Do you go to all home games?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

You’re never going to convince me that most kids want their parents to be completely oblivious to their on field accomplishments. I’m sure they don’t want their parents screaming stupid crap or being otherwise embarrassing, but I’m not talking about that.

Hey, go buy the book and read it or get it from your library. https://www.amazon.com/Matheny-Manifesto-Managers-Old-School-Success/dp/055344672X

I mean, it's not like the guy doesn't know of what he writes.

I don't think you appreciate that even innocuous cheering causes pressure on kids. We aren't just talking about the obvious parents that are trying to actively coach their kids from the stands.

It is also the old, "don't praise accomplishments, praise effort". You think you are just being nice when you say "Nice Homerun today"...your kid hears that you are only proud of him when he hits a home run, but you probably think he is a POS if he makes an error. I mean, you never praise him for showing great form when he struck out...or better yet, it is much better to hit a hard line drive that the 3B has to leap to catch (and your kid is out) vs. the little blooper that just happened to land in shallow RF.

But sure, you are the expert...even though the true experts say otherwise.

NP. You sound unhinged. You read ONE BOOK that contains the opinions of ONE MAN.

And as far as the praising effort stuff, we’re not talking about toddlers here. The kid doesn’t think that hitting a line drive straight to the third baseman is just as good as hitting a blooper that gets him on base… because it’s not. That’s how the game is played and I am guessing kids this age find it very cringe to have mommy praising them for errors or easily catchable non-hits.

I sound unhinged? I mean look at what you wrote. You just don't understand probably your own kid. Also, there are many books and much research on the topic, which the book actually cites. It is not opinions.

BTW, the kid should care more about hitting the line drive that wasn't straight to the 3rd baseman, but rather the 3rd baseman leapt and made a great catch. Why, because a college coach cares WAY MORE about a kid that hit that ball, then the kid who managed to eke out a little blooper to shallow RF. So, I would absolutely praise the former and just not mention the latter.

It's fine if you don't understand high level sports or have a recruitable player...you can celebrate your kid's mediocrity and also make your kid feel like s**t otherwise.

“It is also the old, "don't praise accomplishments, praise effort".”

Please explain how your bolded statement supports your previously stated philosophy. I think you are much more “results oriented” than you think.

Also, you sound doubly unhinged with your bizarre ending rant.

Now, I am unhinged X 2. I am trying to dumb this down so you understand it...and again, you have a mediocre talent, just admit it.

Praising a play that resulted in an out and the effort in the swing and the timing on the ball let's the kid know that it's better to get an out because the form is there, the power is there, and keep working those fundamentals and you are going to lift that line drive just 2 feet higher and drop a double down the line next time. I say don't mention the blooper...because there is nothing to discuss...the kid knows they got on base, but it wasn't a solid hit, and it's not something they want to replicate.

You do realize you sound exactly like the a**hole parents that others are mentioning, right? We can hear you now barking from the stands, haranguing your kid and others on the team.

But you said we should praise the *effort*. That blooper still requires effort, does it not, both to hit the ball and to run to first. But you say repeatedly you won’t praise *that* effort because… a college coach wouldn’t be impressed?

You are an extremely strange and angry person. Develop some internal logical consistency in your purported beliefs before you rant at strangers on the internet.

I don't know how to simplify this more for you. You are extremely dense. You deal with mediocre talent and I guarantee you are someone screaming from the bleachers. You are so worked up because this is all hitting too close to home.

No kid is jumping up-and-down ecstatic about their check-swinged blooper to RF. The kid isn't happy about that "hit"...they don't want to talk about it...there is nothing to talk about. I wouldn't focus in on that hit whatsoever, but rather mention his effort over the entire game.

You seem to want to talk about your kid's errors (just what every kid wants their parent to bring up) and every other thing that didn't go right in the game. My reference to the college coach was to point out your glaring misunderstanding of on-field performance and effort.

Let us know generally where you live so we can keep our eye out for the jacka** screaming at their kid on the field.

Perhaps I am dense but at least I understand what it looks (reads) like to be “so worked up” and… that person in this conversation is you, my friend. I mean really, sorry I said the book is just your opinion Mike, but try to calm down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

You’re never going to convince me that most kids want their parents to be completely oblivious to their on field accomplishments. I’m sure they don’t want their parents screaming stupid crap or being otherwise embarrassing, but I’m not talking about that.

Hey, go buy the book and read it or get it from your library. https://www.amazon.com/Matheny-Manifesto-Managers-Old-School-Success/dp/055344672X

I mean, it's not like the guy doesn't know of what he writes.

I don't think you appreciate that even innocuous cheering causes pressure on kids. We aren't just talking about the obvious parents that are trying to actively coach their kids from the stands.

It is also the old, "don't praise accomplishments, praise effort". You think you are just being nice when you say "Nice Homerun today"...your kid hears that you are only proud of him when he hits a home run, but you probably think he is a POS if he makes an error. I mean, you never praise him for showing great form when he struck out...or better yet, it is much better to hit a hard line drive that the 3B has to leap to catch (and your kid is out) vs. the little blooper that just happened to land in shallow RF.

But sure, you are the expert...even though the true experts say otherwise.

NP. You sound unhinged. You read ONE BOOK that contains the opinions of ONE MAN.

And as far as the praising effort stuff, we’re not talking about toddlers here. The kid doesn’t think that hitting a line drive straight to the third baseman is just as good as hitting a blooper that gets him on base… because it’s not. That’s how the game is played and I am guessing kids this age find it very cringe to have mommy praising them for errors or easily catchable non-hits.

I sound unhinged? I mean look at what you wrote. You just don't understand probably your own kid. Also, there are many books and much research on the topic, which the book actually cites. It is not opinions.

BTW, the kid should care more about hitting the line drive that wasn't straight to the 3rd baseman, but rather the 3rd baseman leapt and made a great catch. Why, because a college coach cares WAY MORE about a kid that hit that ball, then the kid who managed to eke out a little blooper to shallow RF. So, I would absolutely praise the former and just not mention the latter.

It's fine if you don't understand high level sports or have a recruitable player...you can celebrate your kid's mediocrity and also make your kid feel like s**t otherwise.

“It is also the old, "don't praise accomplishments, praise effort".”

Please explain how your bolded statement supports your previously stated philosophy. I think you are much more “results oriented” than you think.

Also, you sound doubly unhinged with your bizarre ending rant.

Now, I am unhinged X 2. I am trying to dumb this down so you understand it...and again, you have a mediocre talent, just admit it.

Praising a play that resulted in an out and the effort in the swing and the timing on the ball let's the kid know that it's better to get an out because the form is there, the power is there, and keep working those fundamentals and you are going to lift that line drive just 2 feet higher and drop a double down the line next time. I say don't mention the blooper...because there is nothing to discuss...the kid knows they got on base, but it wasn't a solid hit, and it's not something they want to replicate.

You do realize you sound exactly like the a**hole parents that others are mentioning, right? We can hear you now barking from the stands, haranguing your kid and others on the team.

But you said we should praise the *effort*. That blooper still requires effort, does it not, both to hit the ball and to run to first. But you say repeatedly you won’t praise *that* effort because… a college coach wouldn’t be impressed?

You are an extremely strange and angry person. Develop some internal logical consistency in your purported beliefs before you rant at strangers on the internet.

I don't know how to simplify this more for you. You are extremely dense. You deal with mediocre talent and I guarantee you are someone screaming from the bleachers. You are so worked up because this is all hitting too close to home.

No kid is jumping up-and-down ecstatic about their check-swinged blooper to RF. The kid isn't happy about that "hit"...they don't want to talk about it...there is nothing to talk about. I wouldn't focus in on that hit whatsoever, but rather mention his effort over the entire game.

You seem to want to talk about your kid's errors (just what every kid wants their parent to bring up) and every other thing that didn't go right in the game. My reference to the college coach was to point out your glaring misunderstanding of on-field performance and effort.

Let us know generally where you live so we can keep our eye out for the jacka** screaming at their kid on the field.

Perhaps I am dense but at least I understand what it looks (reads) like to be “so worked up” and… that person in this conversation is you, my friend. I mean really, sorry I said the book is just your opinion Mike, but try to calm down.

Nice job tool…you admitted you are stupid. Keep it coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

You’re never going to convince me that most kids want their parents to be completely oblivious to their on field accomplishments. I’m sure they don’t want their parents screaming stupid crap or being otherwise embarrassing, but I’m not talking about that.

Hey, go buy the book and read it or get it from your library. https://www.amazon.com/Matheny-Manifesto-Managers-Old-School-Success/dp/055344672X

I mean, it's not like the guy doesn't know of what he writes.

I don't think you appreciate that even innocuous cheering causes pressure on kids. We aren't just talking about the obvious parents that are trying to actively coach their kids from the stands.

It is also the old, "don't praise accomplishments, praise effort". You think you are just being nice when you say "Nice Homerun today"...your kid hears that you are only proud of him when he hits a home run, but you probably think he is a POS if he makes an error. I mean, you never praise him for showing great form when he struck out...or better yet, it is much better to hit a hard line drive that the 3B has to leap to catch (and your kid is out) vs. the little blooper that just happened to land in shallow RF.

But sure, you are the expert...even though the true experts say otherwise.

NP. You sound unhinged. You read ONE BOOK that contains the opinions of ONE MAN.

And as far as the praising effort stuff, we’re not talking about toddlers here. The kid doesn’t think that hitting a line drive straight to the third baseman is just as good as hitting a blooper that gets him on base… because it’s not. That’s how the game is played and I am guessing kids this age find it very cringe to have mommy praising them for errors or easily catchable non-hits.

I sound unhinged? I mean look at what you wrote. You just don't understand probably your own kid. Also, there are many books and much research on the topic, which the book actually cites. It is not opinions.

BTW, the kid should care more about hitting the line drive that wasn't straight to the 3rd baseman, but rather the 3rd baseman leapt and made a great catch. Why, because a college coach cares WAY MORE about a kid that hit that ball, then the kid who managed to eke out a little blooper to shallow RF. So, I would absolutely praise the former and just not mention the latter.

It's fine if you don't understand high level sports or have a recruitable player...you can celebrate your kid's mediocrity and also make your kid feel like s**t otherwise.

“It is also the old, "don't praise accomplishments, praise effort".”

Please explain how your bolded statement supports your previously stated philosophy. I think you are much more “results oriented” than you think.

Also, you sound doubly unhinged with your bizarre ending rant.

Now, I am unhinged X 2. I am trying to dumb this down so you understand it...and again, you have a mediocre talent, just admit it.

Praising a play that resulted in an out and the effort in the swing and the timing on the ball let's the kid know that it's better to get an out because the form is there, the power is there, and keep working those fundamentals and you are going to lift that line drive just 2 feet higher and drop a double down the line next time. I say don't mention the blooper...because there is nothing to discuss...the kid knows they got on base, but it wasn't a solid hit, and it's not something they want to replicate.

You do realize you sound exactly like the a**hole parents that others are mentioning, right? We can hear you now barking from the stands, haranguing your kid and others on the team.

But you said we should praise the *effort*. That blooper still requires effort, does it not, both to hit the ball and to run to first. But you say repeatedly you won’t praise *that* effort because… a college coach wouldn’t be impressed?

You are an extremely strange and angry person. Develop some internal logical consistency in your purported beliefs before you rant at strangers on the internet.

I don't know how to simplify this more for you. You are extremely dense. You deal with mediocre talent and I guarantee you are someone screaming from the bleachers. You are so worked up because this is all hitting too close to home.

No kid is jumping up-and-down ecstatic about their check-swinged blooper to RF. The kid isn't happy about that "hit"...they don't want to talk about it...there is nothing to talk about. I wouldn't focus in on that hit whatsoever, but rather mention his effort over the entire game.

You seem to want to talk about your kid's errors (just what every kid wants their parent to bring up) and every other thing that didn't go right in the game. My reference to the college coach was to point out your glaring misunderstanding of on-field performance and effort.

Let us know generally where you live so we can keep our eye out for the jacka** screaming at their kid on the field.

Perhaps I am dense but at least I understand what it looks (reads) like to be “so worked up” and… that person in this conversation is you, my friend. I mean really, sorry I said the book is just your opinion Mike, but try to calm down.

Nice job tool…you admitted you are stupid. Keep it coming.

Wowza! Good luck to your poor kid(s). You sound like a peach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

LOL. You’re latching onto an argument that coincides with your desired outcome and holding on for dear life. 13 year olds also prefer to not attend class, do no homework, eat junk food and be on electronics all day. Are you taking your 13 year old’s lead on those topics? Are you following those articles.

There is a vein of truth that those kids are touching on in terms of parent behavior, so I don’t want to dismiss you out of hand here. And, as kids age I agree with matheny that parents should fade from practice.

Additionally, the nature of youth is such that you don’t grasp temporally the meaning of parent sacrifice of time and effort. By my senior year in high school I started to understand what it meant that my parents were always in the stands for all games. Especially as you notice a lifetime of teammates looking for their parents that never showed up. It wasn’t until I had my own family and career that I fully appreciated what my parents were doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

LOL. You’re latching onto an argument that coincides with your desired outcome and holding on for dear life. 13 year olds also prefer to not attend class, do no homework, eat junk food and be on electronics all day. Are you taking your 13 year old’s lead on those topics? Are you following those articles.

There is a vein of truth that those kids are touching on in terms of parent behavior, so I don’t want to dismiss you out of hand here. And, as kids age I agree with matheny that parents should fade from practice.

Additionally, the nature of youth is such that you don’t grasp temporally the meaning of parent sacrifice of time and effort. By my senior year in high school I started to understand what it meant that my parents were always in the stands for all games. Especially as you notice a lifetime of teammates looking for their parents that never showed up. It wasn’t until I had my own family and career that I fully appreciated what my parents were doing.

No, I’m not. I am asking my kid what they prefer and respecting it. If your kid wants you there…great for you.

However, there are more kid wishing their parents weren’t there (or at least at every single game)…vs the reverse.

I agree about the extrems…this isn’t go to zero, but it also isn’t go to every single game.

[Anonymous]

The original post asked specifically about home games but for us, “home” games aren’t always close by. My son plays travel baseball and often their games, especially weekday games, are somewhere far away. So yeah, I’m staying for that.

[Anonymous]

One of us is there but not always both. I consider that fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

LOL. You’re latching onto an argument that coincides with your desired outcome and holding on for dear life. 13 year olds also prefer to not attend class, do no homework, eat junk food and be on electronics all day. Are you taking your 13 year old’s lead on those topics? Are you following those articles.

There is a vein of truth that those kids are touching on in terms of parent behavior, so I don’t want to dismiss you out of hand here. And, as kids age I agree with matheny that parents should fade from practice.

Additionally, the nature of youth is such that you don’t grasp temporally the meaning of parent sacrifice of time and effort. By my senior year in high school I started to understand what it meant that my parents were always in the stands for all games. Especially as you notice a lifetime of teammates looking for their parents that never showed up. It wasn’t until I had my own family and career that I fully appreciated what my parents were doing.

No, I’m not. I am asking my kid what they prefer and respecting it. If your kid wants you there…great for you.

However, there are more kid wishing their parents weren’t there (or at least at every single game)…vs the reverse.

I agree about the extrems…this isn’t go to zero, but it also isn’t go to every single game.

The average 13 year old will decline to do homework, skip class in favor of hanging out with friends, and eat a junk diet. They leave their room a mess. They’ll also spend all day on their phones/electronics. Something like a third of all 13 year olds dream of becoming social media influencers. Are you going to respect the average 13 year old’s preferences on those issues?

Finally, the average 13 year old lacks the life experience to appreciate the meaning of family and thinks their parents are the uncoolest people on the planet. Heck, understanding your parents and the meaning of family is a lifelong journey that I feel I’m finally getting a good grasp on. Why would you weight a 13 year olds preference on *your presence* at a sporting event unless you didn’t really want to go I t eh first place and needed convenient cover?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

LOL. You’re latching onto an argument that coincides with your desired outcome and holding on for dear life. 13 year olds also prefer to not attend class, do no homework, eat junk food and be on electronics all day. Are you taking your 13 year old’s lead on those topics? Are you following those articles.

There is a vein of truth that those kids are touching on in terms of parent behavior, so I don’t want to dismiss you out of hand here. And, as kids age I agree with matheny that parents should fade from practice.

Additionally, the nature of youth is such that you don’t grasp temporally the meaning of parent sacrifice of time and effort. By my senior year in high school I started to understand what it meant that my parents were always in the stands for all games. Especially as you notice a lifetime of teammates looking for their parents that never showed up. It wasn’t until I had my own family and career that I fully appreciated what my parents were doing.

No, I’m not. I am asking my kid what they prefer and respecting it. If your kid wants you there…great for you.

However, there are more kid wishing their parents weren’t there (or at least at every single game)…vs the reverse.

I agree about the extrems…this isn’t go to zero, but it also isn’t go to every single game.

The average 13 year old will decline to do homework, skip class in favor of hanging out with friends, and eat a junk diet. They leave their room a mess. They’ll also spend all day on their phones/electronics. Something like a third of all 13 year olds dream of becoming social media influencers. Are you going to respect the average 13 year old’s preferences on those issues?

Finally, the average 13 year old lacks the life experience to appreciate the meaning of family and thinks their parents are the uncoolest people on the planet. Heck, understanding your parents and the meaning of family is a lifelong journey that I feel I’m finally getting a good grasp on. Why would you weight a 13 year olds preference on *your presence* at a sporting event unless you didn’t really want to go I t eh first place and needed convenient cover?

You clearly are a parent that your kid resents in the stands. You are going through so many mental gymnastics in order to beat down your kid that you are right no matter what.

The idea that having your kid do their homework or play less video games is the same as to whether they know you are a jerk at games and make them feel like crap after they play is such a false equivalence.

Kids with decent parents don’t actively resist their parents attending just because they are 13…sorry, they resist because the parent isn’t a helpful presence.

[Anonymous]

I asked an actual 13 year old what he thought of his parents’ attendance at his games. He said, “I like when you come but I don’t need you to be there.” Honestly, team sports are a big social thing for him so as long as he’s with his teammates having fun, he’s good.

But, DH’s parents never came to a single thing of his or his brothers’- not a game, not a parent-teacher conference, and not a school concert. It bothered the kids.

I think it would’ve bothered DS when he was in rec sports to not have his parents or aunt there; now in travel sports, I’m not sure he cares as much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

LOL. You’re latching onto an argument that coincides with your desired outcome and holding on for dear life. 13 year olds also prefer to not attend class, do no homework, eat junk food and be on electronics all day. Are you taking your 13 year old’s lead on those topics? Are you following those articles.

There is a vein of truth that those kids are touching on in terms of parent behavior, so I don’t want to dismiss you out of hand here. And, as kids age I agree with matheny that parents should fade from practice.

Additionally, the nature of youth is such that you don’t grasp temporally the meaning of parent sacrifice of time and effort. By my senior year in high school I started to understand what it meant that my parents were always in the stands for all games. Especially as you notice a lifetime of teammates looking for their parents that never showed up. It wasn’t until I had my own family and career that I fully appreciated what my parents were doing.

No, I’m not. I am asking my kid what they prefer and respecting it. If your kid wants you there…great for you.

However, there are more kid wishing their parents weren’t there (or at least at every single game)…vs the reverse.

I agree about the extrems…this isn’t go to zero, but it also isn’t go to every single game.

The average 13 year old will decline to do homework, skip class in favor of hanging out with friends, and eat a junk diet. They leave their room a mess. They’ll also spend all day on their phones/electronics. Something like a third of all 13 year olds dream of becoming social media influencers. Are you going to respect the average 13 year old’s preferences on those issues?

Finally, the average 13 year old lacks the life experience to appreciate the meaning of family and thinks their parents are the uncoolest people on the planet. Heck, understanding your parents and the meaning of family is a lifelong journey that I feel I’m finally getting a good grasp on. Why would you weight a 13 year olds preference on *your presence* at a sporting event unless you didn’t really want to go I t eh first place and needed convenient cover?

You clearly are a parent that your kid resents in the stands. You are going through so many mental gymnastics in order to beat down your kid that you are right no matter what.

The idea that having your kid do their homework or play less video games is the same as to whether they know you are a jerk at games and make them feel like crap after they play is such a false equivalence.

Kids with decent parents don’t actively resist their parents attending just because they are 13…sorry, they resist because the parent isn’t a helpful presence.

Try again. I’m not in the stands. I’m on the bench with a clipboard and in practice with a whistle around my neck. And I’m giving you the perspective of someone that works with young people in a popular sport not to win, but to build young people into upstanding young men (and sometimes young women).

My own children always begged me to coach their rec league teams and were disappointed in years when I explained it was better for them to get diversity of coaching and learn to play for others.

I tell you this because I see your sons when you don’t. I hear them chatting when you can’t hear what they say.

You have hit a sliver of truth: if the choice is between a parent making an ass of themselves and not being there, your son will choose absence of the parent every time. But if the choice is between (a) parent being there on good behavior, (b) parent being there on bad behavior, and (c) parent not being there. 95% of your sons will choose (a) and they’ll never admit it to you or their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

LOL. You’re latching onto an argument that coincides with your desired outcome and holding on for dear life. 13 year olds also prefer to not attend class, do no homework, eat junk food and be on electronics all day. Are you taking your 13 year old’s lead on those topics? Are you following those articles.

There is a vein of truth that those kids are touching on in terms of parent behavior, so I don’t want to dismiss you out of hand here. And, as kids age I agree with matheny that parents should fade from practice.

Additionally, the nature of youth is such that you don’t grasp temporally the meaning of parent sacrifice of time and effort. By my senior year in high school I started to understand what it meant that my parents were always in the stands for all games. Especially as you notice a lifetime of teammates looking for their parents that never showed up. It wasn’t until I had my own family and career that I fully appreciated what my parents were doing.

No, I’m not. I am asking my kid what they prefer and respecting it. If your kid wants you there…great for you.

However, there are more kid wishing their parents weren’t there (or at least at every single game)…vs the reverse.

I agree about the extrems…this isn’t go to zero, but it also isn’t go to every single game.

The average 13 year old will decline to do homework, skip class in favor of hanging out with friends, and eat a junk diet. They leave their room a mess. They’ll also spend all day on their phones/electronics. Something like a third of all 13 year olds dream of becoming social media influencers. Are you going to respect the average 13 year old’s preferences on those issues?

Finally, the average 13 year old lacks the life experience to appreciate the meaning of family and thinks their parents are the uncoolest people on the planet. Heck, understanding your parents and the meaning of family is a lifelong journey that I feel I’m finally getting a good grasp on. Why would you weight a 13 year olds preference on *your presence* at a sporting event unless you didn’t really want to go I t eh first place and needed convenient cover?

You clearly are a parent that your kid resents in the stands. You are going through so many mental gymnastics in order to beat down your kid that you are right no matter what.

The idea that having your kid do their homework or play less video games is the same as to whether they know you are a jerk at games and make them feel like crap after they play is such a false equivalence.

Kids with decent parents don’t actively resist their parents attending just because they are 13…sorry, they resist because the parent isn’t a helpful presence.

Try again. I’m not in the stands. I’m on the bench with a clipboard and in practice with a whistle around my neck. And I’m giving you the perspective of someone that works with young people in a popular sport not to win, but to build young people into upstanding young men (and sometimes young women).

My own children always begged me to coach their rec league teams and were disappointed in years when I explained it was better for them to get diversity of coaching and learn to play for others.

I tell you this because I see your sons when you don’t. I hear them chatting when you can’t hear what they say.

You have hit a sliver of truth: if the choice is between a parent making an ass of themselves and not being there, your son will choose absence of the parent every time. But if the choice is between (a) parent being there on good behavior, (b) parent being there on bad behavior, and (c) parent not being there. 95% of your sons will choose (a) and they’ll never admit it to you or their friends.

We are agreeing...although for (a), it's be there a bunch, but no...you don't have to be there 100% of the time.

Neither my kid or his friends have a problem "admitting it to his friends". This isn't something embarrassing. I am confused by that comment.

I coached for many years myself...you can't now claim you didn't hear some of your players wishing their parents weren't there, right? I never heard any player mentioning a parent that attended games and behaved, and no player ever mentioned a parent who attended 50% of their games and was just so upset it wasn't 100%.

Yes, for the kid where it is 0%...that was tough.

There is just a ton of flexibility and understanding between 0% and 100%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

LOL. You’re latching onto an argument that coincides with your desired outcome and holding on for dear life. 13 year olds also prefer to not attend class, do no homework, eat junk food and be on electronics all day. Are you taking your 13 year old’s lead on those topics? Are you following those articles.

There is a vein of truth that those kids are touching on in terms of parent behavior, so I don’t want to dismiss you out of hand here. And, as kids age I agree with matheny that parents should fade from practice.

Additionally, the nature of youth is such that you don’t grasp temporally the meaning of parent sacrifice of time and effort. By my senior year in high school I started to understand what it meant that my parents were always in the stands for all games. Especially as you notice a lifetime of teammates looking for their parents that never showed up. It wasn’t until I had my own family and career that I fully appreciated what my parents were doing.

No, I’m not. I am asking my kid what they prefer and respecting it. If your kid wants you there…great for you.

However, there are more kid wishing their parents weren’t there (or at least at every single game)…vs the reverse.

I agree about the extrems…this isn’t go to zero, but it also isn’t go to every single game.

The average 13 year old will decline to do homework, skip class in favor of hanging out with friends, and eat a junk diet. They leave their room a mess. They’ll also spend all day on their phones/electronics. Something like a third of all 13 year olds dream of becoming social media influencers. Are you going to respect the average 13 year old’s preferences on those issues?

Finally, the average 13 year old lacks the life experience to appreciate the meaning of family and thinks their parents are the uncoolest people on the planet. Heck, understanding your parents and the meaning of family is a lifelong journey that I feel I’m finally getting a good grasp on. Why would you weight a 13 year olds preference on *your presence* at a sporting event unless you didn’t really want to go I t eh first place and needed convenient cover?

You clearly are a parent that your kid resents in the stands. You are going through so many mental gymnastics in order to beat down your kid that you are right no matter what.

The idea that having your kid do their homework or play less video games is the same as to whether they know you are a jerk at games and make them feel like crap after they play is such a false equivalence.

Kids with decent parents don’t actively resist their parents attending just because they are 13…sorry, they resist because the parent isn’t a helpful presence.

Try again. I’m not in the stands. I’m on the bench with a clipboard and in practice with a whistle around my neck. And I’m giving you the perspective of someone that works with young people in a popular sport not to win, but to build young people into upstanding young men (and sometimes young women).

My own children always begged me to coach their rec league teams and were disappointed in years when I explained it was better for them to get diversity of coaching and learn to play for others.

I tell you this because I see your sons when you don’t. I hear them chatting when you can’t hear what they say.

You have hit a sliver of truth: if the choice is between a parent making an ass of themselves and not being there, your son will choose absence of the parent every time. But if the choice is between (a) parent being there on good behavior, (b) parent being there on bad behavior, and (c) parent not being there. 95% of your sons will choose (a) and they’ll never admit it to you or their friends.

Your kids begged you to coach rec teams, which you refused… and now you refuse to go to their home games? Um…