Do you go to all home games?

[Anonymous]

Everyone will say “oh but we are the exception!” to this- but it applies to the majority of parents of older kids and/or travel sports kids.

Moms mostly socialize and pay little attention to the game, and often don’t even understand what is going on in the game anyway.

Most dads are a hindrance rather than a help, and their kid would be better off if they didn’t attend. So so much bad behavior. Even the dads who appear sane are a nightmare on the car ride home. Ask their kids.

Most coaches would rather coach a team of orphans.

There- I said what I said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

You’re never going to convince me that most kids want their parents to be completely oblivious to their on field accomplishments. I’m sure they don’t want their parents screaming stupid crap or being otherwise embarrassing, but I’m not talking about that.

Hey, go buy the book and read it or get it from your library. https://www.amazon.com/Matheny-Manifesto-Managers-Old-School-Success/dp/055344672X

I mean, it's not like the guy doesn't know of what he writes.

I don't think you appreciate that even innocuous cheering causes pressure on kids. We aren't just talking about the obvious parents that are trying to actively coach their kids from the stands.

It is also the old, "don't praise accomplishments, praise effort". You think you are just being nice when you say "Nice Homerun today"...your kid hears that you are only proud of him when he hits a home run, but you probably think he is a POS if he makes an error. I mean, you never praise him for showing great form when he struck out...or better yet, it is much better to hit a hard line drive that the 3B has to leap to catch (and your kid is out) vs. the little blooper that just happened to land in shallow RF.

But sure, you are the expert...even though the true experts say otherwise.

Mike Matheny was also driven out of two major league organizations (first Cards, then Royals) for creating a toxic clubhouse culture...

Lol. I was just about to say that. Mike Matheny is one of the last people I would turn to for advice

[Anonymous]

I loved coaching LL during Covid. They made all the parents sit behind the home run fence.

1000% the best season ever coaching. Parents could try to yell all they wanted but nobody could hear what the the heck they were saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I loved coaching LL during Covid. They made all the parents sit behind the home run fence.

1000% the best season ever coaching. Parents could try to yell all they wanted but nobody could hear what the the heck they were saying.

This was nice! Our team parents continued this even after the rules changed for another couple seasons. We started tailgating out there and found the whole thing more enjoyable instead of stressing about a game that has nothing to do with us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids have parents who rarely show up. It strikes me as very sad.

I remember seeing the Dad of one of DS' soccer teammates sitting in his truck watching TV on his phone during a game.

It was honestly one of the saddest things I've ever seen

Don't judge. Some parents have disabilities or ailments that prevent then from walking/standing/sitting for long periods so they stay in the car.

Nope. I will 100% judge this man

He had no disability. He just didn't like soccer and felt his interests were more important than watching his son.

Eh. Quite frankly, I can go either way with this. Should parents support their kids? Of course. But I’m not sure the kid with the overly-invested parent screaming instructions from the sidelines at every game is better off.

Sometimes it strikes me as very effed up that a bunch of adults haul out camp chairs each weekend to watch every second of kiddie games. Just let them play….

Sure. But lets not act like its an either/or. Those aren't the only 2 options. You can (and should) be a parent that just observes from the stands and cheer positively for the team.

In fact, despite all the bad parents out there, I think most parents fall into that third category.

Saying "I don't attend the games, because when I do, I behave poorly" is a pretty bad excuse

Lol, I am not remotely badly behaved. But I actually think kids would be better off if their parents' lives did not revolve around their sports. Kids should be playing because it brings them joy, and not for cheers from parents on the sidelines at every game. Watch the occasional game? Absolutely. But otherwise, let it be something they do independently. Our smothering is damaging our kids.

[Anonymous]

I slayed go to one child’s game. I can’t be at them all, but one parent is almost always at every game for each child. It’s just a game op. If they lose they lose. It doesn’t matter in the long run. If they are having fun, cheer them on. Is it not a social thing for you too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

You’re never going to convince me that most kids want their parents to be completely oblivious to their on field accomplishments. I’m sure they don’t want their parents screaming stupid crap or being otherwise embarrassing, but I’m not talking about that.

Hey, go buy the book and read it or get it from your library. https://www.amazon.com/Matheny-Manifesto-Managers-Old-School-Success/dp/055344672X

I mean, it's not like the guy doesn't know of what he writes.

I don't think you appreciate that even innocuous cheering causes pressure on kids. We aren't just talking about the obvious parents that are trying to actively coach their kids from the stands.

It is also the old, "don't praise accomplishments, praise effort". You think you are just being nice when you say "Nice Homerun today"...your kid hears that you are only proud of him when he hits a home run, but you probably think he is a POS if he makes an error. I mean, you never praise him for showing great form when he struck out...or better yet, it is much better to hit a hard line drive that the 3B has to leap to catch (and your kid is out) vs. the little blooper that just happened to land in shallow RF.

But sure, you are the expert...even though the true experts say otherwise.

NP. You sound unhinged. You read ONE BOOK that contains the opinions of ONE MAN.

And as far as the praising effort stuff, we’re not talking about toddlers here. The kid doesn’t think that hitting a line drive straight to the third baseman is just as good as hitting a blooper that gets him on base… because it’s not. That’s how the game is played and I am guessing kids this age find it very cringe to have mommy praising them for errors or easily catchable non-hits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved coaching LL during Covid. They made all the parents sit behind the home run fence.

1000% the best season ever coaching. Parents could try to yell all they wanted but nobody could hear what the the heck they were saying.

This was nice! Our team parents continued this even after the rules changed for another couple seasons. We started tailgating out there and found the whole thing more enjoyable instead of stressing about a game that has nothing to do with us.

This sounds amazing.

[Anonymous]

I try but often don’t show up until halftime. For club we have two kids playing so it’s usually a divide and conquer situation—and my youngest thinks I’m bad luck so she prefers to have her dad there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

You’re never going to convince me that most kids want their parents to be completely oblivious to their on field accomplishments. I’m sure they don’t want their parents screaming stupid crap or being otherwise embarrassing, but I’m not talking about that.

Hey, go buy the book and read it or get it from your library. https://www.amazon.com/Matheny-Manifesto-Managers-Old-School-Success/dp/055344672X

I mean, it's not like the guy doesn't know of what he writes.

I don't think you appreciate that even innocuous cheering causes pressure on kids. We aren't just talking about the obvious parents that are trying to actively coach their kids from the stands.

It is also the old, "don't praise accomplishments, praise effort". You think you are just being nice when you say "Nice Homerun today"...your kid hears that you are only proud of him when he hits a home run, but you probably think he is a POS if he makes an error. I mean, you never praise him for showing great form when he struck out...or better yet, it is much better to hit a hard line drive that the 3B has to leap to catch (and your kid is out) vs. the little blooper that just happened to land in shallow RF.

But sure, you are the expert...even though the true experts say otherwise.

NP. You sound unhinged. You read ONE BOOK that contains the opinions of ONE MAN.

And as far as the praising effort stuff, we’re not talking about toddlers here. The kid doesn’t think that hitting a line drive straight to the third baseman is just as good as hitting a blooper that gets him on base… because it’s not. That’s how the game is played and I am guessing kids this age find it very cringe to have mommy praising them for errors or easily catchable non-hits.

I sound unhinged? I mean look at what you wrote. You just don't understand probably your own kid. Also, there are many books and much research on the topic, which the book actually cites. It is not opinions.

BTW, the kid should care more about hitting the line drive that wasn't straight to the 3rd baseman, but rather the 3rd baseman leapt and made a great catch. Why, because a college coach cares WAY MORE about a kid that hit that ball, then the kid who managed to eke out a little blooper to shallow RF. So, I would absolutely praise the former and just not mention the latter.

It's fine if you don't understand high level sports or have a recruitable player...you can celebrate your kid's mediocrity and also make your kid feel like s**t otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

You’re never going to convince me that most kids want their parents to be completely oblivious to their on field accomplishments. I’m sure they don’t want their parents screaming stupid crap or being otherwise embarrassing, but I’m not talking about that.

Hey, go buy the book and read it or get it from your library. https://www.amazon.com/Matheny-Manifesto-Managers-Old-School-Success/dp/055344672X

I mean, it's not like the guy doesn't know of what he writes.

I don't think you appreciate that even innocuous cheering causes pressure on kids. We aren't just talking about the obvious parents that are trying to actively coach their kids from the stands.

It is also the old, "don't praise accomplishments, praise effort". You think you are just being nice when you say "Nice Homerun today"...your kid hears that you are only proud of him when he hits a home run, but you probably think he is a POS if he makes an error. I mean, you never praise him for showing great form when he struck out...or better yet, it is much better to hit a hard line drive that the 3B has to leap to catch (and your kid is out) vs. the little blooper that just happened to land in shallow RF.

But sure, you are the expert...even though the true experts say otherwise.

NP. You sound unhinged. You read ONE BOOK that contains the opinions of ONE MAN.

And as far as the praising effort stuff, we’re not talking about toddlers here. The kid doesn’t think that hitting a line drive straight to the third baseman is just as good as hitting a blooper that gets him on base… because it’s not. That’s how the game is played and I am guessing kids this age find it very cringe to have mommy praising them for errors or easily catchable non-hits.

I sound unhinged? I mean look at what you wrote. You just don't understand probably your own kid. Also, there are many books and much research on the topic, which the book actually cites. It is not opinions.

BTW, the kid should care more about hitting the line drive that wasn't straight to the 3rd baseman, but rather the 3rd baseman leapt and made a great catch. Why, because a college coach cares WAY MORE about a kid that hit that ball, then the kid who managed to eke out a little blooper to shallow RF. So, I would absolutely praise the former and just not mention the latter.

It's fine if you don't understand high level sports or have a recruitable player...you can celebrate your kid's mediocrity and also make your kid feel like s**t otherwise.

“It is also the old, "don't praise accomplishments, praise effort".”

Please explain how your bolded statement supports your previously stated philosophy. I think you are much more “results oriented” than you think.

Also, you sound doubly unhinged with your bizarre ending rant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids have parents who rarely show up. It strikes me as very sad.

I remember seeing the Dad of one of DS' soccer teammates sitting in his truck watching TV on his phone during a game.

It was honestly one of the saddest things I've ever seen

It’s equally possible that the dad realized that he gets too worked up at the kid’s games and decided that this is the best way to support his kid. Many adults get way too emotional about youth sports and need to find ways to support their kids without being a jerk on the sidelines. Maybe dad’s TV time in the truck is a gift to the kid.

I’m not that into the outcomes of my kid’s games, but I can’t abide a bully, and I’ve occasionally almost come to blows with basketball dads who try to influence the outcome of middle school or freshman games by screaming insults at the children playing. By varsity that comes with the territory, but I think it’s appalling for a 40-ish man to scream obscenities or homophobic taunts at 14 year olds. I don’t want to get sued or embarrass my kid, so I’ve sometimes left games when I start to get really angry at bad adult behavior (as long as I’m confident that the kids are physically safe).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more surprised at the number of parents who show up and don’t watch any of the games or practices. At the most recent game, woman’s son made a great play and she had no idea because she was talking about random stuff with another parent.

Again, read the books / articles on this…because that’s actually what the kids prefer.

Also, sometimes as part of carpool I might stick around for practice because it was more efficient vs dropping off and returning home just to turn around again…but I don’t give a rats a** about the practice. I knew my kid was getting good instruction…why do I need to pay attention to a practice?

You’re never going to convince me that most kids want their parents to be completely oblivious to their on field accomplishments. I’m sure they don’t want their parents screaming stupid crap or being otherwise embarrassing, but I’m not talking about that.

Hey, go buy the book and read it or get it from your library. https://www.amazon.com/Matheny-Manifesto-Managers-Old-School-Success/dp/055344672X

I mean, it's not like the guy doesn't know of what he writes.

I don't think you appreciate that even innocuous cheering causes pressure on kids. We aren't just talking about the obvious parents that are trying to actively coach their kids from the stands.

It is also the old, "don't praise accomplishments, praise effort". You think you are just being nice when you say "Nice Homerun today"...your kid hears that you are only proud of him when he hits a home run, but you probably think he is a POS if he makes an error. I mean, you never praise him for showing great form when he struck out...or better yet, it is much better to hit a hard line drive that the 3B has to leap to catch (and your kid is out) vs. the little blooper that just happened to land in shallow RF.

But sure, you are the expert...even though the true experts say otherwise.

NP. You sound unhinged. You read ONE BOOK that contains the opinions of ONE MAN.

And as far as the praising effort stuff, we’re not talking about toddlers here. The kid doesn’t think that hitting a line drive straight to the third baseman is just as good as hitting a blooper that gets him on base… because it’s not. That’s how the game is played and I am guessing kids this age find it very cringe to have mommy praising them for errors or easily catchable non-hits.

I sound unhinged? I mean look at what you wrote. You just don't understand probably your own kid. Also, there are many books and much research on the topic, which the book actually cites. It is not opinions.

BTW, the kid should care more about hitting the line drive that wasn't straight to the 3rd baseman, but rather the 3rd baseman leapt and made a great catch. Why, because a college coach cares WAY MORE about a kid that hit that ball, then the kid who managed to eke out a little blooper to shallow RF. So, I would absolutely praise the former and just not mention the latter.

It's fine if you don't understand high level sports or have a recruitable player...you can celebrate your kid's mediocrity and also make your kid feel like s**t otherwise.

“It is also the old, "don't praise accomplishments, praise effort".”

Please explain how your bolded statement supports your previously stated philosophy. I think you are much more “results oriented” than you think.

Also, you sound doubly unhinged with your bizarre ending rant.

Now, I am unhinged X 2. I am trying to dumb this down so you understand it...and again, you have a mediocre talent, just admit it.

Praising a play that resulted in an out and the effort in the swing and the timing on the ball let's the kid know that it's better to get an out because the form is there, the power is there, and keep working those fundamentals and you are going to lift that line drive just 2 feet higher and drop a double down the line next time. I say don't mention the blooper...because there is nothing to discuss...the kid knows they got on base, but it wasn't a solid hit, and it's not something they want to replicate.

You do realize you sound exactly like the a**hole parents that others are mentioning, right? We can hear you now barking from the stands, haranguing your kid and others on the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids have parents who rarely show up. It strikes me as very sad.

I remember seeing the Dad of one of DS' soccer teammates sitting in his truck watching TV on his phone during a game.

It was honestly one of the saddest things I've ever seen

It’s equally possible that the dad realized that he gets too worked up at the kid’s games and decided that this is the best way to support his kid. Many adults get way too emotional about youth sports and need to find ways to support their kids without being a jerk on the sidelines. Maybe dad’s TV time in the truck is a gift to the kid.

I’m not that into the outcomes of my kid’s games, but I can’t abide a bully, and I’ve occasionally almost come to blows with basketball dads who try to influence the outcome of middle school or freshman games by screaming insults at the children playing. By varsity that comes with the territory, but I think it’s appalling for a 40-ish man to scream obscenities or homophobic taunts at 14 year olds. I don’t want to get sued or embarrass my kid, so I’ve sometimes left games when I start to get really angry at bad adult behavior (as long as I’m confident that the kids are physically safe).

I found basketball insane...parents on the sidelines actively coaching their kids when they are two feet away in one of those tight gyms, often giving instructions in direct conflict with the coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone will say “oh but we are the exception!” to this- but it applies to the majority of parents of older kids and/or travel sports kids.

Moms mostly socialize and pay little attention to the game, and often don’t even understand what is going on in the game anyway.

Most dads are a hindrance rather than a help, and their kid would be better off if they didn’t attend. So so much bad behavior. Even the dads who appear sane are a nightmare on the car ride home. Ask their kids.

Most coaches would rather coach a team of orphans.

There- I said what I said.

I disagree with a lot of this. Yes, there are always one or two parents that are over the top, but most parents are supportive.

Kids just want their parents to show up. This is about your kid, not what the coach wants.