Goal as a parent for DC to never work non-prof jobs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Where are your kids learning those skills?

Exactly! It’s ok to not want them to wash dishes and other “crappy jobs” as you wrote, but where are they learning the skills instead??

If you are seriously asking a question, I will seriously answer:
they can learn work ethic by helping to build a house with Habitat for Humanity;
they can learn compassion by translating for migrants trying to enroll their own children into school;
they can learn people skills by working as a receptionist at my firm and offering coffee and an apology to clients who are pissed that they have to wait 90 seconds to meet me.
And guess what? In these environments, they won't be sexually harassed or be made to feel stupid because they have a low rank.

Receptionists, take a few minutes to gather your thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you ask a very good question. I wondered this, for myself, and for raising my kids. I thought it was strange that teens weren't working. I went to a W school, parents had lots of money and I seemed to be the only one who always had a summer job. I had to hustle for it. I didn't know what my friends/peers thought of it. They weren't doing it and I didn't know why.

For my own kids, I expected them to look for a summer job at 15, and certainly be successful securing a summer job at 16. They worked every summer. Nothing fancy.

For my husband his father prioritized a work ethic starting at age 14. He caddied at the country club his family belonged to. He was a lifeguard in summer camps at 16. He was also able to be on the club’s swim team and played on a jr golf team so that “too busy with sports” is for people who make excuses. In college he was waiting tables. His college was paid for but he earned his own spending money.

His father succeeded in instilling a strong work ethic in him that has served him well in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Where are your kids learning those skills?

Exactly! It’s ok to not want them to wash dishes and other “crappy jobs” as you wrote, but where are they learning the skills instead??

If you are seriously asking a question, I will seriously answer:
they can learn work ethic by helping to build a house with Habitat for Humanity;
they can learn compassion by translating for migrants trying to enroll their own children into school;
they can learn people skills by working as a receptionist at my firm and offering coffee and an apology to clients who are pissed that they have to wait 90 seconds to meet me.
And guess what? In these environments, they won't be sexually harassed or be made to feel stupid because they have a low rank.

Take a poll with college students on which job they would prefer for the summer, a cocktail waitress at a summer resort making $500 a night or sit at a desk all day greeting people for $20 an hour?

You are clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I'm surprised by the word choice of "menial job." That phrase being thrown around here and the comfort in using it, is a bit shocking to me. You are that confident in deciding? And you are confident that your viewed is shared?

I chose to ignore it because I think it has the potential to derail the thread

.

OP here. Thanks for the grace. I put it in quotes because I just couldn’t think of another way to say it, but definitely didn’t mean it to be construed as derogatory.

[Anonymous]

God forbid they have to experience some adversity in life.

[Anonymous]

I know young professionals who had parents like this and some parents who say that school is their kids "job". Those kids often had a tough transition into the working world.

We wanted to make sure DC understood what it's like to work hard jobs and not just study and then go into a professional job. Starting around 10, they mowed lawns, weeded, waited tables, walked dogs, fed pets while owners were away, baby sat, door dashed, camp counseled, and so on. I would have been fine with them doing things like construction, etc. but it is not as easy to get jobs like that around here. Even trying to be an EMT in DC requires a commitment that can't be met if you are planning to leave the area for college.

[Anonymous]

My mother made me be a lifeguard even though it was not super safe being a lone guard sometimes at a secluded pool and of course, I didn't wear sunscreen and now have skin cancer.

So, no- I don't want my kids to lifeguard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Where are your kids learning those skills?

Exactly! It’s ok to not want them to wash dishes and other “crappy jobs” as you wrote, but where are they learning the skills instead??

If you are seriously asking a question, I will seriously answer:
they can learn work ethic by helping to build a house with Habitat for Humanity;
they can learn compassion by translating for migrants trying to enroll their own children into school;
they can learn people skills by working as a receptionist at my firm and offering coffee and an apology to clients who are pissed that they have to wait 90 seconds to meet me.
And guess what? In these environments, they won't be sexually harassed or be made to feel stupid because they have a low rank.

Take a poll with college students on which job they would prefer for the summer, a cocktail waitress at a summer resort making $500 a night or sit at a desk all day greeting people for $20 an hour?

You are clueless.

Take a poll with recent college graduates on how many have actual professional jobs.

You are a clueless (in a way that can really damage a young person's prospects in life). But your point is well taken.

[Anonymous]

No job is beneath you.

My young adult son is twenty-six years old and has just finished his MBA at University of Chicago Booth school of business. From the age of thirteen until eighteen, he worked at a country club to clean up golf carts, golf clubs, pick up trash on tennis courts, etc... He also played jr. golf at that time. Working at a country club allowed him to practice at the driving range and improved his golf game. That opportunity only opens up connections later on. He went to a D3 school and played golf there. He received a job after college from one of the connections he made at the country club. When he applied for MBA school, one of the members of the club was a sustaining donnor to the University of Chicago, and he called the school on my son's behalf. He got a job offered by another member of the club upon receiving his MBA degree. It is not what you know but who you know (or who knows you).

[Anonymous]

We’re UMC. I was a hostess, waitress and bank teller when in HS and early college. I would very much like my kids to work a regular hourly pay job. The only time that seems likely to be possible at least for my oldest is the summer though. To date that has not worked out since she does swim and band which together dictate we vacation early in the summer. There is just not much time to work before band consumes all the time available in Aug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No job is beneath you.

My young adult son is twenty-six years old and has just finished his MBA at University of Chicago Booth school of business. From the age of thirteen until eighteen, he worked at a country club to clean up golf carts, golf clubs, pick up trash on tennis courts, etc... He also played jr. golf at that time. Working at a country club allowed him to practice at the driving range and improved his golf game. That opportunity only opens up connections later on. He went to a D3 school and played golf there. He received a job after college from one of the connections he made at the country club. When he applied for MBA school, one of the members of the club was a sustaining donnor to the University of Chicago, and he called the school on my son's behalf. He got a job offered by another member of the club upon receiving his MBA degree. It is not what you know but who you know (or who knows you).

Yes rich people helping other rich people out. That usually is the case

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Where are your kids learning those skills?

Exactly! It’s ok to not want them to wash dishes and other “crappy jobs” as you wrote, but where are they learning the skills instead??

If you are seriously asking a question, I will seriously answer:
they can learn work ethic by helping to build a house with Habitat for Humanity;
they can learn compassion by translating for migrants trying to enroll their own children into school;
they can learn people skills by working as a receptionist at my firm and offering coffee and an apology to clients who are pissed that they have to wait 90 seconds to meet me.
And guess what? In these environments, they won't be sexually harassed or be made to feel stupid because they have a low rank.

Take a poll with college students on which job they would prefer for the summer, a cocktail waitress at a summer resort making $500 a night or sit at a desk all day greeting people for $20 an hour?

You are clueless.

Take a poll with recent college graduates on how many have actual professional jobs.

You are a clueless (in a way that can really damage a young person's prospects in life). But your point is well taken.

What amazes me is how many parents here think their kids are going to slide right into some big money professional job at graduation.

The subject is summer jobs for high schoolers and college students. So this parent suggests a receptionist job to see how the underlings feel. That’s not the reason for summer jobs. And her college graduate will know what it feels to have a low level office job soon enough.

[Anonymous]

My DH's company won't hire interns who don't have previous work experience. He reviews the applications and said they toss aside the ones with "internships" in HS since they tend to be with daddy's golf buddies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is spending $50,000 per year per child by the time they are in 2nd grade (tuition, EC, enrichment activities).
Why on God's green earth would I have them wash dishes for a few thousand dollars per summer?
Crappy jobs are not the only place where they can learn work ethic, people skills, compassion, etc.

Where are your kids learning those skills?

Exactly! It’s ok to not want them to wash dishes and other “crappy jobs” as you wrote, but where are they learning the skills instead??

If you are seriously asking a question, I will seriously answer:
they can learn work ethic by helping to build a house with Habitat for Humanity;
they can learn compassion by translating for migrants trying to enroll their own children into school;
they can learn people skills by working as a receptionist at my firm and offering coffee and an apology to clients who are pissed that they have to wait 90 seconds to meet me.
And guess what? In these environments, they won't be sexually harassed or be made to feel stupid because they have a low rank.

Take a poll with college students on which job they would prefer for the summer, a cocktail waitress at a summer resort making $500 a night or sit at a desk all day greeting people for $20 an hour?

You are clueless.

Take a poll with recent college graduates on how many have actual professional jobs.

You are a clueless (in a way that can really damage a young person's prospects in life). But your point is well taken.

What amazes me is how many parents here think their kids are going to slide right into some big money professional job at graduation.

The subject is summer jobs for high schoolers and college students. So this parent suggests a receptionist job to see how the underlings feel. That’s not the reason for summer jobs. And her college graduate will know what it feels to have a low level office job soon enough.

Who do you suppose is more likely to "know what it feels to have a low level office job soon enough," the dude who worked washing dishes summers or the dude who "worked" at his father's law firm summers?

I suppose that all the data on passing down advantages is just made up, right?

[Anonymous]

I grew up working menial jobs and so did my DH. We don't want our kids to avoid them per se but I also question the value. I started working PT in HS and waitressed, worked at Costco, temped to pay for grad school.

It is good to understand hard work and low pay. But it's not the only good. All the donors to the nonprofit where I work have kids who spend their summer taking classes or studying overseas.

My college student applied for a bunch of internships and the only offer he got was canvassing. He's a big guy and I was not comfortable with him knocking on random strangers' doors. I told him I would give him spending money if he volunteered instead. We can afford that. He was such a great volunteer that they offered him a FT job! He's back at school and I'm glad he did some good in the world and hopefully gained a few skills and some perspective too.