Was is always so hard for American youth to find good partners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women have higher standards because they have more economic options.
It's not good or bad, it just is.

I have 10 cousins, ranging from 34-54. Only three of them are married and of those only one has kids. The others are not married, but recently two have had babies at 36-37. One has been trying desperately for years. Aside from one cousin, the others all met their significant other after 30.

No wonder we need immigrants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too many male and female dirty Hos.

OLD and banging first meet.

It’s nasty out there.

+100

No standards. No decorum.

Filthy.

No incentive to marry for guys when that stuff is being given out for free and so easily accessible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never understood the > 6'ft thing. The average woman is 5'4. A guy who is 5'8 - 5'11 should suffice.

Women don't want short sons

+1. Taller men have a lot of advantages and moms want the best and most for their sons.

- Mom of 3 sons

Weird logic, what if you said because white privilege exists that you should only reproduce with white men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:man, there are some dudes on this thread who are having problems with dating.

But there seems to be even more women having that same problem

Is there a contingent of men that have just decided not to date, and are content with that choice? There’s definitely a contingent of women who are good with it. The only contingent of men I can think of that have chosen not to date (the incels) are definitely not fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:man, there are some dudes on this thread who are having problems with dating.

But there seems to be even more women having that same problem

Is there a contingent of men that have just decided not to date, and are content with that choice? There’s definitely a contingent of women who are good with it. The only contingent of men I can think of that have chosen not to date (the incels) are definitely not fine with it.

No need to worry about the men who do not date. The bottom 10% of men should be eliminated from the gene pool anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ask myself this question. On the surface of it I never thought I was too picky. I don't care about height or income that much.

That said, when I do think of the things I want in a date (let alone a partner, that has to come with time), it does seem to narrow things down too much for the pool of men out there:

- Gainfully employed and financially stable
- Independent adult
- Takes care of himself... weight and body type matter less than just being healthy and caring for yourself
- Not overly religious
- Not a MAGA
- Height doesn't matter but preferably taller than me (5'5)
- Some physical attraction in some way
- Wants a long-term relationship
- Wants to settle down, can make up his mind
- Not socially awkward/overly introverted/basement dweller/complete weirdo

It's extremely difficult to find a single man who satisfies all of those especially the last one

I also always thought I brought enough to the table, I'm conventionally attractive, thin, fun, social, financially secure. BUT, I think I have enough things that turn off men, which are: sexual anxiety, general anxiety where I see a therapist, not the greatest housekeeper/too scatterbrained, my cooking is too spicy, too inflexible about some things, too high-strung. Yeah there's no way somebody with all my flaws is going to find someone who checks all the above boxes. At least I have a dog.

Literally every man I know checks all your boxes. But you have some traits that would be classified as "too much drama"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to simplify it to this degree but I think it’s the quality of men. Women are outpacing men in education and careers.

There’s too many men who are permanent children and even if they get an education and work, they still expect women to take care of them (whether it’s mom or their wife).

Women would rather be alone than settle for these low quality options.

So only quality of men has declined, women's quality didn't deteriorate equally?

No that’s the point: women are more adaptable socially . There are plenty of books like “Why boys fail” etc explaining this

Lol. Women have not "adapted". They have become more entitled

Disagree. Women have adapted. Society now says we do not have to marry the first man who proposes. We don't have to start having babies as soon as possible. We can go to university because we are intelligent and interested in things. We can have careers without the automatic assumption that we will stop working when we marry and have babies. A man has to offer more than simply the ability to pay the bills, and since that has been the main thing men have been valued for, many of them have focused on just that and don't have more to offer. They don't focus on developing their personalities or social skills or interests. They are boring.

Funny, it's this very "I'm worth more than ... pick any subject" that has made my age group walk away time and time again. I am no engaged, but she is level headed and doesn't have that "feminist" stick up her a ... that you clearly do. The only person hung up on your perceived expectations is you and women who think like you, I don't know one single man who expects these things of the women in their life, not one. I do hope that you enjoy your own company, it's all you'll ever had with your attitude about men.

Right. Eventually they all convince themselves that they don't need a man after they realize they aren't getting one

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to simplify it to this degree but I think it’s the quality of men. Women are outpacing men in education and careers.

There’s too many men who are permanent children and even if they get an education and work, they still expect women to take care of them (whether it’s mom or their wife).

Women would rather be alone than settle for these low quality options.

So only quality of men has declined, women's quality didn't deteriorate equally?

No that’s the point: women are more adaptable socially . There are plenty of books like “Why boys fail” etc explaining this

Lol. Women have not "adapted". They have become more entitled

Disagree. Women have adapted. Society now says we do not have to marry the first man who proposes. We don't have to start having babies as soon as possible. We can go to university because we are intelligent and interested in things. We can have careers without the automatic assumption that we will stop working when we marry and have babies. A man has to offer more than simply the ability to pay the bills, and since that has been the main thing men have been valued for, many of them have focused on just that and don't have more to offer. They don't focus on developing their personalities or social skills or interests. They are boring.

Funny, it's this very "I'm worth more than ... pick any subject" that has made my age group walk away time and time again. I am no engaged, but she is level headed and doesn't have that "feminist" stick up her a ... that you clearly do. The only person hung up on your perceived expectations is you and women who think like you, I don't know one single man who expects these things of the women in their life, not one. I do hope that you enjoy your own company, it's all you'll ever had with your attitude about men.

Right. Eventually they all convince themselves that they don't need a man after they realize they aren't getting one

This.

This goes for men, too. But they turn rageful, while the women just get cats and join bookclubs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask myself this question. On the surface of it I never thought I was too picky. I don't care about height or income that much.

That said, when I do think of the things I want in a date (let alone a partner, that has to come with time), it does seem to narrow things down too much for the pool of men out there:

- Gainfully employed and financially stable
- Independent adult
- Takes care of himself... weight and body type matter less than just being healthy and caring for yourself
- Not overly religious
- Not a MAGA
- Height doesn't matter but preferably taller than me (5'5)
- Some physical attraction in some way
- Wants a long-term relationship
- Wants to settle down, can make up his mind
- Not socially awkward/overly introverted/basement dweller/complete weirdo

It's extremely difficult to find a single man who satisfies all of those especially the last one

I also always thought I brought enough to the table, I'm conventionally attractive, thin, fun, social, financially secure. BUT, I think I have enough things that turn off men, which are: sexual anxiety, general anxiety where I see a therapist, not the greatest housekeeper/too scatterbrained, my cooking is too spicy, too inflexible about some things, too high-strung. Yeah there's no way somebody with all my flaws is going to find someone who checks all the above boxes. At least I have a dog.

Literally every man I know checks all your boxes. But you have some traits that would be classified as "too much drama"

Ugh, when I was dating post-divorce there were no men on OLD who hit all of the above boxes. But that's men 45+.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too many male and female dirty Hos.

OLD and banging first meet.

It’s nasty out there.

+100

No standards. No decorum.

Filthy.

No incentive to marry for guys when that stuff is being given out for free and so easily accessible.

Well, guys are also doing the same so why women are being called filthy.? Either both are or no one is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:man, there are some dudes on this thread who are having problems with dating.

But there seems to be even more women having that same problem

Is there a contingent of men that have just decided not to date, and are content with that choice? There’s definitely a contingent of women who are good with it. The only contingent of men I can think of that have chosen not to date (the incels) are definitely not fine with it.

No need to worry about the men who do not date. The bottom 10% of men should be eliminated from the gene pool anyway.

By your logic similar percentage of women would also be eliminated from that gene pool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask myself this question. On the surface of it I never thought I was too picky. I don't care about height or income that much.

That said, when I do think of the things I want in a date (let alone a partner, that has to come with time), it does seem to narrow things down too much for the pool of men out there:

- Gainfully employed and financially stable
- Independent adult
- Takes care of himself... weight and body type matter less than just being healthy and caring for yourself
- Not overly religious
- Not a MAGA
- Height doesn't matter but preferably taller than me (5'5)
- Some physical attraction in some way
- Wants a long-term relationship
- Wants to settle down, can make up his mind
- Not socially awkward/overly introverted/basement dweller/complete weirdo

It's extremely difficult to find a single man who satisfies all of those especially the last one

I also always thought I brought enough to the table, I'm conventionally attractive, thin, fun, social, financially secure. BUT, I think I have enough things that turn off men, which are: sexual anxiety, general anxiety where I see a therapist, not the greatest housekeeper/too scatterbrained, my cooking is too spicy, too inflexible about some things, too high-strung. Yeah there's no way somebody with all my flaws is going to find someone who checks all the above boxes. At least I have a dog.

Literally every man I know checks all your boxes. But you have some traits that would be classified as "too much drama"

Ugh, when I was dating post-divorce there were no men on OLD who hit all of the above boxes. But that's men 45+.

Because men over 45 who want to be married and are decent catches are already married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was is always so hard for American youth to find good partners or is this a new issue? I see so many in their late 20's-late 30's who want to find ling term partners but things just don't work out. Why is that so?

Yes

Previously, many more women were trapped in bad marriages with partners they settled on because they couldn’t support themselves as singles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ask myself this question. On the surface of it I never thought I was too picky. I don't care about height or income that much.

That said, when I do think of the things I want in a date (let alone a partner, that has to come with time), it does seem to narrow things down too much for the pool of men out there:

- Gainfully employed and financially stable
- Independent adult
- Takes care of himself... weight and body type matter less than just being healthy and caring for yourself
- Not overly religious
- Not a MAGA
- Height doesn't matter but preferably taller than me (5'5)
- Some physical attraction in some way
- Wants a long-term relationship
- Wants to settle down, can make up his mind
- Not socially awkward/overly introverted/basement dweller/complete weirdo

It's extremely difficult to find a single man who satisfies all of those especially the last one

I also always thought I brought enough to the table, I'm conventionally attractive, thin, fun, social, financially secure. BUT, I think I have enough things that turn off men, which are: sexual anxiety, general anxiety where I see a therapist, not the greatest housekeeper/too scatterbrained, my cooking is too spicy, too inflexible about some things, too high-strung. Yeah there's no way somebody with all my flaws is going to find someone who checks all the above boxes. At least I have a dog.

Sounds like your therapy isn’t helping and is just keeping you anxious.

I dated plenty of men who met all of your requirements and am socially awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was is always so hard for American youth to find good partners or is this a new issue? I see so many in their late 20's-late 30's who want to find ling term partners but things just don't work out. Why is that so?

Yes

Previously, many more women were trapped in bad marriages with partners they settled on because they couldn’t support themselves as singles.

Well, original post is about finding partners, not holding on to them. If women are self sufficient then its easier to leave if a relationship doesn't work out.