How is Sorority Rush going?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is in a sorority at an SEC school, and we are solidly middle class. She went into the process with an open mind, chose a house where she truly connected with the girls, and is having a great experience. Her sorority sisters are her best friends at school, and many of their families have “adopted” her on holidays and family weekends when we’re unable to fly down. There are definitely parts of the rush process that seem “icky,” but I think it goes both ways. Most of the girls who have a bad experience or feel devastated went into it with the mindset
that only certain houses are “good enough” for them. You can find sisterhood in all of them and, when it comes to getting invited to parties and formals, the guys are more interested in the individual girl than the rank of her house.

💯💯💯💯💯

“She chose a house where she truly connected with the girls”

What a luxury.

At some schools, it’s organized in such a way that the girl rushing gets no agency. She never gets “a choice” other than to take a house where there was no connection or drop out.

Is there "no connection" after genuinely giving these girls a chance, or because she already decided at the outset that she didn't want that house? Be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is in a sorority at an SEC school, and we are solidly middle class. She went into the process with an open mind, chose a house where she truly connected with the girls, and is having a great experience. Her sorority sisters are her best friends at school, and many of their families have “adopted” her on holidays and family weekends when we’re unable to fly down. There are definitely parts of the rush process that seem “icky,” but I think it goes both ways. Most of the girls who have a bad experience or feel devastated went into it with the mindset
that only certain houses are “good enough” for them. You can find sisterhood in all of them and, when it comes to getting invited to parties and formals, the guys are more interested in the individual girl than the rank of her house.

💯💯💯💯💯

“She chose a house where she truly connected with the girls”

What a luxury.

At some schools, it’s organized in such a way that the girl rushing gets no agency. She never gets “a choice” other than to take a house where there was no connection or drop out.

Is there "no connection" after genuinely giving these girls a chance, or because she already decided at the outset that she didn't want that house? Be honest.

So there must be a connection at every single house then. Isn’t it amazing that everyone can feel authentic, sincere connection at every house’s 20 minute mixer with 100 girls on Monday and Tuesday. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's tough everywhere, OP.

The universal problem at every school is that all of the girls rushing want the same top, few sororities. If she can be happy anywhere, you'll be fine. If your daughter insists on being an XYZ, she's likely to be disappointed.

Depends on the girl and any hooks she has.

What kind of hooks?

Pretty, uber rich, skinny

Not enough. You need to know girls in the house already.

So it's essentially high school, part II?
Isn't that part of the knock on those who stay local to college, that it's you and your HS all over again? go figure.

Yes, at least at some schools where the most determinative factor is how many girls you know who are already in the house.

[Anonymous]

At some sec schools, there may be more legacies rushing the so called top sororities than places available that year: quota. These sorts of groups already have an official list of girls they want before rush ever begins. Yes, it should be possible to get a bid if you accept all your invitations each round, if you understood recommendations were necessary and if there actually are enough spots for every rushee. In the past, at least, I believe Indiana was one of those schools with more rushees than spots available.

It's one of those experiences where understanding what is happening may be very helpful. It's not a level playing field and definitely exclusionary in ways perhaps impossible for outsiders to see. A whole lot more is going on than judging zip codes, weight, and designer goods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At some sec schools, there may be more legacies rushing the so called top sororities than places available that year: quota. These sorts of groups already have an official list of girls they want before rush ever begins. Yes, it should be possible to get a bid if you accept all your invitations each round, if you understood recommendations were necessary and if there actually are enough spots for every rushee. In the past, at least, I believe Indiana was one of those schools with more rushees than spots available.

It's one of those experiences where understanding what is happening may be very helpful. It's not a level playing field and definitely exclusionary in ways perhaps impossible for outsiders to see. A whole lot more is going on than judging zip codes, weight, and designer goods.

Very true. Auburn rush got so messy, even a triple legacy couldn’t count on that house being an option by second round.

Panhellenic exists to make money. That’s all. They will do what’s best for corporate growth.

[Anonymous]

Why would any smart, high achieving, successful young man ever want to date a drama queen, whose priorities (Purses, Vacation Homes, Clothes, Hair Color, etc) are so out of line with the real world?

Quite frankly as someone who was in a sorority 25 yrs ago at a t20 school, i have advised my two sons to stay away from sorority girls when looking to find a decent girl to marry one day.

80% of my sorority sisters and their sorority relatives are now either divorced or unhappy people…. Go figure

[Anonymous]

Wow…sounds like you picked the wrong house. I was in a sorority and am still close with several of my sisters. They work in medicine, law, finance, education and many other professions. My daughter is also in a sorority, and she has sisters who are studying engineering, accounting, computer science and other tough majors. The girls study together, and the sorority offers seminars on writing resumes, preparing for interviews and networking. They also have a huge alumni network to help the girls once they graduate. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, and there is partying too, but there are plenty of “decent girls” to be found.

Anonymous wrote:Why would any smart, high achieving, successful young man ever want to date a drama queen, whose priorities (Purses, Vacation Homes, Clothes, Hair Color, etc) are so out of line with the real world?

Quite frankly as someone who was in a sorority 25 yrs ago at a t20 school, i have advised my two sons to stay away from sorority girls when looking to find a decent girl to marry one day.

80% of my sorority sisters and their sorority relatives are now either divorced or unhappy people…. Go figure

[Anonymous]

My nephew who played football at a SEC school and graduated a couple years ago said that many sorority members majored in Mrs their senior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would any smart, high achieving, successful young man ever want to date a drama queen, whose priorities (Purses, Vacation Homes, Clothes, Hair Color, etc) are so out of line with the real world?

Quite frankly as someone who was in a sorority 25 yrs ago at a t20 school, i have advised my two sons to stay away from sorority girls when looking to find a decent girl to marry one day.

80% of my sorority sisters and their sorority relatives are now either divorced or unhappy people…. Go figure

I don't think most boys choose their partner based on their mother's advice, but OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's tough everywhere, OP.

The universal problem at every school is that all of the girls rushing want the same top, few sororities. If she can be happy anywhere, you'll be fine. If your daughter insists on being an XYZ, she's likely to be disappointed.

Depends on the girl and any hooks she has.

What kind of hooks?

Pretty, uber rich, skinny

How would ppl even know if you are rich?

It's called "zip coding" at my DD school. She zip-coded well, wore a lot of Love Shack Fancy and all her Cartier.
Sad but true.

So they want girls that dress like prostitutes?

[Anonymous]

How is rush at med size private colleges (vs large sec/flagship schools)? For example, a school like Upenn. Is the rush process as competitive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything about sorority rush sounds awful for 18 year girls away from home for the first time. The process is a social and psychological minefield. It's like a reality tv show where the stakes are very real. To be rejected because you don't have the right purse or don't vacation on St. Barts is ridiculous. I don't know why educated families allow their daughters to participate in sororities today. It may have made sense 50 years ago to find friends and perhaps a husband. But everything about sororities today seems cruel and stupid.

Sorry you didn't get a bid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything about sorority rush sounds awful for 18 year girls away from home for the first time. The process is a social and psychological minefield. It's like a reality tv show where the stakes are very real. To be rejected because you don't have the right purse or don't vacation on St. Barts is ridiculous. I don't know why educated families allow their daughters to participate in sororities today. It may have made sense 50 years ago to find friends and perhaps a husband. But everything about sororities today seems cruel and stupid.

Sorry you didn't get a bid.

Are you on winter break or did you never grow up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would any smart, high achieving, successful young man ever want to date a drama queen, whose priorities (Purses, Vacation Homes, Clothes, Hair Color, etc) are so out of line with the real world?

Quite frankly as someone who was in a sorority 25 yrs ago at a t20 school, i have advised my two sons to stay away from sorority girls when looking to find a decent girl to marry one day.

80% of my sorority sisters and their sorority relatives are now either divorced or unhappy people…. Go figure

SEC sorority in late 1970s. My sorority sisters became politicians, judges, PhD engineers, lawyers, doctors, successful business owners. The politicians had political fathers. Sorority sisters took over their family real estate firms, accounting firms, law firms, etc. Some are running their husband's family business. I can only think of one divorce. Those who became sahms did significant volunteer work. Yes, I'm describing a whole lot of privilege and networking in rather closed communities. Some of the next generation followed the same path. But not always. Still watching it play out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is rush at med size private colleges (vs large sec/flagship schools)? For example, a school like Upenn. Is the rush process as competitive?

Maybe look at Greek chat, if you haven't already. It's a beginning.