Teens bedroom is a health hazard but teen won't clean it. CPS breathing down my neck. Wtd?
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Anonymous
The schools/wilderness type camps for troubled youths have temporary guardianship of the kids. Yes, kids can run away but if/when they are caught, they are returned to their guardian. Unless the parents want to remove the kids from the program. |
Anonymous
Not asking for "legal advice" but PP former state's attorney do you have a sense of how it might be viewed for OP to potentially send the child to live with a known hoarder? I'm a lawyer but do not practice in relevant area, but worry that could be seen negatively re: OP's duty of care to the child. I think OP needs legal advice and a psychiatrist for the child. Has she been evaluated for PDA autism? Anxiety? ODD? Trauma? She may need meds. Therapy that she does not engage in and weekend "boot camps" are not working. OP, you should be evaluated too - depression, ADD, something is amiss given how far you let this go before taking control of the room yourself. Also that you married a man who is a mentally ill hoarder. Getting a comprehensive treatment plan in place for both of you could make life much easier. |
Anonymous
Anonymous
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OP, do the kids see their father regularly? Where do those visits happen? Is he able to hold a job consistently?
Are there any ways or times that you are able to connect with DD? I'd suggest taking her out for lunch or a mani or coffee but not sure you are able to do that with the other 3 kids. I have a very oppositional teen and trying to do that did help a bit with the conflict level. It's like putting positive deposits in the bank of your relationship. How is her behavior at school and with other authority figures? Who suggested the weekend boot camps? What were the goals? |
Anonymous
| It’s your house, your daughter so it’s your responsibility to clean that room. Daily if you have to . |
Anonymous
As someone who has worked in CPS, this is 100% fake. CPS is not going to care about this. |
Anonymous
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Others who worked in the system have said otherwise in this thread.
No way to really know. |
Anonymous
Yes, they can and do. There is a documentary about it on Netflix or Amazon, I can't remember which. Can't believe you haven't see it, it was the most popular thing for like a month. |
Anonymous
Oh, and it works out GREAT. The kids are grateful eventually. /s |
Anonymous
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Have teen work with you pomodoro method style (set timer for 45 minutes of work, then 15 minutes of break, and repeat at least three times through out the day.
1) collect all the dirty dishes and food, put them in the dishwasher and run it. 2) take a trash bag and collect all the trash you can see 3) collect all the dirty clothes, put them in the laundry and start the wash. 4) remove everything from the bed and put all dirty sheets and bedding in the laundry and make the bed. 5) starting at the door pick up and clear the items on the floor. 6) sweep or vacuum the floor 7) start at the one side of the room clean/organize the flat surfaces of the dresser and desk and bookshelf 8) clean/organize the closet. 9) clean/organize dresser drawers. Each time you start a new hour of work, start at the beginning of the list. You’ll be able to see that the first hour you only got through for example step 3, but the second hour you were on step 4, and the next day on step 5. By starting at the beginning every time you keep trash from collecting while the dressers are being organized. By limiting it to 45 minutes at a time you give yourself and your teen a stopping point so you don’t burn out. There is no room so bad that two people doing this list three times a day it won’t get clean very quickly. |
Anonymous
This. I knew it was a troll but everyone jumped on in. This is nbd- esp since she cleaned it sometimes. Meaning- if it had crap laying in it, invested with maggots and flies, a deceased animal or rats scurrying about - AND it was the mom’s issue, yeah, maybe. A client’s former spouse had dog crap all over the house bc she never let the puppy out. This includes on the couches. She suspects a family member reported it and sent in photos of the kids sitting on the couch with poop mountains all around them. Cps knocked, looked, and asked her why this was like that and the former wife said it’s hard to take the puppy out all the time. They left and the report said the allegation of neglect was unfounded. Messy rooms aren’t neglectful - even gross ones. This was stupid. What a waste of time. - former lawyer who dealt with cps cases |
Anonymous
| What’s with the word “bureau” everywhere? |
Anonymous
| OP, how did the visit today go? |
Anonymous
Fake. Was no visit. |
Anonymous
| You can't know that, PP. A poster who was a state's attorney posted she has been involved in such cases. CPS has a lot of variability across jurisdictions and workers. Which, if OP is real, is why she should seek legal advice before re-homing DD into ex's hoarder home. |