Jiffy Lube didn't put oil in the car. DW blames me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has anxiety. Nothing can just be, they have to be able to assign blame to someone they personal connected to. That way they can harp on it or use it against you. That is their defensive mechanism. They are so afraid of messing something up that all of the mistakes are yours, that way nothing can ever be their fault or screw up.

Maybe read OP's update. The DW has cooled off and recognized she was pi$$ed at the situation and not at OP. They need to learn not to let this become a pattern, sure, but your knee-jerk, armchair diagnosis doesn't seem to be needed, doc.

Regardless of the wife’s later corrective statement the original reaction is indicative of high anxiety and I will stick by my armchair diagnosis. I can guarantee you in the moment and hours afterwards her mind was going a million miles hour working through every worst case scenario and what the negative impacts in the next two minutes and up to a year from now.

[Anonymous]

Op if it’s important that you’re correctly gendered then include that info in your original post. Omitting that detail and then scolding posters for not figuring that out is disingenuous.

It doesn’t change the overall advice, which is that either your wife’s reaction was overkill (if you were solving the problem), or reasonable (if you’re weren’t).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op if it’s important that you’re correctly gendered then include that info in your original post. Omitting that detail and then scolding posters for not figuring that out is disingenuous.

It doesn’t change the overall advice, which is that either your wife’s reaction was overkill (if you were solving the problem), or reasonable (if you’re weren’t).

Gotcha!! Ain’t I cute!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do y’all pay upwards of $40,000 for your cars and then cheap out by going to Jiffy Lube?

DP. Where do YOU go, then? The car dealership? Takes forever (and at the dealerships we've tried, I do mean forever, and they're not giving out loaner cars to oil change customers for the day). A local garage? OK that's great, but it's half a day if there's any other work being done in the garage that day. And the garages near us don't do oil changes on weekends at all. Using places like Jiffy Lube isn't about "cheaping out," it's about not having the time to use a garage and especially not a dealership. If you have an actually helpful alternative to the above--and "do it yourself" is not an alternative--please do give it. I get it, Jiffy Lubes can suck, so what do you recommend that isn't going to eat hours out of the day?

I go to the dealership. It takes an hour or two tops and they have WiFi so I can work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actual OP here -- Couple things.

1. I'm a woman. It's 2024.
2. The oil light never went on until the car died.
3. The disagreement over what to do next is about whether to let Jiffy Lube fix the car or take to another mechanic.
4. I am doing everything I can do right now, which is wait for Jiffy Lube to get the results of their oil test and tell me what they think is wrong with the car. I'm taking the car to another mechanic on Monday for a second opinion (they're closed on weekends).
5. DW has come around a bit since last night. She admits she reacted out of frustration because we can't do anything over the weekend and she feels powerless to fix the problem. She was "mad at the situation, not at me." Although it didn't feel that way.

Thanks to those who agreed DW's reaction was unfounded. To those of you who still think all wives have husbands and all men are emotionless babies: Wow.

I was going to ask you if you pee sitting down but this explains everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to figure out how you didn’t notice right away. Didn’t your car’s idiot lights come on? Didn’t it handle badly?

The oil light you see on your dash is oil pressure, not oil level. And the oil pressure sensor won't activate/work until the car has run for a bit since the pressure builds over time.

And handling? Please, engine oil has nothing to do with the suspension.

Go back to baking cookies like a good girl.

Tell me you know nothing about cars without telling me you know nothing about cars.

https://www.carparts.com/blog/what-does-the-oil-light-mean-and-can-i-drive-if-its-on/?srsltid=AfmBOorTe2OM6ssnO9sIMHAS7_hyqT5A9Ky0QdTKUbV-umfrqtQ2fy0K

Not sure what this link is supposed to prove. It even states that some oil lights are for low oil. Besides the PP said "idiot light." I'd take that to mean the "check engine light." That's going to be triggered by the oil level sensor.

Most cars have lights that show low oil pressure. That is what that little oil can light means. Low Oil pressure. Some Audis, Porsches, Land Rover/Range Rover. Mercedes have oil level sensors too. They are notoriously unreliable. Other lesser models, like Honda, Toyota and Ford have lights that say check oil level, but that is just an oil pressure sensor.

Why don't oil level sensors work well? Because the moment you turn on the car the volume of oil in the oil pan is constantly changing as the oil pump sends oil throughout the engine. You can measure pressure reliably at the output of the oil pump. Low oil pressure may mean low oil level, but there are numerous causes.

True. My car has no dipstick to check oil level, only a sensor…which, of course, could fail or be inaccurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do y’all pay upwards of $40,000 for your cars and then cheap out by going to Jiffy Lube?

DP. Where do YOU go, then? The car dealership? Takes forever (and at the dealerships we've tried, I do mean forever, and they're not giving out loaner cars to oil change customers for the day). A local garage? OK that's great, but it's half a day if there's any other work being done in the garage that day. And the garages near us don't do oil changes on weekends at all. Using places like Jiffy Lube isn't about "cheaping out," it's about not having the time to use a garage and especially not a dealership. If you have an actually helpful alternative to the above--and "do it yourself" is not an alternative--please do give it. I get it, Jiffy Lubes can suck, so what do you recommend that isn't going to eat hours out of the day?

Are you scheduling it in advance? If so, it shouldn’t take all day. I scheduled at an independent mechanic, and it was pretty quick. True that they basically have bank hours, though. If you schedule at end of day, they’ll get it done so they can close and go home.

[Anonymous]

I would not want to go back to the shop that made the mistake to correct the error. Once the trust is broken, it’s really hard to regain. If you can’t get an oil change right—how do you do more complicated things correctly? I would go somewhere else to assess the extent of the damage, and reevaluate.

When I am upset about something, my husband often thinks I’m mad at him, because he’s there when I’m mad. Not because I’m actually blaming him.

Once I did get upset with him for going to pep boys to have something done (they screwed up). But I had expressed an opinion to not go there. But even so, I was wrong, because if I want something done my way, I need to do it myself. It’s not fair to blame someone in hindsight.

[Anonymous]

Is Valvoline not to be trusted, either? This should probably be cross-posted in Cars & Transportation.

[Anonymous]

This is why we still need Click and Clack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is Valvoline not to be trusted, either? This should probably be cross-posted in Cars & Transportation.

That's what I would like to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do y’all pay upwards of $40,000 for your cars and then cheap out by going to Jiffy Lube?

DP. Where do YOU go, then? The car dealership? Takes forever (and at the dealerships we've tried, I do mean forever, and they're not giving out loaner cars to oil change customers for the day). A local garage? OK that's great, but it's half a day if there's any other work being done in the garage that day. And the garages near us don't do oil changes on weekends at all. Using places like Jiffy Lube isn't about "cheaping out," it's about not having the time to use a garage and especially not a dealership. If you have an actually helpful alternative to the above--and "do it yourself" is not an alternative--please do give it. I get it, Jiffy Lubes can suck, so what do you recommend that isn't going to eat hours out of the day?

Are you scheduling it in advance? If so, it shouldn’t take all day. I scheduled at an independent mechanic, and it was pretty quick. True that they basically have bank hours, though. If you schedule at end of day, they’ll get it done so they can close and go home.

Scheduled oil changes at the dealership were still taking a minimum of 90 minutes. Every time. Two hours, once when we were promised it would be under a hour. Again: Scheduled appointments. Dealerships do not give a flying f**k once they have your car in their clutches. At least, two different Honda dealerships around here don't. Local mechanics have been better but still no weekend hours at the ones near us.