6th grader wants to wear off shoulder and belly button showing tops

[Anonymous]

No. And you should be worried for the next few years with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She insists that this is the fashion in her school.

Do middle schoolers that young actually wear these things? The kids I have seen haven't in the bus stops.

I don’t think so. Mother (me) is in charge as long as she’s paying. I don’t care what anyone else is wearing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Always thought it odd in the USA how dress codes for kids are so strict for regular students, but cheerleaders get to wear super short skirts and do flips showing off their undies and such, and the later is acceptable.

We had cheerleaders at my school who joined just to wear the short skirts and crop tops. Ever school day there was a football game they were allowed to wear the outfits to class to "increase spirit for the school".

That may be the trend OP, but I would just do either off the shoulder, or a crop top, but not both. 6th grade is a little young for all this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care what others are doing - not happening with my daughter.

+100

[Anonymous]

Be a parent, take a stand. You decide the dress code, stick with it.

If you want peers to dress your kid, be prepared for such daft arguments. The school won't do it.

You must stand up tall and tell your kid what to wear. -No the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think a belly button is sexual. Nor a shoulder. I let my dd wear these things because she’s comfortable in her body and I never was, I’m glad she has that confidence. If another kid gets turned on by her shoulder that’s not something I can control. People have foot fetishes but we all wear sandals and flip flops in the summer.

Ok keep telling yourself this while the boy moms think your daughter looks like a ho.

Uhhh mom of a middle school boy here. Definitely would not think this. In fact, was reading this trying to figure out why off the shoulder was such a big deal. A midriff shirt I get, but off the shoulders?

You think it’s ok for anyone to have their behind cheeks hanging out of their clothes at school or anywhere besides the beach for the matter. No one wants to sit where people have their bare behinds on the seat. I bet they won’t even sit on a toilet seat. It’s gross and not appropriate to walk around almost naked in public. It’s just not.

I mentioned off the shoulder shirts and maybe a midriff shirt. Same as OP. No one mentioned butt cheeks hanging out so I have no idea why you're saying I think it's ok for that to happen. And even if I did see one of DS' classmates wearing tiny shorts, I wouldn't think she was a ho. Appropriate? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:these should be against dress code.

In our middle school crop tops are not allowed. I haven’t heard them talk about shirts that are off the shoulders. I also have a son. I don’t think I have ever noticed anything egregious so either what they are wearing is nothing major, or I am not paying attention when I am at the school.
I have a younger daughter and I don’t plan on letting her wear them to school, but during summer/on weekends would be ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always thought it odd in the USA how dress codes for kids are so strict for regular students, but cheerleaders get to wear super short skirts and do flips showing off their undies and such, and the later is acceptable.

They are doing a sport. Similar to dance. Requires a certain uniform.

Why THAT particular very sexualized uniform, PP?

[Anonymous]

I would not take advice from the 60 year old WASPs of DCUM, OP.

[Anonymous]

Of course we don't want to sexualize 12-13 yos but that doesn't mean the creeper teacher, neighbor, teen boys don't. Gotta protect them they don't know what's out there and we can't pretend like it doesn't exist and be all "my body is so positive look at my ass cheeks, it's just an ass not sexual at all". Give me a break. There is clothes that's appropriate and you can still be confident in yourself without showing so much skin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She insists that this is the fashion in her school.

Do middle schoolers that young actually wear these things? The kids I have seen haven't in the bus stops.

Yes they do...my 7th grader boy reports these things regularly. As well as the oversize sweatshirts with an extra short bottom underneath that makes it look like they aren't wearing any.

I tell him all kids that age experiment, and to myself I add that my daughter (currently in 4th grade ) won't be allowed to wear that.

[Anonymous]

It’s my job to protect them. If they dressed like that, they’d be a target or victim. Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s my job to protect them. If they dressed like that, they’d be a target or victim. Absolutely not.

We have really strict modesty standards in our home, but absolutely for fricking no will I blame any girl or woman's outfits for them being a target or a victim. We have our standards because of self-respect, not because I think any woman (or man) ever asks to be assaulted. Assailants are the problem, not those attacked. Good grief people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s my job to protect them. If they dressed like that, they’d be a target or victim. Absolutely not.

I’m curious what you think you are protecting them from. Do you really think a predatory adult is more likely to prey on a 13 year old wearing a skirt from aerie over a girl in sweatpants? Because I don’t think that is how predators work. I do think that girls who look “younger” may be less likely to have a 16-18 year old boy flirt with them. But I also think most 16-18 year olds would be horrified when they learn the girl is 12 or 13. And if they are not horrified, then again, I don’t think the problem is actually what the younger girl was wearing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes my sixth grader wears such things. Though generally an off the shoulder top would be worn with a tank top under. And no super shirt crop tops but yes her midriff is sometimes exposed an inch or two

I don’t believe in weird policing or over sexualizing of girls bodies.

Exposing midriff not at all sexualizing. Dumb ass.

Are you sure about that? Why do you think they want to show off their stomach?

DP, but seriously? My kid just likes the way something feels or looks. Nothing sexual. I think you have an issue. Kid doesn't like the way longer shirts cover her shorts, doesn't like the way they feel when tucked in. So a cropped top that hits the mid is perfect.