Do you know any high functioning alcoholics who mostly hide it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in laws are like this although not really alcoholics, just heavy social drinkers.


When they visit, they start drinking in the afternoon at lunch and drink all evening. Somehow they manage to get up, work out, see a few sites, and then start again a few hours later. They never seem wasted.

One visit, they even had a car and the Dh drove around after having 3 beers at lunch.

My dh and I would never. We’d both be sloshed

Oh he was over the legal limit probably (unless those were some spaced out beers). They have just convinced themselves it's OK, as heavy drinkers do.

No grown man is over the limit off 3 beers unless they are high octane 10% IPAs. Three Budweiser's in a 175lb man in one hour puts him at 0.05. The 'limit' is 0.08. Add food and any time over an hour and it's even less.

[Anonymous]

High functioning alcoholism is just a stage. It gets worse after retirement once the barriers are removed.

It’s a really devastating condition. Saw a friend lose it with Gin out of all things. He’s dead now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

I agree with this - there are certain things alcoholics do and ways they act that give them away if you are familiar with the signs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

I agree with this - there are certain things alcoholics do and ways they act that give them away if you are familiar with the signs.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

Yet here are many stories of people whose husbands, parents and friends had no idea until it was too late….

Sorry you had an alcoholic parent but your experience is not universal. Many can and do hide it.

and those people will now be able to spot it in others. It is a hard learned lesson one never forgets once the learn it.

I had 11 beers last night and not a single coworker even knows I drink.

PP/ACOA and I have impeccable Alcohol Radar - it’s my party trick. I can smell the booze emanating from your pores and breath and it’s an awful odor- I’d describe as stale and dirty. Immediately recognizable. Also, you have a low key tremble in your hands and sometimes in your head and neck - I notice when you’re otherwise still and I glance over and there it is.

Your eyes look rheumy and glassy. Kind of watery.Your palms are red and ruddy.

You drink a ton of water, soda, coffee and eat candy during the day.

Guessing your drink of choice is vodka. Drunks think it’s odorless and therefore can be slipped into water bottles, sodas and no one will be the wiser. You might keep a tiny bottle of vodka nearby - in your car, in your desk drawer.

You take a shot ahead of anything remotely nerve wracking - even a long drive. You can drink just about anyone under the table. Never vomit, iron stomach.

You have thin legs but a gut or pooch or burgeoning beer belly that’s really a fatty upper pelvic area.

You flush easily and have red cheeks and broken veins atop your nose and cheeks.

Pp you have problems and need help. Did it make you feel good to type all that out?

1. it's AI by a dumb lazt poster and,
2. that's an end stage alcoholic my 8 year old could spot. I prefer to ID the drunk 35 yo moms at kids sports. "Wine moms" so to speak. They are pretty bad at being discreet drunks. It's like their virginity is hanging out for all to see.

m
I don’t get what people gain from generating something from ai and posting here??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

I agree with this - there are certain things alcoholics do and ways they act that give them away if you are familiar with the signs.

What are the signs besides the smell and ruddy face?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was. No one had any idea how bad things were or my regular consumption patterns. I never day drank or to excess in public. No impact on my job, etc. I quit and now everyone just thinks I turned into a health freak. And in some ways…. I did, I decided to save my own life.

Same! My dh had no idea even. I mean he knew I drank at parties but he didn’t know about all the drink I’d drink before we got there. Mostly though I just drank at night 7-11pm I’d have 5-7 drinks. I wasn’t out of control, never had a hangover. I actually was nicer and more fun with my kids once I had a few drinks and could relax. I only liked vodka because it was clear, tasteless (well to me) and didn’t leave a long lasting smell. I drank it with seltzer water.

I never drove drunk though. No one ever said a word to me and I know no one suspected. My friends aren’t shy at saying what they think, my parents neither. I was actually a bit hurt my dh never noticed. I think I was waiting for him to notice and tell me to stop, so I could tell him about how my life was stressful. No one in our extended family ever drinks so I think he didn’t know about alcoholism.

What made it difficult for you to tell him that your life was stressful? Did that come from something in your childhood? Were you perfectionistic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in laws are like this although not really alcoholics, just heavy social drinkers.


When they visit, they start drinking in the afternoon at lunch and drink all evening. Somehow they manage to get up, work out, see a few sites, and then start again a few hours later. They never seem wasted.

One visit, they even had a car and the Dh drove around after having 3 beers at lunch.

My dh and I would never. We’d both be sloshed

Where is the line between social drinking and alcoholism?

I have friends who drink every day - a glass or two of wine every day and a few bottles on the weekends and beer at lunch. Is this not a sign?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad never drank until he got home from work and all day on weekends. He and my stepmom were both like this. I didn’t know until I’d go over to visit and couldn’t believe how much was in their recycling container. People they worked with would only know if they went to their house. My dad died of cirrhosis at age 61.

Same with my dad. 8+ beers every night and a case a day on weekend. He's now living with Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, looks a lot like Alzheimer's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

I agree with this - there are certain things alcoholics do and ways they act that give them away if you are familiar with the signs.

What are the signs besides the smell and ruddy face?

Wife of a formerly high functioning alcoholic here. I'm not sure these signs existed when he was still high functioning, but as the level of function declined you would notice:

* Just looked a little unhealthy all the time.
* Alternated between amped up / excitable, irritable, and depressed. Not a lot of chill or calm.
* The PP who mentioned drinking tons and tons of fluids was spot on. High functioning alcoholics are smart alcoholics. They know to guzzle fluids.
* Also my DH chewed gum to cover the smell on the breath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in laws are like this although not really alcoholics, just heavy social drinkers.


When they visit, they start drinking in the afternoon at lunch and drink all evening. Somehow they manage to get up, work out, see a few sites, and then start again a few hours later. They never seem wasted.

One visit, they even had a car and the Dh drove around after having 3 beers at lunch.

My dh and I would never. We’d both be sloshed

Oh he was over the legal limit probably (unless those were some spaced out beers). They have just convinced themselves it's OK, as heavy drinkers do.

No grown man is over the limit off 3 beers unless they are high octane 10% IPAs. Three Budweiser's in a 175lb man in one hour puts him at 0.05. The 'limit' is 0.08. Add food and any time over an hour and it's even less.

....said the alcoholic who justifies drinking and driving. My husband 6' 155lb says he's buzzed after 2 and drunk on 3. I. Buzzed, slightly drunk after 1. Buzzed IS over the legal limit as it's already impacting reaction times and your brain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

I agree with this - there are certain things alcoholics do and ways they act that give them away if you are familiar with the signs.

What signs would be noticeable to a spouse or child, if they are good at hiding it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in laws are like this although not really alcoholics, just heavy social drinkers.


When they visit, they start drinking in the afternoon at lunch and drink all evening. Somehow they manage to get up, work out, see a few sites, and then start again a few hours later. They never seem wasted.

One visit, they even had a car and the Dh drove around after having 3 beers at lunch.

My dh and I would never. We’d both be sloshed

Oh he was over the legal limit probably (unless those were some spaced out beers). They have just convinced themselves it's OK, as heavy drinkers do.

No grown man is over the limit off 3 beers unless they are high octane 10% IPAs. Three Budweiser's in a 175lb man in one hour puts him at 0.05. The 'limit' is 0.08. Add food and any time over an hour and it's even less.

....said the alcoholic who justifies drinking and driving. My husband 6' 155lb says he's buzzed after 2 and drunk on 3. I. Buzzed, slightly drunk after 1. Buzzed IS over the legal limit as it's already impacting reaction times and your brain.

Your anecdote is useless. BAC can be measured and even your 155 lb husband isn't legally drunk after 2 or 3 standard drinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just reading that thread on Diane schuler, the drunk mom in the minivan who drove the wrong way on the Taconic. Everyone insisted she was not an obvious alcoholic. Do you think this is possible? I have a friend who is an alcoholic and it’s very obvious and he talks about his dependence and struggles. But I have another friend who I suspect is alcoholic. She’s a super perfectionist so I don’t think she’d ever admit it.

Yes. Private school parents that have 3-5 drinks then drive! Also some seem to drink every single night and slur their words. Or the double pour types. There are a few that I am pretty sure live to drink. They do not have any actives in their life that do not involve drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

I agree with this - there are certain things alcoholics do and ways they act that give them away if you are familiar with the signs.

They’re the ones on their third drink when everyone else is still working on their firsts. They love pouring wine for others and keep topping off your glass while refilling theirs. They will order another round without asking if you want another.