What is overscheduled?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And I call BS to kids wanting to do activities all the time. Most people want to relax after working all day. Same goes for kids. After an entire day of following directions and listening to teachers etc they also want to relax and chill. Not go to more activities. Every. Single. Day. I have seen kids mine and others resist going to their sports practice , art classes, swim practice etc.

When I got pushback for an instrument, we gave it up. He had learned to play and read music, and for me, that was the goal and I didn’t need him to continue if he didn’t love it. But I’ve never gotten pushback for my son’s sport - he is obsessed. It’s a huge time commitment, but he is happy and frankly I enjoy the travel and tournaments too. For some kids, the schedule would be too much, but not for mine.

[Anonymous]

Meet me at the bar

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't seem like too much to me. Busy kids have less time for trouble! Signs of too much would be constant complaining, never has time to be bored and self entertain, not getting enough sleep, anxiety

I don't agree with the trouble premise. First of all, not all kids are going to do those things. And then, overscheduling may make it harder for them to get into trouble, but not impossible. It doesn't take away a kids desire or curiosity for troublesome behavior.

Look up how Iceland solved its teen drinking problem

I've read it. I still don't think kids should be overscheduled.

Ok, you are free to do what you want with your own kids! Enjoy.

The part that I don't get is, I understand that they may have less opportunity, but how are activities stopping them wanting to drink? That doesn't just magically go away

DP. Lots of teenagers drink because they're bored/looking for something to do. Extracurricular activity participation is generally connected to lower rates of substance use.

I just I guess think teens should be able to entertain themselves without getting into trouble. I think I'd be so mad at my kid if they did stupid stuff because they were "bored."

Teens have been doing stupid stuff because they were bored for all of time.

So you suggest raising kids who don’t know how to deal with boredom? The only solution to not getting into trouble is put them in organized activities, so that someone else will tell them what to do? What do they do when they grow up?

I’m saying that it’s a fool’s errand do expect to raise kids who don’t do stupid stuff. Teens can get into trouble whether they are in extracurriculars or not, and yes teens who do stupid stuff generally grow up to be perfectly well adjusted adults.

Alot of the keep them busy folks do think being busy and extracurriculars are some sort of magic bullet though. And I don't think it's unreasonable to think teens won't do stupid stuff. Not all teens party or experiment with drugs and alcohol. I never even smoked a cigarette.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't seem like too much to me. Busy kids have less time for trouble! Signs of too much would be constant complaining, never has time to be bored and self entertain, not getting enough sleep, anxiety

I don't agree with the trouble premise. First of all, not all kids are going to do those things. And then, overscheduling may make it harder for them to get into trouble, but not impossible. It doesn't take away a kids desire or curiosity for troublesome behavior.

Look up how Iceland solved its teen drinking problem

I've read it. I still don't think kids should be overscheduled.

Ok, you are free to do what you want with your own kids! Enjoy.

The part that I don't get is, I understand that they may have less opportunity, but how are activities stopping them wanting to drink? That doesn't just magically go away

DP. Lots of teenagers drink because they're bored/looking for something to do. Extracurricular activity participation is generally connected to lower rates of substance use.

I just I guess think teens should be able to entertain themselves without getting into trouble. I think I'd be so mad at my kid if they did stupid stuff because they were "bored."

Teens have been doing stupid stuff because they were bored for all of time.

So you suggest raising kids who don’t know how to deal with boredom? The only solution to not getting into trouble is put them in organized activities, so that someone else will tell them what to do? What do they do when they grow up?

Organized activities are one factor but obviously there are others.

Also as an adult you have alot more authority over your life than as a teenager. Also your brain is developed to understand consequences and think rationally. A lot of places like malls and movie theaters won't even let kids under 17 be there without an adult. When as an adult do you have time to be bored? With a job, kids, and a house I would love to be bored!

Kids, not fully developed brains, free time, no place to go can lead to bad decisions. Hence how organized activities can help. Jobs, chores, responsibilities can also help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't seem like too much to me. Busy kids have less time for trouble! Signs of too much would be constant complaining, never has time to be bored and self entertain, not getting enough sleep, anxiety

I don't agree with the trouble premise. First of all, not all kids are going to do those things. And then, overscheduling may make it harder for them to get into trouble, but not impossible. It doesn't take away a kids desire or curiosity for troublesome behavior.

Look up how Iceland solved its teen drinking problem

I've read it. I still don't think kids should be overscheduled.

Ok, you are free to do what you want with your own kids! Enjoy.

The part that I don't get is, I understand that they may have less opportunity, but how are activities stopping them wanting to drink? That doesn't just magically go away

DP. Lots of teenagers drink because they're bored/looking for something to do. Extracurricular activity participation is generally connected to lower rates of substance use.

I just I guess think teens should be able to entertain themselves without getting into trouble. I think I'd be so mad at my kid if they did stupid stuff because they were "bored."

Teens have been doing stupid stuff because they were bored for all of time.

So you suggest raising kids who don’t know how to deal with boredom? The only solution to not getting into trouble is put them in organized activities, so that someone else will tell them what to do? What do they do when they grow up?

Organized activities are one factor but obviously there are others.

Also as an adult you have alot more authority over your life than as a teenager. Also your brain is developed to understand consequences and think rationally. A lot of places like malls and movie theaters won't even let kids under 17 be there without an adult. When as an adult do you have time to be bored? With a job, kids, and a house I would love to be bored!

Kids, not fully developed brains, free time, no place to go can lead to bad decisions. Hence how organized activities can help. Jobs, chores, responsibilities can also help.

I can agree with some of this and extracurriculars and things aren't a bad thing, but it seems like many suggest no free time. Also, I think it's important to teach teens that they can have fun with no place to go. You don't always need to go out to have fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't seem like too much to me. Busy kids have less time for trouble! Signs of too much would be constant complaining, never has time to be bored and self entertain, not getting enough sleep, anxiety

I don't agree with the trouble premise. First of all, not all kids are going to do those things. And then, overscheduling may make it harder for them to get into trouble, but not impossible. It doesn't take away a kids desire or curiosity for troublesome behavior.

Look up how Iceland solved its teen drinking problem

I've read it. I still don't think kids should be overscheduled.

Ok, you are free to do what you want with your own kids! Enjoy.

The part that I don't get is, I understand that they may have less opportunity, but how are activities stopping them wanting to drink? That doesn't just magically go away

DP. Lots of teenagers drink because they're bored/looking for something to do. Extracurricular activity participation is generally connected to lower rates of substance use.

I just I guess think teens should be able to entertain themselves without getting into trouble. I think I'd be so mad at my kid if they did stupid stuff because they were "bored."

Teens have been doing stupid stuff because they were bored for all of time.

So you suggest raising kids who don’t know how to deal with boredom? The only solution to not getting into trouble is put them in organized activities, so that someone else will tell them what to do? What do they do when they grow up?

I’m saying that it’s a fool’s errand do expect to raise kids who don’t do stupid stuff. Teens can get into trouble whether they are in extracurriculars or not, and yes teens who do stupid stuff generally grow up to be perfectly well adjusted adults.

Alot of the keep them busy folks do think being busy and extracurriculars are some sort of magic bullet though. And I don't think it's unreasonable to think teens won't do stupid stuff. Not all teens party or experiment with drugs and alcohol. I never even smoked a cigarette.

I thought you were talking about dumb stuff like toilet papering a lawn or ding dong ditching, but I agree that neither keeping busy or not doing extracurriculars is going to stop teens from being, well, idiots sometimes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meet me at the bar

?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't seem like too much to me. Busy kids have less time for trouble! Signs of too much would be constant complaining, never has time to be bored and self entertain, not getting enough sleep, anxiety

I don't agree with the trouble premise. First of all, not all kids are going to do those things. And then, overscheduling may make it harder for them to get into trouble, but not impossible. It doesn't take away a kids desire or curiosity for troublesome behavior.

Look up how Iceland solved its teen drinking problem

I've read it. I still don't think kids should be overscheduled.

Ok, you are free to do what you want with your own kids! Enjoy.

The part that I don't get is, I understand that they may have less opportunity, but how are activities stopping them wanting to drink? That doesn't just magically go away

DP. Lots of teenagers drink because they're bored/looking for something to do. Extracurricular activity participation is generally connected to lower rates of substance use.

I just I guess think teens should be able to entertain themselves without getting into trouble. I think I'd be so mad at my kid if they did stupid stuff because they were "bored."

Teens have been doing stupid stuff because they were bored for all of time.

So you suggest raising kids who don’t know how to deal with boredom? The only solution to not getting into trouble is put them in organized activities, so that someone else will tell them what to do? What do they do when they grow up?

I’m saying that it’s a fool’s errand do expect to raise kids who don’t do stupid stuff. Teens can get into trouble whether they are in extracurriculars or not, and yes teens who do stupid stuff generally grow up to be perfectly well adjusted adults.

Alot of the keep them busy folks do think being busy and extracurriculars are some sort of magic bullet though. And I don't think it's unreasonable to think teens won't do stupid stuff. Not all teens party or experiment with drugs and alcohol. I never even smoked a cigarette.

I thought you were talking about dumb stuff like toilet papering a lawn or ding dong ditching, but I agree that neither keeping busy or not doing extracurriculars is going to stop teens from being, well, idiots sometimes!

Oh no, not that I'd necessarily would want my kid to do those things. I was referring to partying, experimenting with drugs and alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Do any of you even have tweens or teens? When they have free time at home they are texting in group chats. Not a big deal, but hardly some lesson in "being bored" or "entertaining themselves".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do any of you even have tweens or teens? When they have free time at home they are texting in group chats. Not a big deal, but hardly some lesson in "being bored" or "entertaining themselves".

And this isn't good, especially in tweens, who literally are still kids. Technology/screens aren't the devil, but they need to be outside socializing in person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do any of you even have tweens or teens? When they have free time at home they are texting in group chats. Not a big deal, but hardly some lesson in "being bored" or "entertaining themselves".

And this isn't good, especially in tweens, who literally are still kids. Technology/screens aren't the devil, but they need to be outside socializing in person.

Where are they going to do this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do any of you even have tweens or teens? When they have free time at home they are texting in group chats. Not a big deal, but hardly some lesson in "being bored" or "entertaining themselves".

And this isn't good, especially in tweens, who literally are still kids. Technology/screens aren't the devil, but they need to be outside socializing in person.

Where are they going to do this?

Neighborhood? Do they constantly need to go somewhere?

[Anonymous]

It's important for tweens and teens to socialize (in person) with friends. If your tween/teen has so many structured activities that they don't have time to hang out and socialize with friends, then, yeah, they are probably overscheduled.

But folks seems to be suggesting that teens/tweens should also have swaths of time where they are alone with nowhere to go and have to come up with things to do. And, I'm telling you, what tweens/teens do in that scenario -- if given the choice -- is text on group chats. Vapid, ridiculous, eye-roll-level drama filled group chats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's important for tweens and teens to socialize (in person) with friends. If your tween/teen has so many structured activities that they don't have time to hang out and socialize with friends, then, yeah, they are probably overscheduled.

But folks seems to be suggesting that teens/tweens should also have swaths of time where they are alone with nowhere to go and have to come up with things to do. And, I'm telling you, what tweens/teens do in that scenario -- if given the choice -- is text on group chats. Vapid, ridiculous, eye-roll-level drama filled group chats.

And this would be solved if parents didn't give into the screens/social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's important for tweens and teens to socialize (in person) with friends. If your tween/teen has so many structured activities that they don't have time to hang out and socialize with friends, then, yeah, they are probably overscheduled.

But folks seems to be suggesting that teens/tweens should also have swaths of time where they are alone with nowhere to go and have to come up with things to do. And, I'm telling you, what tweens/teens do in that scenario -- if given the choice -- is text on group chats. Vapid, ridiculous, eye-roll-level drama filled group chats.

If these are "tweens", I hate that term BTW, thats so sad.