Divorced family discrimination at college presentation

[Anonymous]

That's a shocking and provocative statement. The person in question should NOT have made it. it's not helpful. And as PP said, data and interpretation of data is not the same.

OP, I would complain to the admissions department.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone so quick to believe this really happened? I’m calling bs.

If John’s Hopkins was saying this, it would be all over DCUM and College Confidential.

Maybe. I’ve heard from really wacky things on college tours, especially at UVA.

And here we go, it always comes back to UVA for some of you people. Twisted.

Eh, my kid ran into some UVA students this past summer that were arguing that the USA was the bad party in WW2 and just trying to be colonizers when they joined, and Germany and Japan were meritorious. According to the girls they were taught this at UVA.

Sometimes UVA earns the ire.

If this happened, it was probably the girls studying the Axis propaganda materials and getting confused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the context?

This was a campus tour presentation and this was her observation on what matters among admitted families. According to her admitted students are more likely to come from intact homes.

Not test scores, nothing else apparently. Marital status...

Intact families directly correlate with higher test scores and more success in life.

You can't really say it this decade in the era of perpetual offense, but the most positive thing you can do for kids' development is raise them in an intact, 2 parent household with both their mom and their dad. This is a statistical truth.

Cool. Do you have a time machine?

[Anonymous]

It’s actually better to be divorced for FAFSA as it only takes one parent into account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the context?

This was a campus tour presentation and this was her observation on what matters among admitted families. According to her admitted students are more likely to come from intact homes.

Not test scores, nothing else apparently. Marital status...

Intact families directly correlate with higher test scores and more success in life.

You can't really say it this decade in the era of perpetual offense, but the most positive thing you can do for kids' development is raise them in an intact, 2 parent household with both their mom and their dad. This is a statistical truth.

It's important but it's far from the most important thing you can give your kids. Being married is simply associated with a lot of other factors.

Having stable, loving, involved parents, divorced or not, is far more important. Good community and connections. Strong friendships throughout adolescence. Stable income. Good ZIP Code. Good health.

And you know what, you can provide all of the above and have a less than perfect outcome, even disastrous and unexpected outcomes. There are plenty of examples of people NOT having a stable family life and turning out quite well, Obama or Kamala Harris for example (JD Vance for that matter).

It's foolish to think that just staying married is some kind of golden key, just like the opposite of it is not a curse. Can't believe some of you got this far in parenting and think this way.

+1. Actually all four presidential and VP candidates don't come from intact and stable two parent families.

And I think that most people will universally agree, that with the exception of Vance those candidates are not our best or brightest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s actually better to be divorced for FAFSA as it only takes one parent into account.

Hopkins requires CSS so there is no benefit, in fact a net negative because the CSS requires step parent info too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was absolutely floored yesterday to hear this not only said aloud by the person presenting but repeated. I thought it was a joke until she repeated it.

The words were - "I tell parents the one thing that will get their kid into college is staying married"

So all these colleges are woke about everything else but it's still cool to throw shade at family status?

What is false about the statement? There is plenty of evidence that children from intact families have, in the aggregate, more academic success.

Intact families are also happy enough to not want to divorce. There's no evidence that a family whose parents hate each other but are only staying together for the college outcomes has kids who do any better than a family who divorces and is able to co-parent respectfully and peacefully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's not discrimination. Discrimination would be stating that they will not admit your student if they do not come from an intact family.

The person who stated that is just stating that the data shows that students from intact families are more likely to have the stats that will get them admitted.

These are immutable traits. That is very different.

Marital status is also outside of the control of students

[Anonymous]

I think this is relevant:

https://ol.reddit.com/r/ApplyingToCollege/comments/1g30miy/lawsuit_accuses_40_top_colleges_of_inflating/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was absolutely floored yesterday to hear this not only said aloud by the person presenting but repeated. I thought it was a joke until she repeated it.

The words were - "I tell parents the one thing that will get their kid into college is staying married"

So all these colleges are woke about everything else but it's still cool to throw shade at family status?

What is false about the statement? There is plenty of evidence that children from intact families have, in the aggregate, more academic success.

There’s lots of other common sense facts that are supported by statistics that have been deemed UN-PC and offensive to say aloud…like how it’s easy to guarantee you’ll live above the poverty level if you do these three things—1) finish high school 2) get a job (any job) and 3) don’t have children before you get married.
So I agree with OP that it’s interesting that this one about divorce is totally permissible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was absolutely floored yesterday to hear this not only said aloud by the person presenting but repeated. I thought it was a joke until she repeated it.

The words were - "I tell parents the one thing that will get their kid into college is staying married"

So all these colleges are woke about everything else but it's still cool to throw shade at family status?

What is false about the statement? There is plenty of evidence that children from intact families have, in the aggregate, more academic success.

Intact families are also happy enough to not want to divorce. There's no evidence that a family whose parents hate each other but are only staying together for the college outcomes has kids who do any better than a family who divorces and is able to co-parent respectfully and peacefully.

Actually there is evidence that kids are still better off by every measurable metric even if the parents are unhappily together. There is no dive in these metrics for Unhappily vs happily married—-just matters that they are married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the context?

This was a campus tour presentation and this was her observation on what matters among admitted families. According to her admitted students are more likely to come from intact homes.

Not test scores, nothing else apparently. Marital status...

Intact families directly correlate with higher test scores and more success in life.

You can't really say it this decade in the era of perpetual offense, but the most positive thing you can do for kids' development is raise them in an intact, 2 parent household with both their mom and their dad. This is a statistical truth.

Cool. Do you have a time machine?

I mean no…….but it’s not like you didn’t already know this, right? Did you somehow reason that this was a GOOD thing for your kids to split their time between two households and have their mental, physical, and emotional energy and attention consumed by adult drama of divorce?
I know it must have been a tough decision for you and your spouse, but it would be hard to believe that you thought divorce would have no negative impact.

[Anonymous]

This remark would turn me off completely from the university, unless it was somewhere my kid was dying to go. Maybe I’d give them a chance by emailing Admissions and seeing if they apologized.

It’s probably a true statement but who cares. It is tone-deaf especially in light of the fact that the past can’t be changed. Extremely poor judgment.

Btw I am from intact parents, grandparents, great-grandparents and have a happy marriage myself (knock on wood).

[Anonymous]

I’m 99.9% sure this didn’t happen

On the slim chance it did, complain to admissions

The stats on intact families are pretty clear. No, it doesn’t doom your kids. Income is a big factor, as are many, many other things. And the above poster with the info about finishing hs and waiting to have kids until after marriage is also correct. SES, parents’ educational attainment, etc. - it all factors in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the context?

This was a campus tour presentation and this was her observation on what matters among admitted families. According to her admitted students are more likely to come from intact homes.

Not test scores, nothing else apparently. Marital status...

Intact families directly correlate with higher test scores and more success in life.

You can't really say it this decade in the era of perpetual offense, but the most positive thing you can do for kids' development is raise them in an intact, 2 parent household with both their mom and their dad. This is a statistical truth.

Cool. Do you have a time machine?

I mean no…….but it’s not like you didn’t already know this, right? Did you somehow reason that this was a GOOD thing for your kids to split their time between two households and have their mental, physical, and emotional energy and attention consumed by adult drama of divorce?
I know it must have been a tough decision for you and your spouse, but it would be hard to believe that you thought divorce would have no negative impact.

50/50 custody wasn’t a thing when I was growing up. I spent every other weekend with my dad I never felt like it wasn’t enough time. I lived in one house and spent 4-5 days a month at my dad’s. I feel for kids whose lives are upended and they never feel at home due to 50/50 custody.