Teens bedroom is a health hazard but teen won't clean it. CPS breathing down my neck. Wtd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't know that, PP. A poster who was a state's attorney posted she has been involved in such cases. CPS has a lot of variability across jurisdictions and workers. Which, if OP is real, is why she should seek legal advice before re-homing DD into ex's hoarder home.

THIS IS FAKE.

[Anonymous]

OP, what was the substance of the "other reports" you mentioned?

Who recommended weekend boot camps? Can you give an example? I thought those tended to be residential programs?

Has DD seen a psychiatrist? What diagnoses does she have? What meds have you tried?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't know that, PP. A poster who was a state's attorney posted she has been involved in such cases. CPS has a lot of variability across jurisdictions and workers. Which, if OP is real, is why she should seek legal advice before re-homing DD into ex's hoarder home.

It’s fake. You can believe it’s not but it’s fake. Someone who worked with cold told you it was fake and a lawyer who has cases like this told you it was fake. Of course, you’re free to continue posting advice and concern as you deem appropriate.

[Anonymous]

I get it’s annoying and shouldn’t be necessary and you have a lot on your plate already, OP, but what is preventing you from just doing a daily clean? Just like we do for littler kids that can’t really take care of themselves? Is it because your child won’t let you in the room or freaks out if you go in there?

It seems like the easiest short term solution and if you do it every day it won’t be able to deteriorate. The bug thing in particular would worry me since there’s no way to keep that confined to just the one bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't know that, PP. A poster who was a state's attorney posted she has been involved in such cases. CPS has a lot of variability across jurisdictions and workers. Which, if OP is real, is why she should seek legal advice before re-homing DD into ex's hoarder home.

It’s fake. You can believe it’s not but it’s fake. Someone who worked with cold told you it was fake and a lawyer who has cases like this told you it was fake. Of course, you’re free to continue posting advice and concern as you deem appropriate.

Other reports were mentioned. So, you can't know. We will see if OP comes back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it’s annoying and shouldn’t be necessary and you have a lot on your plate already, OP, but what is preventing you from just doing a daily clean? Just like we do for littler kids that can’t really take care of themselves? Is it because your child won’t let you in the room or freaks out if you go in there?

It seems like the easiest short term solution and if you do it every day it won’t be able to deteriorate. The bug thing in particular would worry me since there’s no way to keep that confined to just the one bedroom.

All this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't know that, PP. A poster who was a state's attorney posted she has been involved in such cases. CPS has a lot of variability across jurisdictions and workers. Which, if OP is real, is why she should seek legal advice before re-homing DD into ex's hoarder home.

It’s fake. You can believe it’s not but it’s fake. Someone who worked with cold told you it was fake and a lawyer who has cases like this told you it was fake. Of course, you’re free to continue posting advice and concern as you deem appropriate.

How many times are you going to post this?

Another lawyer said they had had cases like this. It's upthread.

Might want to proofread before hitting "submit."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What? Her friend’s parents called CPS for a dirty room?

It’s a hoarders room. You have to start by removing almost everything from her room when she’s not home. She should only have a bed, a bureau with a week’s worth of clothes and that’s it. Don’t buy any food that she would want to bring into her room. No snack food. Every night you would need to look around the room. It would be easy without junk in there. This type of hoarding can be a type of mental illness which is hard to stop.

The bolded. I don't know if your daughter is a hoarder or not, OP, but the answer here is for you to get very strict. She is not allowed to have food in her room, period. Make that the house rule. And yes, pick a time every day to go in with her and clean up. Literally stand in there and tell her what she has to do and stand in there until she does it. Don't argue or plead. Simply tell her that her behavior is putting the health and well-being of the entire family at risk and that you won't allow it.

Ideally, her father will get on board with you forcing the issue instead of letting her cop out and go to his house (where she will likely do the same thing).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't know that, PP. A poster who was a state's attorney posted she has been involved in such cases. CPS has a lot of variability across jurisdictions and workers. Which, if OP is real, is why she should seek legal advice before re-homing DD into ex's hoarder home.

It’s fake. You can believe it’s not but it’s fake. Someone who worked with cold told you it was fake and a lawyer who has cases like this told you it was fake. Of course, you’re free to continue posting advice and concern as you deem appropriate.

How many times are you going to post this?

Another lawyer said they had had cases like this. It's upthread.

Might want to proofread before hitting "submit."

I posted it 1x

[Anonymous]

Unpopular advice: just clean her room like you clean other areas of your home. She’ll get used to livingin a clear environment and will very gradually learn to maintain it, and then clean it herself.

[Anonymous]

Divorces have consequences, you sound overwhelmed

[Anonymous]

PP who had a similar situation with a child from the foster system, could you please add some detail re: what you did over time to change things? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorces have consequences, you sound overwhelmed

Being married to a mentally ill hoarder would help with a mentally ill hoarding teen how? Instead of one room it would be the whole house.

OP may never come back and may not be real but the issue of hoarding is very difficult regardless of age.

If you are real, OP, hope the investigation has been closed. Still curious what those "other" reports were about, if real, DC may need help with far more than the vermin and bug infested room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single mom to four. My three other kids are perfectly healthy and no concern. My teen however has a lot of issues.

She will not keep her room clean ever. Under any circumstances. There is rotting food, bugs, clothes everywhere. Her room makes me feel physically ill to walk into.

She herself is very clean so I don't really understand it.

I go in monthly and scrub it down. I struggle to do it more than that.

Unfortunately she also isn't embarrassed and invited a friend over who in turn told her parents who then reported it to CPS. I'm assuming there may have been other reports.

Last week I had a social worker ask to look around. She saw my daughters room and told me it was a hazard to her health and it needs to be cleaned. Basically they'll continue checking in to make sure it's suitable. I tried explaining my daughters behaviour but all she said was it is my "duty of care".

I cleaned it immediately after. Within a week it was full of shit again. I had to call in sick at work to clean it again.

Her room is awful again and I got a call saying they're stopping by on Monday. I plan on cleaning it again on Sunday.

I don't know what to say to them to make them understand that I'm trying but I just can't get to her. She is in therapy (where she just sits in silence), I've sent her to weekend boot camps, I've offered to do it with her, I've taken things away - she tells me she hates me but thats it.

My youngest is sobbing every night because she thinks CPS is going to take her away. She's back in my bed because she won't sleep elsewhere.

What can I say or do here? My oldest keeps telling me to send her to their dads (he is the same with mess, hence me leaving him) but I feel like that's condoning her.

Is this another long wordy silly Troll post?

Ain’t no single mothers of four in DCUM wasting time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't know that, PP. A poster who was a state's attorney posted she has been involved in such cases. CPS has a lot of variability across jurisdictions and workers. Which, if OP is real, is why she should seek legal advice before re-homing DD into ex's hoarder home.

It’s fake. You can believe it’s not but it’s fake. Someone who worked with cold told you it was fake and a lawyer who has cases like this told you it was fake. Of course, you’re free to continue posting advice and concern as you deem appropriate.

Other reports were mentioned. So, you can't know. We will see if OP comes back.

We did see- and she didn’t return. She may now that she’s called out on it - but hopefully people won’t fall for time wasting stupid fake posts.