What is overscheduled?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my kid gets their athletic scholarship to Stanford they’ll thank me later

What sport?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s weird to me that people are assuming so many parents sign their kids up for activities because they want them to stay out of trouble or that they are forcing their kids to do activities.

Mine loves activities and has stuck with the ones that he loved. I sign him up because he has at least two genuine passions and why shouldn’t he pursue them now? I also have him in a cultural activity that is important to me and he is also on board with it (I’m sure closer to middle school he will push back on this one). Activities are also a social outlet for him since he’s an only. But this means he is busy every day practicing his music at home and busy every weekend with the cultural activity and, during the season, a sports game and practice. He has an activity almost every day.

I’m sure many would think he is overscheduled or I am pushing him, but he is really the one driving this. He has a family party to go to this weekend and he came home from school reminding me of that, and talking about how he needs to do instrument practice and shoot some goals and also be ready for the party. He is learning to manage his own schedule.

If I bought a video game console or gave him an iPad, I’m sure he’d want to sometimes do games rather than practice his sport or instrument, but luckily he doesn’t have that option right now. I often watch tv or read about true crime for a couple hours at night after he goes to bed because it’s easy and addictive. I should be reading or doing something enriching more than I do, but alas. So I’m holding out as long as I can reasonably do so with him.

People literally say these are the reasons though. No parent will ever admit it they were forcing it though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s weird to me that people are assuming so many parents sign their kids up for activities because they want them to stay out of trouble or that they are forcing their kids to do activities.

Mine loves activities and has stuck with the ones that he loved. I sign him up because he has at least two genuine passions and why shouldn’t he pursue them now? I also have him in a cultural activity that is important to me and he is also on board with it (I’m sure closer to middle school he will push back on this one). Activities are also a social outlet for him since he’s an only. But this means he is busy every day practicing his music at home and busy every weekend with the cultural activity and, during the season, a sports game and practice. He has an activity almost every day.

I’m sure many would think he is overscheduled or I am pushing him, but he is really the one driving this. He has a family party to go to this weekend and he came home from school reminding me of that, and talking about how he needs to do instrument practice and shoot some goals and also be ready for the party. He is learning to manage his own schedule.

If I bought a video game console or gave him an iPad, I’m sure he’d want to sometimes do games rather than practice his sport or instrument, but luckily he doesn’t have that option right now. I often watch tv or read about true crime for a couple hours at night after he goes to bed because it’s easy and addictive. I should be reading or doing something enriching more than I do, but alas. So I’m holding out as long as I can reasonably do so with him.

Good for you and your kid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think by overscheduling kids lose out on more than they gain

I don’t. Because most kids entertain themselves with screens when they aren’t occupied with something else

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think by overscheduling kids lose out on more than they gain

I don’t. Because most kids entertain themselves with screens when they aren’t occupied with something else

It’s such a struggle!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Overscheduling threads are wild. I'm participating in one on the sports forum. Alot of ppl don't acknowledge it as a real thing

I think almost everyone agrees that overscheduling is by definition bad. However, the threshold for overscheduling is highly subjective. The folks on the sports board trying to impose their definition of overscheduling on every family are quite comical.

I’d like to know where people draw the line. An activity per week day? Never having two activities on one day? Certain number of hours per week?

Two activities at a time max. Kids, imo don't have enough free time. For me personally, no travel anything.

That would never work for our family. We have sports, music, Sunday school or youth group, for each of three kids.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Doesn't seem like too much to me. Busy kids have less time for trouble! Signs of too much would be constant complaining, never has time to be bored and self entertain, not getting enough sleep, anxiety

I don't agree with the trouble premise. First of all, not all kids are going to do those things. And then, overscheduling may make it harder for them to get into trouble, but not impossible. It doesn't take away a kids desire or curiosity for troublesome behavior.

Look up how Iceland solved its teen drinking problem

I've read it. I still don't think kids should be overscheduled.

Ok, you are free to do what you want with your own kids! Enjoy.

The part that I don't get is, I understand that they may have less opportunity, but how are activities stopping them wanting to drink? That doesn't just magically go away

DP. Lots of teenagers drink because they're bored/looking for something to do. Extracurricular activity participation is generally connected to lower rates of substance use.

I just I guess think teens should be able to entertain themselves without getting into trouble. I think I'd be so mad at my kid if they did stupid stuff because they were "bored."

Teens have been doing stupid stuff because they were bored for all of time.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Doesn't seem like too much to me. Busy kids have less time for trouble! Signs of too much would be constant complaining, never has time to be bored and self entertain, not getting enough sleep, anxiety

I don't agree with the trouble premise. First of all, not all kids are going to do those things. And then, overscheduling may make it harder for them to get into trouble, but not impossible. It doesn't take away a kids desire or curiosity for troublesome behavior.

Look up how Iceland solved its teen drinking problem

I've read it. I still don't think kids should be overscheduled.

Ok, you are free to do what you want with your own kids! Enjoy.

The part that I don't get is, I understand that they may have less opportunity, but how are activities stopping them wanting to drink? That doesn't just magically go away

DP. Lots of teenagers drink because they're bored/looking for something to do. Extracurricular activity participation is generally connected to lower rates of substance use.

I just I guess think teens should be able to entertain themselves without getting into trouble. I think I'd be so mad at my kid if they did stupid stuff because they were "bored."

Teens have been doing stupid stuff because they were bored for all of time.

So you suggest raising kids who don’t know how to deal with boredom? The only solution to not getting into trouble is put them in organized activities, so that someone else will tell them what to do? What do they do when they grow up?

[Anonymous]

And I call BS to kids wanting to do activities all the time. Most people want to relax after working all day. Same goes for kids. After an entire day of following directions and listening to teachers etc they also want to relax and chill. Not go to more activities. Every. Single. Day. I have seen kids mine and others resist going to their sports practice , art classes, swim practice etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And I call BS to kids wanting to do activities all the time. Most people want to relax after working all day. Same goes for kids. After an entire day of following directions and listening to teachers etc they also want to relax and chill. Not go to more activities. Every. Single. Day. I have seen kids mine and others resist going to their sports practice , art classes, swim practice etc.

Okay. That's some kids. Mine has never expressed any resistance to going to an activity. Some people want to get off work and relax, and some don't. Kids are the same way.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think by overscheduling kids lose out on more than they gain

I don’t. Because most kids entertain themselves with screens when they aren’t occupied with something else

Isn't that something parents can try to limit.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Doesn't seem like too much to me. Busy kids have less time for trouble! Signs of too much would be constant complaining, never has time to be bored and self entertain, not getting enough sleep, anxiety

I don't agree with the trouble premise. First of all, not all kids are going to do those things. And then, overscheduling may make it harder for them to get into trouble, but not impossible. It doesn't take away a kids desire or curiosity for troublesome behavior.

Look up how Iceland solved its teen drinking problem

I've read it. I still don't think kids should be overscheduled.

Ok, you are free to do what you want with your own kids! Enjoy.

The part that I don't get is, I understand that they may have less opportunity, but how are activities stopping them wanting to drink? That doesn't just magically go away

DP. Lots of teenagers drink because they're bored/looking for something to do. Extracurricular activity participation is generally connected to lower rates of substance use.

I just I guess think teens should be able to entertain themselves without getting into trouble. I think I'd be so mad at my kid if they did stupid stuff because they were "bored."

Teens have been doing stupid stuff because they were bored for all of time.

So you suggest raising kids who don’t know how to deal with boredom? The only solution to not getting into trouble is put them in organized activities, so that someone else will tell them what to do? What do they do when they grow up?

+1 maybe you'll stop teens from doing these things, but I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Doesn't seem like too much to me. Busy kids have less time for trouble! Signs of too much would be constant complaining, never has time to be bored and self entertain, not getting enough sleep, anxiety

I don't agree with the trouble premise. First of all, not all kids are going to do those things. And then, overscheduling may make it harder for them to get into trouble, but not impossible. It doesn't take away a kids desire or curiosity for troublesome behavior.

Look up how Iceland solved its teen drinking problem

I've read it. I still don't think kids should be overscheduled.

Ok, you are free to do what you want with your own kids! Enjoy.

The part that I don't get is, I understand that they may have less opportunity, but how are activities stopping them wanting to drink? That doesn't just magically go away

DP. Lots of teenagers drink because they're bored/looking for something to do. Extracurricular activity participation is generally connected to lower rates of substance use.

I just I guess think teens should be able to entertain themselves without getting into trouble. I think I'd be so mad at my kid if they did stupid stuff because they were "bored."

Teens have been doing stupid stuff because they were bored for all of time.

So you suggest raising kids who don’t know how to deal with boredom? The only solution to not getting into trouble is put them in organized activities, so that someone else will tell them what to do? What do they do when they grow up?

I’m saying that it’s a fool’s errand do expect to raise kids who don’t do stupid stuff. Teens can get into trouble whether they are in extracurriculars or not, and yes teens who do stupid stuff generally grow up to be perfectly well adjusted adults.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think by overscheduling kids lose out on more than they gain

I don’t. Because most kids entertain themselves with screens when they aren’t occupied with something else

Isn't that something parents can try to limit.

Well of course, I think we all try to wage that battle. Extracurriculars make it a lot easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people assume that activities cut into free time or 'better use of time's way more than they actually do. Both my kids do travel sports plus an instrument. They still have TONS of time to sit around and do whatever. And my DH and I have plenty of time for our interests.

We travel to tournaments, and they are so fun. They have games of course, but also parents hang out, kids 'free play' with each other, we check out local culture and restaurants, etc. And tournaments aren't most weekends and aren't all year. I'm happy they get a lot of vigorous exercise too.

I'm not sure what they'd be doing that is so much better if we gave up the activities.

Same for us, and agree.