Why have you cut off friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have kept my distance from difficult people, but the only person I’ve actually gone no contact with was someone who seemed nice but engaged in intentional crazy-making. Like contacting me all the time, then disappearing for a week, then reappearing like nothing happened. Then making plans for Wednesday, failing to show up, then saying I thought you said Thursday!!! Saying they loved coffee, then you get them a coffee and they say they don’t drink coffee. Total waste of time. Then I tried to distance myself and the person doubled down on contacting me. I had to say that I wished them well but it’s for the best if we don’t remain in contact. Then they tried to contact me again, and I blocked everywhere. Still don’t understand why someone would behave like that.

Sounds like mental health issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In college I had a friend freshman year who was a lot of fun but increasingly seemed unstable and unwell (like maybe abusing alcohol or drugs). She didn’t return to college sophomore year and didn’t tell anyone or say goodbye. I hadn’t been brave enough to live alone and my other friends paired off so I was supposed to be her roommate and found out I was living with a transfer student when that student called me a few days before school started. The woman I was supposed to live with then called me in the middle of the semester when she had to return to campus for a legal case. I was terrified she’d ask me to be a character witnesses and I just told her I thought it would be best if we kept our distance. I was in tears and my roommate - who wasn’t on the best terms with me - very kindly called my boyfriend (now husband) to come support me.

I have another friend who I’ve distanced myself from because we met while volunteering and she seemed great. She’s interesting and a lot of fun but she really wanted to insert herself into my life and the kids’ lives quickly. Like she asked if my 4 year old could have a sleep over with her. It might have been out of a good place offering me a night off, but I definitely didn’t know her well enough for that. For instance I hadn’t met her husband. My husband especially really questioned her judgement. I was trying to figure out how to get some distance, but she moved far away. I wish her the best but also am glad for the naturally created space.

Hopefully she was just joking about the sleepover. That's insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

It’s weird when leftists are so confident in doing this and yet a central criticism they have of “Christian Nationalists” is that they are closed to different perspectives and should be more tolerant of diversity of religion and try to find commonality among people who don’t share their faith. (I agree with all of that—btw—but do not find that those on the far left practice what they preach any longer)

It’s as though leftists have zero concept that your politics has become YOUR religion and you have labeled anyone who does not subscribe to it to be a sinner who is doomed to hell for not accepting your religion. And so therefor you cannot imagine associating with such people because obviously YOUR religion is superior and you are the correct thinkers on every issue and must only surround yourself with people who ascribe to these same beliefs so that they are reinforced and upheld. It is the intolerant arrogance that permeates your circle. And I get it. You feel morally entitled to this view.

But please explain to me again how this way of thinking is at all a liberal viewpoint? How are you more open and tolerant than those people you despise and insulate yourself from? How is that different from a Christian refusing to associate with a Muslim due to their different beliefs and values? Or a Muslim declining to associate with a Jew?

Politics as your religion is what this is. And redemption in your religion is conversion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

It’s weird when leftists are so confident in doing this and yet a central criticism they have of “Christian Nationalists” is that they are closed to different perspectives and should be more tolerant of diversity of religion and try to find commonality among people who don’t share their faith. (I agree with all of that—btw—but do not find that those on the far left practice what they preach any longer)

It’s as though leftists have zero concept that your politics has become YOUR religion and you have labeled anyone who does not subscribe to it to be a sinner who is doomed to hell for not accepting your religion. And so therefor you cannot imagine associating with such people because obviously YOUR religion is superior and you are the correct thinkers on every issue and must only surround yourself with people who ascribe to these same beliefs so that they are reinforced and upheld. It is the intolerant arrogance that permeates your circle. And I get it. You feel morally entitled to this view.

But please explain to me again how this way of thinking is at all a liberal viewpoint? How are you more open and tolerant than those people you despise and insulate yourself from? How is that different from a Christian refusing to associate with a Muslim due to their different beliefs and values? Or a Muslim declining to associate with a Jew?

Politics as your religion is what this is. And redemption in your religion is conversion.

It’s wild how you just memorize talking points and repeat them.

It’s not different perspectives, it’s different values. Christian nationalist value money of human life. They rape, pillage, lie, hate, worship, false god.

I religious by the way and conservative. I’m just not a wacko.

Jesus hated a hypocrite

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

bigoted reaction

DP, but nah. I'm trans. If you're openly supportive of someone with openly anti-trans policies, you're openly anti-me.

We can't be friends.

Sooo, you get to be bigoted but others can't?

Sounds about right.

+1

[Anonymous]

The Trump-supporting friend I distanced myself from used to be a Democrat and was even opposed to the invasion of Iraq in its early days. After she retired she started spending a lot of time on the internet going down conspiracy holes. Conversations with her became tedious and I'm sure she also did not enjoy my company either since I pushed back on her arguments, such as Ukraine belongs to Russia. I think the decision to distance was mutual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

It’s weird when leftists are so confident in doing this and yet a central criticism they have of “Christian Nationalists” is that they are closed to different perspectives and should be more tolerant of diversity of religion and try to find commonality among people who don’t share their faith. (I agree with all of that—btw—but do not find that those on the far left practice what they preach any longer)

It’s as though leftists have zero concept that your politics has become YOUR religion and you have labeled anyone who does not subscribe to it to be a sinner who is doomed to hell for not accepting your religion. And so therefor you cannot imagine associating with such people because obviously YOUR religion is superior and you are the correct thinkers on every issue and must only surround yourself with people who ascribe to these same beliefs so that they are reinforced and upheld. It is the intolerant arrogance that permeates your circle. And I get it. You feel morally entitled to this view.

But please explain to me again how this way of thinking is at all a liberal viewpoint? How are you more open and tolerant than those people you despise and insulate yourself from? How is that different from a Christian refusing to associate with a Muslim due to their different beliefs and values? Or a Muslim declining to associate with a Jew?

Politics as your religion is what this is. And redemption in your religion is conversion.

It’s wild how you just memorize talking points and repeat them.

It’s not different perspectives, it’s different values. Christian nationalist value money of human life. They rape, pillage, lie, hate, worship, false god.

I religious by the way and conservative. I’m just not a wacko.

Jesus hated a hypocrite

What a strange response.
I’m neither a Christian nationalist nor a conservative.
Simply pointing out the similarities in how ideological extremist views between leftists who cut people out of their lives for “different values” and right-wing extremists who justify doing the same for same reasons.

Except now the intolerance has been expanded to all Trump voters, which is over half the frickin’ country. And assumptions made about motivations of those voters in order to villainize other and weaponize their vote such that if they dont mark the (D) box like PP, it is acceptable to dismiss that persons perspective as anything other than your perceived assumptions about their bigotries or “hatred”
The religion of politics has blinded rational thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

It’s weird when leftists are so confident in doing this and yet a central criticism they have of “Christian Nationalists” is that they are closed to different perspectives and should be more tolerant of diversity of religion and try to find commonality among people who don’t share their faith. (I agree with all of that—btw—but do not find that those on the far left practice what they preach any longer)

It’s as though leftists have zero concept that your politics has become YOUR religion and you have labeled anyone who does not subscribe to it to be a sinner who is doomed to hell for not accepting your religion. And so therefor you cannot imagine associating with such people because obviously YOUR religion is superior and you are the correct thinkers on every issue and must only surround yourself with people who ascribe to these same beliefs so that they are reinforced and upheld. It is the intolerant arrogance that permeates your circle. And I get it. You feel morally entitled to this view.

But please explain to me again how this way of thinking is at all a liberal viewpoint? How are you more open and tolerant than those people you despise and insulate yourself from? How is that different from a Christian refusing to associate with a Muslim due to their different beliefs and values? Or a Muslim declining to associate with a Jew?

Politics as your religion is what this is. And redemption in your religion is conversion.

It’s wild how you just memorize talking points and repeat them.

It’s not different perspectives, it’s different values. Christian nationalist value money of human life. They rape, pillage, lie, hate, worship, false god.

I religious by the way and conservative. I’m just not a wacko.

Jesus hated a hypocrite

What a strange response.
I’m neither a Christian nationalist nor a conservative.
Simply pointing out the similarities in how ideological extremist views between leftists who cut people out of their lives for “different values” and right-wing extremists who justify doing the same for same reasons.

Except now the intolerance has been expanded to all Trump voters, which is over half the frickin’ country. And assumptions made about motivations of those voters in order to villainize other and weaponize their vote such that if they dont mark the (D) box like PP, it is acceptable to dismiss that persons perspective as anything other than your perceived assumptions about their bigotries or “hatred”
The religion of politics has blinded rational thought.

8:06 here. This is not what I wrote. Please stop twisting my words.

[Anonymous]

I am about to distance myself from a friend who has been absolutely feral since the election, is a leftist and just won't stop talking / posting about the election.

[Anonymous]

I have never cut off a friend. I did a slow fade once when I realized I thought we were closer friends than we actually were.

I’ve had two best friends cut me off and stop talking to me without any further communication or explanation. One female in high school and one male (gay).

Fwiw, I am cute and petite and happily married. I am a mom and am creative but mentally stable. I make friends easily and am fun. I work in a helping profession (mental health) and take a lot of stragglers under my wing. I think I am too caring and giving and need to set more boundaries to avoid these issues.

[Anonymous]

I’ve cut off two friends.

1) was sudden and obvious. We planned a trip to Mexico and at the last minute she decided to go with boyfriend and I was left out.

2) friend was a good friend. But she constantly put me down. I don’t think she realized it - but she did nothing but make me feel not good enough for her and her rich friends. So I just faded away. It is still awkward as it is a small neighborhood but I am happy I don’t have to worry about not being good enough oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never cut off a friend. I did a slow fade once when I realized I thought we were closer friends than we actually were.

I’ve had two best friends cut me off and stop talking to me without any further communication or explanation. One female in high school and one male (gay).

Fwiw, I am cute and petite and happily married. I am a mom and am creative but mentally stable. I make friends easily and am fun. I work in a helping profession (mental health) and take a lot of stragglers under my wing. I think I am too caring and giving and need to set more boundaries to avoid these issues.

Your description is specific and thoughtful. What you wrote helped me articulate what I need to do. So, thank you.

I attracted the wrong type of people for me. Over time, I’ve been working on things and think I am becoming a better judge of who will be a good friend versus someone who can’t communicate or is used to stonewalling or ghosting people.

[Anonymous]

I quiet quit one friend who became very maga and overtly racist but I really stopped communicating when their views started being regurgitated by their young child to my young child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

It’s weird when leftists are so confident in doing this and yet a central criticism they have of “Christian Nationalists” is that they are closed to different perspectives and should be more tolerant of diversity of religion and try to find commonality among people who don’t share their faith. (I agree with all of that—btw—but do not find that those on the far left practice what they preach any longer)

It’s as though leftists have zero concept that your politics has become YOUR religion and you have labeled anyone who does not subscribe to it to be a sinner who is doomed to hell for not accepting your religion. And so therefor you cannot imagine associating with such people because obviously YOUR religion is superior and you are the correct thinkers on every issue and must only surround yourself with people who ascribe to these same beliefs so that they are reinforced and upheld. It is the intolerant arrogance that permeates your circle. And I get it. You feel morally entitled to this view.

But please explain to me again how this way of thinking is at all a liberal viewpoint? How are you more open and tolerant than those people you despise and insulate yourself from? How is that different from a Christian refusing to associate with a Muslim due to their different beliefs and values? Or a Muslim declining to associate with a Jew?

Politics as your religion is what this is. And redemption in your religion is conversion.

My tolerance of diversity doesn't extend to rapists, convicted felons, and fascists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

It’s weird when leftists are so confident in doing this and yet a central criticism they have of “Christian Nationalists” is that they are closed to different perspectives and should be more tolerant of diversity of religion and try to find commonality among people who don’t share their faith. (I agree with all of that—btw—but do not find that those on the far left practice what they preach any longer)

It’s as though leftists have zero concept that your politics has become YOUR religion and you have labeled anyone who does not subscribe to it to be a sinner who is doomed to hell for not accepting your religion. And so therefor you cannot imagine associating with such people because obviously YOUR religion is superior and you are the correct thinkers on every issue and must only surround yourself with people who ascribe to these same beliefs so that they are reinforced and upheld. It is the intolerant arrogance that permeates your circle. And I get it. You feel morally entitled to this view.

But please explain to me again how this way of thinking is at all a liberal viewpoint? How are you more open and tolerant than those people you despise and insulate yourself from? How is that different from a Christian refusing to associate with a Muslim due to their different beliefs and values? Or a Muslim declining to associate with a Jew?

Politics as your religion is what this is. And redemption in your religion is conversion.

My tolerance of diversity doesn't extend to rapists, convicted felons, and fascists.

^^^ or to people who support them.