SIL not vaccinating baby

[Anonymous]

I would completely cut them out of my life. These are the consequences of their actions. Eff these idiots. They aren’t just making a decision for their kids. They are putting many others in danger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is not a Trump supporter, but she is a big RFK Jr. supporter, to the point that she told me she was happy Trump was elected because he appointed him as head of HHS. She’s been posting a lot of anti-vaccination stuff on Facebook, along with other bananas things like people having conversations with AI about how there’s land on Earth “beyond the ancestral ice wall” that humans don’t know about.

She and my BIL had their fourth baby a little less than three months ago. My husband and I just found out from my MIL that my SIL refused to give the baby her two-month vaccinations and says she won’t be giving her any vaccines at all in the future. The pediatrician, who treated my husband, his brother, and all the nieces and nephews, is livid and refuses to keep baby #4 as a patient anymore. I’m not sure what’s happening with the other three kids.

My BIL would have vaccinated the baby but basically does whatever SIL says and told us he doesn’t really care. MIL and FIL are worried about measles but otherwise seem like they’re not too concerned. I think she’s an idiot for many reasons, but I’ve always been cordial with her. My husband is furious. We just went through a measles scare at our daughter’s daycare, and it’s incredibly upsetting that she’s being so careless with her child’s health—and with the health of others.

We’re visiting for a family event in a few weeks, and I’m not sure what to do. My husband wants to have a family discussion about it, which is fine since it’s his family, but I worry she’s doing this for attention and a confrontation would just give her what she wants. She also tends to use the kids as bargaining chips, and I really want my daughter to have a relationship with her cousins, who are very sweet and smart.

I don’t think a direct confrontation will go well, but I also don’t want to just let it go. I’d like to give her facts and information, though I know she’d probably just say it’s all biased. I’m feeling really stuck. Has anyone dealt with something like this before? What helped?

The sad part is, she has a PhD and used to be a scientist before she left her job after having her third child.

So you don’t like your SIL much- or respect her- and never have (and that was before she had kid #4 and this particular issue arose).

Do you think she is unaware of this? Do you think her husband is unaware of this? I’m sure they assume your DH shares your views as well.

I can’t imagine what you think “confronting them” will achieve here….and given the above, it won’t be taken as “concern for their baby”. It is not likely to achieve the result you desire.

regardless of how anyone feels about anyone else and the history, what these people are doing is really terrible. it's putting people's lives at stake and is going counter to centuries of science. it's digusting, confront them.

the whole point of vaccination is that it isn't just YOUR kids who are helped.

And confronting them will accomplish what, exactly?

Perhaps to change their mind. If you never speak up, how would you know if they were open to change?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is not a Trump supporter, but she is a big RFK Jr. supporter, to the point that she told me she was happy Trump was elected because he appointed him as head of HHS. She’s been posting a lot of anti-vaccination stuff on Facebook, along with other bananas things like people having conversations with AI about how there’s land on Earth “beyond the ancestral ice wall” that humans don’t know about.

She and my BIL had their fourth baby a little less than three months ago. My husband and I just found out from my MIL that my SIL refused to give the baby her two-month vaccinations and says she won’t be giving her any vaccines at all in the future. The pediatrician, who treated my husband, his brother, and all the nieces and nephews, is livid and refuses to keep baby #4 as a patient anymore. I’m not sure what’s happening with the other three kids.

My BIL would have vaccinated the baby but basically does whatever SIL says and told us he doesn’t really care. MIL and FIL are worried about measles but otherwise seem like they’re not too concerned. I think she’s an idiot for many reasons, but I’ve always been cordial with her. My husband is furious. We just went through a measles scare at our daughter’s daycare, and it’s incredibly upsetting that she’s being so careless with her child’s health—and with the health of others.

We’re visiting for a family event in a few weeks, and I’m not sure what to do. My husband wants to have a family discussion about it, which is fine since it’s his family, but I worry she’s doing this for attention and a confrontation would just give her what she wants. She also tends to use the kids as bargaining chips, and I really want my daughter to have a relationship with her cousins, who are very sweet and smart.

I don’t think a direct confrontation will go well, but I also don’t want to just let it go. I’d like to give her facts and information, though I know she’d probably just say it’s all biased. I’m feeling really stuck. Has anyone dealt with something like this before? What helped?

The sad part is, she has a PhD and used to be a scientist before she left her job after having her third child.

So you don’t like your SIL much- or respect her- and never have (and that was before she had kid #4 and this particular issue arose).

Do you think she is unaware of this? Do you think her husband is unaware of this? I’m sure they assume your DH shares your views as well.

I can’t imagine what you think “confronting them” will achieve here….and given the above, it won’t be taken as “concern for their baby”. It is not likely to achieve the result you desire.

regardless of how anyone feels about anyone else and the history, what these people are doing is really terrible. it's putting people's lives at stake and is going counter to centuries of science. it's digusting, confront them.

the whole point of vaccination is that it isn't just YOUR kids who are helped.

And confronting them will accomplish what, exactly?

Perhaps to change their mind. If you never speak up, how would you know if they were open to change?

You cannot reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into. And if getting bounced by their pediatrician wasn't a sufficient wake-up call, relatives won't get their attention either

[Anonymous]

I would respect their decision to not vaccinate and let them know you don't plan to see them in person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is absolutely heartbreaking! That poor child! I hope nothing happens, but it’s extremely likely that innocent child will become seriously ill. My problem is, the child should not suffer because of a parent’s ignorance. This is simply unacceptable.
I’d distance myself from her, but need yourself available to the children in case they need help.
Where on earth did she get a phd because avoiding that univ like the plague

Speaking of lack of facts.

Please provide a credible citation that an unvaccinated child is "extremely likely" to become seriously ill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL is not a Trump supporter, but she is a big RFK Jr. supporter, to the point that she told me she was happy Trump was elected because he appointed him as head of HHS. She’s been posting a lot of anti-vaccination stuff on Facebook, along with other bananas things like people having conversations with AI about how there’s land on Earth “beyond the ancestral ice wall” that humans don’t know about.

She and my BIL had their fourth baby a little less than three months ago. My husband and I just found out from my MIL that my SIL refused to give the baby her two-month vaccinations and says she won’t be giving her any vaccines at all in the future. The pediatrician, who treated my husband, his brother, and all the nieces and nephews, is livid and refuses to keep baby #4 as a patient anymore. I’m not sure what’s happening with the other three kids.

My BIL would have vaccinated the baby but basically does whatever SIL says and told us he doesn’t really care. MIL and FIL are worried about measles but otherwise seem like they’re not too concerned. I think she’s an idiot for many reasons, but I’ve always been cordial with her. My husband is furious. We just went through a measles scare at our daughter’s daycare, and it’s incredibly upsetting that she’s being so careless with her child’s health—and with the health of others.

We’re visiting for a family event in a few weeks, and I’m not sure what to do. My husband wants to have a family discussion about it, which is fine since it’s his family, but I worry she’s doing this for attention and a confrontation would just give her what she wants. She also tends to use the kids as bargaining chips, and I really want my daughter to have a relationship with her cousins, who are very sweet and smart.

I don’t think a direct confrontation will go well, but I also don’t want to just let it go. I’d like to give her facts and information, though I know she’d probably just say it’s all biased. I’m feeling really stuck. Has anyone dealt with something like this before? What helped?

The sad part is, she has a PhD and used to be a scientist before she left her job after having her third child.

So you don’t like your SIL much- or respect her- and never have (and that was before she had kid #4 and this particular issue arose).

Do you think she is unaware of this? Do you think her husband is unaware of this? I’m sure they assume your DH shares your views as well.

I can’t imagine what you think “confronting them” will achieve here….and given the above, it won’t be taken as “concern for their baby”. It is not likely to achieve the result you desire.

regardless of how anyone feels about anyone else and the history, what these people are doing is really terrible. it's putting people's lives at stake and is going counter to centuries of science. it's digusting, confront them.

the whole point of vaccination is that it isn't just YOUR kids who are helped.

And confronting them will accomplish what, exactly?

Perhaps to change their mind. If you never speak up, how would you know if they were open to change?

You cannot reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into. And if getting bounced by their pediatrician wasn't a sufficient wake-up call, relatives won't get their attention either

Maybe, maybe not. You haven’t given a reason for OP’s husband not to speak his mind. What are you so scared of?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is absolutely heartbreaking! That poor child! I hope nothing happens, but it’s extremely likely that innocent child will become seriously ill. My problem is, the child should not suffer because of a parent’s ignorance. This is simply unacceptable.
I’d distance myself from her, but need yourself available to the children in case they need help.
Where on earth did she get a phd because avoiding that univ like the plague

Speaking of lack of facts.

Please provide a credible citation that an unvaccinated child is "extremely likely" to become seriously ill.

Do you know anything at all about measles? I and my sge cohort got measles because there was no vaccine. I remember the horrible temperature, the misery. It was worse imo than mumps or chickenpox, which I also got. Some kids lost hearing. Some died. Some were just fine. You roll the dice. Than there's polio. The herd is here but that safari trip or adventure vacation where it still lurks... Ooof. I remember the kids in leg braces.

[Anonymous]

So. What.?

Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like she’s an intelligent person who has done her research and formed her own opinion. I don’t see how it concerns you. If you’re scared of measles then vaccinate your own kids.

“Did her research”

Well clearly not because if she had and she’s an intelligent person there’s only 1 path to take.

Intelligent people vaccinate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not interested in your facts and won't believe them. An intervention won't help. Maybe try the angle of getting her screened for PPD? Perhaps her hormones and brain chemistry are out of whack and that medication will help?

This is so offensive. BIL is making this call too and you aren’t blaming his hormones.

What do you expect the BIL to do? Take the child to get vaccinated in secret? How does that play out? The SIL is singularly responsible because she’s the one preventing it from happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not interested in your facts and won't believe them. An intervention won't help. Maybe try the angle of getting her screened for PPD? Perhaps her hormones and brain chemistry are out of whack and that medication will help?

This is so offensive. BIL is making this call too and you aren’t blaming his hormones.

What do you expect the BIL to do? Take the child to get vaccinated in secret? How does that play out? The SIL is singularly responsible because she’s the one preventing it from happening.

Take a strong stand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So. What.?

Move on.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WE can't argue with stupid. She strikes me as a scientist who couldn't really make it in terms of a research career, and so found a mommy cult of MAHAs. They prey on people like her.

Exactly thus. Likely failed in her career and is now sucked in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is not interested in your facts and won't believe them. An intervention won't help. Maybe try the angle of getting her screened for PPD? Perhaps her hormones and brain chemistry are out of whack and that medication will help?

This is so offensive. BIL is making this call too and you aren’t blaming his hormones.

What do you expect the BIL to do? Take the child to get vaccinated in secret? How does that play out? The SIL is singularly responsible because she’s the one preventing it from happening.

That's actually a good idea. I know a dad who did that and mom is none the wiser.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused because RFK does not believe in this. He believes in spreading out vaccines more. Even our pediatrician suggested that. Our child has autism. It was NOT triggered by vaccines, but even for our NT kid we spread out a few-didn't skip any.