Divorced family discrimination at college presentation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was absolutely floored yesterday to hear this not only said aloud by the person presenting but repeated. I thought it was a joke until she repeated it.

The words were - "I tell parents the one thing that will get their kid into college is staying married"

So all these colleges are woke about everything else but it's still cool to throw shade at family status?

If this is true that seems weird to say in a tour. Usually they train the tour guides so everyone can see themselves there.

I would be curious if from a financial aid perspective at both need blind and need aware schools how that plays out. I know years ago my friend’s dad had remarried and both he and the step mom had white collar jobs making good money while the mom had primary custody and didn’t make much. Had the college included dad, step mom, and mom’s salary no way would they have gotten enough aid to make it happen. It was need blind admissions so needing aid did not impact admissions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was absolutely floored yesterday to hear this not only said aloud by the person presenting but repeated. I thought it was a joke until she repeated it.

The words were - "I tell parents the one thing that will get their kid into college is staying married"

So all these colleges are woke about everything else but it's still cool to throw shade at family status?

Yes, the best thing for children is to grow up in a stable, loving two parent household. How is this new?

It’s not “new”—it just hurts OP’s feelings since she wasn’t able to provide that for whatever reason so she doesn’t think that the AO should be permitted to point out that statistically students other than her DC are advantaged by that.
We’ve sort of decided as a collective society that saying things that make people feel bad about their choices is rude, even if true. And yet the AO violated this social contract. So OP is venting and wondering why is it okay for this one subject but not for other subjects.

The world doesn't revolve around OP and other divorced parents. What if there were married parents attending the session who were contemplating getting divorced and this advice would factor in to staying together? Wouldn't they deserve to hear that tip? Why are OPs feelings more important?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would absolutely complain the admissions dept. It is an unnecessary, horrible thing to say.

Someone said on page 1, they wouldn't say being Black hurts your academic success and someone replied, you can't control that variable. KIDS CAN'T CONTROL if their parents are divorced FFS. And even if they could, that fact makes it okay to say something like this, to a room full of families?

It makes no damn sense. Would the person say "you have a much better chance of getting in if your parent is not incarcerated." What is the point of what was said? My spouse is an abusive nutjob but you know, I better stay with them so your admissions prospects are better. She's trying to keep people of near adults married? She's letting them know that a painful situation done with from the past is going to hurt their kid?

I am a single mom and my kids have done and will do great. They are so much better off, academically and otherwise, since their parents are divorced. That statistic make no sense, there are so many other factors and populations we are talking about here.

A hurtful statement about their family situation has no place at such a talk.[/quote

Divorce is not a protected class. Educate yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the context?

This was a campus tour presentation and this was her observation on what matters among admitted families. According to her admitted students are more likely to come from intact homes.

Not test scores, nothing else apparently. Marital status...

Makes sense. Kids from
broken homes don’t do as well as kids who are from intact homes. Trauma matters.

Sometimes the trauma happens within the intact family! I’m genuinely happy for you that you don’t know seem to know this, I just wish there were a way to temper your certainty with a bit more humility.

[Anonymous]

As a parent this is the biggest thing you can do. I mean you can’t take your kids tests or write their essays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone so quick to believe this really happened? I’m calling bs.

If John’s Hopkins was saying this, it would be all over DCUM and College Confidential.

Maybe. I’ve heard from really wacky things on college tours, especially at UVA.

And here we go, it always comes back to UVA for some of you people. Twisted.

Eh, my kid ran into some UVA students this past summer that were arguing that the USA was the bad party in WW2 and just trying to be colonizers when they joined, and Germany and Japan were meritorious. According to the girls they were taught this at UVA.

Sometimes UVA earns the ire.

Just because you type nonsense on an anonymous forum doesn't make it so. You post is complete codswallop.

Right, there aren’t any wacko history profs out there spouting crazy ideas.

[Anonymous]

I know things happen, but reproducing in a happy, healthy relationship (which for many is a marriage) is the best thing all around.

Look, I have a good friend who has two kids via sperm bank. She does well for herself. She never found a partner but wanted kids. Even she knows these stats and isn't offended by them.

Yes, there are toxic families even for those that are married. None of that is good.

But on the whole, raising children in a marriage is best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was absolutely floored yesterday to hear this not only said aloud by the person presenting but repeated. I thought it was a joke until she repeated it.

The words were - "I tell parents the one thing that will get their kid into college is staying married"

So all these colleges are woke about everything else but it's still cool to throw shade at family status?

If this is true that seems weird to say in a tour. Usually they train the tour guides so everyone can see themselves there.

I would be curious if from a financial aid perspective at both need blind and need aware schools how that plays out. I know years ago my friend’s dad had remarried and both he and the step mom had white collar jobs making good money while the mom had primary custody and didn’t make much. Had the college included dad, step mom, and mom’s salary no way would they have gotten enough aid to make it happen. It was need blind admissions so needing aid did not impact admissions.

Stepmom is not a parent and should not be responsible for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know things happen, but reproducing in a happy, healthy relationship (which for many is a marriage) is the best thing all around.

Look, I have a good friend who has two kids via sperm bank. She does well for herself. She never found a partner but wanted kids. Even she knows these stats and isn't offended by them.

Yes, there are toxic families even for those that are married. None of that is good.

But on the whole, raising children in a marriage is best.

That’s why screaming single parent is misleading as a single parent can have a higher income than a married couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is relevant:

https://ol.reddit.com/r/ApplyingToCollege/comments/1g30miy/lawsuit_accuses_40_top_colleges_of_inflating/

Yeah this is 100% an issue. We wouldn't qualify on our incomes alone, but one step parent that literally just married into the situation makes more than all of us but that's her money and in no way is she financially obligated to pay for our child's college except that the CSS makes it so.

Sounds like you do expect money from her.