Do you know any high functioning alcoholics who mostly hide it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

Yet here are many stories of people whose husbands, parents and friends had no idea until it was too late….

Sorry you had an alcoholic parent but your experience is not universal. Many can and do hide it.

and those people will now be able to spot it in others. It is a hard learned lesson one never forgets once the learn it.

I had 11 beers last night and not a single coworker even knows I drink.

PP/ACOA and I have impeccable Alcohol Radar - it’s my party trick. I can smell the booze emanating from your pores and breath and it’s an awful odor- I’d describe as stale and dirty. Immediately recognizable. Also, you have a low key tremble in your hands and sometimes in your head and neck - I notice when you’re otherwise still and I glance over and there it is.

Your eyes look rheumy and glassy. Kind of watery.Your palms are red and ruddy.

You drink a ton of water, soda, coffee and eat candy during the day.

Guessing your drink of choice is vodka. Drunks think it’s odorless and therefore can be slipped into water bottles, sodas and no one will be the wiser. You might keep a tiny bottle of vodka nearby - in your car, in your desk drawer.

You take a shot ahead of anything remotely nerve wracking - even a long drive. You can drink just about anyone under the table. Never vomit, iron stomach.

You have thin legs but a gut or pooch or burgeoning beer belly that’s really a fatty upper pelvic area.

You flush easily and have red cheeks and broken veins atop your nose and cheeks.

Pp you have problems and need help. Did it make you feel good to type all that out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

Yet here are many stories of people whose husbands, parents and friends had no idea until it was too late….

Sorry you had an alcoholic parent but your experience is not universal. Many can and do hide it.

and those people will now be able to spot it in others. It is a hard learned lesson one never forgets once the learn it.

I had 11 beers last night and not a single coworker even knows I drink.

PP/ACOA and I have impeccable Alcohol Radar - it’s my party trick. I can smell the booze emanating from your pores and breath and it’s an awful odor- I’d describe as stale and dirty. Immediately recognizable. Also, you have a low key tremble in your hands and sometimes in your head and neck - I notice when you’re otherwise still and I glance over and there it is.

Your eyes look rheumy and glassy. Kind of watery.Your palms are red and ruddy.

You drink a ton of water, soda, coffee and eat candy during the day.

Guessing your drink of choice is vodka. Drunks think it’s odorless and therefore can be slipped into water bottles, sodas and no one will be the wiser. You might keep a tiny bottle of vodka nearby - in your car, in your desk drawer.

You take a shot ahead of anything remotely nerve wracking - even a long drive. You can drink just about anyone under the table. Never vomit, iron stomach.

You have thin legs but a gut or pooch or burgeoning beer belly that’s really a fatty upper pelvic area.

You flush easily and have red cheeks and broken veins atop your nose and cheeks.

Pp you have problems and need help. Did it make you feel good to type all that out?

1. it's AI by a dumb lazt poster and,
2. that's an end stage alcoholic my 8 year old could spot. I prefer to ID the drunk 35 yo moms at kids sports. "Wine moms" so to speak. They are pretty bad at being discreet drunks. It's like their virginity is hanging out for all to see.

[Anonymous]

My dad never drank until he got home from work and all day on weekends. He and my stepmom were both like this. I didn’t know until I’d go over to visit and couldn’t believe how much was in their recycling container. People they worked with would only know if they went to their house. My dad died of cirrhosis at age 61.

[Anonymous]

A friend of a friend stayed in our house for a couple of days. He was a very good looking, educated and well-spoken guy in his 30s. He also seemed narcissistic but nothing else felt off.
We had a bottle of vodka that was supposed to be a present for someone. After the guy left, I noticed it had been opened. My first thought was that he drank a little bit and hoped we wouldn't notice. It turned out he drank the whole bottle in a few days and filled it with water. Later I found out he can't keep any job for more than 4-5 months because of a drinking problem.

[Anonymous]

My in laws are like this although not really alcoholics, just heavy social drinkers.


When they visit, they start drinking in the afternoon at lunch and drink all evening. Somehow they manage to get up, work out, see a few sites, and then start again a few hours later. They never seem wasted.

One visit, they even had a car and the Dh drove around after having 3 beers at lunch.

My dh and I would never. We’d both be sloshed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in laws are like this although not really alcoholics, just heavy social drinkers.


When they visit, they start drinking in the afternoon at lunch and drink all evening. Somehow they manage to get up, work out, see a few sites, and then start again a few hours later. They never seem wasted.

One visit, they even had a car and the Dh drove around after having 3 beers at lunch.

My dh and I would never. We’d both be sloshed

Oh he was over the legal limit probably (unless those were some spaced out beers). They have just convinced themselves it's OK, as heavy drinkers do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

Yet here are many stories of people whose husbands, parents and friends had no idea until it was too late….

Sorry you had an alcoholic parent but your experience is not universal. Many can and do hide it.

and those people will now be able to spot it in others. It is a hard learned lesson one never forgets once the learn it.

I had 11 beers last night and not a single coworker even knows I drink.

PP/ACOA and I have impeccable Alcohol Radar - it’s my party trick. I can smell the booze emanating from your pores and breath and it’s an awful odor- I’d describe as stale and dirty. Immediately recognizable. Also, you have a low key tremble in your hands and sometimes in your head and neck - I notice when you’re otherwise still and I glance over and there it is.

Your eyes look rheumy and glassy. Kind of watery.Your palms are red and ruddy.

This is an exact description of a friend of mine.

You drink a ton of water, soda, coffee and eat candy during the day.

Guessing your drink of choice is vodka. Drunks think it’s odorless and therefore can be slipped into water bottles, sodas and no one will be the wiser. You might keep a tiny bottle of vodka nearby - in your car, in your desk drawer.

You take a shot ahead of anything remotely nerve wracking - even a long drive. You can drink just about anyone under the table. Never vomit, iron stomach.

You have thin legs but a gut or pooch or burgeoning beer belly that’s really a fatty upper pelvic area.

You flush easily and have red cheeks and broken veins atop your nose and cheeks.

[Anonymous]

This thread has gone off the rails - mostly by high-functioning alcoholics!

Not AI. Not lazy. OP asked if we know any high functioning alcoholics and if they hide their behaviors. We answered and described.

[Anonymous]

Oh yes, it is definitely possible. I do think it would be very difficult to hide from a spouse (or any adults living in the home) unless they are not around much, travel a lot, or are completely clueless.

My DH is an alcoholic (recovered now) and most people had no idea.. Drank heavily all evening but stopped by 10 (sober by morning) and on the weekends starting by 11am. Generally behaved if out somewhere (only had a few beers or whatever) then got super drunk when we got home.

The biggest telltale signs would be bloated face and weight gain (especially in the belly area). But- that can easily be confused for a weight problem or medical issue as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

Yet here are many stories of people whose husbands, parents and friends had no idea until it was too late….

Sorry you had an alcoholic parent but your experience is not universal. Many can and do hide it.

and those people will now be able to spot it in others. It is a hard learned lesson one never forgets once the learn it.

I had 11 beers last night and not a single coworker even knows I drink.

One day it will catch up to you, both facially (puffiness, redness, gin blossoms), biologically(pancreatitis, cirhosis, cancer) and mentally(blackout activity, memory loss,dementia.) But enjoy your beer.

As a pale, white person I hate the first statement. People with rosacea have all of that. I don't drink at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh yes, it is very common.
I've been sober for over 30 years. I quit early and before it interfered with much. I used to manage people and often suspected that many were functional alcoholics. I think it's very common for women to be in this category and people who work out or play a sport in adulthood often recover long enough so that they think it doesn't affect them and drinking is iften part of the lifestyle (golf). People who live with them may know but they can hide it from most others. What made me think employees were: lots of talk about going out for drinks, casual mentions of wine/beer all the time, calling in sick on many Mondays, a sweet smell, puffiness and sweat on face, accidents from tripping or falling combined with other clues, anxious behavior and excessive worry.

I'm one who never realized my coworkers or acquaintances were alcoholics until they told me. In most cases I wasn't around these people enough to know.

They all assumed other people were alcoholics too. It's just sick projection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

Yet here are many stories of people whose husbands, parents and friends had no idea until it was too late….

Sorry you had an alcoholic parent but your experience is not universal. Many can and do hide it.

and those people will now be able to spot it in others. It is a hard learned lesson one never forgets once the learn it.

I had 11 beers last night and not a single coworker even knows I drink.

PP/ACOA and I have impeccable Alcohol Radar - it’s my party trick. I can smell the booze emanating from your pores and breath and it’s an awful odor- I’d describe as stale and dirty. Immediately recognizable. Also, you have a low key tremble in your hands and sometimes in your head and neck - I notice when you’re otherwise still and I glance over and there it is.

Your eyes look rheumy and glassy. Kind of watery.Your palms are red and ruddy.

You drink a ton of water, soda, coffee and eat candy during the day.

Guessing your drink of choice is vodka. Drunks think it’s odorless and therefore can be slipped into water bottles, sodas and no one will be the wiser. You might keep a tiny bottle of vodka nearby - in your car, in your desk drawer.

You take a shot ahead of anything remotely nerve wracking - even a long drive. You can drink just about anyone under the table. Never vomit, iron stomach.

You have thin legs but a gut or pooch or burgeoning beer belly that’s really a fatty upper pelvic area.

You flush easily and have red cheeks and broken veins atop your nose and cheeks.

This describes a lot of older white people who aren't alcoholics. Red cheeks, broken veins etc all related to pale people with rosacea aging. I also have mobility issues. Call me an alcoholic and I'll see you in court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP and another thing as an ACOA. If you tell me that your parent is/was an alcoholic AND I see you drunk more often than sober or at the very least host happy hours, tailgates, go barhopping, wine tasting and have boozy “girls weekends,” then I am judging you accordingly and will stop interacting with you.

Similarly, I have and will extricate from any friend group where drinking is the main focus, activity and commonality. I’ve left PTA Board work, a neighborhood book club, even a youth sports clique with pre-gaming or tailgating or post-game celebrations.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. They think they hide it but they don’t. If you grew up with an alcoholic, you always see the signs.

Yet here are many stories of people whose husbands, parents and friends had no idea until it was too late….

Sorry you had an alcoholic parent but your experience is not universal. Many can and do hide it.

and those people will now be able to spot it in others. It is a hard learned lesson one never forgets once the learn it.

I had 11 beers last night and not a single coworker even knows I drink.

PP/ACOA and I have impeccable Alcohol Radar - it’s my party trick. I can smell the booze emanating from your pores and breath and it’s an awful odor- I’d describe as stale and dirty. Immediately recognizable. Also, you have a low key tremble in your hands and sometimes in your head and neck - I notice when you’re otherwise still and I glance over and there it is.

Your eyes look rheumy and glassy. Kind of watery.Your palms are red and ruddy.

You drink a ton of water, soda, coffee and eat candy during the day.

Guessing your drink of choice is vodka. Drunks think it’s odorless and therefore can be slipped into water bottles, sodas and no one will be the wiser. You might keep a tiny bottle of vodka nearby - in your car, in your desk drawer.

You take a shot ahead of anything remotely nerve wracking - even a long drive. You can drink just about anyone under the table. Never vomit, iron stomach.

You have thin legs but a gut or pooch or burgeoning beer belly that’s really a fatty upper pelvic area.

You flush easily and have red cheeks and broken veins atop your nose and cheeks.

Pp you have problems and need help. Did it make you feel good to type all that out?

1. it's AI by a dumb lazt poster and,
2. that's an end stage alcoholic my 8 year old could spot. I prefer to ID the drunk 35 yo moms at kids sports. "Wine moms" so to speak. They are pretty bad at being discreet drunks. It's like their virginity is hanging out for all to see.

I don't understand this post at all. WTH?

[Anonymous]

My parents. My dad easily drank a six pack every night, maybe more.. Not sure how much my mom drank but it was enough that she was slurry at night and sometimes feel asleep on the couch or, once, in the hall. It was an unhappy marriage (very lonely for both, I suspect) and they didn't socialize much but didn't drink, except very occasionally to excess when they did (can remember my mom drinking too much at a party once maybe).

No matter how much they drank watching tv every night, they were up early and out to work. Never slept in and never drank during the day.

The fact they they drank beer mostly helped. My dad did a little whiskey but my mom was strictly beer or wine and my dad was 90% or more beer.

It was the divorce that helped my mom get her drinking under control. She made rules like no drinking by herself at home on a weekday.