Do you know any high functioning alcoholics who mostly hide it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is an alcoholic and no one but me knows. He drinks about a quart of gin every couple of days. He doesn't drive drunk. He doesn't appear drunk. I feel his mood change at night as the night goes on.

That's like two drinks a night. Maybe you find drinking in general problematic but I wouldn't call that alcoholism.

A quart of gin every couple of days is way more than a couple drinks each night. And also, 2 drinks each night every night is also too much, particularly liquor drinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

Yet here are many stories of people whose husbands, parents and friends had no idea until it was too late….

Sorry you had an alcoholic parent but your experience is not universal. Many can and do hide it.

and those people will now be able to spot it in others. It is a hard learned lesson one never forgets once the learn it.

I had 11 beers last night and not a single coworker even knows I drink.

PP/ACOA and I have impeccable Alcohol Radar - it’s my party trick. I can smell the booze emanating from your pores and breath and it’s an awful odor- I’d describe as stale and dirty. Immediately recognizable. Also, you have a low key tremble in your hands and sometimes in your head and neck - I notice when you’re otherwise still and I glance over and there it is.

Your eyes look rheumy and glassy. Kind of watery.Your palms are red and ruddy.

You drink a ton of water, soda, coffee and eat candy during the day.

Guessing your drink of choice is vodka. Drunks think it’s odorless and therefore can be slipped into water bottles, sodas and no one will be the wiser. You might keep a tiny bottle of vodka nearby - in your car, in your desk drawer.

You take a shot ahead of anything remotely nerve wracking - even a long drive. You can drink just about anyone under the table. Never vomit, iron stomach.

You have thin legs but a gut or pooch or burgeoning beer belly that’s really a fatty upper pelvic area.

You flush easily and have red cheeks and broken veins atop your nose and cheeks.

Pp you have problems and need help. Did it make you feel good to type all that out?

1. it's AI by a dumb lazt poster and,
2. that's an end stage alcoholic my 8 year old could spot. I prefer to ID the drunk 35 yo moms at kids sports. "Wine moms" so to speak. They are pretty bad at being discreet drunks. It's like their virginity is hanging out for all to see.

Drinking a lot of water and coffee are signs of… alcoholism? I’m concerned these posters don’t know what has alcohol in it…

[Anonymous]

High functioning alcoholics are able to hide it well. Otherwise, they’d just be alcoholics. You probably know more than you realize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in laws are like this although not really alcoholics, just heavy social drinkers.


When they visit, they start drinking in the afternoon at lunch and drink all evening. Somehow they manage to get up, work out, see a few sites, and then start again a few hours later. They never seem wasted.

One visit, they even had a car and the Dh drove around after having 3 beers at lunch.

My dh and I would never. We’d both be sloshed

Oh he was over the legal limit probably (unless those were some spaced out beers). They have just convinced themselves it's OK, as heavy drinkers do.

No grown man is over the limit off 3 beers unless they are high octane 10% IPAs. Three Budweiser's in a 175lb man in one hour puts him at 0.05. The 'limit' is 0.08. Add food and any time over an hour and it's even less.

I’m pp. my in law doesn’t weigh 175 FWIW but in any event why would one need 3 beers at a lunch before they’re driving kids around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

I agree with this - there are certain things alcoholics do and ways they act that give them away if you are familiar with the signs.

+1

NP I’m not an alcoholic (or so I think) because I don’t drink all that often, but when I do, I tend to enjoy it a lot and will drink to much and often get a little sloppy. Never at a work function but with old/close friends. Am I an alcoholic? Last night at dinner I had a vodka and soda, and then a large pour of wine. I was definitely drunk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

I agree with this - there are certain things alcoholics do and ways they act that give them away if you are familiar with the signs.

+1

NP I’m not an alcoholic (or so I think) because I don’t drink all that often, but when I do, I tend to enjoy it a lot and will drink to much and often get a little sloppy. Never at a work function but with old/close friends. Am I an alcoholic? Last night at dinner I had a vodka and soda, and then a large pour of wine. I was definitely drunk.

More of a binge drinker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just reading that thread on Diane schuler, the drunk mom in the minivan who drove the wrong way on the Taconic. Everyone insisted she was not an obvious alcoholic. Do you think this is possible? I have a friend who is an alcoholic and it’s very obvious and he talks about his dependence and struggles. But I have another friend who I suspect is alcoholic. She’s a super perfectionist so I don’t think she’d ever admit it.

A lot of people. This is why ABC was considered essential during the pandemic. Many people make like it’s just social drinking but listen to how they talk about it. A glass of wine with dinner every night (usually pours more than what is considered a glass into their glass) or a beer after work every day. The thing is many aren’t just having one glass or can.

I’ve had outdoor movie nights for my DC and their friends. Parents were welcome to stay, but they couldn’t get through the movie without a drink. Some of these folks I have never seen without a drink in their hand. Many even have booze in their “water bottle” at sports events. You can smell it on their breath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just reading that thread on Diane schuler, the drunk mom in the minivan who drove the wrong way on the Taconic. Everyone insisted she was not an obvious alcoholic. Do you think this is possible? I have a friend who is an alcoholic and it’s very obvious and he talks about his dependence and struggles. But I have another friend who I suspect is alcoholic. She’s a super perfectionist so I don’t think she’d ever admit it.

A lot of people. This is why ABC was considered essential during the pandemic. Many people make like it’s just social drinking but listen to how they talk about it. A glass of wine with dinner every night (usually pours more than what is considered a glass into their glass) or a beer after work every day. The thing is many aren’t just having one glass or can.

I’ve had outdoor movie nights for my DC and their friends. Parents were welcome to stay, but they couldn’t get through the movie without a drink. Some of these folks I have never seen without a drink in their hand. Many even have booze in their “water bottle” at sports events. You can smell it on their breath.

+ 1 - I used to have a drinking problem and even I was surprised by this! I'm sure it happens all the time, but I really noticed it around Halloween when I first had kids in school - drinking at Trunk or Treat. Drinking at the Halloween Parade. Drinking during Trick or Treating.

Like others, I can now spot problem drinkers. My new boss polished off half a bottle of wine during an office happy hour. That's something I used to do - thinking no one would really notice because I was in a larger group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in laws are like this although not really alcoholics, just heavy social drinkers.


When they visit, they start drinking in the afternoon at lunch and drink all evening. Somehow they manage to get up, work out, see a few sites, and then start again a few hours later. They never seem wasted.

One visit, they even had a car and the Dh drove around after having 3 beers at lunch.

My dh and I would never. We’d both be sloshed

Oh he was over the legal limit probably (unless those were some spaced out beers). They have just convinced themselves it's OK, as heavy drinkers do.

No grown man is over the limit off 3 beers unless they are high octane 10% IPAs. Three Budweiser's in a 175lb man in one hour puts him at 0.05. The 'limit' is 0.08. Add food and any time over an hour and it's even less.

Your post is scary. Noone should be drinking 3 beers in an hour first of all at that age and then drive kids around!? That is crazy and they would definitely be impaired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just reading that thread on Diane schuler, the drunk mom in the minivan who drove the wrong way on the Taconic. Everyone insisted she was not an obvious alcoholic. Do you think this is possible? I have a friend who is an alcoholic and it’s very obvious and he talks about his dependence and struggles. But I have another friend who I suspect is alcoholic. She’s a super perfectionist so I don’t think she’d ever admit it.

A lot of people. This is why ABC was considered essential during the pandemic. Many people make like it’s just social drinking but listen to how they talk about it. A glass of wine with dinner every night (usually pours more than what is considered a glass into their glass) or a beer after work every day. The thing is many aren’t just having one glass or can.

I’ve had outdoor movie nights for my DC and their friends. Parents were welcome to stay, but they couldn’t get through the movie without a drink. Some of these folks I have never seen without a drink in their hand. Many even have booze in their “water bottle” at sports events. You can smell it on their breath.

+ 1 - I used to have a drinking problem and even I was surprised by this! I'm sure it happens all the time, but I really noticed it around Halloween when I first had kids in school - drinking at Trunk or Treat. Drinking at the Halloween Parade. Drinking during Trick or Treating.

Like others, I can now spot problem drinkers. My new boss polished off half a bottle of wine during an office happy hour. That's something I used to do - thinking no one would really notice because I was in a larger group.

+2

I see this SO much with youth sports- parents drinking on a Saturday morning at the baseball game, random Wed night at the soccer game etc. Then they drive their kid home. Why not wait to have your drinks later?! And that does not even get into travel sports and how drunk some of the parents get at the hotel or team dinner. I find it bizarre and in the case of driving- totally irresponsible. But so many parents do it.

The drinks while trick or treating isn’t as bad to me, as usually no one is driving and often it is a “neighborhood block party” type of atmosphere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

Yet here are many stories of people whose husbands, parents and friends had no idea until it was too late….

Sorry you had an alcoholic parent but your experience is not universal. Many can and do hide it.

and those people will now be able to spot it in others. It is a hard learned lesson one never forgets once the learn it.

I had 11 beers last night and not a single coworker even knows I drink.

One day it will catch up to you, both facially (puffiness, redness, gin blossoms), biologically(pancreatitis, cirhosis, cancer) and mentally(blackout activity, memory loss,dementia.) But enjoy your beer.

As a pale, white person I hate the first statement. People with rosacea have all of that. I don't drink at all.

Alcoholic redness is a different type of redness. The whole face and neck are a bold red.

Rosacea is quite different.

[Anonymous]

There comes a point in every functional alcoholic's drinking where they can no longer hide it and they are no longer fully functional. What point that is differs from person to person. Some can maintain and hide their alcoholism for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

Yet here are many stories of people whose husbands, parents and friends had no idea until it was too late….

Sorry you had an alcoholic parent but your experience is not universal. Many can and do hide it.

and those people will now be able to spot it in others. It is a hard learned lesson one never forgets once the learn it.

I had 11 beers last night and not a single coworker even knows I drink.

One day it will catch up to you, both facially (puffiness, redness, gin blossoms), biologically(pancreatitis, cirhosis, cancer) and mentally(blackout activity, memory loss,dementia.) But enjoy your beer.

As a pale, white person I hate the first statement. People with rosacea have all of that. I don't drink at all.

Alcoholic redness is a different type of redness. The whole face and neck are a bold red.

Rosacea is quite different.

No it isn't. My entire face is often red. I don't drink. I also have issues with swelling.

One truth is that alcoholics always assume other people are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:High functioning alcoholics are able to hide it well. Otherwise, they’d just be alcoholics. You probably know more than you realize.

+1

My husband is the fittest, most muscular guy- incredible shape. People think he’s strict diet/health. He will drink very high ABV beers and then 2 bottles of wine after. When he’s out to dinner he’s slamming Manhattans. He will binge eat late at night after sometimes. It’s a mystery at 50 how he can still have such little body fat….but he lifts heavy/works out hard. His liver is probably half rotten by now. His father died of cirrhosis at age 69.

He’s very high functioning at work (swards, praise, in charge of many)—and at home—-lawn care, house maintenance, etc.

I pretty much stopped drinking at 50. I was only a one-2 night a week wine when out with friends/dinner social drinker. I don’t miss it.

I keep trying to get him to cut back but when he went WAH is when it ticked up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Like others, I can now spot problem drinkers. My new boss polished off half a bottle of wine during an office happy hour. That's something I used to do - thinking no one would really notice because I was in a larger group.

Is it really accurate to describe 2 glasses of wine (plus 2.5 oz) as "polished off", and during a happy hour (where traditionally it's 2 drinks for the price of 1)? Especially if the boss is a man. Isn't the max recommended daily for men 2 glasses? I would reserve "polished off" for consuming a little more than 2.5 drinks.