Why have you cut off friends?

[Anonymous]

Cheating on spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. The friend doesn’t live locally so making plans is a lot harder. I also let her borrow money and she hasn’t paid me back.

Well you learned your lesson here. I don't think friends should lend each other money, for this reason. Based Cally to f a friend is so hard up for money they need help, you either give it to them with no expectation of repayment, or if you can't afford to do that, you help them another way. But lending friends money almost always leads to these issues. Same with family. You want a loan, go to a bank.

If you hadn't loaned her money, you wouldn't have to care at all about her money management. It shouldn't be your business.

Op here. It wasn’t a lot of money. There are so many things added together. She’s a mess and I can’t deal with it anymore.

You get to choose who you allow in your life, but you might want to look at your attitude here. People are messy. You are also a mess, in some way, or maybe in several. It's not friendly to try to "save" your friend only to bail later because you couldn't. That's a story about you, not your friend.

You sound a little nuts yourself. People change over the years. Op isn’t a therapist or Jesus. She can determine what she can handle. This person isn’t her child. She’s not obligated to hang around and put up with crap if she doesn’t want to.

You led with ableist accusations on an anon board, but on the off chance you're smarter than you seem: No, this person isn't OP's child, or their responsibility. And I already agreed with you that OP can choose who is/isn't allowed in their life. AND... OP is responsible for the judgmental BS they're laying on their friend instead of just saying "this doesn't work for me" and bailing. OP flouncing with a "she's a mess and I just can't deal" is a lot of drama over something OP could just quietly do. That's a story about OP.

Kinda like how you had to attack me personally instead of just making your point. That's a story about you so I don't expect you to be able to see this. But it's there.

It's okay to make decisions for yourself without having to vilify others. You just don't want to. Fine. Don't. Doesn't mean the other person is a problem.

The other person is a problem is they can’t be reliable. Sounds like you’re a flake and feel defensive.

Incorrect. I am chronically early. I'm also not OP or their friend, so the only point I have to make here is "your shit stinks, too. Be careful how you judge others" since some of y'all treat your "friends" as disposable and, well, good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have only ever cut off one friend and it was because she thought I had said something that was hurtful (and not something I would ever say). Instead of coming to me about it, she talked badly about me behind my back for six months until I got wind of how bad it had gotten and I confronted her about it. I decided that I didn't want to be friends with someone who (1) would think I would say something like that and (2) would handle a situation like she did. She was too much drama and I didn't want to be a part of it anymore.

I relate to this. Different situation and I didn't exactly cut off my friend (it was more drawn out), but I also had a situation where a friend had been talking about me behind my back but never discussed it with me directly. I just do not understand this. She discussed this thing in a gossipy way with other people but never once brought it up with me. I found myself feeling like our relationship was a lie. And then when I found out, I tried to discuss it with her directly and she was evasive and avoidant.

I think these are just immature behaviors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

bigoted reaction

DP, but nah. I'm trans. If you're openly supportive of someone with openly anti-trans policies, you're openly anti-me.

We can't be friends.

Sooo, you get to be bigoted but others can't?

Sounds about right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

This - different values. Whether it's voting for a rapist for president, or doing cocaine as a single mother (hell, even if she weren't a parent), or severely poor money management (six figures of cc debt but continuing to go to concerts, on trips, getting tattoos), etc. Just wildly different values.

I don't care if you love cats while I can't stand them and am a firm dog person, or you're vegetarian while I'm not, or one of us has kids while the other doesn't want any - those are all just different life choices.

^ the party of tolerance and inclusion, everyone

Why oh why won’t you tolerate my intolerance, amrite?

From the crew that calls Trump a rapist (no arrest or conviction) and his voters garbage and deplorable.

Haha, you lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

Likewise. She laughed at my face when I told her that I voted for Clinton. When I look back on our conversations I realize in retrospect that she is racist. For example, she said she would be upset if her son dated a black girl.
Covid was a good excuse to distance myself. Now I just send her a message on her birthday.

But, would you be mad if your son dated a Trump voter?

See how that works?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

bigoted reaction

DP, but nah. I'm trans. If you're openly supportive of someone with openly anti-trans policies, you're openly anti-me.

We can't be friends.

Sooo, you get to be bigoted but others can't?

Sounds about right.

Intolerance is a choice. I am anti-intolerant people. That's the line. If you're not trans, and see trans people as people, we're fine. If you're anti-trans in a way that attempts to deprive trans people of the rights and liberties you enjoy, I'm anti you.

If you're anti black, anti woman, ableist, etc. and vote accordingly, I'll also be anti you because those policies are intolerant of whole groups of people, and a choice. If you have personal opinions about people but allow them the same rights you enjoy, I may dislike you, but I'm not going to openly oppose you.

You're probably too stupid to understand the subtlety here, but it's very clear to anyone who isn't a bigoted idiot. Only a bigot would attempt the whole "you're intolerant, you're the bigot" argument. No. I'm anti-intolerance. You get to choose if you're intolerant or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

Likewise. She laughed at my face when I told her that I voted for Clinton. When I look back on our conversations I realize in retrospect that she is racist. For example, she said she would be upset if her son dated a black girl.
Covid was a good excuse to distance myself. Now I just send her a message on her birthday.

But, would you be mad if your son dated a Trump voter?

See how that works?

It doesn't. Black people are people. They weren't given a choice about their race, and they don't deserve to be discriminated against because of it. Black people deserve the same rights, freedoms, and access to life resources all people enjoy. Black people also have a diverse array of viewpoints, beliefs, etc. so simply being Black isn't enough to tell me anything about them beyond their race (because I'm not a bigoted fsckup like... some people).

A Trump voter chooses bigotry. Chooses violence. Chooses stupidity. So yes, regardless of configuration, I would be upset if my kid brought home a Trump voter because of the openly intolerant nonsense they vote for and support. I might entertain them, briefly, on the off chance that they might adapt and evolve once presented with better information. Unlikely, but people can and do change. But the moment they once again chose their idiocy? Out. And I wouldn't feel the least bit bad about it. They chose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

bigoted reaction

DP, but nah. I'm trans. If you're openly supportive of someone with openly anti-trans policies, you're openly anti-me.

We can't be friends.

Sooo, you get to be bigoted but others can't?

Sounds about right.

Intolerance is a choice. I am anti-intolerant people. That's the line. If you're not trans, and see trans people as people, we're fine. If you're anti-trans in a way that attempts to deprive trans people of the rights and liberties you enjoy, I'm anti you.

If you're anti black, anti woman, ableist, etc. and vote accordingly, I'll also be anti you because those policies are intolerant of whole groups of people, and a choice. If you have personal opinions about people but allow them the same rights you enjoy, I may dislike you, but I'm not going to openly oppose you.

You're probably too stupid to understand the subtlety here, but it's very clear to anyone who isn't a bigoted idiot. Only a bigot would attempt the whole "you're intolerant, you're the bigot" argument. No. I'm anti-intolerance. You get to choose if you're intolerant or not.

I mean, you just made my case. You are a bigot but you think you have privileges. Anyway, it's moot. Everyone thinks you're mental, except for the other freaks in your echo chamber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

This - different values. Whether it's voting for a rapist for president, or doing cocaine as a single mother (hell, even if she weren't a parent), or severely poor money management (six figures of cc debt but continuing to go to concerts, on trips, getting tattoos), etc. Just wildly different values.

I don't care if you love cats while I can't stand them and am a firm dog person, or you're vegetarian while I'm not, or one of us has kids while the other doesn't want any - those are all just different life choices.

^ the party of tolerance and inclusion, everyone

Why oh why won’t you tolerate my intolerance, amrite?

From the crew that calls Trump a rapist (no arrest or conviction) and his voters garbage and deplorable.

Haha, you lost.

Wow... "Based" bro! If "Haha, you lost." is your level of discourse... I can see why you voted for Trump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

This - different values. Whether it's voting for a rapist for president, or doing cocaine as a single mother (hell, even if she weren't a parent), or severely poor money management (six figures of cc debt but continuing to go to concerts, on trips, getting tattoos), etc. Just wildly different values.

I don't care if you love cats while I can't stand them and am a firm dog person, or you're vegetarian while I'm not, or one of us has kids while the other doesn't want any - those are all just different life choices.

^ the party of tolerance and inclusion, everyone

It is really okay to not tolerant or include someone who openly supports a rapist/felon as the leader of our country. Weird that you don't get that. But oh yes, you just voted for him because of the economy. We know.

[Anonymous]

Narcissistic behavior, increasingly making comments that seemed borderline insulting. My kids witnessed it and said “why do you put up with that?”
That was the final straw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

This - different values. Whether it's voting for a rapist for president, or doing cocaine as a single mother (hell, even if she weren't a parent), or severely poor money management (six figures of cc debt but continuing to go to concerts, on trips, getting tattoos), etc. Just wildly different values.

I don't care if you love cats while I can't stand them and am a firm dog person, or you're vegetarian while I'm not, or one of us has kids while the other doesn't want any - those are all just different life choices.

^ the party of tolerance and inclusion, everyone

Why oh why won’t you tolerate my intolerance, amrite?

From the crew that calls Trump a rapist (no arrest or conviction) and his voters garbage and deplorable.

Haha, you lost.

Wow... "Based" bro! If "Haha, you lost." is your level of discourse... I can see why you voted for Trump.

Still lost. Haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

bigoted reaction

DP, but nah. I'm trans. If you're openly supportive of someone with openly anti-trans policies, you're openly anti-me.

We can't be friends.

Sooo, you get to be bigoted but others can't?

Sounds about right.

Intolerance is a choice. I am anti-intolerant people. That's the line. If you're not trans, and see trans people as people, we're fine. If you're anti-trans in a way that attempts to deprive trans people of the rights and liberties you enjoy, I'm anti you.

If you're anti black, anti woman, ableist, etc. and vote accordingly, I'll also be anti you because those policies are intolerant of whole groups of people, and a choice. If you have personal opinions about people but allow them the same rights you enjoy, I may dislike you, but I'm not going to openly oppose you.

You're probably too stupid to understand the subtlety here, but it's very clear to anyone who isn't a bigoted idiot. Only a bigot would attempt the whole "you're intolerant, you're the bigot" argument. No. I'm anti-intolerance. You get to choose if you're intolerant or not.

Insanely hostile, and why I will DCUM is the only place I will reveal that I voted for Trump. I live in DC, i'm a non-white immigrant, I'm a lifelong Democrat, and this year, the vote for the greater good was Trump. Biden is evil and Kamala was an empty psy-op. Trump is insane and has some really terrible followers, but he also had a lot of Democrats on his side, and other good people. If you can't see that, you might be the small-minded one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

bigoted reaction

DP, but nah. I'm trans. If you're openly supportive of someone with openly anti-trans policies, you're openly anti-me.

We can't be friends.

Sooo, you get to be bigoted but others can't?

Sounds about right.

Intolerance is a choice. I am anti-intolerant people. That's the line. If you're not trans, and see trans people as people, we're fine. If you're anti-trans in a way that attempts to deprive trans people of the rights and liberties you enjoy, I'm anti you.

If you're anti black, anti woman, ableist, etc. and vote accordingly, I'll also be anti you because those policies are intolerant of whole groups of people, and a choice. If you have personal opinions about people but allow them the same rights you enjoy, I may dislike you, but I'm not going to openly oppose you.

You're probably too stupid to understand the subtlety here, but it's very clear to anyone who isn't a bigoted idiot. Only a bigot would attempt the whole "you're intolerant, you're the bigot" argument. No. I'm anti-intolerance. You get to choose if you're intolerant or not.

Insanely hostile, and why I will DCUM is the only place I will reveal that I voted for Trump. I live in DC, i'm a non-white immigrant, I'm a lifelong Democrat, and this year, the vote for the greater good was Trump. Biden is evil and Kamala was an empty psy-op. Trump is insane and has some really terrible followers, but he also had a lot of Democrats on his side, and other good people. If you can't see that, you might be the small-minded one.

It’s okay to say you like the rapist convicted felon president elect. No need to write essays.