Do you go to all home games?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can so many of you go to all games? Usually I don't get off of work until after the game ends.

I work from home Wednesdays and am off by 3:15pm. My son plays travel baseball and his weekday games are always Wednesdays, conveniently for me. My husband, however, doesn’t get home until after games usually start so he doesn’t come to the weekday games. We wouldn’t be able to do it at all if I didn’t work from home that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can so many of you go to all games? Usually I don't get off of work until after the game ends.

Many games are on weekends and evenings

[Anonymous]

Don't feel bad if you don't attend games.

Read the book by Mike Matheny who was the Manager of the St Louis Cardinals, but decided to coach his kid's youth baseball team for a while.

It is a bit heavy on religion, but he quotes some very interesting statistics.

Many of his players and youth players in general don't care if their parent attends...and if they do attend they don't want to hear them say anything. Literally, the #1 answer by far when asked "what do you want your parents to do at games?" was "nothing...talk to other parents or don't come at all".

His kids' team was maybe 13/14, so probably when they view parent's attendance a bit differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't feel bad if you don't attend games.

Read the book by Mike Matheny who was the Manager of the St Louis Cardinals, but decided to coach his kid's youth baseball team for a while.

It is a bit heavy on religion, but he quotes some very interesting statistics.

Many of his players and youth players in general don't care if their parent attends...and if they do attend they don't want to hear them say anything. Literally, the #1 answer by far when asked "what do you want your parents to do at games?" was "nothing...talk to other parents or don't come at all".

His kids' team was maybe 13/14, so probably when they view parent's attendance a bit differently.

Yep this has generally been my (3) kids’ opinion. They genuinely don’t care one way or the other if we attend games (each plays a travel and rec sport). They told DH to quiet down with the “helpful” suggestions during games years ago, and he listened. Many parents do not- their kids are usually embarrassed.

Sometimes DH attends, sometimes I attend, sometimes we both do, sometimes neither.

DS13 has a tournament in our hometown this weekend. 3 game minimum and they may play up to 5 games (likely). NO way will I be attending all 5 games! We have 2 other kids, and other things to get done this weekend. I’ll attend a game or 2 probably. DH probably will also. But if something comes up- who knows. Same for most of the other parents. We all help each other out with carpooling etc.

DS is happy being with his friends and having $$ for the snack bar between games. We support him but it is his game and his hobby- not ours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I go to all practices and games. Have never missed one. We just came back from Michigan. I want to be there to support my kid and his teammates win or lose!

What could possibly be the point of going to all practices.

[Anonymous]

I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids have parents who rarely show up. It strikes me as very sad.

I remember seeing the Dad of one of DS' soccer teammates sitting in his truck watching TV on his phone during a game.

It was honestly one of the saddest things I've ever seen

Don't judge. Some parents have disabilities or ailments that prevent then from walking/standing/sitting for long periods so they stay in the car.

Nope. I will 100% judge this man

He had no disability. He just didn't like soccer and felt his interests were more important than watching his son.

Eh. Quite frankly, I can go either way with this. Should parents support their kids? Of course. But I’m not sure the kid with the overly-invested parent screaming instructions from the sidelines at every game is better off.

Sometimes it strikes me as very effed up that a bunch of adults haul out camp chairs each weekend to watch every second of kiddie games. Just let them play….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

You’re never going to convince me that most kids want their parents to be completely oblivious to their on field accomplishments. I’m sure they don’t want their parents screaming stupid crap or being otherwise embarrassing, but I’m not talking about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I go to all practices and games. Have never missed one. We just came back from Michigan. I want to be there to support my kid and his teammates win or lose!

What could possibly be the point of going to all practices.

If the parent is able to be helpful and helps, it can be super useful.

It could also be that the parent works with the kid between practices at home and seeing practice is helpful.

Basically it works if coach, parent, and kid all have a good working relationship of some sort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

You’re never going to convince me that most kids want their parents to be completely oblivious to their on field accomplishments. I’m sure they don’t want their parents screaming stupid crap or being otherwise embarrassing, but I’m not talking about that.

+1. Kids want their parents to know when they do well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't feel bad if you don't attend games.

Read the book by Mike Matheny who was the Manager of the St Louis Cardinals, but decided to coach his kid's youth baseball team for a while.

It is a bit heavy on religion, but he quotes some very interesting statistics.

Many of his players and youth players in general don't care if their parent attends...and if they do attend they don't want to hear them say anything. Literally, the #1 answer by far when asked "what do you want your parents to do at games?" was "nothing...talk to other parents or don't come at all".

His kids' team was maybe 13/14, so probably when they view parent's attendance a bit differently.

Yep this has generally been my (3) kids’ opinion. They genuinely don’t care one way or the other if we attend games (each plays a travel and rec sport). They told DH to quiet down with the “helpful” suggestions during games years ago, and he listened. Many parents do not- their kids are usually embarrassed.

Sometimes DH attends, sometimes I attend, sometimes we both do, sometimes neither.

DS13 has a tournament in our hometown this weekend. 3 game minimum and they may play up to 5 games (likely). NO way will I be attending all 5 games! We have 2 other kids, and other things to get done this weekend. I’ll attend a game or 2 probably. DH probably will also. But if something comes up- who knows. Same for most of the other parents. We all help each other out with carpooling etc.

DS is happy being with his friends and having $$ for the snack bar between games. We support him but it is his game and his hobby- not ours.

This is all true. But its sort of like a Catch-22.

The kids that don't care if their parents come are the kids with parents that have attended almost all the games. They know (bc the parents have demonstrated) that their parents support.

The kids without support in the game are the ones that would prefer to have their parents at their games.

Anecdotally, we have a player on DS' baseball team that gets dropped off at tournaments (and usually gets a ride home from another family). Between games, he's definitely relaxing under the family canopies, chatting with the parents and playing with the younger siblings. He wants that family atmosphere. While the other kids may be watching the other games, hanging at concessions, goofing around on their phones, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids have parents who rarely show up. It strikes me as very sad.

I remember seeing the Dad of one of DS' soccer teammates sitting in his truck watching TV on his phone during a game.

It was honestly one of the saddest things I've ever seen

Don't judge. Some parents have disabilities or ailments that prevent then from walking/standing/sitting for long periods so they stay in the car.

Nope. I will 100% judge this man

He had no disability. He just didn't like soccer and felt his interests were more important than watching his son.

Eh. Quite frankly, I can go either way with this. Should parents support their kids? Of course. But I’m not sure the kid with the overly-invested parent screaming instructions from the sidelines at every game is better off.

Sometimes it strikes me as very effed up that a bunch of adults haul out camp chairs each weekend to watch every second of kiddie games. Just let them play….

Sure. But lets not act like its an either/or. Those aren't the only 2 options. You can (and should) be a parent that just observes from the stands and cheer positively for the team.

In fact, despite all the bad parents out there, I think most parents fall into that third category.

Saying "I don't attend the games, because when I do, I behave poorly" is a pretty bad excuse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

You’re never going to convince me that most kids want their parents to be completely oblivious to their on field accomplishments. I’m sure they don’t want their parents screaming stupid crap or being otherwise embarrassing, but I’m not talking about that.

Hey, go buy the book and read it or get it from your library. https://www.amazon.com/Matheny-Manifesto-Managers-Old-School-Success/dp/055344672X

I mean, it's not like the guy doesn't know of what he writes.

I don't think you appreciate that even innocuous cheering causes pressure on kids. We aren't just talking about the obvious parents that are trying to actively coach their kids from the stands.

It is also the old, "don't praise accomplishments, praise effort". You think you are just being nice when you say "Nice Homerun today"...your kid hears that you are only proud of him when he hits a home run, but you probably think he is a POS if he makes an error. I mean, you never praise him for showing great form when he struck out...or better yet, it is much better to hit a hard line drive that the 3B has to leap to catch (and your kid is out) vs. the little blooper that just happened to land in shallow RF.

But sure, you are the expert...even though the true experts say otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

You’re never going to convince me that most kids want their parents to be completely oblivious to their on field accomplishments. I’m sure they don’t want their parents screaming stupid crap or being otherwise embarrassing, but I’m not talking about that.

Hey, go buy the book and read it or get it from your library. https://www.amazon.com/Matheny-Manifesto-Managers-Old-School-Success/dp/055344672X

I mean, it's not like the guy doesn't know of what he writes.

I don't think you appreciate that even innocuous cheering causes pressure on kids. We aren't just talking about the obvious parents that are trying to actively coach their kids from the stands.

It is also the old, "don't praise accomplishments, praise effort". You think you are just being nice when you say "Nice Homerun today"...your kid hears that you are only proud of him when he hits a home run, but you probably think he is a POS if he makes an error. I mean, you never praise him for showing great form when he struck out...or better yet, it is much better to hit a hard line drive that the 3B has to leap to catch (and your kid is out) vs. the little blooper that just happened to land in shallow RF.

But sure, you are the expert...even though the true experts say otherwise.

Mike Matheny was also driven out of two major league organizations (first Cards, then Royals) for creating a toxic clubhouse culture...