To the guy sitting by my side on the metro today: I'M REALLY REALLY SORRY...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were me that received a spraying of breast milk, I would have brought it to the OP's attention if she didn't acknowledge the incident by apologizing. It's just downright rude to pretend like it didn't happen. I wouldn't care that she was nursing and I wouldn't care about the spraying just so long as she was polite enough to acknowledge it. I get that babies need to eat when they are hungry, I really do, but I think that the OP could have prepared better by having a cover and the OP could have at least offered the man a tissue to clean himself up. Sometimes I wonder how people get by in life with the flippant attitude that the OP seems to have. She seems like she thinks that the incident was cute and quirky and unfortunately there are some postrs in this thread who are co-signing for her.

I see it differently. I think, like so many of the posters here, woman are made to feel embarrassed by breastfeeding in public and she was embarrassed to say anything to the man. Just like someone mentioning it would be like sneezing on someone even with the best intentions of covering your nose or bumping up against someone while sweaty, you can easily apologize because there is a common belief that these are natural bodily functions. However, breastfeeding is still considered by most as a shameful act that shouldn't be done in public, so when there is an incident, it's hard to apologize and acknowledge what just happened.

There may have been a time when this was true, but now I think the pendulum has swung the complete other way. I actually think BFing women sometimes use this supposed societal oppression of BFing in order to justify putting their comfort above the comfort of others. (E.g., the OP.) I am a huge breastfeeding advocate and I consider myself a feminist. But I also acknowledge that other people have the right to go through their day without seeing my boob and certainly without being squirted by my milk.

I BFed for almost two years, which included lots of travel and events, and yes, the metro. Depending on where we were, sometimes I would step away or use a nursing cover. I actually took a second to consider how people around me might feel, because my own comfort is not the only thing that matters in this world, EVEN WHEN IT COMES TO BREASTFEEDING. I expect others to respect my right to BF, and I respect their right to not be involved in it. Is this really that difficult to understand?

BFing is like sex--beautiful, natural, and necessary, but not something you should share with someone who doesn't want to be a part of it.

[Anonymous]

I am woman and support breastfeeding...but I would be grossed out if this happened to me and I would expect an apology.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were me that received a spraying of breast milk, I would have brought it to the OP's attention if she didn't acknowledge the incident by apologizing. It's just downright rude to pretend like it didn't happen. I wouldn't care that she was nursing and I wouldn't care about the spraying just so long as she was polite enough to acknowledge it. I get that babies need to eat when they are hungry, I really do, but I think that the OP could have prepared better by having a cover and the OP could have at least offered the man a tissue to clean himself up. Sometimes I wonder how people get by in life with the flippant attitude that the OP seems to have. She seems like she thinks that the incident was cute and quirky and unfortunately there are some postrs in this thread who are co-signing for her.

I see it differently. I think, like so many of the posters here, woman are made to feel embarrassed by breastfeeding in public and she was embarrassed to say anything to the man. Just like someone mentioning it would be like sneezing on someone even with the best intentions of covering your nose or bumping up against someone while sweaty, you can easily apologize because there is a common belief that these are natural bodily functions. However, breastfeeding is still considered by most as a shameful act that shouldn't be done in public, so when there is an incident, it's hard to apologize and acknowledge what just happened.

There may have been a time when this was true, but now I think the pendulum has swung the complete other way. I actually think BFing women sometimes use this supposed societal oppression of BFing in order to justify putting their comfort above the comfort of others. (E.g., the OP.) I am a huge breastfeeding advocate and I consider myself a feminist. But I also acknowledge that other people have the right to go through their day without seeing my boob and certainly without being squirted by my milk.

I BFed for almost two years, which included lots of travel and events, and yes, the metro. Depending on where we were, sometimes I would step away or use a nursing cover. I actually took a second to consider how people around me might feel, because my own comfort is not the only thing that matters in this world, EVEN WHEN IT COMES TO BREASTFEEDING. I expect others to respect my right to BF, and I respect their right to not be involved in it. Is this really that difficult to understand?

BFing is like sex--beautiful, natural, and necessary, but not something you should share with someone who doesn't want to be a part of it.

Who would disagree with this???? This was an ACCIDENT, not a deliberate act!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the only thing OP did wrong was not to apologize. Like someone said earlier...stuff does happen. I think many of the BF cheerleaders are being really hypocritical to put this woman down. If her milk was coming out and the baby was hungry -- what was she supposed to do?

1. Have some idea of when your baby is going to be hungry and arrange your schedule so you're not on the train at that time.
2. Use a nursing cover.
3. Get off at the next stop and sit on one of those benches in the station.
4. WARN the people around her that they are in the line of fire for her bodily fluids.

This has nothing to do with feminism or politics. A woman should have the right to breastfeed mostly anywhere, but that does not relieve her of the obligation to show basic consideration for those around her. This OP knew that she had oversupply issues and that this could happen. Why are her rights more important than this man's right to ride the metro without being subject to someone else's bodily fluids?

You can identify OP's kid in a few years because he will be the one tearing around a nice restaurant or kicking the back of your airplane seat.

PP here - are you for real? If you told me to follow your little list of #1-4 when I was breastfeeding I would have told you to F%CK yourself.

We have a right to breastfeed MOSTLY anywhere? Where, oh wise one, are the places we shouldn't have a right to breastfeed?

I was subjected to someone's bodily fluids when their sweaty arm touched mine when riding on the metro. I was a little grossed out but didn't think he purposefully imposed on my rights.

New poster here. I can't believe how insanely angry you sound!

Scary.

Sorry, I scared you...boo! Did I do it again? You scare pretty easy.

Did you actually READ the list of "rules" pp listed? #1 is actually laughable. She either NEVER breastfed, didn't breastfeed for long, and/or was a SAHM. I stand by my "F%CK YOU" if someone really told me I should abide by these suggestions. They're ludicrous. #2 - I didn't buy a lot of baby 'gadgets' and this was one of them A simple blanket worked when they were really little and after that I didn't need anything for the remainder of the year I breastfed both my kids. Don't tell me what I should buy! #3 - This is where my "F%CK YOU" sentiment kicks in. I think I am a fairly conscientious person and polite to those around me, but this is just absolutely ridiculous. I never felt the need, nor would I have the nerve to say to another breastfeeding mom, to go sit in a corner so to speak because while you should be able to breastfeed in MOST places but the train is not one according to pp. The benches are just, if not more, crowded than the trains. And who exactly do you think was going to give up one of those spaces on the benches for you to have enough room to breastfeed? #4 - I just assume was a smart-ass comment.

Only one person on this website scares me, and I think that YOU are her.

I'm the one who posted the four suggestions. I think you've misunderstood. The PP had asked what the OP should have done and I was answering that question. I certainly never said these were "rules" that all BFing moms should follow! But this OP in particular knew that she had oversupply issues and that this type of thing could easily happen. So in that case, yes, I do think she should have taken some measures to consider the rights of those around her. I BF'd for 22 months (between 2 kids), often in strange places, and I never used it as an excuse to disregard the rights of those around me.

Also when I said women should have the right to breastfeed "mostly" everywhere, I just meant anywhere that it would be appropriate to bring a baby.

There are a couple of other ways in which you totally misunderstood but you're kind of crazy and these were the most egregious, so I'll leave it at that.

After your explanation I don't feel I misunderstood you at all. I think the "what should OP have done" question was more of a rhetorical question. Not sure how I am "crazy" by my response. Is it for using the "F" word? grow up! Your suggestions besides #3, in my opinion, are ludicrous. Okay, maybe in real like I wouldn't have said F-U, but I definitely would have laughed at you and assumed you were kidding. Then, yeah, when you said you weren't kidding I would probably have said F-U. If that makes me crazy, and we're throwing labels around, then I'd say you're an idiot.

And you're right, since OP knew she had an oversupply issue she should stay home and never, ever, ever leave her house until that baby can learn to breastfeed without choking! I can't believe the baby had such nerve.

WRT disregarding anyone else's rights, she has the RIGHT to breastfeed ANYWHERE she and the baby are allowed to be and that does not impose on ANYONE ELSE'S rights, ever. You can more respectful about breastfeeding but I don't see how it would ever impose on anyone's rights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were me that received a spraying of breast milk, I would have brought it to the OP's attention if she didn't acknowledge the incident by apologizing. It's just downright rude to pretend like it didn't happen. I wouldn't care that she was nursing and I wouldn't care about the spraying just so long as she was polite enough to acknowledge it. I get that babies need to eat when they are hungry, I really do, but I think that the OP could have prepared better by having a cover and the OP could have at least offered the man a tissue to clean himself up. Sometimes I wonder how people get by in life with the flippant attitude that the OP seems to have. She seems like she thinks that the incident was cute and quirky and unfortunately there are some postrs in this thread who are co-signing for her.

I see it differently. I think, like so many of the posters here, woman are made to feel embarrassed by breastfeeding in public and she was embarrassed to say anything to the man. Just like someone mentioning it would be like sneezing on someone even with the best intentions of covering your nose or bumping up against someone while sweaty, you can easily apologize because there is a common belief that these are natural bodily functions. However, breastfeeding is still considered by most as a shameful act that shouldn't be done in public, so when there is an incident, it's hard to apologize and acknowledge what just happened.

There may have been a time when this was true, but now I think the pendulum has swung the complete other way. I actually think BFing women sometimes use this supposed societal oppression of BFing in order to justify putting their comfort above the comfort of others. (E.g., the OP.) I am a huge breastfeeding advocate and I consider myself a feminist. But I also acknowledge that other people have the right to go through their day without seeing my boob and certainly without being squirted by my milk.

I BFed for almost two years, which included lots of travel and events, and yes, the metro. Depending on where we were, sometimes I would step away or use a nursing cover. I actually took a second to consider how people around me might feel, because my own comfort is not the only thing that matters in this world, EVEN WHEN IT COMES TO BREASTFEEDING. I expect others to respect my right to BF, and I respect their right to not be involved in it. Is this really that difficult to understand?

BFing is like sex--beautiful, natural, and necessary, but not something you should share with someone who doesn't want to be a part of it.

This may be true in certain segments of DC, but it's a big country - definitely not true in most other places.

[Anonymous]

I BF'd for 10 years for all 8 of my children. I BF'd on metros, on buses, in taxis, on trains, on planes, on top of mountains, whilst driving fast cars, whilst meeting presidents, whilst receiving communion, whilst parachuting over the Zambezi and I never gave a thought to spraying anyone. Good on you OP, people in this town need to live a little and get over their predjudices...

[Anonymous]

Uh, what? You breastfed each of your 8 children for 10 years?!

[Anonymous]

she said "for all" and not "for each" you dumbo!

[Anonymous]

Aren't you nice, you "dumbo".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I BF'd for 10 years for all 8 of my children. I BF'd on metros, on buses, in taxis, on trains, on planes, on top of mountains, whilst driving fast cars, whilst meeting presidents, whilst receiving communion, whilst parachuting over the Zambezi and I never gave a thought to spraying anyone. Good on you OP, people in this town need to live a little and get over their predjudices...

Um, well, I just wanted to tell you that I was parasailing over the Zambezi and as you were coming down, you actually squirted a small amount of BM in my eye. Made landing somewhat difficult. I realize you were moving pretty fast but a quick acknowledgement of your unintended faux pas would have gone a long way with me. Just sayin'.

[Anonymous]

better that than a placenta lasagna

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought OP farted! And the guy should be happy, he probably has some good antibodies in him now that seeped in through his skin!

Oh brother! I know what you put in your coffee.

[Anonymous]

IMO, the Metro is just too bumpy to be nursing. Maybe pump and use a bottle next time.

[Anonymous]

Maybe OP's 60 yo Aunt Lois decided to watch the baby.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know of a daycare that takes babies at 5 weeks old. Just sayin'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the only thing OP did wrong was not to apologize. Like someone said earlier...stuff does happen. I think many of the BF cheerleaders are being really hypocritical to put this woman down. If her milk was coming out and the baby was hungry -- what was she supposed to do?

1. Have some idea of when your baby is going to be hungry and arrange your schedule so you're not on the train at that time.
2. Use a nursing cover.
3. Get off at the next stop and sit on one of those benches in the station.
4. WARN the people around her that they are in the line of fire for her bodily fluids.

This has nothing to do with feminism or politics. A woman should have the right to breastfeed mostly anywhere, but that does not relieve her of the obligation to show basic consideration for those around her. This OP knew that she had oversupply issues and that this could happen. Why are her rights more important than this man's right to ride the metro without being subject to someone else's bodily fluids?

You can identify OP's kid in a few years because he will be the one tearing around a nice restaurant or kicking the back of your airplane seat.

PP here - are you for real? If you told me to follow your little list of #1-4 when I was breastfeeding I would have told you to F%CK yourself.

We have a right to breastfeed MOSTLY anywhere? Where, oh wise one, are the places we shouldn't have a right to breastfeed?

I was subjected to someone's bodily fluids when their sweaty arm touched mine when riding on the metro. I was a little grossed out but didn't think he purposefully imposed on my rights.

New poster here. I can't believe how insanely angry you sound!

Scary.

Sorry, I scared you...boo! Did I do it again? You scare pretty easy.

Did you actually READ the list of "rules" pp listed? #1 is actually laughable. She either NEVER breastfed, didn't breastfeed for long, and/or was a SAHM. I stand by my "F%CK YOU" if someone really told me I should abide by these suggestions. They're ludicrous. #2 - I didn't buy a lot of baby 'gadgets' and this was one of them A simple blanket worked when they were really little and after that I didn't need anything for the remainder of the year I breastfed both my kids. Don't tell me what I should buy! #3 - This is where my "F%CK YOU" sentiment kicks in. I think I am a fairly conscientious person and polite to those around me, but this is just absolutely ridiculous. I never felt the need, nor would I have the nerve to say to another breastfeeding mom, to go sit in a corner so to speak because while you should be able to breastfeed in MOST places but the train is not one according to pp. The benches are just, if not more, crowded than the trains. And who exactly do you think was going to give up one of those spaces on the benches for you to have enough room to breastfeed? #4 - I just assume was a smart-ass comment.

Only one person on this website scares me, and I think that YOU are her.

I'm the one who posted the four suggestions. I think you've misunderstood. The PP had asked what the OP should have done and I was answering that question. I certainly never said these were "rules" that all BFing moms should follow! But this OP in particular knew that she had oversupply issues and that this type of thing could easily happen. So in that case, yes, I do think she should have taken some measures to consider the rights of those around her. I BF'd for 22 months (between 2 kids), often in strange places, and I never used it as an excuse to disregard the rights of those around me.

Also when I said women should have the right to breastfeed "mostly" everywhere, I just meant anywhere that it would be appropriate to bring a baby.

There are a couple of other ways in which you totally misunderstood but you're kind of crazy and these were the most egregious, so I'll leave it at that.

After your explanation I don't feel I misunderstood you at all. I think the "what should OP have done" question was more of a rhetorical question. Not sure how I am "crazy" by my response. Is it for using the "F" word? grow up! Your suggestions besides #3, in my opinion, are ludicrous. Okay, maybe in real like I wouldn't have said F-U, but I definitely would have laughed at you and assumed you were kidding. Then, yeah, when you said you weren't kidding I would probably have said F-U. If that makes me crazy, and we're throwing labels around, then I'd say you're an idiot.

And you're right, since OP knew she had an oversupply issue she should stay home and never, ever, ever leave her house until that baby can learn to breastfeed without choking! I can't believe the baby had such nerve.

WRT disregarding anyone else's rights, she has the RIGHT to breastfeed ANYWHERE she and the baby are allowed to be and that does not impose on ANYONE ELSE'S rights, ever. You can more respectful about breastfeeding but I don't see how it would ever impose on anyone's rights.

Maybe you need to relax with a glass of pear wine.

[Anonymous]

You folks are fucked in the head.