6th grader wants to wear off shoulder and belly button showing tops

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Midriffs are super-popular in 6th and even more so in MS. The girls like them because they really draw the boys’ attention.

YOu're a #boymom aren't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes my sixth grader wears such things. Though generally an off the shoulder top would be worn with a tank top under. And no super shirt crop tops but yes her midriff is sometimes exposed an inch or two

I don’t believe in weird policing or over sexualizing of girls bodies.

Exposing midriff not at all sexualizing. Dumb ass.

Are you sure about that? Why do you think they want to show off their stomach?

DP, but seriously? My kid just likes the way something feels or looks. Nothing sexual. I think you have an issue. Kid doesn't like the way longer shirts cover her shorts, doesn't like the way they feel when tucked in. So a cropped top that hits the mid is perfect.

lol. it is sexual. your kids are sexual beings. they have urges. they want sexual attention. they are immature. they equate attention as love. you are the parent and your job is to protect them and teach them to be discerning.

I don’t think a lot of middle school or 6th grade girls even realize the sexual component and what kind of attention they look like they are seeking. They see these images of women looking this way and emulate them without the maturity or life experience and context behind it. Then they are grossed out and shocked that a disgusting grown man catcalls them when walking in public.

They don’t want attention from a disgusting grown man but they do from the 6th, 7th, and 8th grade boys. It’s just biology.

[Anonymous]

Cover up. Students will be taken more seriously.

[Anonymous]

I hate the short shorts, crop tops, and other revealing clothing that my 8th grader likes to wear, but it’s not a hill I’m willing to die on. She understands revealing clothing can attract unwanted sexual attention, but she has not yet experienced any leering or harassment, and she just wants to “look cute” like all her friends. She will learn her own lesson if and when there’s a lesson to learn, I guess. She knows I disapprove, but I don’t forbid these items entirely because I know that feeling stylish and attractive are important for a teenage girl’s confidence, and I want her to feel good about her appearance, even if that means occasionally drawing the negative attention or judgment of adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate the short shorts, crop tops, and other revealing clothing that my 8th grader likes to wear, but it’s not a hill I’m willing to die on. She understands revealing clothing can attract unwanted sexual attention, but she has not yet experienced any leering or harassment, and she just wants to “look cute” like all her friends. She will learn her own lesson if and when there’s a lesson to learn, I guess. She knows I disapprove, but I don’t forbid these items entirely because I know that feeling stylish and attractive are important for a teenage girl’s confidence, and I want her to feel good about her appearance, even if that means occasionally drawing the negative attention or judgment of adults.

This is the best post yet.

Balanced and sane, and allowing some leeway to grow up and learn lessons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes the middle school girls in my kid’s UMC middle school have their midriffs showing and their actual behind cheeks hanging out of their shorts.

I have seen that too and it’s troubling. No way my middle schooler is going to school like that. I talk to my dd about the different ways girls and boys feel pressured to dress or appear. Eg “why don’t you see the boys walking around with their butt cheeks hanging out?”

[Anonymous]

Read the "my son wants to wear really short short threads".

The main response is be direct and say no.

[Anonymous]

The problem is that American fashion for teenagers is Terrible and this Althelesiure all the time or nothing at all needs to go.

You can wear an off the shoulder top or a midriff top and still look good. We however allow kids to wear a midriff top we shorts that might as well be cheerleader if bloomers. Or boys to wear pants so low they can barely walk without tripping. Or sweatpants where leisure slacks would be more appropriate.

We as a society either need to decide fashion matters no where OR start to teach and enforce appropriate entire for everyone , kids included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:College prof here and I literally have students wear sports bras as tops to class sometimes. I have students show up for networking events in crop tops. Ones who have been in meetings where we discussed what to wear.

Times are changing.

The thing is, hiring managers are mostly still older and not going to be very open to seeing belly buttons in interviews for a while. Or dirty flashy sneakers with dress pants.

When today's 6th graders are the managers? Who knows. But it's important to understand that that's not where we are today. I bring up the career stuff because I am guessing a lot of the kids who don't dress for the wide-range norms in these scenarios didn't encounter guidance or boundaries around clothing in their early life.

My middle schooler wears the typical outfits you find at the mall, which apparently some think means she is a sexualized child with terrible parents (I disagree).

But I do agree these clothes are not meant to be what she shows up wearing for a job interview, but she is well aware of this. She already knows she has to dress differently for church and Model UN. I do think some parents are forgetting to train their kids for what different settings look like.

That said, I attend board meetings for a private equity held company. And jeans with very expensive sneakers are the norm. I was working at a law firm in NYC in the mid-90s and there were lots of Ally McBeal short skirts then. So athleisure being the norm in corporate settings by 2040 would not shock me at all.

[Anonymous]

I never got the whole "ohmugherd her belly button is showing!" panic with tshirts or tops, but nobody bats an eye with two piece swimsuits, or sports bras when jogging or athletics, etc.

Or the shorts having to be x-amount above knee. Heard teachers actually measure sometimes. Those teachers would have had a fit in the 1970s-1980s.

Always figured that was some weird old school dress code restriction and people growing up with that rule got brainwashed by it.

[Anonymous]

lol. it is sexual. your kids are sexual beings. they have urges. they want sexual attention. they are immature. they equate attention as love. you are the parent and your job is to protect them and teach them to be discerning.

+100

Of course a 12-yr-old is sexual. Many already ha e gotten their periods and have breasts. At 12, many are already experimenting with other kids. A bunch of the kids at my DC's UMC high school lost their virginity at 14. Get your head out of the sand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her no and don't buy such things. You have complete control over her wardrobe at this point, I don't see how this is an issue if you aren't buying this garbage.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate the short shorts, crop tops, and other revealing clothing that my 8th grader likes to wear, but it’s not a hill I’m willing to die on. She understands revealing clothing can attract unwanted sexual attention, but she has not yet experienced any leering or harassment, and she just wants to “look cute” like all her friends. She will learn her own lesson if and when there’s a lesson to learn, I guess. She knows I disapprove, but I don’t forbid these items entirely because I know that feeling stylish and attractive are important for a teenage girl’s confidence, and I want her to feel good about her appearance, even if that means occasionally drawing the negative attention or judgment of adults.

But, she’s not ‘stylish’ or ‘attractive’

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:College prof here and I literally have students wear sports bras as tops to class sometimes. I have students show up for networking events in crop tops. Ones who have been in meetings where we discussed what to wear.

Times are changing.

The thing is, hiring managers are mostly still older and not going to be very open to seeing belly buttons in interviews for a while. Or dirty flashy sneakers with dress pants.

When today's 6th graders are the managers? Who knows. But it's important to understand that that's not where we are today. I bring up the career stuff because I am guessing a lot of the kids who don't dress for the wide-range norms in these scenarios didn't encounter guidance or boundaries around clothing in their early life.

My middle schooler wears the typical outfits you find at the mall, which apparently some think means she is a sexualized child with terrible parents (I disagree).

But I do agree these clothes are not meant to be what she shows up wearing for a job interview, but she is well aware of this. She already knows she has to dress differently for church and Model UN. I do think some parents are forgetting to train their kids for what different settings look like.

That said, I attend board meetings for a private equity held company. And jeans with very expensive sneakers are the norm. I was working at a law firm in NYC in the mid-90s and there were lots of Ally McBeal short skirts then. So athleisure being the norm in corporate settings by 2040 would not shock me at all.

Engineering and Tech already have casual but not athleisure generally. We don’t expect you to dress up unless it’s the clients norm, but we do still expect you to be presentable. Sure you can wear sneakers with dress clothes because it’s fashionable now(and no they don’t have to be Jordans), but they should stick work with the outfit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Midriffs are super-popular in 6th and even more so in MS. The girls like them because they really draw the boys’ attention.

YOu're a #boymom aren't you?

So what?