Disappointed kids are just average

[Anonymous]

How do you get over the disappointment that your kids are just average. They just do okay at school and at sports. Nothing exceptional in a world of exceptional people (in the DMV).

[Anonymous]

I don’t need to get over it. I’m accomplished in my own right. I really just want my kid to be a good person, hopefully be happy, and able to support himself.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? Most people are just ok. But many of them are good and kind and raise good families who help others and contribute in their ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids? Most people are just ok. But many of them are good and kind and raise good families who help others and contribute in their ways.

Kids are in elementary school. Op here

[Anonymous]

Is your name Ellis Grey? "...imagine my disappointment ... and discover that you're no more than ordinary."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you get over the disappointment that your kids are just average. They just do okay at school and at sports. Nothing exceptional in a world of exceptional people (in the DMV).

50% of people are technically "below average", so be proud to be average?

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's possible to know if someone will be average by elementary school. They are just little kids.

I also think average people often lead the most rewarding lives, because when you are not obsessed with living up to great potential, it's a bit easier to prioritize what makes you happy. What if one of your kids had extraordinary talent but would be happiest leading a more mundane life with a 9-5 and a family? They'd always be stuck in between. Am average person, is never going to sit around feeling bad they didn't make the Olympics or get into Harvard, because no one expected them to. Imagine being a pro tennis player who never cracks the top 50 (but almost does) or the elite scientist who spends years in research only to be beaten to key findings by a peer and have their work disregarded. Their hopes are so high.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Your poor children. You need a perspective adjustment so that your kids know you love them and are proud of them.

[Anonymous]

Your kids are young enough that it is too early to know. Lol.

I have 3 teens who are “average” in a competitive area. It used to bother me a little bit but not anymore. For every outstanding and ultra talented kid we know, we also know many more who are having a lot of problems. My kids may be average but we are very very lucky as well (no major issues with anyone, all are pretty happy and well adjusted) and I try to focus on that instead. Feelings of jealousy are normal but try to focus on the positives and a sense of gratitude instead.

[Anonymous]

Your kids may just be average--and that's okay to be. Much better than being physically or mentally disabled. Your children might have a chronic illness like diabetes or sickle cell. Your child might have severe dyslexia or be autistic or suffer from oppositional defiance disorder or..... You get my point: there are one heck of a lot of parents who would gladly switch places with you.

It's okay to be average, but you don't really know that your kids are average. Their talents may just be slower to mature or may be in some area they haven't been exposed to yet. I know a lot of people who didn't find their "thing" until high school and even later. Your kid might be an amazing chef, an outstanding clothing, set or graphic designer, or stand up comic or actor ...or a zillion other things.

You don't need to push your kids. You do have to try hard not to convey your disappointment in them to your kids.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if it’s even harder for parents who always excelled at everything. I was captain of every sports team I played on, was top 5 of my graduating high school and college classes and now as an adult director in my field. I have never not succeeded in what I have tried at. Op here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if it’s even harder for parents who always excelled at everything. I was captain of every sports team I played on, was top 5 of my graduating high school and college classes and now as an adult director in my field. I have never not succeeded in what I have tried at. Op here

Where did you grow up, though??

DH and I both grew up in less competitive areas and had more successes while growing up than our kids have. Even though our kids are great.

[Anonymous]

One of my kids is highly gifted and one has a significant disability. If I could shuffle the genes around, I'd take them both being average.

[Anonymous]

The majority of people are so they’re in good company. Schools are made for average kids so they shouldn’t have any issues. My average kid is halfway through college and doing well According to DCUMs, a kid with barely a 3.0 gpa shouldn’t be in college. He should be a ditch digger. He makes good money in the summer working two jobs. He’s happy. No anxiety or depression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if it’s even harder for parents who always excelled at everything. I was captain of every sports team I played on, was top 5 of my graduating high school and college classes and now as an adult director in my field. I have never not succeeded in what I have tried at. Op here

Where did you grow up, though??

DH and I both grew up in less competitive areas and had more successes while growing up than our kids have. Even though our kids are great.

My guess is that it’s nowhere near as competitive as the DMV in 2025. Just saying…