How is Sorority Rush going?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are many 'exclusive', ie excluding, groups within the college experience. The business club culture is brutal, acceptance often driven by 'connections', athletic cliques at certain schools drive the social structure, clubbing w/bottle service thats accessible only by those with $$$. I am not a big fan of sororities, but I don't get the hate for a voluntary, women-centered social structure that provides a sense of belonging for those who choose to join. In college, i joined a number of groups, had a job and even joined a sorority (was not my plan bc never thought of myself as a 'sorority' girl but met nice girls who encouraged me and made me reassess my own bias). I think college is about academic, social, and emotional growth. Kids will explore, assess, have disappointments, build resilience, and eventually find their way. Rush is tough, but the job search is another impending world of judgenent and rejection kids will ultimately face...

Okay sure but a job is going to pay you instead of you having to pay it. I was not in a sorority but I spent a lot of time one summer with some tophouse sorority girls and I thought there was a big cost to it as well in addition to just the money.

There was a huge percentage of eating disorders in the community. And a huge amount of judgment going on based on who was in what sorority or fraternity who they would date who they wouldn't date what it said about this person or that person. I was impressed with the rigidity of it all.

[Anonymous]

Not well! I was dropped from Kappa Kappa Banana and only got Oozma Sigma Epsilon back.

I should’ve worn my Gucci belt and Cartier love bracelet instead of my Louis Vuitton bag. I just KNOW IT!!!!

how will I ever get into the good frat parties

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's tough everywhere, OP.

The universal problem at every school is that all of the girls rushing want the same top, few sororities. If she can be happy anywhere, you'll be fine. If your daughter insists on being an XYZ, she's likely to be disappointed.

Depends on the girl and any hooks she has.

What kind of hooks?

Pretty, uber rich, skinny

How would ppl even know if you are rich?

Where you went to high school, what you’re wearing, where you spent Winter break… not hard to discern.

This. I have boys, but they went to HADES schools, we own a vacation home in Europe and a ski home out west. Not hard for people to figure out.

[Anonymous]

Everything about sorority rush sounds awful for 18 year girls away from home for the first time. The process is a social and psychological minefield. It's like a reality tv show where the stakes are very real. To be rejected because you don't have the right purse or don't vacation on St. Barts is ridiculous. I don't know why educated families allow their daughters to participate in sororities today. It may have made sense 50 years ago to find friends and perhaps a husband. But everything about sororities today seems cruel and stupid.

[Anonymous]

Few subjects bring out the teenage trolls faster than a Greek thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything about sorority rush sounds awful for 18 year girls away from home for the first time. The process is a social and psychological minefield. It's like a reality tv show where the stakes are very real. To be rejected because you don't have the right purse or don't vacation on St. Barts is ridiculous. I don't know why educated families allow their daughters to participate in sororities today. It may have made sense 50 years ago to find friends and perhaps a husband. But everything about sororities today seems cruel and stupid.

Some people are very well educated about purses and vacations. If they want to have a club, have a club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does the National Panhellenic decide how many girls can be in each house? If there are 9 houses and 90 % of the girls want the same 3 houses, why cant the popular house expand to accommodate more girls? They try to force all these girls into the houses with weird or awkward girls (sorry but true) and then they just end up dropping out and are traumatized. Why cant you just have 5 really big sororities? It makes no sense to me. It is just brutal and mean to these girls.

Exactly. They use the girls for their own agenda. And it’s not just three houses. They could expand 6 or 8 houses. Or instead of adding a new house that no one there is familiar with, they could pick one that has some name recognition.

Auburn did this and therefore “welcomed” 17 year olds the week before their first semester by giving many of them nothing but the newest house with zero regional name recognition by mid week. They didn’t even really get to experience rush week. It was more like two days. That’s an expensive two days.

Meanwhile, the guys meet other guys naturally and when one says “hey, you should join us” and they do. No emotional insanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so messed up. Glad my daughters are completely uninterested in Greek nonsense.

This.

As a Brit couple that has been living in the DC for the last 12 years, it is beyond comprehension how absurd what these girls and families are willing to do to be a part of the Greek system. Such an American idiotic pay to play group…..

you guys have the royals so there is that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is in a sorority at an SEC school, and we are solidly middle class. She went into the process with an open mind, chose a house where she truly connected with the girls, and is having a great experience. Her sorority sisters are her best friends at school, and many of their families have “adopted” her on holidays and family weekends when we’re unable to fly down. There are definitely parts of the rush process that seem “icky,” but I think it goes both ways. Most of the girls who have a bad experience or feel devastated went into it with the mindset
that only certain houses are “good enough” for them. You can find sisterhood in all of them and, when it comes to getting invited to parties and formals, the guys are more interested in the individual girl than the rank of her house.

💯💯💯💯💯

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the outrage over girls that are upset if they are dropped by the top houses? Of course they are not interested in joining a group of girls in the lower houses that have nothing in common with them. These dropped girls were very popular in high school, are smart, beautiful and fun. They have always been at the top of the social standing at their various schools. It is not odd that they would expect to be in the top sorority at college. It is a shock and let down when they are rejected. The girls in these top houses are their people, not the nerdier girls that are in the bottom houses struggling for members. Obviously, the girls in the bottom houses are probably kind, smart and great people, but they are not a match for the girl that was the top of the food chain at their high school. Surely you get this. Admitting this online in an anonymous forum does not make you a horrible person. It is reality.

Gross.

100% gross. Top of the food chain??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the outrage over girls that are upset if they are dropped by the top houses? Of course they are not interested in joining a group of girls in the lower houses that have nothing in common with them. These dropped girls were very popular in high school, are smart, beautiful and fun. They have always been at the top of the social standing at their various schools. It is not odd that they would expect to be in the top sorority at college. It is a shock and let down when they are rejected. The girls in these top houses are their people, not the nerdier girls that are in the bottom houses struggling for members. Obviously, the girls in the bottom houses are probably kind, smart and great people, but they are not a match for the girl that was the top of the food chain at their high school. Surely you get this. Admitting this online in an anonymous forum does not make you a horrible person. It is reality.

Omg.

But to play your crappy thought game, obviously those top houses are not “their people” if they are rejected by them. One might consider themselves “top of the food chain” in their hometown, but that isn’t guaranteed to translate in college. Sounds like a pretty humbling experience and growth opportunity for a girl with a myopic world view.

+1

Just another example of a big fish in a small pond getting a surprise when they're suddenly surrounded by other "big fish". Same as with academics, arts, sports, anything you can think of.

Also, ugh.

+2. I went to a school without Greek life, but the whole looking down on the "nerdier" girls sounds like a 1990s teen rom com. Time to move on - plenty of nerds join with the big fish in running the world after college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so messed up. Glad my daughters are completely uninterested in Greek nonsense.

This.

As a Brit couple that has been living in the DC for the last 12 years, it is beyond comprehension how absurd what these girls and families are willing to do to be a part of the Greek system. Such an American idiotic pay to play group…..

you guys have the royals so there is that

And the entire nobility...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is in a sorority at an SEC school, and we are solidly middle class. She went into the process with an open mind, chose a house where she truly connected with the girls, and is having a great experience. Her sorority sisters are her best friends at school, and many of their families have “adopted” her on holidays and family weekends when we’re unable to fly down. There are definitely parts of the rush process that seem “icky,” but I think it goes both ways. Most of the girls who have a bad experience or feel devastated went into it with the mindset
that only certain houses are “good enough” for them. You can find sisterhood in all of them and, when it comes to getting invited to parties and formals, the guys are more interested in the individual girl than the rank of her house.

💯💯💯💯💯

“She chose a house where she truly connected with the girls”

What a luxury.

At some schools, it’s organized in such a way that the girl rushing gets no agency. She never gets “a choice” other than to take a house where there was no connection or drop out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's tough everywhere, OP.

The universal problem at every school is that all of the girls rushing want the same top, few sororities. If she can be happy anywhere, you'll be fine. If your daughter insists on being an XYZ, she's likely to be disappointed.

Depends on the girl and any hooks she has.

What kind of hooks?

Pretty, uber rich, skinny

Not enough. You need to know girls in the house already.

So it's essentially high school, part II?
Isn't that part of the knock on those who stay local to college, that it's you and your HS all over again? go figure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is in a sorority at an SEC school, and we are solidly middle class. She went into the process with an open mind, chose a house where she truly connected with the girls, and is having a great experience. Her sorority sisters are her best friends at school, and many of their families have “adopted” her on holidays and family weekends when we’re unable to fly down. There are definitely parts of the rush process that seem “icky,” but I think it goes both ways. Most of the girls who have a bad experience or feel devastated went into it with the mindset that only certain houses are “good enough” for them. You can find sisterhood in all of them and, when it comes to getting invited to parties and formals, the guys are more interested in the individual girl than the rank of her house.

+100