDS?


Hers won’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused because RFK does not believe in this. He believes in spreading out vaccines more. Even our pediatrician suggested that. Our child has autism. It was NOT triggered by vaccines, but even for our NT kid we spread out a few-didn't skip any.

Yes you are confused.

RFK will do everything he can to undermine confidence in vaccines in an effort to crash the rate. It’s a death cult.