Divorced family discrimination at college presentation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone so quick to believe this really happened? I’m calling bs.

If John’s Hopkins was saying this, it would be all over DCUM and College Confidential.

Maybe. I’ve heard from really wacky things on college tours, especially at UVA.

And here we go, it always comes back to UVA for some of you people. Twisted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorced parent here and there’s no denying it’s rough and that it can add another layer to an already daunting college admissions process. However people will always make tone-deaf comments both inside and outside a college admissions setting. It’s irritating, but best to put it aside, be constructive and do the best you can to steer the kids through this process.

People usually make tone deaf comments on the fly, without giving them a lot of thought. This woman gives this presentation for a living and has probably done it many times. She repeated the line during this one presentation. She said she always tells parents this.

I think it would be good for someone to point out that if parents are already divorced, that ship has sailed, and then ask what helpful advice she has for divorced parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Telling people on a college tour to “stay married” is pretty hilarious. I assume most of the kids on the tour were juniors or seniors accompanied by at least one parent. If the parents are already divorced, it’s a little late.

It is likely true that having married parents correlates to higher admissions rates, but it’s a fairly bizarre thing to point out as some kind of pro tip.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seem like a drama queen. Name the school. If they're willing to say it publicly then name it.

This.

ONE person at ONE school said something and we don’t know if OP’s recall is correct.

This was the university representative giving the presentation and gives this presentation to presumably hundreds if not thousands of families.

My kid attended a jhu admissions session and tour with her dad last week and nobody said such a thing. It was an insensitive thing to say, though, and if it bothers you this much I would tell them in the feedback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the context?

This was a campus tour presentation and this was her observation on what matters among admitted families. According to her admitted students are more likely to come from intact homes.

Not test scores, nothing else apparently. Marital status...

Intact families directly correlate with higher test scores and more success in life.

You can't really say it this decade in the era of perpetual offense, but the most positive thing you can do for kids' development is raise them in an intact, 2 parent household with both their mom and their dad. This is a statistical truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's not discrimination. Discrimination would be stating that they will not admit your student if they do not come from an intact family.

The person who stated that is just stating that the data shows that students from intact families are more likely to have the stats that will get them admitted.

So if she said that she noticed being white, black or Asian meant you got in, that would be cool?

The intact, 2 parent family boost to children crosses all racial demographics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone so quick to believe this really happened? I’m calling bs.

If John’s Hopkins was saying this, it would be all over DCUM and College Confidential.

Maybe. I’ve heard from really wacky things on college tours, especially at UVA.

And here we go, it always comes back to UVA for some of you people. Twisted.

Eh, my kid ran into some UVA students this past summer that were arguing that the USA was the bad party in WW2 and just trying to be colonizers when they joined, and Germany and Japan were meritorious. According to the girls they were taught this at UVA.

Sometimes UVA earns the ire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is stirring the pot. Ex must have the kids this weekend hit the sauce early this morning. Don't feed this nonsense people.

Yep this and she was at a religious college

No non religious school would say this shit

Hopkins isn't religious

[Anonymous]

I don’t believe that the words you quoted were what she actually said.

But in any case, I met my spouse at Johns Hopkins. We have stayed married despite each of us having some quite annoying habits, and long periods where we didn’t speak to each other, yet my kid was just rejected from JHU. So not necessarily worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone so quick to believe this really happened? I’m calling bs.

If John’s Hopkins was saying this, it would be all over DCUM and College Confidential.

Maybe. I’ve heard from really wacky things on college tours, especially at UVA.

And here we go, it always comes back to UVA for some of you people. Twisted.

Eh, my kid ran into some UVA students this past summer that were arguing that the USA was the bad party in WW2 and just trying to be colonizers when they joined, and Germany and Japan were meritorious. According to the girls they were taught this at UVA.

Sometimes UVA earns the ire.

Just because you type nonsense on an anonymous forum doesn't make it so. You post is complete codswallop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the context?

This was a campus tour presentation and this was her observation on what matters among admitted families. According to her admitted students are more likely to come from intact homes.

Not test scores, nothing else apparently. Marital status...

Intact families directly correlate with higher test scores and more success in life.

You can't really say it this decade in the era of perpetual offense, but the most positive thing you can do for kids' development is raise them in an intact, 2 parent household with both their mom and their dad. This is a statistical truth.

It might be statistically true, but it is not a universal truth. Everyone’s situation is different and that school representative was pretty ignorant. Not a good look for that school.

[Anonymous]

Divorced parent here. College admissions can be challenging regardless of family situation. I won’t argue with the statistics showing that kids from intact families do better. However, it’s a lot more complicated than that and very situation-dependent. AO could have conveyed her message better but her underlying message is coming from a good place- all kids benefit from family support, regardless of their family structure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the context?

This was a campus tour presentation and this was her observation on what matters among admitted families. According to her admitted students are more likely to come from intact homes.

Not test scores, nothing else apparently. Marital status...

Intact families directly correlate with higher test scores and more success in life.

You can't really say it this decade in the era of perpetual offense, but the most positive thing you can do for kids' development is raise them in an intact, 2 parent household with both their mom and their dad. This is a statistical truth.

It's important but it's far from the most important thing you can give your kids. Being married is simply associated with a lot of other factors.

Having stable, loving, involved parents, divorced or not, is far more important. Good community and connections. Strong friendships throughout adolescence. Stable income. Good ZIP Code. Good health.

And you know what, you can provide all of the above and have a less than perfect outcome, even disastrous and unexpected outcomes. There are plenty of examples of people NOT having a stable family life and turning out quite well, Obama or Kamala Harris for example (JD Vance for that matter).

It's foolish to think that just staying married is some kind of golden key, just like the opposite of it is not a curse. Can't believe some of you got this far in parenting and think this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the context?

This was a campus tour presentation and this was her observation on what matters among admitted families. According to her admitted students are more likely to come from intact homes.

Not test scores, nothing else apparently. Marital status...

Intact families directly correlate with higher test scores and more success in life.

You can't really say it this decade in the era of perpetual offense, but the most positive thing you can do for kids' development is raise them in an intact, 2 parent household with both their mom and their dad. This is a statistical truth.

It's important but it's far from the most important thing you can give your kids. Being married is simply associated with a lot of other factors.

Having stable, loving, involved parents, divorced or not, is far more important. Good community and connections. Strong friendships throughout adolescence. Stable income. Good ZIP Code. Good health.

And you know what, you can provide all of the above and have a less than perfect outcome, even disastrous and unexpected outcomes. There are plenty of examples of people NOT having a stable family life and turning out quite well, Obama or Kamala Harris for example (JD Vance for that matter).

It's foolish to think that just staying married is some kind of golden key, just like the opposite of it is not a curse. Can't believe some of you got this far in parenting and think this way.

+1. Actually all four presidential and VP candidates don't come from intact and stable two parent families.

[Anonymous]

People are way too gullible in this forum.