What percentage of married couples do you think are unfaithful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: This morning he complained that we haven’t had sex in a year and I said “then what was it that we were doing at 11 last night”.

I assume he meant “we haven’t had sex at all this year”?

NP. Remember when you were a kid and at 11:59, some other little kid would be like “see you next year!” That PP’s husband did the equivalent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how you classify cheating. If we are including emotional affairs, I would say it's upward of 60-70%. Physical affairs 50%.

It’s way more common today.

Wait until you are in midlife. You will hear about it a lot. Shocked in my 50s about all the cheating I’ve learned of

[Anonymous]

7%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so easy to put an air tag in the spouses car or hidden cameras. Cheating is not easy.

People don’t suspect it.

It’s incredibly easy not to get caught in 2024.

Google voice—no text message, cell calls or traceable way to detect communication. The internet is filled with info on how to get away with it too. Even how to hack iPhone location detectors.

100% agree. Those who think it is hard are so naive. STDs and other spouse are how they typically get outed - if at all.

[Anonymous]

Former Sugar Baby here. I'd say about 75% of men cheat. All those men that work long hours will make time in the middle of the day to cheat. They claim to "love their wives and children" They'll cheat on a random Tuesday during lunch and then make it to their kids soccer game that evening. It's also men you would never suspect and they bring their friends around too, and yes there friends are cheating as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think 70% are miserable, but I only think 50% pull the trigger

Agree it’s about 50% to 70%.

Women are less likely to get caught than men, so much of the cheating goes undetected.

[Anonymous]

People tend to project attributes of their own marriage onto the population at large. So those people here who haven't cheated are answering in the 10% range, while those who have are answering 50% or more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People tend to project attributes of their own marriage onto the population at large. So those people here who haven't cheated are answering in the 10% range, while those who have are answering 50% or more.

I can see that.

I'm also with the 80-20 PP.....and think the real answer is ~20% (physically) cheat. Personally, though, I've only known of one -- a family member who was the AP multiple times and had no guilt. Thrice divorced themselves by the age of 35, I did not avail myself of their "relationship" advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would guess that this follows a fairly normal bell curve distribution with 20 pct being intensely faithful and 20 pct being in longer term or multiple affairs (which I’m defining as physical with intercourse).

In between I would guess from my own experience that most people have strayed a little emotionally and/or had physical interactions that fall short of sex (e.g. making out at a bar) depending on what arouses them. I’m pretty average in every way but often find school moms as well as total randoms flirting with me or giving me an inviting look which cues me to chat them up. I have zero interest in leaving my spouse so the furthest I’ve taken anything is just a few one on one playdates and some flirtatious text banter with a bored mom, but am sure those looking to go further can do so easily.

Agree with those who have said that monogamy is not human nature, particularly in 40s and 50s when you haven’t dated and slept around in some time. We reign in our instincts to salvage a healthy family rearing and financial structure. On the flip side also think alternative arrangements like polyamory are a bit weird; if you’re going to cheat just blow it up completely or operate completely under the radar screen.

💯- we reign in our instincts to salvage a healthy family rearing and financial structure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that this has been studied and the number is somewhere in the 20s%

15-20% married infidelity

People are too busy for affairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not the percentage that are divorced. But include couples who are unfaithful and their spouse never finds out or they know but don’t divorce.

I think it’s around 70%.

Sheesh. This is such a pessimistic outlook.

I’m one of four adult kids and suspect that 1 or 2 out of 4 of our marriages have had infidelity though - suspect one long term and other during a rough patch.

I honestly can’t imagine any of my good friends marriages having cheating going on though. I might be naive, just not as close to them, or maybe it’s that we’re younger than my siblings, but I imagine the percentage is much lower among my friends. I’ve heard of some stories of affairs among other couples around my age at my kids school, but they seem like outliers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would guess that this follows a fairly normal bell curve distribution with 20 pct being intensely faithful and 20 pct being in longer term or multiple affairs (which I’m defining as physical with intercourse).

In between I would guess from my own experience that most people have strayed a little emotionally and/or had physical interactions that fall short of sex (e.g. making out at a bar) depending on what arouses them. I’m pretty average in every way but often find school moms as well as total randoms flirting with me or giving me an inviting look which cues me to chat them up. I have zero interest in leaving my spouse so the furthest I’ve taken anything is just a few one on one playdates and some flirtatious text banter with a bored mom, but am sure those looking to go further can do so easily.

Agree with those who have said that monogamy is not human nature, particularly in 40s and 50s when you haven’t dated and slept around in some time. We reign in our instincts to salvage a healthy family rearing and financial structure. On the flip side also think alternative arrangements like polyamory are a bit weird; if you’re going to cheat just blow it up completely or operate completely under the radar screen.

💯- we reign in our instincts to salvage a healthy family rearing and financial structure.

I’m a 50 year old woman and completely agree with all of this.
But I am very surprised by my desire to still feel sexually alive at this age and it’s not really compatible with a long term marriage. I had no idea these feelings would surface at this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would guess that this follows a fairly normal bell curve distribution with 20 pct being intensely faithful and 20 pct being in longer term or multiple affairs (which I’m defining as physical with intercourse).

In between I would guess from my own experience that most people have strayed a little emotionally and/or had physical interactions that fall short of sex (e.g. making out at a bar) depending on what arouses them. I’m pretty average in every way but often find school moms as well as total randoms flirting with me or giving me an inviting look which cues me to chat them up. I have zero interest in leaving my spouse so the furthest I’ve taken anything is just a few one on one playdates and some flirtatious text banter with a bored mom, but am sure those looking to go further can do so easily.

Agree with those who have said that monogamy is not human nature, particularly in 40s and 50s when you haven’t dated and slept around in some time. We reign in our instincts to salvage a healthy family rearing and financial structure. On the flip side also think alternative arrangements like polyamory are a bit weird; if you’re going to cheat just blow it up completely or operate completely under the radar screen.

💯- we reign in our instincts to salvage a healthy family rearing and financial structure.

I’m a 50 year old woman and completely agree with all of this.
But I am very surprised by my desire to still feel sexually alive at this age and it’s not really compatible with a long term marriage. I had no idea these feelings would surface at this age.

Yep - 44 year old woman and same. I believe monogamy is a choice and not an instinct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would guess that this follows a fairly normal bell curve distribution with 20 pct being intensely faithful and 20 pct being in longer term or multiple affairs (which I’m defining as physical with intercourse).

In between I would guess from my own experience that most people have strayed a little emotionally and/or had physical interactions that fall short of sex (e.g. making out at a bar) depending on what arouses them. I’m pretty average in every way but often find school moms as well as total randoms flirting with me or giving me an inviting look which cues me to chat them up. I have zero interest in leaving my spouse so the furthest I’ve taken anything is just a few one on one playdates and some flirtatious text banter with a bored mom, but am sure those looking to go further can do so easily.

Agree with those who have said that monogamy is not human nature, particularly in 40s and 50s when you haven’t dated and slept around in some time. We reign in our instincts to salvage a healthy family rearing and financial structure. On the flip side also think alternative arrangements like polyamory are a bit weird; if you’re going to cheat just blow it up completely or operate completely under the radar screen.

💯- we reign in our instincts to salvage a healthy family rearing and financial structure.

I’m a 50 year old woman and completely agree with all of this.
But I am very surprised by my desire to still feel sexually alive at this age and it’s not really compatible with a long term marriage. I had no idea these feelings would surface at this age.

Yep - 44 year old woman and same. I believe monogamy is a choice and not an instinct.

47 yo woman and same.

I’m more energetic and sexual than ever but it’s too bad DH doesn’t care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would guess that this follows a fairly normal bell curve distribution with 20 pct being intensely faithful and 20 pct being in longer term or multiple affairs (which I’m defining as physical with intercourse).

In between I would guess from my own experience that most people have strayed a little emotionally and/or had physical interactions that fall short of sex (e.g. making out at a bar) depending on what arouses them. I’m pretty average in every way but often find school moms as well as total randoms flirting with me or giving me an inviting look which cues me to chat them up. I have zero interest in leaving my spouse so the furthest I’ve taken anything is just a few one on one playdates and some flirtatious text banter with a bored mom, but am sure those looking to go further can do so easily.

Agree with those who have said that monogamy is not human nature, particularly in 40s and 50s when you haven’t dated and slept around in some time. We reign in our instincts to salvage a healthy family rearing and financial structure. On the flip side also think alternative arrangements like polyamory are a bit weird; if you’re going to cheat just blow it up completely or operate completely under the radar screen.

💯- we reign in our instincts to salvage a healthy family rearing and financial structure.

I’m a 50 year old woman and completely agree with all of this.
But I am very surprised by my desire to still feel sexually alive at this age and it’s not really compatible with a long term marriage. I had no idea these feelings would surface at this age.

Yep - 44 year old woman and same. I believe monogamy is a choice and not an instinct.

47 yo woman and same.

I’m more energetic and sexual than ever but it’s too bad DH doesn’t care.

Let me know when you choose non-monogamy!