Disappointed kids are just average

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my kids is highly gifted and one has a significant disability. If I could shuffle the genes around, I'd take them both being average.

Hugs!
I understand

Thank you!!

[Anonymous]

The word gifted is way overused, that’s a huge problem. Parents take something they excel at and call the child gifted. When it comes to a sport it’s called talent. All top grades the child is an excellent student. We have talented musicians, dancers, singers.

The term gifted should be used much less often so not to water down the word. Truly gifted people are rare. They are achieving things years ahead of where they should be and are able to do all of their classes equally well in several grades ahead.

Let’s at least give these kids the label they deserve without sharing it the very smart kids who aren’t on their level (although still impressive)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if it’s even harder for parents who always excelled at everything. I was captain of every sports team I played on, was top 5 of my graduating high school and college classes and now as an adult director in my field. I have never not succeeded in what I have tried at. Op here

If you believe in karma then part of the reason your children's souls chose to incarnate as your particular children was to teach you something important about life that you haven't learned yet but that you're meant to learn.

[Anonymous]

Studies show 80% of people think they’re above average. You’re probably another average person who thinks they’re above average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Studies show 80% of people think they’re above average. You’re probably another average person who thinks they’re above average.

Yep!!!

[Anonymous]

This mentality of average vs above average is silly bc it changes based on what you are measuring. So, a kid could be above average as a student, but below average in looks or personality. Does that still make them above average? Or a kid could be a musical genius, but be a terrible student. What bucket does that fall into? There is no perfection and no human being is a total package of average or above average. Super reductionistic.

[Anonymous]

Being average is totally ok OP; most folks in the DMV area are just average.

Having well adjusted adult kids with a solid profession and ability to launch is a huge parental success in my opinion. A lot of folks in the DMV chase a unicorn and want their elementary age kids to be exceptional by paying for extra tutoring, Kumon, Russian School of Math, travel teams, god knows what, and etc.....which causes parental/kid burnout.

Maybe you can just provide a happy supportive home and develop their interests/passions? Not everyone will be a Division I - III athlete, an Olympian, or a successful power attorney, scientist, politician. A well-adjusted young adult with a solid profession which is completely off your books by age 23, is your real success story.

As far as these feelings of yours, recommend seeking some sort of therapy to address this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being average is totally ok OP; most folks in the DMV area are just average.

Having well adjusted adult kids with a solid profession and ability to launch is a huge parental success in my opinion. A lot of folks in the DMV chase a unicorn and want their elementary age kids to be exceptional by paying for extra tutoring, Kumon, Russian School of Math, travel teams, god knows what, and etc.....which causes parental/kid burnout.

Maybe you can just provide a happy supportive home and develop their interests/passions? Not everyone will be a Division I - III athlete, an Olympian, or a successful power attorney, scientist, politician. A well-adjusted young adult with a solid profession which is completely off your books by age 23, is your real success story.

As far as these feelings of yours, recommend seeking some sort of therapy to address this.

+100 I'm getting to the other side of this now with a just-graduated college student and another in school. Some of the kids who seemed to have it all together in ES-MS have floundered, some families are dealing with health issues or mental heath issues, etc. My one who was more average in ES did better as time went on, just graduated and has a great job in a challenging employment environment. My other kid who did better in ES found it more challenging as time went by. She's doing ok in college now and will be fine. Average, well-adjusted young adults is a good outcome.